Arrow's Bone Cancer. Need Some Guidance

[cleptogrey]

so sorry to hear about arrow, cancer sucks- it's as simple as that. we used a combo of tramadol/metacam and another drug(don't have the bottle anymore) that started w/ an A. it boost the effects of the combo. at/near the end a good friend who is a vet gave me some Gabapentin- but it was time and of course it was a holiday weekend(i was not going to an evet for euthanisia, i like having my personal vet do the proceedure). i bury my dogs in the yard that they loved, back to their favorite place.

[duncan41]

"The look in Arrow's eyes will tell you all you need to know." This is so true. Concentrate on Arrow, spoil him rotten and go with your gut feeling about when he has had enough. You know him best and if you prepare yourself, talk to him about how you feel, tell him that you will fight for him if that's what he wants, but if he's ready to go, he has to let you know. JMHO

 

So many have been down this road and I am so sorry you have joined us. I will keep you and Arrow in my prayers.

[Guest elliemae421]

I have remained in touch with Seth and the sad news is Arrow has crossed the bridge.

Flowers for you sweet boy Arrow! Now you can run free from your pain!

[tbhounds]

I have remained in touch with Seth and the sad news is Arrow has crossed the bridge.

Flowers for you sweet boy Arrow! Now you can run free from your pain!

Thank you for the update-please pass my condulances. :-(

[Charlies_Dad]

I am very sorry to read of Arrow's passing.

[charbess]

Sincere condolences to Sethbest on Arrow's passing. He is pain free and in God's eternal care. R.I.P.

[FiveRoooooers]

I am so very sorry. Godspeed sweet boy.

[Guest elliemae421]

He crossed the bridge yesterday 8/30/13! I will try and talk to him later today or hopefully this weekend.

[greytpups]

I am so sorry to hear this.

[Guest elliemae421]

Thanks guys,I'm sure he will appreciate this!

Thank you for the update-please pass my condulances. :-(

I will do that!

[dante2zoe]

I am so very sorry to hear of Arrow's passing. Please send my condolences. Too many of us understand how he is feeling.

[maryz]

Please add my condolences too. Godspeed, Arrow.

[Guest elliemae421]

Thanks to all for the condolences to Seth,Arrow and Seth's girlfriend too! He sent me a very brief message hoping Willie is okay and he really just can't talk about Arrow yet.

I so respect him on that,some can and feel better and some do not want to talk and they eventually do. I did share some greyt recipes with him for Arrow as somebody in my area had a non greyhound that he found dumped on the side of the road he took her in. Her leg appeared to be fractured and then they found a tumor and they amputated Sammy's right front leg and she is doing wonderful.

But he shared the recipes with me when he found out about Willie having cancer and I decided to share them with Seth and Arrow!

It is never easy losing one of our pups that show us unconditional love no matter what we do or they do they still love us through thick and thin and I think some of us are more sensitive than others in many different ways..no 2 are the same! I know I am a mess over Willie and hearing of Seth losing Arrow just crushed me last night,only guessing how that young man and his girlfriend loved that dog and what he was going through to keep him happy and pain free.

I laid in bed with Willie and no t.v. but a little light from a night light I could see him looking at me because I was crying and he kept hitting me with his paw as to console like saying it will be alright. But no it won't some day, I will have to say good bye to my best friend and it hurts so bad just thinking of him not snuggling on the bed. He always no matter what, has a foot or something against my leg making sure I am there.

The other day I woke up sleeping on my back and could not move,dear Willie had his front paws and head across my shin area of my legs! They were numb but I did not care,it was so cute to see him resting his head across my legs!

Another friend of mine lost her grey so fast she really never got to spend anytime with her,just a day or two. She crossed the bridge same day Arrow did!

So please remember Seth did what he thought was best for Arrow as I am doing for Willie .

There are many protocols and he did for Arrow as he thought was best! I look at it this way,he tried his best,there are so many that would have turned away and did nothing and had their pet euthanized.

I have people question me about Willie,why go through so much trouble,etc! Because it is my choice,Willie seems happy,he plays he eats,he poops normal,jumps on my bed and guards me at night. when he quits doing these things then I have to consider my options! So I hope Willie keeps rocking on! We go to Ohio State this Tuesday for his second 1 month check up! Fingers,toes and eyes crossed! For the hounds cross your paws please!

 

Seth you are an amazing person for all that you did for Arrow,you did all that you could for him and never have any regrets!

Edited September 1, 2013 by elliemae421

[GreyPoopon]

I'm so sorry about Arrow.

[MP_the4pack]

Please give Seth my utmost sincere condolences to the loss of his sweet Arrow.

 

[macoduck]

Seth, I have added Arrow's name to the list of Bridge Angels for August in the Remembrance section.

Arrow will be in good company there.

[Houndtime]

I am so sorry to read of Arrow's passing.

[Guest sethbest]

I am still not ready to talk about all of this, but I feel like my hand was forced by Elliemae. I know you mean well but when I said I am not ready to talk about it I do not appreciate finding out that you have shared this information in my place. Just the same I wish you only good things, and hope for the best with Willies treatments.

 

I was actually not planning on posting back here after the bullying I received here either but there were many more helpful and caring posts than rude pushy ones so for all of these wonderful people I will convey these events.

 

First of all, Thank you soo much everybody who shared their condolences and well wishes for Arrow and myself. I am numb with shock still, and emotionally raw and brittle so I may not be able to eloquently or delicately explain what happened.

 

First off since I stopped posting on here Arrow had many good days, and a few bad. My vet, a wonderful and caring professional, prescribed two giant bottles of gabapentin. From the urgings of members of this board I immediately began the incrementally increasing dose of gabapentin to begin titrating up to useful levels. Unfortunately Arrow responded awfully to this medicine. He became incredibly lethargic and had difficulty walking. Arrow has always been a kicky dog, you could simply pet him lightly on his back and he would bicycle kick like crazy. This medicine stopped this oddly enough, which wasn't a problem, but a bigger issue was that his rear legs which had occasional weakness began to barely function.

 

I kept him on the gabapentin for two days and these symptoms only got worse. I had already covered all the wood flooring in the house with carpet patches in case he had weakness issues with his rear legs, a forethought for which I am incredibly grateful. He was slipping even with the grip of the carpet. I removed the gabapentin from his regime and he immediately improved. His big grin was back and he was steady on his legs again.

 

After a few days I started him back up on a reduced dose, but while the lethargy symptoms decreased the rear legs issues were just as bad. It was as if he could not move them independently at the time. I ended up only using the gabapentin at night after this. It would let him sleep soundly and restfully but wore off by around 11am or 12 so that he could walk normally and get back to his happy self.

 

A few days before Arrow's passing he started limping more pronouncedly, the shoulder was clearly getting worse. Because of this on the first relatively cool and non-raining day that I could I insisted that my girlfriend drive us to his favorite park. I used to be able drive Arrow alone, but now with his bad leg I needed to sit with him to make sure he didn't get up and try to balance with that arm. My girlfriend has been suffering from intense panic attacks ever since Arrows' diagnosis, and taking care of her has almost drained me as much as caring for him, but I managed to convince her. I knew somewhere in me that if I didn't take him I would regret it.

 

He had a wonderful time at the park. It's his favorite, the one I used to take him to daily for hours when I first got him. He would chase the other dogs in the dog section, and lay in the grass staring at the lake when he got tired. This time it was strenuous for him, but he looked happier than I'd seen him in weeks, and that's saying something considering the big grins he was getting for his organic chicken and eggs, and all the other good treats. He even tried to drag me over to the giant ducks to sniff them, and had a bunch of good social sniffs with passing dogs. We sat in the grass a bit, but he was clearly getting tired very quickly. I took him into the dog park for a bit to sniff around and get some water, and then back to the car while trying to assuage my girlfriends' latest panic attack. A storm was on the horizon and she was certain we'd be hit by lightning (I am not criticizing her, I understand panic attacks are uncontrollable, just conveying the difficulty of this outing).

 

We got him home after a very tense drive where he kept standing up in the car and she'd freak out and pull over. When we got home he came in and plopped down grinning like crazy and fell asleep soundly. The rest of the night he was fine and happy. He ate probably 3 full bowls of his organic chicken and took all his medicine without complaint.

 

The next day he was limping very badly. I increased his tramadol up to 11x 50mg over the day, approaching the maximum for his weight from all the research I could find. This seemed to help but he was still having occasional spikes where he'd grumble and roll around until he got the arm in just the right position before going back to sleep. We didn't take him out this day, thinking his arm needed the rest.

 

The next day he couldn't even put weight on the leg and was hopping around with just the good one. By the night he wasn't getting up at all. I was incredibly worried, but hot compress and then ice packs actaully helped tremendously to reduce his discomfort and he was actually able to limp around a bit to get up and go outside for a bit and to go back and forth from couch to couch as he saw fit.

 

The next day even that wasn't helping. I talked to a few vets about potential procedures. I even in my desperation considered amputation, despite my previous decision that it wasn't appropriate considering his age and other leg issues. Eventually I collapsed beneath the weight of what I knew was to come and called my vet to schedule euthanasia. He said he would come by after his last appointment. Note that his office doesn't always do at home euthanasia but he cares deeply for dogs and has been very helpful and supportive every step of the way. This gave us several hours with him. I iced and heated the leg, he got up a few times, and would go on the porch for me to brush him (he always loves being brushed) but wouldn't go out into the grass or go to the bathroom. We got him steak and cheese burgers to gorge on, and chicken fingers. He devoured them but through the day became more and more despondent. My mother came by and read The Little Prince to him (I have the most wonderful mother) and we all told stories about him and wept, but I forced myself to smile for him and only tell him happy things.

 

I told him of how we first met, and how much I loved him. How thankful I was that he had spent his years with me and how perfect he was. I told him of the freedom that awaited him, like the front gate he loved to escape through when people left open. The vet came and while he performed the injections I reiterated this all I could with a happy voice. I hugged him and held him and told him about the open door and the open gate and that he could just keep running as much as he wanted now. There would be no more pain and no more fear, he wouldn't get tired or sore, hot or cold. He could just go as far as he wanted and I would stay with him forever.

 

Then he was gone. I asked the vet to let me help carry him to the truck, where a soft dog bed awaited him to take him away. I held it all in until they drove away and then I broke.

 

I laid upon the mattress where we said goodbye until the evening. Family members came by to support me but I could not hear them. The night passed with my girlfriend and I recounting all the happy and funny stories we had of my good boy.

 

The next day one of the cats laid where he passed all day long. He wouldn't move from the spot. Our little dog biscuit who had just had surgery two weeks ago for swallowing a steak bone, looked fine and happy but then would go lay in a corner and whine. When the cat got up in the evening biscuit laid in his place.

 

The last day there was more wrong with Arrow than his arm though. He was clearly starting to have other issues. His appetite decreased and he would only drink small amounts of water. He clearly was having other problems, he was panting constantly in his last hour or two, and not just pain panting. He was clearly having trouble breathing.

 

I knew it was time when I saw the fearful and confused look in his eyes that day. I knew if I tried to drag him on further it would be for me, not him. All this time I was worried I wouldn't know when it was time, but it couldn't have been clearer.

 

I am incredibly thankful for all the time I had with him in his last month. We had some of our happiest moments. The cat would cuddle with him, which he had never done before, and Arrow would come over and lick our faces if we cried. He'd hop up on the couch and lay his head on our laps, and there was always somebody sitting with him.

 

The hardest part at the end wasn't even the letting go. It was the incongruity of it all. I spent so many years caring for him and protecting him but the last act I could do for him was to end his life. He looked nervous right at the end, when the vet came in and started preparing the injections, as if he knew. This look haunted me, and still does. I know it was the right time, I know I did everything right, but that doesn't make it any better or easier.

 

I was waking up every 3 hours at night to give him his medicine, and even before the diagnosis I would wake up instantly when I'd hear his collar jingle just to make sure he wasn't having issues with his back legs which might make him fall. Now everytime I hear a jingle or clank I get up and look for him to make sure he's ok, but he's not there. I go to redo his couch pillows so he'll be comfortable but they are unchanged. I go to refill his water bowl but it hasn't been emptied. There is just this gaping hole in my life. Goddamnit do I miss him. It hits me like a ton of bricks every time something reminds me of him, and just about everything does.

 

Thank you everyone for your kind words. It makes me glad to know that he was in your thoughts. I wish everyone got the chance to meet him, he is such a beautiful soul and the world is made a darker place by his absence.

 

The following is a fictional statement and should not be considered literally for any legal purposes: If I could do anything different I'd go lighter on the supplements and probably not even use the Gabapentin. I wasn't going to mention this before in fear of getting banned, but since I don't care now and this might be useful to someone else, marijuana butter alleviated his neuropathic pain as well as the Gabapentin seemed to, without any of the negative side effects. I had researched extensively the use in countries that allowed it, and even low THC hemp has excellent neuropathic treatment effects. He had no dizziness or confusion like I worried about with his initial dose, and the stuff actually made him frisky, rolling around on the full sized mattress I put out for him in the living room, and devouring his food voraciously. I couldn't suggest it any more highly, I only wish I had started him on it sooner.

Edited September 1, 2013 by sethbest

[Batmom]

I'm glad you found some ways to help your friend and sorry that he had to leave you.

 

Godspeed, Arrow.

[macoduck]

You did everything out of your love for Arrow. He was a very lucky boy to have been yours. I have lost many and it never gets any easier. May the pain of his loss gradually fade, but his memory remain with you forever.

[Houndtime]

You were his best friend and you gave him a special gift. You gave him the gift of being at peace, pain free and the chance to run with the wind again. I am so sorry for your loss.

[NeylasMom]

I'm truly sorry for your loss.

[Guest Scouts_mom]

I am so sorry for the loss of Arrow--he has been in my thoughts since you first posted. As Macoduck said, "it never gets easier." I still cry at times for my lost dogs. Cherish your memories of him and know that you gave him a wonderful life.

 

PS I think giving him pot was a wonderful idea. It helps people with cancer--there is no reason it shouldn't help dogs.

Edited September 2, 2013 by Scouts_mom

[MP_the4pack]