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About Banjoman

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    Dorset, England

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  1. Mum bin to see Missr. R. this morning, him sitting out in hiz chayre and seem kwyte bryte but he duz KNOT know hur nayme now. it the Kayre Howme Rok ‘n’ Rowl BBQ on Satonday and Mum bin putting tugetha hur 1950’s rok ‘n’ rowl outfit. She say she need sum glasses lyke Miss. Lizabeff ware. It neerlee bed tyme so I say Gud nyte to awl ower frendz, Nutmeg.
  2. Gud affernuun frendz. itt haz bin a boring day az we hav KNOT gon enneewayre so far. Mum gotta rumblee tum agen butt say we myte gotta short waak inna littul wyle. She myte hav to go owt tunyte to reeleese a young bat that she kollekt. layte lasst nyte. Wiv luck it’s Mum will kum and fynd it iffn thay kan get it bak owt kwik kwik. She kollekt two littul bats yesserday. injoy yur kampung Abby and Tiny and yu havva gud tyme too Miss. Sherrie. Thatta wurree fower yur Mum and Dad Laila! oh, I fink Mum putting hur shoos on, gotta go, Nutmeg.
  3. Mam, we ar sooo sorree that yur Ruby hadda leeve yu. We send likkee kissis to yu and Pap. Chancey and Nutmeg and luv frum Mum.
  4. I kept the name Chancey because it was a bit different and easy to say. Nutmeg is a lurcher found wandering loose and had been named Meg at the rescue kennels. I don’t like human names for my dogs but didn’t want to confuse her with another new name so added to it and she became Nutmeg. As a dark brindle it seems to suit her.
  5. Beelaytid Ha Pee Birfday Miss. Chris. i will say Gud nyte to yu butt the sunne iz shining heer in Reel Engaland. Nutmeg.
  6. There’s a song about that, now, everybody join in........ I know an old lady who swallowed a fly...etc. etc.
  7. Gud affernuun frendz. We met a reel Podenco at ower trayning klass lasst nyte, she kum frum Spayne and waz dumped inna dustbin (KNOT ower Dustbin) on Boxing Day 2017 at four weeks owld. Hur owns looked afta hur evva sintse. She look lyke a hairy fawn terrorist wiv eersies lyke a Powderpuff hairless dog. Smaller than me but veree sweet and noysee. Hotanhoomid heer tuday. Kongrachulayshuns Doktor Michelle! Mum gonna go luk afta them bats agen this eevning butt I xspekt we will getta treet wen she leeve. Mum hadda go shopping tuday fower odour remover spray. She waz KNOT happee wiv Chancey yesserday and tuday ‘cos she bin eeting the Fezzint Tail Grass inna bak gaardin and yesserday she frew op a hyooge clump ov it onna living room karpit and tuday she frew up bile ova the spensive nyoo settee seat kushons and yesserday on ower waak Mum had to pull looong strands frum Chancey’s bum wen she needed to poop! Sorree yesserday waznn’t playne sayling Miss. C.A. but yu will get froo it OKay and I xpekt Rob and Sarah will be jellus ‘cos yu gotta nyse howse neer frendz and thay still KNOT settled afta awl this tyme! Wagz to awl ower frendz, keep on keeping on Nigel and JJ. Nutmeg.
  8. Mum say I gotta tell yu awl that a Sloworm izza reptile, KNOT a wigglee wurm . Thay kan loose thayre tayl lyke a lizzerd iffn kawt butt Mum akksldentallee slice this wun she fink. we gowing to trayning klass this eevning. Wagz to awl ower frendz, Nutmeg.
  9. Gud neerlee luntch tyme to awl ower frendz. Mum haz kum in frum the gaardin and iz sitting heer awl stressy ‘cos she fink she akksidentallee chopped a slow warm in peesis! She trying to get rid ov ants inna kompost bin and furst skwash it down, then start to turn it awl ova wiv the spayed and a slow worm wriggle away and she fink she kut him up! Xsiting dayz fower Miss. C.A.! Ar yu lukking forwerd to yur nyoo howme Nikita? Spirit yu obveeyusslee need to go to luntch wiv Miss. Loosee and hur Guest to keep everee wun relaxed! Hi Charlie and. Zorro. Luntch tyme now, Wagz, Nutmeg.
  10. I fink sumwun’s gottid the ring ideeya abowt ower Mum’s gaardning, she growing orindge beegonyas in the pots owt thayre. Itt illegal to grow ‘pot’ in Reel Engaland. She bin bizzee wiv them bats agen, toolebenty calls so far tuday and, as it happin, she know boff peepul froo Missr. R. and myoosic. The furst waz wun ov the barbershop quartet members inna Rex Players and the uvver wun waz wun ov hiz banjo styoodints abowt ten yeerz ago hoo hadda giv upp bekos ov that Arfuritis fella in hiz hands. Iffn that Bat OK she kood we’ll release it bak ware it kayme frum tunyte. Sumwun fownd it waaking akross thayre bedruum floor this morning! She waz gonna vizzit the kare howme tuday but go involved wiv the bats but she fone to fynd how he doing and waz towld that wen thay got him owt ov bed to chaynge it to a wun and he sat inna wheelie chaynge he just push himself upp and stand. He waz wobblee so thay mayke him sit down agen kwik kwik then wen they try to get him to moove bak inna seat he posh himself up wiv hiz hands and moove bak. Wen she try to get him to do that lasst yeer he had no ideeya how to! He ettid hiz full Englis brekkulfust this morning too. She say this story gonna run and run! Sowndz lyke Miss. Sherrie iz going onna rode trip wivvowt yu Abby. Watta swizz! Wagz to awl ower frendz, Nutmeg.
  11. Gud morning frendz. We ar looking forwerd to meeting Pandora next munf! Merc, yu still gotta fyew mor States to poop on yet butt thatsa owstanding rekkord so far! Belaytid Ha Pee Birfday wishis to Bikini and Nigel. Howp yu gots sum water wings Ivy and Beka. Feel betta suun Miss. Vanessa. Mum looked afta bats yesserday eevning. She gotta go water the pot plants inna gaardin be4 the sun getting on them, then hav hur brekkulfust. awagz to awl ower frendz, Nutmeg.
  12. Doing reel gud Merc! How many States have yu skored awl together now? It iz hothothot agen tuday. We did KNOT go to ower howndee waak yesserday bekos I still on short waaks. We wentid to see Missr. R’s bruv & s-I-l in thayre motahowme ‘cos thay stay atta campsite upp inna forrist. Missr. R. being sent bak to his kare howme tuday, Mum gonna go see him tumorro. She haz KNOT seen him fower a week ‘cos she had the rumblee tum and kood KNOT go intu the horse piddul. The fambilee bin vizziting so he KNOT bin leftid alown. It sownd lyke he getting a bit betta sum dayz but being a nyoosintse a lotta the tyme. Mum wonder iffn he will rekkonize hiz room atta kare howme. On Satonday we wentid to luntch atta pub wiv bruv & s-I-l butt we did KNOT get enneefing to eet. Watta swizz! Mum going owt to luntch agen tuday be4 thay go howme tumorro. I yam loosing mor fur frum mi syde butt Mum fink it luk lyke it heeling upp OKay. Gud luk on Fryingday Miss. Michelle, yu sok it to ‘em! wagz to awl ower frendz, Nutmeg.
  13. Crikey Susan, your house is only twelve years old (I think that’s what you said) and you don’t have mains sewerage on an estate? They probably wouldn’t be allowed to build an estate over here without a proper sewage and drainage system! Individual houses out in the sticks might not be linked up and have to have a septic tank but a whole estate!!!! I thought the States was supposed to be the most advanced Country in the world. M”E”C Hush Mum. I gots stair rods Kreme to rub on mi bad skin and we gotta go bak agen next Windysday. Mum bin towld that Missr. R. myte be going bak to the kare howme on Moneyday. it hotanmuggy heer tuday. Mum howpe it OKay weather tumorro ‘cos it the kidlets’ Sokol summer feet and Zac gonna be singing wiv hiz klass so she gotta go. Keep up the gud wurk Merc. WGz to awl ower frendz, Nutmeg
  14. Yu shur hadda wundafull tyme. Ha Pee Birfday gurlz. Wagz frum Chancey and Nutmeg.
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