Returning A Dog... (A Note To Prospective Adopters)

[Guest Big_Bad_Jon]

I just posted this on a reddit forum, but thought I should share in case somebody in my shoes is looking around for similar info.

 

The original Reddit post was: Is adopting a greyhound as a single person a good idea?

 

 

My response (below) is in regards to adopting a Grey in NYC. In spite of all my research before adopting, I somehow only seemed to get the "good news" and ended up learning about the unique concerns of greyhounds only after he was in my house. That being said, we bonded very well, and I am sad to see him go. It's just there were some things that were not compatible with my life.

 

 

reddit post:

 

 

I am single, and I've had a greyhound for three weeks as of today. ...And I'm returning him today.

 

The first dog I ever had was a pitbull several years ago. Obviously a totally different dog, but I thought that experience had prepared me for just about any other breed since pits are a bit needy, and also very high energy and in need of a lot of control.

I did what I thought was a good amount of research upfront, but what I've learned is there are a lot of questions that I didn't even know to ask, and now that I've had a grey I'm doing a lot of Internet searching as issues arise, as a lot of the greyhound owners here have expressed.

From what I've learned, the dog that I got doesn't even have the worst of the issues that a lot of people have experienced with their dogs. He does have anxiety problems, and he does freeze up on walks, but with some concerted effort, we've been generally able to go outside and go to dog parks. He's OK around other dogs, but he still seems very sad and doesn't really play with them or play with me. Fortunately, he doesn't have any indoor accidents, except he won't go poop in the rain, even a light misty rain. It rained all day yesterday, so we took many trips outside just in case he might actually have the courage to do it. He finally pooped at about 11 at night, but I was afraid all day that he might let go in the house.

This is the first time I have ever really noticed a worried expression on a dog's face, which is really sad since dogs are generally assumed to be happy go lucky. I'm not hard on him at all. I definitely never strike him or anything like that. He is very sweet, and I am very kind back to him, saying "no" only as strongly as needed, and using a ton of positive reinforcement.

I even hired a very good dog trainer specifically for greyhounds. She was amazing and actually taught me some great stuff, but I made sure to ask her about her dog given that she was really good with the breed. What she told me surprised me, because it looks like she had more issues with her dog than I did mine.

It's true that this breed is often spooked by all sorts of random things. Mine totally freaked out over an umbrella. Dark skinned people and trucks really freaked him out too, which is both embarrassing and annoying. (fortunately his racism is beginning to go away.)

He is a lot like a big cat, as people have said. He's not affectionate, and in my case he doesn't come sit on my lap, or sit close to me, or do anything that normal dogs do. I wouldn't consider him "a fun dog". But I would say I could tell that we are developing a bond and eventually he would become a great companion.

But what I never ran into in my initial research was that it usually takes a really long time for a strong sense of trust to develop. The greyhound trainer told me that their personalities will change over time, like at the three-month mark, the six-month mark, and at one year. This would be great if I could stick it out, but the reality is I'm a pretty busy person, and while I was prepared to deal with regular dog issues, the additional stuff that has come out of the woodwork is too much for me to handle.

And everyone will tell you just to stick it out and be patient, which you will try to do. There is some truth to that, because there's always an adjustment period with a new dog, but I feel like most of the adjusting is being done by me. I didn't realize how their track experience emotionally beats greyhounds around. They take longer to adjust than other dogs. Maybe a lot longer.

I have come out of this experience with the belief that greyhounds would be much better suited for a couple, probably without kids (since some greyhounds are freaked out by children) who would be into taking time to help their pet work through its psychological issues.

tl;dr: After three weeks I feel kind of run down from lack of sleep and stress. I'm giving him back.

[sarabz]

Depends on the dog and person. Our first Grey walked into our midtown Manhattan apartment, fell asleep and took everything thereafter in stride.

[Time4ANap]

It all depends on the dog. Your adoption group did you a huge dis-service if they didn't require you to read certain materials that cover most of these issues before adopting, There are several very good books about adopting a greyhound that would have covered all of this, and are required reading by most groups before they will accept an application.

 

These dogs have never been around a home environment, out on public streets or had to socially engage with every day life prior to coming off the track. Everything you expose them to in home life is brand new to them. Think of it as you living in New York your whole life, and waking up in the streets of North Korea one morning. It's a major life adjustment for the dog.

 

The greyhound you adopted will be an entirely different dog a year from now, and would have probably been your best friend. It appears that a working dog who has never been a pet is not what you were expecting or looking for. There is no shame in returning him, and I'm glad you made the decision that he wasn't working out for what you wanted in a pet early-on. You would have both ended up being miserable given that you wanted an instant pet, and the hound has no way to deliver on that while he learns what life in a home is all about.

[kamsmom]

I'm so sorry that your experience was not good.

 

However, I have to disagree with your post. Every dog is different as well as every family. To make a blanket statement that greys would be better with a couple and no kids? Crazy. Every dog is different. Some thrive being an only dog and a single owner. Others are social butterflies.

 

You had your dog for three weeks. In my opinion that wasn't near enough time for either of you to have gotten to know each other.

 

Good luck in the future whether that includes having a greyhound or not.

[Brandiandwe]

Interesting that all the things that you don't like and the 'problems' and 'psychological issues' are pretty easy to find. In fact, some of them are in the breed standard, or recognised as sighthound traits. Probably for the best to return him. Good luck finding an Insta-pet.

[JohnF]

I do understand where you're coming from because I needed to return one which I was pretty sure was viewing little local white fluffy dogs as 'prey'. It can hurt like a bereavement to send them back even though, in this instance, within a week that dog had found her forever home.

 

Most greys though aren't 'good to go' into the home enviroment without about 3-6 months of bedding-in. It's not that the track treats them roughly, it's because that is the only life they've ever known and, having been brought up in a group, may not find it easy to be an only dog in a single person hoursehold. If they're already clean in their kennel then house-training should be the least of any problems. It's like the dog landed on Mars where they only speak Mariian, not greyhoundese.

 

So you are to be commended for trying your best to offer a home to a grey and for being honest as to why it disd't work out. Also returning after 3-weeks won't have harmed the dog too emotionally as it will have been like a short forstering expereince. You could have stuck it out for 3 months and still not really got where you wanted to be.

 

Bounces are part of the rehoming scene and while adoption groups do their best to avoid it happening, by the sheer law of averages it is going to happen occasionally.

Edited May 14, 2017 by JohnF

[robinw]

It can take a while to get used to greyhounds when you're used to other kinds of dogs.

 

I've lived with three greyhounds and two galgos, and I love alone. The first greyhound was difficult due to the same "traits" that you described. I had the luxury of patience and a sense of humour. He eventually learned how to play with toys, but he was never like the pit bull or lab mixes I had lived with. That was ok because I done my research and I reached out to greyhound boards.

 

I'm sorry you had a bad experience.

[Houndtime]

I think three weeks is hardly enough time, with any breed, to assess their personality or nature. You have taken in an adult dog, which is entirely different from adopting a pup. This is really not the place to state your disparaging remarks about greyhounds, on this list, where we love the breed.

 

All dogs are different. Mine have loved kids. I had one that was afraid of garbage cans and have had a few that were bomb proof. I had one thunderphobic and the rest could sleep thru storms. I had one that was afraid of men in baseball hats and paper garbage bags. Oh, wait, that was our beagle.

 

Just like people, all dogs have unique and different personalities.

 

I am sorry that you didn't not have the patience to discover your dog's (personality). it is most likely for the best that you have returned him. I am sorry that it didn't work out for you.

[MaryJane]

Maybe this is just not a good time for you to adopt any dog.

 

 

edited -- typo

Edited May 14, 2017 by MaryJane

[Roo]

A greyhound was the dog who got me over my fear of dogs as a kid. He was great. He was aloof, but he was loving. He was perfect, even with his anxiety. His anxiety all stemmed from being abandoned by his previous home - his track experience was fine (in face, he was well-loved, and they called him Friendly), it was the adopters who messed him up.

 

Greys are wonderful dogs. They're not for everyone (definitely sounds like they're not for you) but each grey is different and there is a grey out there for almost anyone.

 

I had one for 6 months before I returned him. He wasn't happy as an only, and I could barely afford him so adding a buddy wasn't possible. But I gave him enough time to settle and adjust, and he had settled in quite well and we bonded, but as he showed more of his personality, it became obvious that he needed a greyhound friend.

 

I have a terrier now, and she took longer to adjust than my greyhound did! She's older, true, but she didn't really show me her personality till she'd been with me almost a year. She wouldn't play, she didn't want to be outside, everything startled her... She's much better now, but it's because I had her the time to settle, and I gave myself the time to adjust.

[Neighsayer]

I'm sorry that you adopted before you were ready to work on building a relationship with a greyhound. As already stated, those are not hidden traits in the breed. Please give yourself time before getting another dog of any breed. It sounds like you were just not ready. Good luck!

[palmettobug]

They don't call it "permanent woe face" for nothing! Comparing Johnny's expressions to my Lab's, you'd think he needed a Prozac! He could have the best day ever, and still sit on his bed looking like he lost his best friend.

[krissy]

Just want to touch on a few points specifically in case anyone comes across this post in future years while doing research on the breed.

 

From what I've learned, the dog that I got doesn't even have the worst of the issues that a lot of people have experienced with their dogs.

 

While it is true that there are some dogs out there that have had a harder time adjusting than your dog did, I don't think it is fair to say "a lot". I have one retired racer of my own who walked into the house and made himself at home. Granted, he was a bounce that had a home for 2 years before us. However, we've also had half a dozen fosters, most of whom walked off a hauler (well, okay, a mini van since our group doesn't have a dog hauler) or an airplane and into our home. The biggest problem we have had in that group is one dog that could not be crated... however she was an angel when left loose with a muzzle on. We have had a variety of personalities in our fosters, but none that were outright spooks, none that froze up on walks. Did we see their full personalities? No, of course not... the longest we had any of these dogs was 3 months for one lurcher, but most were with us for a couple of days to a couple of weeks only.

 

This is the first time I have ever really noticed a worried expression on a dog's face, which is really sad since dogs are generally assumed to be happy go lucky. I'm not hard on him at all. I definitely never strike him or anything like that. He is very sweet, and I am very kind back to him, saying "no" only as strongly as needed, and using a ton of positive reinforcement.

 

This kind of makes me laugh a little. Because I hear all the time about how sad Summit looks. So much so, that when I saw a dog tag at a pet store that read "This IS my happy face" I snapped it up. Greyhounds are built differently from other dogs. The natural position of their ears is thrown back which can make them look a bit woe-be-gone. It has nothing to do with their emotions. It would be like someone saying "Why do you look so sad" and you being like "What do you mean? This is just my face". Like how some people just have constant "resting b!tch face". That's just their face. It's nothing personal. I find it kind of endearing.

 

 

It's true that this breed is often spooked by all sorts of random things. Mine totally freaked out over an umbrella. Dark skinned people and trucks really freaked him out too, which is both embarrassing and annoying. (fortunately his racism is beginning to go away.)

 

This is true of any dog that hasn't been exposed to certain things before. Any random mutt from a shelter can have these same fears. Dogs raised from puppies can have these fears and then some. These are normal things for dogs to be afraid of. Hell, these are normal things for PEOPLE to be afraid of. Ever seen a photo of the first time a child sees Santa? Usually screaming or crying. Santa is TERRIFYING to a young child because he doesn't look normal. I cried the first time as a baby that I met a black man - and yeah my mom was embarrassed, but that's normal. I also disliked the Caucassian woman at my daycare who worse bright coloured, heavy makeup and would cry every time she took me from my mom, but I never kicked up a fuss over the Philipino woman because she looked similar to my Chinese mother. I'm a vet and the number of freaked out dogs I see on a regular basis has absolutely no breed bias.

 

He is a lot like a big cat, as people have said. He's not affectionate, and in my case he doesn't come sit on my lap, or sit close to me, or do anything that normal dogs do. I wouldn't consider him "a fun dog". But I would say I could tell that we are developing a bond and eventually he would become a great companion.

 

It is unfortunate that you didn't realize this in your research, because this isn't a secret. This is a normal greyhound personality. In fact, the greyhound standard lists the personality as "aloof and independent". Most of us on this forum are drawn to this and advertise the fact that they're cat-like. There are different ways to display affection, and sitting in your lap isn't the only way. Some greyhounds DO like to cuddle. I don't have one. In fact, my middle child, Kili, will grumble at you if you move or touch her on the couch or bed. She doesn't even really like being petted when she's on the couch. But she always wants to sit on the couch with us. There will be another couch unoccupied, and she will insist on trying to squeeze herself into a small gap with us. When I arrive home she flies to the door and jumps on me. When I leave she stands at the door hoping I'm taking her with me, and if I don't she stands at the window and watches me leave. These kinds of reactions take time and a relationship though.

 

But what I never ran into in my initial research was that it usually takes a really long time for a strong sense of trust to develop. The greyhound trainer told me that their personalities will change over time, like at the three-month mark, the six-month mark, and at one year. This would be great if I could stick it out, but the reality is I'm a pretty busy person, and while I was prepared to deal with regular dog issues, the additional stuff that has come out of the woodwork is too much for me to handle.

 

Again, it's unfortunate that this didn't turn up in your research. At least on this forum, we're pretty open about it. Most adoption groups are too, and if yours wasn't then they did you a serious disservice.

 

Best of luck going forward. I would recommend that you try fostering-to-adopt in future, regardless of what breed or mix you become interested in. Every breed and every individual dog has quirks and challenges, and sometimes even though you do your research you may still be surprised. You can't really be fully prepared for something you haven't experienced. When we got our first foster greyhound, I seriously worried for the first couple of days that I wasn't cut out to have a dog after 20 some years of desperately wanting one. But he settled in and I adapted and went with the flow. Every subsequent adult dog coming into our home has been a breeze. First time I got a puppy, I almost cried the first night wondering what I had gotten myself into... and I'd already been happily caring for Summit for several years by that time. The second time around with a puppy was way easier... I knew what to expect, I knew what was normal, I knew how to deal with normal problems. Fostering is a good, lower commitment way to test the waters of what you can deal with and what you want.

Edited May 14, 2017 by krissy

[BatterseaBrindl]

^^^^^^

What Kristie said

Oh. And both Nixon and Nigel absolutely love kids. Both of them are Certifed 'Child Friendly' ThwrapynDogs through St John Ambulance.

Nigel spent over an hour in a classroom with six autistic children on Friday morning and didn't bat an eye at their somewhat unusual behaviours.

[FiveRoooooers]

I think that any of the "problems" you encountered with your greyhound could be problems with any kind of dog. Sorry it didn't work out. Greyhounds are awesome dogs.

[Nova]

I'm not completely comfortable adding my own two cents, considering I've only had Dory for a year (come June) but for anyone researching or just looking for peoples experiences, I'll toss them into the pot anyway.

 

Dory was absolutely awful when I first got her.

 

I could honestly say that she was the worst dog that I had ever had the experience of spending time with, she was terrible. She absolutely hated her crate and would scream like a banshee for hours on end. I didn't sleep for the first week, constantly waking up from her whining and taking her outside at 4 in the morning to go to the bathroom. She wasn't potty trained at all, and even if the door was open for her to go outside she would still go in the house. She could pee outside and five minutes after being let back in she would go again on the rug. When I moved for school into an apartment, she started getting zooms and then vomiting all over the carpet. She didn't listen to any commands and refused to learn any basic obedience, no matter what kind of smelly treat I had. She didn't like to cuddle, she didn't like being touched. At one point, she got out of her crate and destroyed my entire bedroom, ripping up pillows and clothes, pooping and peeing on the carpet (and then spreading it everywhere, including my bed and the walls). I couldn't trust her alone, and would have to put her in her crate even when I showered. When we went to dog parks she refused to play with any of the dogs and completely ignored everyone and everything, simply walking the perimeter and sniffing the grass.

 

I was 20 at the time, 21 now, and it was extremely difficult for me to deal with her. I knew in the first few days when the problems started that I wanted to return her for a different grey. In all my research, all three years of it, I had been expecting a dog who would be a) potty trained, if aloof, calm and quiet yet still affectionate and c) would be a great companion. And Dory was none of those things. I wanted what I had been looking for, and she wasn't it.

 

But my family stood by me and held me to the commitment that I had made when I adopted her. They offered advice where they could, and told me to keep trying. To keep working with her. And they told me what many of these awesome people are saying here - 'It takes time. It takes patience. Give her more time.' And Momma never raised no quitter, so I kept trying. Months went by and, while some of those things got better, many of them didn't. We're still working on potty training to this day, and now she's only in her crate when I have to leave the apartment for more than half an hour and she'll happily go in and out. She knows sit, stay, shake, down, and come (but lets be honest, those are only when she really feels like it) and doesn't destroy anything that she knows isn't her toys. Dory is still learning how to cuddle but she'll sleep in the bed with me, and follow me from room to room and curl up next to me on whatever piece of furniture I'm sitting on. And at dog parks?? She has a best friend that she chases the passing buses with, and loves to run around and greet all the people.

 

Are we soul mates? No, I don't think so. We're still forming our bond, but she knows that I'm her person, and I know that she's my dog. And it took months of hard work and tears to get to this point. And I'm really happy that I did because now I have my adorable, awful problem child, who doesn't know how to roach properly, and runs in her sleep, and can't awoo but she'll stare at me when I try, and pouts when there isn't enough room for her on the couch. I wouldn't have learned any of these things if I hadn't given her time.

 

And really, if you're looking at adopting any type of dog, not even a greyhound, you need to be willing to devote time, money, and have a hell of a lot of patience. Any dog could have these kinds of issues. And it's the responsibility of the caretaker to work with them on these issues, to help them and love them, teach them to grow. I'm sorry that you weren't able to devote that kind of time and effort into your boy. I'm glad that you were able to accept that and let him go to a home that could work with him on his issues. I hope that you have more luck with your next dog, if you decide to try again.

 

In my experience, as hard as it was, I'm really glad that I stuck through it, because I got an amazing dog at the end.

 

[PrairieProf]

Cocoa came into a strange house and immediately started throwing toys around. She totally bonded to me by the next morning.

 

You are full of generalizations and woefully uneducated.

 

And pretty much of a giant d*** to come in here and post this as if you are some great truth-teller rather than, oh, asking for advice from the incredibly experienced folks in this forum.

[Hubcitypam]

Wowzer. I'll just say that I was single when over 100 have passed through my living room on the way to adoption in the last 18 years.

 

Every dog, like every person is unique. My first Little Girl and Bella never raced and were shy/spooky and never really got over it. Harley hopped on a hauler two days after his last run at Bluffs, came to TX and never missed a beat. Bucky walked in fresh from the wichita adoption kennel and immediately cockroached. Rex was always standoffish and aloof. He really had little need for people. None of mine ever really played. Rex would play "greyhound fetch", run to the toy that I had thrown and laid down next to it. Buddy was a bounce and the sweetedt dog ever.

 

 

There have been so many fosters - Faith that countersurfed an entire cherry pie in the blink of an eye. Patch who somehow managed to lock himself in my bathroom then destroy it....but it was a good run.

Part other problem may just the be the dangers of the internet. I did ZERO homework in the 90's before I got her. In a way that was sort of a blessing. I taught her how to be a pet and she taught me about greyhounds. It you listen you dog will talk to you.

Edited May 15, 2017 by Hubcitypam

[greysmom]

I will say again, as I said in your first thread asking for help and advice: Your adoption group did a horrible job of matching your living situation and lifestyle to the dog that they gave you. Some dogs are simply NOT cut out to live in the city, at all. Some love to, and some can learn, but some don't, and they shouldn't have to.

 

And again, they should have made sure you understood a greyhound's personality, and explained some of the issues you might face. They did not. They might have offered you some help when you began having trouble, but they also should have been the ones to suggest this placement was not working out.

 

I'm really sorry your such a busy person that you couldn't stick with your boy, but it sounds as if this was a bad idea from the start. Please take the time to really evaluate whether you have the time for a dog before you adopt again.

Edited May 15, 2017 by greysmom

[Guest Clawsandpaws]

Adoption group dropped the ball on this one. When I adopted my boy, they made sure to explain to me and my ex that greyhounds "are different." my ex wanted a happy go lucky lap dog (pug) to cuddle with at all times. I wanted a large cat that would bark. As I started to volunteer for the group after my guys adoption, I felt like I could instantly sniff out people like you. The "oh yea, that's what I want!"-ers. People who felt like they had to make a purchase because a shopkeeper was following them around the store. It's really disappointing that you bother couldn't see through the facade. Very few resources on the web indicate that greyhounds are the same as golden retrievers.

 

I was a young single-ish person when I adopted my grey. I don't regret it for a second

[Batmom]

I'm sorry things didn't work out for you. If you're still considering a dog, you might look to a group that fosters the dogs in a home before adoption and spends some time ferreting out what you want in a dog. Fostering the dog and interviewing you give the group a better idea of the your needs and of the dog's personality and adaptability, which can help match dog to home.

 

As others noted, all dogs are individuals. My first greyhound walked in and barely changed from day one -- confident, happy, fearless, loved everybody large or small, played like a maniac ..... One of my current greyhounds is similar. We have had some with other traits (shyness, fears, other special needs), but we knew that going in and have a household that works well with those things.

[GeorgeofNE]

Your next dog should come from FAO Schwartz. No adjustment period at all! The perfect plug and play dog for the So So busy fellow.

 

Hey, dude? I live alone. I have lived alone through THREE dogs now. No yard, so it's all leash walks, all the time. Rain sleet snow, the whole nine yards, five times a day, for the past 23 years now.

 

I haven't slept past 6 am in 23 years. I have never gone out after work in 23 years. I have never gone on a spontaneous vacation in 23 years. And what have I missed out on? Nothing. Because the trade off is the best companionship for single people you're EVER going to find.

 

Greyhounds are called by some "old souls." They're not spastic retreivers who are going to jump up and play at the drop of a hat, or lick your face. And yes, their personality changes after a while--they've gone from finely tuned professional althetes to pets. That's not easy.

 

Your "research" sounds very sketchy, and you certainly haven't told us, specifically, what you've done to try and aid this dog, so I suggest you return him as soon as possible, and only adopt stuffed dogs in the future.

Edited May 15, 2017 by GeorgeofNE

[3greytjoys]

Quoted from OP: "I feel like most of the adjusting is being done by me"

 

Upon graduating from breeding farm life, imagine 50+/- Greyhounds living in one racing kennel, being let out in a sand-filled turn-out pen to eliminate, and being walked (as part a group of racers) from kennel to race track -- all within an enclosed protected compound. Now, imagine the adjustment for a single Greyhound to suddenly be dropped into a new life filled with the loud, busy city streets of New York. Greyhounds who could handle that environment could require more time and patience to adjust -- as would many other breeds transitioning to a new home, especially dogs reared in a kennel environment.

 

In many decades of being a dog parent (often to multiple dogs concurrently), I consider adopting any dog of any breed somewhat similar to adopting a child. Parents don't get to custom-order a perfect child. Imagine how scary it would feel as a young child to suddenly lose his/her only known family, move to a foreign environment, foreign language, new people, strange loud city, all while being flooded with frightening new experiences on a daily basis. It's stress overload for a child, or a dog. Yes, earning a new dog's trust can take time.

 

Even though professional racing Greyhounds are handled by many people, racers have not yet been provided an opportunity to form lengthy, affectionate relationships with trusted, devoted humans. Racers move from track to track throughout the country. As professional athletes, they haven't yet experienced the joy of playing with toys, etc. Watching their uniquely special gifts unfold are some of the most treasured early moments for devoted adoptive pet parents. Greyhounds are wonderfully respectful, gentle, sensitive dogs. Collectively, all of my Greyhounds (and fosters) have been easier than other breeds. That said, I wouldn't adopt any animal, especially a dog (i.e., pack animal) if I weren't able to provide adequate care, time, understanding, and loads of patience for a pet family member to thrive.

Edited May 15, 2017 by 3greytjoys

[brindlehound]

I was a little concerned when Joy and I moved to Philadelphia. She was used to having trucks, sirens, etc in our old home but not a few feet from her. Busses made her a little nervous but she adapted well and is doing fine in the city.

[NeylasMom]

Cocoa came into a strange house and immediately started throwing toys around. She totally bonded to me by the next morning.

 

You are full of generalizations and woefully uneducated.

 

And pretty much of a giant d*** to come in here and post this as if you are some great truth-teller rather than, oh, asking for advice from the incredibly experienced folks in this forum.

I was trying to think of some nice way to respond, but you pretty much nailed it on the head.