robinw Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Please don't beat yourself up. We make the best decisions we can based on the information we have. There are never any guarantees Quote Xavi the galgo and Peter the cat. Missing Iker the galgo ?-Feb.9/19, Treasure (USS Treasure) April 12/01-May 6/13, Phoenix (Hallo Top Son) Dec.14/99-June 4/11 and Loca (Reko Swahili) Oct.9/95 - June 1/09, Allen the boss cat, died late November, 2021, age 19. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygang Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 If only........is a word I used a lot after my Queenie passed. So I understand. Don't blame yourself she had a loving home to the very end. Quote Run free our beloved Sir Snowy, Pip, Queenie, Sadie, Tess & Rosie until we meet again......I would rather feel the thorn than to never see the rose Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OwnedBySummer Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I'm so sorry you and Beanie had to go through something tough. May I suggest what a vet suggested to me regarding my last dog? I couldn't get over my guilt and was still crying at the drop of a hat. So I wrote a letter, several pages long, of love and apology. I inserted photographs and everything. And I also said goodbye (something which I hadn't been able to do in person). I took it to her for her to read, which of course broke her down, too. But it was very cathartic. If I hadn't have been able to share it with the vet, I probably would have burned a copy and wished that it would go to my baby at the Bridge. Quote Lisa B. My beautiful Summer - to her forever home May 1, 2010 Summer Certified therapy dog team with St. John Ambulance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kudzu Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Reading this just tears me up. You can't only do your best. Recently lost my cat to GI lymphoma & his last hours were bad. The last hour was very bad. I was a wreck at the vet when we said goodbye. It didn't get much better for weeks. You can't know when the end will be or how it will go. We can only guess and ... oh, there just are no words for you. You are not to blame. Remember that. Remember the love & the good times. Hang on. Try your best to let go of any guilt. It isn't valid so set it aside. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beledi Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Please forgive yourself. Beanie knows the love you have given. Quote "Then God sent the Greyhound to live among man and remember. And when the day comes God will call the Greyhound to give Testament, and God will pass judgment on man." Persian Proverb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carronstar Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I am so very sorry. As everyone has said, please forgive yourself. Beanie would want that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PatricksMom Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 (edited) I'm so very sorry. Blame is so easy when we lose a loved one and it's easy to beat ourselves up. The amount of guilty I carry that my rational mind knows is unreasonable can be crushing. But try to remember that Beanie loved you and was loved very, very much. Just because we feel responsible doesn't mean we did anything wrong, and it doesn't mean our babies would want us to blame ourselves. Try to be as gentle with yourself as you would be with any of us. Edited March 19, 2013 by PatricksMom Quote Beth, Petey (8 September 2018- ), and Faith (22 March 2019). Godspeed Patrick (28 April 1999 - 5 August 2012), Murphy (23 June 2004 - 27 July 2013), Leo (1 May 2009 - 27 January 2020), and Henry (10 August 2010 - 7 August 2020), you were loved more than you can know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greysmom Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 The love you gave her for all the years easily overcomes an hour of hardship. She would not wish this for you now. Quote Chris - Mom to: Felicity (DeLand), and Andi (Braska Pandora) siggy by Chris Harper, on Flickr Angels: Libby (Everlast), Dorie (Dog Gone Holly), Dude (TNJ VooDoo), Copper (Kid's Copper), Cash (GSI Payncash), Toni (LPH Cry Baby), Whiskey (KT's Phys Ed), Atom, Lilly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MerlinsMum Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Oh Judy :grouphug Quote Kerry with Lupin in beautiful coastal Maine. Missing Pippin, my best friend and sweet little heart-healer 2013-2023 Also missing the best wizard in the world, Merlin, and my sweet 80lb limpet, Sagan, every single day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deboosh Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I'm so sorry you and Beanie had to go through something tough. May I suggest what a vet suggested to me regarding my last dog? I couldn't get over my guilt and was still crying at the drop of a hat. So I wrote a letter, several pages long, of love and apology. I inserted photographs and everything. And I also said goodbye (something which I hadn't been able to do in person). I took it to her for her to read, which of course broke her down, too. But it was very cathartic. If I hadn't have been able to share it with the vet, I probably would have burned a copy and wished that it would go to my baby at the Bridge. What a beautiful, intimate and touching way to say good-bye, Lisa. Through tears, I thank you for sharing this. It brings special meaning to those of us who tend to burden ourselves over that which we have no control. Quote Image removed, not within Signature Guidelines. Forever Home on December 20, 2012Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.My Etsy Shop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remolacha Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I think many of us have been in your shoes. No one is perfect, we do the best we can, but sometimes make the wrong choices. Our animals love us anyway, and we have to learn to forgive ourselves, because they would. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KatyC Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 So sorry for you Try and remember the happ times Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Houndtime Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I am so sad and sorry to read this. You cannot blame yourself, or anyone for circumstances out of your control. Take a deep breath and think about all the good times with your girl. She did. Quote Irene Ullmann w/Flying Odin and Mama Mia in Lower Delaware Angels Brandy, John E, American Idol, Paul, Fuzzy and Shine Handcrafted Greyhound and Custom Clocks http://www.houndtime.com Zoom Doggies-Racing Coats for Racing Greyhounds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Vers Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Please be more gentle with yourself. Please? The very first thing most of us do after the loss of that final decision is second-guess ourselves in so many ways. You need to know you did the very best you could for Beanie. None of us can see the future, not a day or even an hour ahead. You did the very best you could with the information you had, and my heart hurts that the situation got so painful for both of you. But that's NOT your fault. Wishing peace to your heart. Beanie knew she was loved and in good hands every moment she was with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rickiesmom Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Judy no one is more caring. Whatever happened, you couldn't have known, and whatever it was is over, and Beanie is at peace. Please forgive yourself. I am going to light a candle for your sweetheart right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesiRayMom Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 If each of us had a dollar for every "shoulda" "coulda" "woulda" we've said to ourselves over decisions made, we'd all be very wealthy. We can only do what we think best at the time. Beanie loves you ....... always and forever.......no matter what. Praying that she will give you a sign that she is fine, and wants you to be, too. Quote Blessed is the person who has earned the love of an old dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest june Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I am so sorry for everything you are going through. Just know that all of us here care. Whatever you experienced could happen to any of us. It is because we love so much that it hurts so much. Please be gentle with yourself. I'll be keeping you in my prayers. june Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EllenEveBaz Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Just Quote Ellen, with brindle Milo and the blonde ballerina, Gelsey remembering Eve, Baz, Scout, Romie, Nutmeg, and Jeter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwiggysMom Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I am so very sorry for your loss, pain, and the guilt you feel. We all know how deeply you loved Beanie, and Beanie knew that best of all. With healing thoughts for you... Quote Wendy with Twiggy, fosterless while Twiggy's fighting the good fight, and Donnie & Aiden the kitties Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest IrskasMom Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 How are you coping today? Thinking of you :grouphug Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DeniseL Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Im so very sorry for your loss. I had tremendous guilt and pain when I let Maya go. I could never forgive myself for the decisions I made. I questioned everything I did. I was inconsolable for days. My husband said something to me that helped tremendously. He said, 'Denise, every single decision you have made for the last 15 years have been what would be best for Maya. EVERY decision was for her and her welfare. Why would you doubt yourself now?' And you know what? He was right. Every decision we make is for them. Every decision is made with love. We think it is selfish, but it is far, far from it. The love we have for them is the most unselfish love we have. I believe that. We make the best decision we can in the situation we are in. Over time the guilt will dissipate. Only love is real. And only love will remain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4My2Greys Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 The problem is I didn't let her go when I should have that previous Thursday morning. I just had to try one more chemotherapy drug before I set her free. Because of that she died a death so horrible few of you could imagine. By the time I made the 45 minute drive with her to the e-vet she was out of her mind from the pain. Ironically that drug that I wanted to try arrived that next morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
galgrey Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Quote Cynthia, & Cristiano, galgoAlways in my heart: Frostman Newdawn Frost, Keno Jet Action & Chloe (NGA racing name unknown), Irys (galgo), Hannah (weim), Cruz (galgo), & Carly CW Your Charming Princess http://www.greyhound-data.com/d?i=1018857 "It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life, gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are." -- Unknown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PatricksMom Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 (edited) Patrick, my heart dog, went through everything, neuroconsults, drugs, home cooking, everything. And he seemed to be recovering, at least enough I could live with it, he seemed happy. And many know how he ended--probably throwing a blood clot in the brain, thrown in the back of some kind strangers car, next I persuaded a utterly uninformed evet, that we had to let him go. Suffering and confused and scared. DH couldn't make the call, I had to do it alone, tell the evet to kill my dog. I held him while he passed on. I failed my dog. I can't forgive myself, I can't forgive DH for making me make the decision because he couldn't. Everything sucked, but in reality I didn't have another choice. Since then I've lost all of my babies and I haven't had a choice, other than to blame myself for moving to SC, where vet care is sorely lacking. The point is, we all do the best we can, we all base our decisions on the information we have at the time. We all love our babies more than words can express. I can't stop crying, I can't stop blaming myself. It's not right, I don't deserve to feel the way I feel, any reasonable person would move on, but I can't. Anyway, I tell you this to tell you that there are no easy answers, none of us can see the future. i understand your anguish, I understand the constant blame and second guessing, and hating yourself. But try, try, try as hard as you can to know that Beannie loved you and that you love her. Trust that you always tried to do the best by her. Trust that you would never treat one of us as harshly as you're treating yourself. Try to treat yourself as gently as you would treat any other GTer. Beanie loved you, still loves you. Try to hang onto that. Edited March 22, 2013 by PatricksMom Quote Beth, Petey (8 September 2018- ), and Faith (22 March 2019). Godspeed Patrick (28 April 1999 - 5 August 2012), Murphy (23 June 2004 - 27 July 2013), Leo (1 May 2009 - 27 January 2020), and Henry (10 August 2010 - 7 August 2020), you were loved more than you can know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dmt Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Please forgive yourself. Beanie knew how much you loved her. I am so sorry that this has happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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