Honoring You After You're Gone

[Xan]

I'm down to 2 dogs. One cat. It's almost numbing, the cumulative grief and sense of loss. Brilly, my first greyhound, my blonde bombshell, my old gentleman, was taken by osteo recently, like so many of our greyhounds, in a week. Wabi was swept away by bloat in a matter of hours. Happy was ground down by a hard life and digestive dysfunction over years. Two of my old kitties lived their lives with me, through thick and thin, and are now gone. Before that, there were others, down through the years. You know what I mean. It adds up. It never gets easier with repetition.

 

But, I don't want to remember them in tears! I made Wabi a promise to remember her in joy, as she lived, as she wanted everyone around her to live. It's not easy. Sometimes it's impossible. But that's how I want to honor her, and all my dear departed family.

 

I wrote this poem when I was trying to work this out, and I want to share it here in hopes that it might possibly help others find a path through the grief. Please share it if you think someone else might need a loving hand.

 

Happy Thanksgiving, my Greytalk family!

 

 

Honoring You

After you're gone

For now,

I will wash my freshly wounded heart with tears.

But our lives were shared with a common goal:

To give each other joy.

In the days to come,

will I revoke remembered joy

with sadness?

My lonely heart will cry

that any pleasure

betrays you,

that smiles defile

the sanctity of my pain,

that laughter profanes

the new emptiness that fills me,

that your absence means

all pleasure has ceased.

But, that was not our way.

We had a simple pact,

you and I:

to smile and laugh,

to share even the smallest joys

and every comfort,

to revel in all the humor we found

each day.

To be true to you,

my beloved,

to honor you,

I must choose the happiness you wished me to have.

When I think of you,

I will smile.

When my arms ache for the warmth of you,

I will reach for a friend,

and share the love you taught me.

This way, the space you leave in my heart

will fill with light,

not darkness.

This way,

I will honor you.

This way,

I will always have

the real you

here, with me.

Thank you

for being part of me.

_____________________________

~Xan Blackburn, 2013

[MachosMom]

This is very beautiful. Thank you for sharing

[maggiespet]

So beautiful Xan. Thanks so much for sharing. IMO - You've kept your promise to sweet Wabi.

[schultzlc]

 

Lovely, thank you for sharing it with us.

[Guest goofydog]

A lovely poem and tribute for your precious lost souls Xan. Thank you for sharing it with us.

[Guest happygrey]

So beautiful and touching.

[Guest 4rooers]

Thank you for sharing this. Sometimes holidays are hard because there are loved ones no longer here. Your words remind me that I need to remember the love, not the loss.

[BatterseaBrindl]

thanks for that.

 

We too, have lost several family members...dogs, horses, cat, bunnies... over the years and it never gets easier.

[gazehund]

Very nice Xan. There have been many, many stories of special dogs over the years at GT. Wabi's or Sweetness as I remember her has been and always will be, my all time favorite. Our special spotted girls are together now and I miss them both.

[Remolacha]

Thank you, that is beautiful, and I really need it now.

[Cully]

[Jenbo]

Beautiful!

[galgrey]

So beautiful.

[MarcR]

Thank you, Xan

[greytpups]

Xan, I read this before and it still brings me to tears. But it's a lovely poem, and I will never look at dandelions the same way again. Wabi was such a beautiful creature inside and out, and taught us a lot about living in the moment leaving many wonderful memories.

[Xan]

Thank you all for sharing with me. Hugs to you all!

[Guest IrskasMom]

Just Beautiful . Hugs :grouphug

[Batmom]

Thank you, Xan.

[FiveRoooooers]

{Xan} Thank you so much.

[Busderpuddle]

I usually don't come in to this forum because I just can't handle it. Today I did and the 1st thing I read was your beautiful poem. Thank you so much for sharing that with us.

Bless you.

[Finnsliz]

Xan that was beautiful. I was just sitting here reading GT and really feeling the loss of Wink. Reading that poem made me realize that is exactly how she would want me to feel. Thank you

[ZoomDoggy]

Thank you for this.

[Guest lynne893]

Exactly how I'm feeling now, that anything besides the deepest grief is a betrayal. But time will help me feel differently.

 

Thank you for your loving poem, and my condolences to you Xan.

[jenners]

Thank you

 

Jennie