Logan is gone

[rsieg]

Logan is gone, and I’m trying to figure out what happened. He was fine Saturday, went for his usual morning walk and ate his breakfast. He did skip dinner, but he does that sometimes. He wanted to go out for a late Saturday evening walk, but got scared by a firework. He somehow broke a nail in the time it took for him to go down the front walkway, hear the firework and head back. But it was barely bleeding, nothing hanging, and I bandaged it at home and went to bed.

Sunday morning, he did not come by the bathroom door like he usually does, I went to check and he was still lying in the spare bedroom where he often sleeps. I took the bandage off, nail looked fine. But, Logan was lethargic, had no interest in his morning walk or his breakfast or even a couple treats I tossed to him. He did eventually get up, but was panting. He went out and did #1 and #2, then laid back down. I found out later he must have had to go as I found a BM in the back hallway he must have dropped overnight.

He came into the living room a while later on Sunday, still looked lethargic but he laid next to me as I was on the sofa and even rolled over on his back to get a leg rub like he usually does, seemed to be comfortable. But when he flipped back over and stood up, he started gagging, and vomited a little yellow bile. At that point he laid down and was not getting up. I tried to pick him up to take him to the eVet, but could not. He did eventually get up and get into the car, barely (I'll always be thankful to him for doing that, though I know it must have been very hard for him), and I drove him to the eVet. He was able to get out of the car on his own but only when the vet assistants tried to slide him out, and walked in on his own power. Vet did X-ray and blood test, said blood looked ok, she was concerned his spleen seemed enlarged but her main diagnosis was pneumonia, with a fever of 105 F. She said they could keep him overnight and give him an antibiotic regimen, but she thought it was 50/50 whether he would make it through the night. Unfortunately, they would not let me stay with him overnight.

After talking with the vet, I decided to let him go. I’m still not sure that was the right decision, there was a 50/50 shot he would have gotten through the night. The vet did not have a strong opinion either way, first time I’ve dealt with that as with my past dogs it was obvious to everyone it was time. But, he was 13 years old, and I could not stand the thought of him suffocating to death all alone in a vet ICU hooked up to an IV. I might have let him be treated overnight if I could have stayed with him, but that was not an option. And to be honest, I was afraid if he did recover and got home and then had a relapse, I would not have been able to get him back to the vet. As it was, he went peacefully, and I think comfortably, just laying on the floor with me. (They did not insist he go onto a vet table).

So I guess I’m still trying to figure out what happened. Is it common for a dog to develop severe pneumonia virtually overnight? Could he have had symptoms for a few days and I missed it? He was still walking 1-2 miles a day last week, and even did two miles last Monday, and did not seem overly tired afterward. Could the broken nail have somehow been related? And what I will never know, whether I should have had him stay overnight and see how it went?

Anyway, if you made it this far, thanks for reading, I think it is helping just to write it out. I’ll try to post in remembrance later, but not up to it right now.

[palmettobug]

Oh, oh no, I am so sorry! I lost Johnny unexpectedly, too, suspicion is spleenic tumor. I think these guys are so stoic, so good at hiding things, that he did not show any signs and was ill and didn't want you to worry.

[JaimeL]

So very sorry for your loss of Logan. Questioning our decisions is often the case in regards to letting our best friends go. Hopefully you will see that you made the best decision you could with the information you had and you made it out of love for Logan.

[Houndtime]

I am so sorry for your loss.  I lost two very suddenly to splenetic issues which developed quickly.  No matter how long they stay, they never stay long enough. 

[FiveRoooooers]

I am so sorry. I agree with palmettobug, the stoicism these hounds can display is unequaled. FWIW, you made the right call given the information available. Logan didn’t have a terrible overnight and you were able to be with him as he was given his wings. Please don’t second guess yourself. He knew how much you loved him. 

I’ve enjoyed all of Logan’s posts, he will be missed. 

[ramonaghan]

Shocked and saddened to see this headline. I am so sorry for your sudden loss. I agree with the others that you made a loving decision based on the best info you had, and you wisely avoided the risk of a crisis at home and a much less peaceful goodbye. You did right by your boy. 

Rest well, Logan. We'll miss you.

Edited July 10, 2023 by ramonaghan

[Remolacha]

I am so sorry   As others have said, spleen issues can stay hidden and the suddenly blow up. My Molly had several weeks of some days not being “quite right” and other days fine with no real diagnosis (very good grey savvy vet). Ultrasound showed enlarged spleen and I opted for surgery which, in 20/20 hindsight was not the right choice. 
I think you made the best decision for Logan, you would not have wanted to take him home and have a crisis to deal with, that would not have been good for him or you. Better a day too soon than a day too late, even if the day too soon is completely unexpected.

[Jerilyn]

I am so sorry. You gave Logan a good, long, happy life! 

[EllenEveBaz]

Oh, no -- Rob!  I'm so sorry!  Sudden, severe illness is its own, particular nightmare.    

I'm not an experienced medical issue person so have no theories on the causes, although it's hard to think that the nail played any major role.  

I made a similar decision for my first greyhound, Eve, who was also 13 years old and in seemingly good shape.  I hope you find the same comfort that I found in thinking later that all the grief and guilt I felt was partly a burden I lifted from Eve and took onto myself.  If I had left her overnight in the e-vet, alone and unable to move, that would have been so much worse than my second-guessing the decision.  You must be feeling terrible now, emotionally.  But Logan is feeling no pain or difficulty breathing and is not scared.  Eve gave my hand a lick as we waited for the last sedative to take effect.  I always thought that was her reassuring me that she was okay. 

Every time you go for a walk, Logan's spirit and memory will be with you.  

 

 

[Time4ANap]

I'm so sorry to see this. I think we all go through that second-guessing ourselves phase. You did the right thing and got to be there with him. You kept your ultimate promise to Logan. We will miss his stories here. Run-free, Logan. 

[BatterseaBrindl]

So sorry that you had to say goodbye to Logan 

 

[spottydog]

We, too just went through this with our non-grey; the pneumonia, the enlarged spleen. You did right by your boy. He left bathed in your love.

[SIGreyLady]

Sorry too hear abut Logan.  They always leave us too soon.  Will keep you both in my prayers.

[FiveRoooooers]

1 hour ago, spottydog said:

We, too just went through this with our non-grey; the pneumonia, the enlarged spleen. You did right by your boy. He left bathed in your love.

Oh no, I’m so sorry 

[Beachbum1]

So very sorry about your loss. 

You did the right thing.  It's all about the dog.

[GreyPoopon]

I'm so very sorry. You made your decision based on the information you had and with Logan's comfort as your first priority, so it was absolutely the right decision.  

[rsieg]

Thank you everyone for your kind words. It helps a lot.

[LBass]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. 

As others have so eloquently said, the second guessing seems inevitable, but remember--you chose the path that you believed was best for Logan.  That is all any of us can ever do.

[greysmom]

I'll echo what everyone has said and will continue to tell you - you made the best decision available with the information you had.  That's all any of us can do. 

I doubt the toenail had anything to do with anything, though a panic attack could have triggered some physical issue, especially a stroke or internal rupture.  And, while I don't like to question the professionals, you not seeing any symptoms of pneumonia in the previous days (panting, coughing, physical weakness, fever), it seems like a curious diagnosis.  If he did suffer a heart related issue, or an embolism, it could have caused some lung filling leading to a cascade of failure.  BUT - knowing the cause would NOT have changed the outcome.  You would have been faced with exactly the same decision.   It just sucks.

I am so sorry that Logan had to leave.  {{{hugs}}}

[racindog]

My heart is breaking for you.  You did the right thing because you acted 100% out of love. No one could have done anything more. I have been in similar situations and though sad it is a fact that when its their time its their time and nothing will change it. 

When tomorrow starts without me

And I’m not here to see

If the sun should rise and find your eyes

All filled with tears for me

I wish you wouldn’t cry

The Way you did today

While thinking of the many things

We did not get to say

I know how much you love me

As much as I love you

Each time that you think of me

I know you will miss me too

When tomorrow starts with out me

Please try to understand

That an angel came and called my name

And took me by the hand

The angel said my place was ready

In heaven far above

And That I would have to leave behind

All those I Dearly Love

But When I walked through Heaven’s Gates

I felt so much at home

When GOD looked down and smiled at me

From his golden throne

He said This Is Eternity

And All I promised you

Today for life on earth is done

But Here it starts a new

I promise no tomorrow

For today will always last

And Since each day’s the exact same way

There is no longing for the past

So When Tomorrow starts without me

Do not think we’re apart

For every time you think of me

Remember I’m right here in your heart.

 

 

The Way

In the darkness I turned to go; my last day's

done; I'll miss you so. No time even to say

goodbye or to lock the tears spilling from

your eyes.

That's when I heard you call my name;

I knew right then I must turn back to help ease your pain.

Since I've no voice with which to speak,

its whispers in your dreams I'll make.

Ease your heart and rest your mind, my

time with you was the best of kind. I couldn't

have asked for a better friend, we've shared

our journey to the very end.

There's one final thing you need to know, I'll

whisper in your ear before I go....."I'm leaving

first to find the way...so I can lead you back here with me on your last day."  -(SLong)

[MerseyGrey]

I’m so sorry to hear this. Others have said it better than I ever can, but you made the right choice for your dog which is all we can ever do. It’s human nature to ask ‘what if…?’, and probably worse because you had to make a fast decision. We never have enough time with our pups as it is 

[MP_the4pack]

Rob, I'm so sorry to hear of Logan. 

I'm going to echo several other people who stated splenic issues. Hemangiosarcoma has claimed 3 of my dogs. Fine in the morning,  gone at night. 

[Houndtime]

2 minutes ago, MP_the4pack said:

Rob, I'm so sorry to hear of Logan. 

I'm going to echo several other people who stated splenic issues. Hemangiosarcoma has claimed 3 of my dogs. Fine in the morning,  gone at night. 

We have had this same experience with two of our greyhounds.

[rsieg]

Thank you again to everyone posting thoughts and condolences. I really appreciate it...