queenwinniesmom Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 (edited) It hurts me to write this, and I don't want to jump the gun, but we feel like Tess may be getting to the point where there is not much more we can do. I haven't posted for a while about the PLE because it's been such a roller coaster, with confusion, frustration, and more than a little guilt and fear. She'd been on the Rx diet, and pred since mid April, but without a lot of improvement. I know that nothing was going to miraculously put weight on my emaciated girl, but it was just hard to know if we were doing anything right. She stopped eating the Royal Canin, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to get a second opinion, since even though we liked the new vet, we didn't feel that she had a lot of experience. So my friend and co-worker referred me to her wonderful vet, an older woman with tons of experience, and we went there last Thursday. We were there for 3 hours! She took a lot of X-rays (and only charged me for 2), and sent them for consult with a radiologist to make sure she wasn't missing anything. She felt we would probably see a tumor, but there was nothing conclusive. The other organs, including the spleen, looked unremarkable. She did have some fluid, ascites from the PLE, but there was also a little blood when the vet aspirated. She fed Tess, gave her a B 12 shot, upped the pred, and referred us to an internist at PVSEC, the emergency and specialty hospital. The appt. on Sat. was for a consult and ultrasound, if we decided to do one. We learned some things from the internist, but decided not to do the ultrasound. All 3 vets feel that Tess is in the end stages of the disease, and cancer is likely, and we didn't feel that the aggressive treatment we decided on would change if we knew the ultrasound results. I know that lots of people would have done it, but we just didn't think it would change anything. Maybe if she was a lot younger (her 11th birthday is June 1) and the symptoms were just starting---I don't know. But the vet recommended an even higher dose of pred, and because she's not absorbing meds as well as not absorbing food, suggested injectable pred. Doug has no problem doing this (I'm filled with anxiety about it), and has been giving the injections with no problem. She's on another med (and Pepcid to help with stomach upset), and has been tolerating all of that. We decided to go with another food, and got some limited ingredient dry---rabbit and potato. She loves it (so does Lydia), and has been eating well. Her stools are still not real firm, but she actually has poop that I can pick up, no blowout diarrhea, a definite improvement. All of this gives us hope that she may have some good, comfortable days, but then we get other stress. She is nothing but skin and bone. And our freaking steps....I hate them so much. Tess has gotten afraid of them. She's stumbled a few times, probably because she is weaker, and then is afraid to continue up the rest of the steps after the little landing. Most of you know the dogs have to do these 22 outside steps to get into our house---no getting around them. Doug hurt his back a few nights ago getting her up the second part. She seems to be more hesitant at night, though they are well lit. Then sometimes she is okay. She still wants to go for walks, so I've been taking her and Calvin for short walks during the day, and she always likes that. She's gotten up the steps afterwards. To cause less stress and exertion, we sometimes just let her pee in the family room like Lydia. At least we have that option. It seems like doing the steps is getting harder for her. And we don't want her to fall like Lydia. That would mean the end. So this morning...Doug let them out at 6 AM, and she got up the steps okay, but then kind of collapsed at the door. Doug carried her into the house, and she got onto the couch, and then seemed okay. This hasn't happened before. It looks like there is more fluid in her belly. She is still eating, and runs into the kitchen for treats---which are just marshmallows, or pieces of the dry food. I know she's tired, but she's still Tess. She still looks at us with a light in her eyes, she still roos, she still seems to want to be here. I've put in calls to the vets to see if they think there is anything else we can do, I guess just to make her more comfortable, to relieve some of the fluid, I'm not sure. Or is it time to say goodbye, even though she hasn't let us know that? Should we pay more attention to what we see physically than to what she is telling us? We hate to let her go if she wants to be here, but we don't want to wait too long. This is so, so, so hard. I'm sorry this is such a long, involved post, but I just needed to say it. Edited May 21, 2015 by queenwinniesmom Nancy, Mom to Evangelina and Kiva Missing Lacey, Patsy, Buster, my heart dog Nick, Winnie, Pollyanna, Tess, my precious Lydia, Calvin Lee, my angel butterfly Laila, and kitties Lily, Sam and Simon My Etsy shop: http://www.etsy.com/shop/Catsburgandhoundtown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a_daerr Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Nancy! You've already had a rough year with Polly. I hate to see you go through this again with Tess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remolacha Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 It is so hard when their body is failing but their spirit is still strong. Only you can decide when it is time, but I am afraid you are right, it will be soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4My2Greys Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Nancy, I'm sorry. It hurts my heart to know what you are going through. I think as long as she is responding well to the food and has that light in her eyes I would give her some more time. Hopefully the vet will be able to help you more. Big hugs to you and Doug. I know how hard these times can be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MurphysMom Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Trying not to cry while reading this! My heart hurts for you. I have no advice, since I have no experience in this, but you are in my thoughts and prayers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiveRoooooers Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Nancy, if it helps, what I did with Pal was when I could see that he was getting weak behind to the point that he was stumbling and getting up/down was more challenging, I sat and talked with him. His appetite was still good, but we had reached the max on medications and treatments (years' worth) and it was clear that at 14.1 his body was simply wearing out. We decided better a day too soon than a day too late, to enjoy to the absolute max his last day and try to do as much as possible of what he loved ... lots of special noms, a stuffin' bone, a short walk in the rain in his handsome raincoat. He had a brilliant last day and we didn't have to face the crisis that was surely lurking. Hugs to you as you face this road that too many of us wish we had not walked together. Whatever you decide, it will be entirely from your enormous love for your girl. Old Dogs are the Best Dogs. Thank you, campers. Current enrollees: Punkin. AnnIE Oooh M, Ebbie, HollyBeeBop (Betty Crocker). Angels: Pal . Segugio. Sorella (TPGIT). LadyBug. Zeke-aroni. MiMi Sizzle Pants. Gracie. Seamie . (Foster)Sweet. Andy. PaddyALVIN!Mayhem. Bosco. Bruno. Dottie B. Trevor Double-Heart. Bea. Cletus, KLTO. Aiden 1-4. Upon reflection, our lives are often referenced in parts defined by the all-too-short lives of our dogs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teri_d Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramonaghan Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I have no advice, but my heart breaks for you and I wish you peace and clarity as you face these decisions. Scritches to sweet Tess. Rachel with Doolin Doodle Dooooo, boss cat Tootie, and feline squatters Crumpet and Fezziwig. Missing gentlemen kitties Mud, Henry, and Richard and our gorgeous, gutsy girlhounds Sweep and Willa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rascalsmom Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 All 3 vets feel that Tess is in the end stages of the disease, and cancer is likely... This is what sticks out to me. If she were my dog, I'd probably send her to the bridge. She won't get better, only worse, and if she truly is in the end stages....well, you don't want to wait for that crisis moment that Jan spoke of. The steps just compound the issues she faces, and you can't have Doug getting hurt carrying her up/down. It is certainly never easy, and Tess' journey brings back memories of Jack for me--he also had a protein-losing disease, and it's awful to see them wasting away. You and Doug have given her such a happy, loving life. Never ever forget that!! Phoebe (Belle's Sweetpea) adopted 9/2/13. Jack (BTR Captain Jack) 9/28/05--11/2/12Always missing Buddy, Ruby, and Rascal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spottydog Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Agree with 4My2Greys...if she still has the light in her eyes...it's too early. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbhounds Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Nancy--you know I mean this from the bottom of my heart.......it's time to gift her angel wings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dante2zoe Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Brady still had some light in his eyes and ate his meals. However, there was cancer in there somewhere, too. When he was unable to really stand, I let him go. He left with his dignity intact and in my arms. I was a total mess, though, but who cares. I have heard that if you are thinking about it, then it may be time. Hugs. Cindy Cindy with Miss Fancypants, Paris Bueller, Zeke, and Angus Dante (Dg's Boyd), Zoe (In a While), Brady (Devilish Effect), Goose (BG Shotgun), Maverick (BG ShoMe), Maggie (All Trades Jax), Sherman (LNB Herman Bad) and Indy (BYB whippet) forever in my heart The flame that burns the brightest, burns the fastest and leaves the biggest shadow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banjoman Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I would give her a really good day then ask the vet to come to the house and let her run with the wind. Why wait until she tells you she's had enough and cannot do this any more? Better to let her go with a happy day. Miss "England" Carol with whippet lurcher Nutmeg & Zavvi the Chihuahua. R.I.P. Chancey (Goosetree Chance). 24.1.2009 - 14.4.2022. Bluegrass Banjoman. 25.1.2004 - 25.5.2015 and Ch. Sleepyhollow Aida. 30.9.2000 - 10.1.2014. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest IrskasMom Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 (edited) Nancy , I thought you wrote the Story of my Angel Morty .There is nothing I would do to have / keep him around . He was so emaciated from not eating and we got really nothing conclusive about his obstruction in his abdomen. His Eye ( Glaucoma ) compounded the misery and enormous Pain . The most perfect , soulful Boy , how could I let him suffer . I pray you find Peace with the decision you make :grouphug . Edited May 21, 2015 by IrskasMom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MP_the4pack Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 If she is struggling but not in real obvious pain, just discomfort, she's probably not ready. But it is probably close. I see some are saying it's time now, and others are saying not yet. Only you can truly know if she's ready. I was too late with my Pearl but too early with my Nana. But I can't do anything about it now. They are both gone and I've moved on. Remember, whatever your choice, it's out of love for Tess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winnie Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Only you know when Tess is ready. I'm not even going to try to tell you when that is. I know how much you love your pack and trust you'll do the right thing. Remember back in January when both of us where stressed out about how to get around Seneca Lodge's new 2 dog limit? I know that neither one of truly expected back then to be losing our hounds before July rolled around. Gentle to you and Doug. Laura with Celeste (ICU Celeste) and Galgos Beatrix and Encarna The Horse - Gracie (MD Grace E) Bridge Angels Faye Oops (Santa Fe Oops), Bonny (Bonny Drive), Darcy (D's Zipperfoot) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
queenwinniesmom Posted May 21, 2015 Author Share Posted May 21, 2015 Thank-you for all the kind words. I think we will be making the decision to let our little girl go. Though it's so much harder when she is not looking at us and telling us without speaking, I'm so afraid that we will wait too long. In comparison to 9 years of sharing our home and hearts with Tess, I don't feel it's fair to risk even more sadness if we do wait too long, or if she becomes even more compromised. Today when I let Calvin out twice, she broke my heart when she ran to the door to go out too. I couldn't let her do those steps. Doug is still at work, and if something happened, I'd never forgive myself. Jan, something you said really resonated with me. "He had a brilliant last day and we didn't have to face the crisis that was surely lurking." Rather than hope for a few more good days, perhaps we owe it to Tess to make sure she leaves us with no pain, knowing she was safe and happy until the end. To say that she is loved and spoiled is a given, and the time we are sharing now is not filled with my tears. They do pick up on our sadness, I think, and I want to be sure she knows how good and smart and beautiful and perfect she is rather than be confused by the sadness that will come all too soon. Laura, how I wish we still had the problem of being over their stupid limit. Lydia, if she is still with us, will have to stay home if we go to Grapehounds. Calvin will be our only dog going. That will be so bittersweet, remembering the wonderful time we had last year with all our girls. Nancy, Mom to Evangelina and Kiva Missing Lacey, Patsy, Buster, my heart dog Nick, Winnie, Pollyanna, Tess, my precious Lydia, Calvin Lee, my angel butterfly Laila, and kitties Lily, Sam and Simon My Etsy shop: http://www.etsy.com/shop/Catsburgandhoundtown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greytpups Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 no words, I know you love them and will do what's right for Tess Jan with precious pups Emmy (Stormin J Flag) and Simon (Nitro Si) and Abbey Field. Missing my angels: Bailey Buffetbobleclair 11/11/98-17/12/09; Ben Task Rapid Wave 5/5/02-2/11/15; Brooke Glo's Destroyer 7/09/06-21/06/16 and Katie Crazykatiebug 12/11/06 -21/08/21. My blog about grief The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not get over the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to. ― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lukasmom Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I don't know if you believe in them but we used an animal communicator Latifa from Animals Can Talk. We had a conversation with my girl Peace when we found out she had cancer. She was ready to be set free but agreed to stay a few more days for us. She asked for a specific tech to be in the room with her and said she did not want my Luka in the room. She went on her terms and it was a peaceful passing. She has been back to visit us as she promised she would. Latifa has helped me with my new hound too. Hugs to you all, I know this is one of the most difficult decisions to make. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3DogNite Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I'm so sorry you and your family are going thru this! as we all do at one point , it is never, never an easy decision -- but it sounds like you've made it and can now give the gift of freedom --- Enjoy her while she is still here -- cry for her when she is gone - and remember with smiles and love as the pain subsides! lorinda, mom to the ever revolving door of Foster greyhounds Always in my heart: Teala (LC Sweet Dream) , Pepton, Darbee-Do (Hey Barb) , Rascal (Abitta Rascal), Power (Beyond the Power), and the miracle boy LAZER (2/21/14), Spirit (Bitter Almonds) 8/14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busderpuddle Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Sending prayers for you and your husband as you make this tough decision. Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Houndtime Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I am sorry that you are going thru this, again. Paul was almost 13 and we kept making goals for him. If he could only live to my birthday, Len's birthday, Christmas, etc. His back was weak, his legs were wobbly, he had only two teeth left, but he was a happy boy and always finished his meals. Then he began to get incontinent; not every day, and then he began leaking on his bed. He refused to wear a belly band, and the thought of him laying in his own pee upset me. He was a proud, beautiful boy who raced until his was 4-1/2. He didn't deserve to finish his life like that. You have to let you dog leave while she still has her dignity, or is in so much pain or uncomfortable that you have no choice. Our vet in New Jersey, used to say, better a day too early, than a day too late. G-d bless you, Doug and Tess. Irene Ullmann w/Flying Odin and Mama Mia in Lower Delaware Angels Brandy, John E, American Idol, Paul, Fuzzy and Shine Handcrafted Greyhound and Custom Clocks http://www.houndtime.com Zoom Doggies-Racing Coats for Racing Greyhounds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PiagetsMom Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 I think that the hardest situation to make a decision for is when you have a heart that is willing, with a body that just cannot do what the heart is asking it to do. I fear that I am also heading in that direction, and I send you a heartfelt You and yours will be in my thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batmom Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Hugs. Star aka Starz Ovation (Ronco x Oneco Maggie*, litter #48538), Coco aka Low Key (Kiowa Mon Manny x Party Hardy, litter # 59881), and mom in IllinoisWe miss Reko Batman (Trouper Zeke x Marque Louisiana), 11/15/95-6/29/06, Rocco the thistledown whippet, 04/29/93-10/14/08, Reko Zema (Mo Kick x Reko Princess), 8/16/98-4/18/10, the most beautiful girl in the whole USA, my good egg Joseph aka Won by a Nose (Oneco Cufflink x Buy Back), 09/22/2003-03/01/2013, and our gentle sweet Gidget (Digitizer, Dodgem by Design x Sobe Mulberry), 1/29/2006-11/22/2014, gone much too soon. Never forgetting CJC's Buckshot, 1/2/07-10/25/10. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiveRoooooers Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Old Dogs are the Best Dogs. Thank you, campers. Current enrollees: Punkin. AnnIE Oooh M, Ebbie, HollyBeeBop (Betty Crocker). Angels: Pal . Segugio. Sorella (TPGIT). LadyBug. Zeke-aroni. MiMi Sizzle Pants. Gracie. Seamie . (Foster)Sweet. Andy. PaddyALVIN!Mayhem. Bosco. Bruno. Dottie B. Trevor Double-Heart. Bea. Cletus, KLTO. Aiden 1-4. Upon reflection, our lives are often referenced in parts defined by the all-too-short lives of our dogs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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