MerlinsMum Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 I didn't post in Remembrance last year when Merlin died. It was almost too much to bear to post on social media, but I managed to (and was unbelievably grateful for the generosity and support I received. I will never forget it. All my love and gratitude goes to each and all of you who were there, and especially to my precious friends in the WFUBCC. FF&F, my friends.) I was never able to find the right words for a remembrance post. All the poems and lyrics in the world, however beautiful, seemed to fall short - except maybe for W.H. Auden's Funeral Blues. So I included that in the video below.Today marks exactly one year since he died and left my heart in pieces. Remembering Merlin I will let the video tell what's in my heart whenever the word "Merlin" sings that magical song in my mind that no one else can hear. All I can say is that, despite the sudden and painful loss of my beloved Sagan barely five months before I lost Merlin (they both succumbed to osteo), despite the end of my marriage, it is the loss of this incredible dog, my cheeky, impertinent, funny, one-in-a-million dog, that dealt the fatal blow to my heart. The pain is still so raw that thinking of him, seeing any old picture of him (I took thousands), or watching a video of him (he looks SO alive....) still tears me apart. I still cry for him every day and I can say that it is the worst, most heart-wrenching pain of my life. Despite adopting my sweet little heart healer Pippin, who is doing a grand job, and whom I love dearly, the emptiness and the grief are still so overwhelming. I didn't expect it to hurt so much a year later. He is in my thoughts constantly, and on good days his absence feels like an ache that breaks my concentration and won't leave me alone, and on bad days the grief is paralysing and overwhelming. I don't trust myself around people when that wave of grief hits me, and I don't always get a warning. I would give all the riches in the world, every last thing I own and the remaining time of my life for one more day with him. Enough. He was my everything, and I will miss him forever. I can't tell you how many times I have envied the comfort that some of my friends experience from their belief that they will see their loved ones again. But I know I most likely won't ever again set eyes on the most wonderful soul that I was so very, very lucky to know and love. The memories will have to be enough, and the pain of his absence will have to be endured. If there is a silver lining in all of this, it's that it has made me more inclined to listen to others, to feel compassion and empathy for other human beings as they, too - as we all do - navigate the fears, frailties and losses that life throws at us. Indeed, my friends' losses of their beloved hounds hit me twice as hard these days. “Yours is the light by which my spirit's born: you are my sun, my moon, and all my stars.”― E.E. Cummings Thank you for reading and remembering him with me today. Quote Kerry with Lupin in beautiful coastal Maine. Missing Pippin, my best friend and sweet little heart-healer 2013-2023 Also missing the best wizard in the world, Merlin, and my sweet 80lb limpet, Sagan, every single day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeorgeofNE Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 Awww, Miss Kerry, Merlin was as lucky to have you as you to have him. Many would have returned him after the first few difficult weeks, but you didn't. Many more would have tried everything humanly possible to keep him alive DESPITE how that plays out for the dog. You didn't. Your grief is unbearable, but you carry on. And you were able to open your heart to a new friend. I'm super proud of you for doing that. Experiencing grief is one thing but letting it take over your whole life--you didn't do that, and Merlin would not want that. None of us know where we go when we die. But won't it be great if we DO see our loved ones again? Quote Susan, Hamish, Mister Bigglesworth and Nikita Stanislav. Missing Ming, George, and Buck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robinw Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 Kerry, Merlin was loved by so many of us. We miss him, too. Quote Xavi the galgo and Peter the cat. Missing Iker the galgo ?-Feb.9/19, Treasure (USS Treasure) April 12/01-May 6/13, Phoenix (Hallo Top Son) Dec.14/99-June 4/11 and Loca (Reko Swahili) Oct.9/95 - June 1/09, Allen the boss cat, died late November, 2021, age 19. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaineysMom Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 sending many, many hugs Quote Kim and Bruce - with Rick (Rick Roufus 6/30/16) and missing my sweet greyhound Angels Rainey (LG's Rainey 10/4/2000 - 3/8/2011), Anubis (RJ's Saint Nick 12/25/2001 - 9/12/12) and Zeke (Hey Who Whiz It 4/6/2009 - 7/20/2020) and Larry (PTL Laroach 2/24/2007 - 8/2/2020) -- and Chester (Lab) (8/31/1990 - 5/3/2005), Captain (Schipperke) (10/12/1992 - 6/13/2005) and Remy (GSP) (?/?/1998 - 1/6/2005) at the bridge"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." -- Ernest Hemmingway Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XTRAWLD Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 Been there. Done that. Hurts like hell, still. We're right there with you. Quote Proudly owned by:10 year old "Ryder" CR Redman Gotcha May 201012.5 year old Angel "Kasey" Goodbye Kasey Gotcha July 2005-Aug 1, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiveRoooooers Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 (edited) After losing Seamus four years later and most days I still dont feel human. I think I understand what youve shared. They are always in our hearts. I couldn't watch the video at work because I knew I'd be a blubbering mess. I was right. You have done your Wizard proud, Miss Kerry. Edited March 9, 2018 by FiveRoooooers Quote Old Dogs are the Best Dogs. Thank you, campers. Current enrollees: Punkin. AnnIE Oooh M, Ebbie, HollyBeeBop (Betty Crocker). Angels: Pal . Segugio. Sorella (TPGIT). LadyBug. Zeke-aroni. MiMi Sizzle Pants. Gracie. Seamie . (Foster)Sweet. Andy. PaddyALVIN!Mayhem. Bosco. Bruno. Dottie B. Trevor Double-Heart. Bea. Cletus, KLTO. Aiden 1-4. Upon reflection, our lives are often referenced in parts defined by the all-too-short lives of our dogs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
racindog Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 I will always love the Wizard. I am a better person for having known Merlin even if only through GT. He will be loved always and never forgotten. "Some animals...leave a trail of glory behind them.They give their spirit to the place where they have lived,and remain forever a part of the rocks and streams and the wind and sky."- Marguerite Henry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenbo Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 Sending lots of love, Kerry, The Wizard is a special soul and I'm sure you'll see him again. If not him in the fur, his beautiful cheeky soul. Quote Camp Broodie with tuxedo Summer 12 and tuxedo Dio 6 Missing KC Kitty 2000-2016, Myka and part of my heart 2006-2020, and Saint YellBoy 2014-2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramonaghan Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 I'm so sorry for the Merlin-shaped hole in your heart, Kerry. Sending many hugs your way. Quote Rachel with Doolin Doodle Dooooo, boss cat Tootie, and feline squatters Crumpet and Fezziwig. Missing gentlemen kitties Mud, Henry, and Richard and our gorgeous, gutsy girlhounds Sweep and Willa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvhounds2 Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 Oh Kerry, I'm so sorry you're still hurting so bad. He was marvelous, wasn't he? I hope with all my heart that you are wrong about meeting them again. Won't that be a fine day! Quote Barb, Mom to Grey's Tickertape & Grey's McCarthy.Always missing: Wizzie and Desi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greysmom Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 Merlin was a special soul. The fact that he was a dog makes no difference whatsoever. FF&F Quote Chris - Mom to: Felicity (DeLand), and Andi (Braska Pandora) siggy by Chris Harper, on Flickr Angels: Libby (Everlast), Dorie (Dog Gone Holly), Dude (TNJ VooDoo), Copper (Kid's Copper), Cash (GSI Payncash), Toni (LPH Cry Baby), Whiskey (KT's Phys Ed), Atom, Lilly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Time4ANap Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 Merlin and Sagan were both part of our huge greyhound family. You have lots of family here who miss those boys along with you. Even if we never met them, we knew them well. Quote Camp Broodie. The current home of Mark Kay Mark Jack and Gracie Kiowa Safe Joan. Always missing my boy Rocket Hi Noon Rocket, Allie Phoenix Dynamite, Kate Miss Kate, Starz Under Da Starz, Petunia MW Neptunia, Diva Astar Dashindiva, and LaVida I've Got Life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LBass Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 Quote Lucy with Greyhound Nate and OSH Tinker. With loving memories of MoMo (FTH Chyna Moon), Spirit, Miles the slinky kitty (OSH), Piper "The Perfect" (Oneco Chaplin), Winston, Yoda, Hector, and Claire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnF Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 The next tears he sends your way will be healing tears... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScootersMom Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 (edited) Miss Kerry, you were in my thoughts often today. There are no words that will ease the pain and sorrow of your loss. Nothing, even the most loving people and pups, will make the longing any less. Thank you for sharing what is in your heart. ETA: I couldn't watch all of the video today. I will eventually, a bit at a time, as I can. The quote from Shakespeare was as far as I got . . . it was perfect. Edited March 10, 2018 by ScootersMom Quote Miss Noo Carol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BatterseaBrindl Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Only we know what a small price we pay for the love we have received from our dogs. The sadness and loss, no matter how powerful it may be, is an insufficient measure of the joy that we have been given. Cherish that joy and hold the beautiful memories of your Merlin close to your heart. Quote Nancy...Mom to Sid (Peteles Tiger), Kibo (112 Carlota Galgos) and Joshi. Missing Casey, Gomer, Mona, Penelope, BillieJean, Bandit, Nixon (Starz Sammie), Ruby (Watch Me Dash) Nigel (Nigel), and especially little Mario, waiting at the Bridge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneGTS Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Quote Anne, Sasha & Tapas. Spriet (2002-2015), Tibbie (2000-2015) and Gunda (1996-2009) www.rapiddogwear.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hubcitypam Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batmom Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Hugs. He was truly a special creature. Rest well, Merlin. Quote Star aka Starz Ovation (Ronco x Oneco Maggie*, litter #48538), Coco aka Low Key (Kiowa Mon Manny x Party Hardy, litter # 59881), and mom in IllinoisWe miss Reko Batman (Trouper Zeke x Marque Louisiana), 11/15/95-6/29/06, Rocco the thistledown whippet, 04/29/93-10/14/08, Reko Zema (Mo Kick x Reko Princess), 8/16/98-4/18/10, the most beautiful girl in the whole USA, my good egg Joseph aka Won by a Nose (Oneco Cufflink x Buy Back), 09/22/2003-03/01/2013, and our gentle sweet Gidget (Digitizer, Dodgem by Design x Sobe Mulberry), 1/29/2006-11/22/2014, gone much too soon. Never forgetting CJC's Buckshot, 1/2/07-10/25/10. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShebasMom Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Oh my oh my oh my, and the cutest ears ever! So sorry for your loss and that it stays with you still so painfully. I somehow just know you will see him again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lexi Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Sending you hugs on the anniversary of your loss. Quote Lexi (mom to Nok, the former feral black kitty) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EllenEveBaz Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 He was beautiful -- body and soul. Quote Ellen, with brindle Milo and the blonde ballerina, Gelsey remembering Eve, Baz, Scout, Romie, Nutmeg, and Jeter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sabrina Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Well Kerry if I know Merlin at all he is probably saying " About time Muffin Head, letting my adoring public know I have left the earth . They have been wondering where the world's greatest wizard was" HUGS Caroline Quote Caroline, Mom to Daphne (49B-50215) and Penny (41D-55779)Remembering Bridge Angels Margo and Sabrina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mercsmom Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Well Kerry if I know Merlin at all he is probably saying " About time Muffin Head, letting my adoring public know I have left the earth . They have been wondering where the world's greatest wizard was" HUGS Caroline Yep, that's just about right. Your video captured both the beauty of his soul and the aching pain of the loss of him. Quote Momma to Jupiter. Mummy to my Bridge Angels, Mercury and Liberty, the world's best blackngreylabhound Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fostr_Mom Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 We all miss your Wizard, Ms Kerry. He was my first greyhound crush when I first started reading GT. There was just something so special about him. I know you don't believe you will every "see" him again, but I believe the unique energy this is us never just disappears. And someday we will cross paths with the energy that is our loved ones, animals or human. Grieve as long as you need. Sending hugs and peace for your heart. Quote <p>Mom to Kyle (Diehard Kyle) & Angel Gracie (KB's Sankey) Foster Mom for AFG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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