I would reach out to your ex if you have evaluated his quality of life and it’s still good. Sometimes we need to ask hard questions, such as what are you waiting for? I’d also be concerned about the amount of pain meds and if he is truly out of pain.
Perhaps you need someone to come in and take him out for you to give yourself a break. You obviously love him dearly, but it sounds like neither of you have a good quality of life right now. Hope you can find some answers.