Guest asianpeanut Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 My beloved baby Baker crossed the rainbow bridge on Sunday morning and I am beside myself with grief. I have never experienced so much sadness in my whole life and I miss him so terribly. I have never gone through anything like this before and it just seems like I will never stop crying. Baker had been doing incredibly well for about 4 months on essentially just a Chinese herbal formula (after being diagnosed with osteosarcoma). He had essentially no symptoms for months. But then last week he went downhill fast and just got worse and worse till he could barely move and go outside to go to the bathroom. On Saturday night when he could barely come inside on his own I decided to have him euthanized as soon as possible. I had the vet come out to the house on Sunday morning and had him put to sleep on his beloved couch exactly the way he would have wanted it:). He went very peacefully and the vet said he was definately ready to go. However, I don't know why I feel so much guilt, I don't even know over what. I did everything I could for him. I guess it's just hard making that decision to put him to sleep. And I can't forget the images of his lifeless body. I can't stand being in my house without him here and I just miss him so much. Any advice as to how to get through this difficult time would be very helpful. I just feel like this will never end! Thanks so much everyone for your help and support:) Jennifer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieProf Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 I am sorry for your loss. I just had to make that decision for my cat Carey yesterday, so my feelings as well as my thoughts are with you. Quote With Cocoa (DC Chocolatedrop), missing B for Beth (2006-2015)And kitties C.J., Klara, Bernadette, John-Boy, & Sinbad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PiagetsMom Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 I'm so very sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remolacha Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 I am so sorry The guilt is not rational, you know you did everything possible for him, but you can't help feeling there should have been something else you could have done, or he would still be here. It is a cliche, but time is really the only thing that helps. Eventually, you will be able to remember the good times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest iconsmum Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 just cry...it's about all you can do for yourself for a while. If it's any help, for sure there are a few of us crying with you as we read your grief - I am. At the end of his life, you made it possible for him to fall asleep one last time on his sofa, which was very brave of you and a lovely stress-free thing to do for him...his body may have been lifeless but you ended maybe more pain for him than you could possibly know since he couldn't tell you. Very soon you will feel his spirit right there with you, and that's eternal - you'll never have to face losing it... all our sympathy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BertnLil Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 I'm so sorry for your loss. Quote Pam with Sockem the GH, Birdie the JRT, Osorno the chocolate lab, and Shelby the shepherd mix. Missing Clarice (1991-2007) and Lily (2004-2012), always in our hearts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tydyelady Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 I am so sorry, and I know its so difficult - intellectually knowing you did the right thing, but emotionally always second guessing yourself. Time really is the only thing that will help. Just know that so many of us have gone through this and that you are not alone in your grief. Quote Mom to Toley (Astascocita Toley) DOB 1/12/09, and Bridge Angel Opie (Wine Sips Away) 3/14/03-12/29/12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest asianpeanut Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Thank you all so much for your lovely messages, it feels so good to have all your support and know I am not alone. A million thank yous! Jennifer just cry...it's about all you can do for yourself for a while. If it's any help, for sure there are a few of us crying with you as we read your grief - I am. At the end of his life, you made it possible for him to fall asleep one last time on his sofa, which was very brave of you and a lovely stress-free thing to do for him...his body may have been lifeless but you ended maybe more pain for him than you could possibly know since he couldn't tell you. Very soon you will feel his spirit right there with you, and that's eternal - you'll never have to face losing it... all our sympathy. Thanks so much for your sweet message, it was very comforting:) Hugs, Jennifer I am sorry for your loss. I just had to make that decision for my cat Carey yesterday, so my feelings as well as my thoughts are with you. I am so sorry to hear about your loss as well:). I hope you have a lot of loving support around you:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fliggie Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 I'm so sorry. It is very painful. You aren't alone. Quote My Photojournal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiveRoooooers Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 I'm so sorry to hear about Baker. You are not alone. I was told that missing someone is a way of keeping them with us, even when they are not. I hope you can find some comfort in that. Quote Old Dogs are the Best Dogs. Thank you, campers. Current enrollees: Punkin. AnnIE Oooh M Angels: Pal . Segugio. Sorella (TPGIT). LadyBug. Zeke-aroni. MiMi Sizzle Pants. Gracie. Seamie . (Foster)Sweet. Andy. PaddyALVIN!Mayhem. Bosco. Bruno. Dottie B. Trevor Double-Heart. Bea. Cletus, KLTO. Aiden 1-4. Upon reflection, our lives are often referenced in parts defined by the all-too-short lives of our dogs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robinw Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Jennifer, my heart sank when I saw Baker's name. I'm so very sorry. He was diagnosed around the same time as Phene, and I was so thrilled that he was doing so well. Please don't feel guilty about your decision. Osteo is a every painful disease and Baker would not have recovered. You spared him a great deal of pain. Quote Xavi the galgo and Peter the cat. Missing Iker the galgo ?-Feb.9/19, Treasure (USS Treasure) April 12/01-May 6/13, Phoenix (Hallo Top Son) Dec.14/99-June 4/11 and Loca (Reko Swahili) Oct.9/95 - June 1/09, Allen the boss cat, died late November, 2021, age 19. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dante2zoe Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 I am so very sorry. As others have written before, you took Baker's pain and made it your own. That is one of the biggest gifts that we can give our beloved dogs. Over time, may you feel comfort and peace. Quote Cindy with Miss Fancypants, Paris Bueller, Zeke, and Angus Dante (Dg's Boyd), Zoe (In a While), Brady (Devilish Effect), Goose (BG Shotgun), Maverick (BG ShoMe), Maggie (All Trades Jax), Sherman (LNB Herman Bad) and Indy (BYB whippet) forever in my heart The flame that burns the brightest, burns the fastest and leaves the biggest shadow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlies_Dad Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Jennifer, I am so very sorry for your loss of Baker. I remember when you posted in the Osteo thread when he was first diagnosed. I am heartbroken another pup has been lost to this terrible disease that takes so many. You did well by Baker and did everything you could to give him as much time as possible in as little pain as possible. He knew love right to the end and you gave him the final gift we can give to them, one that is ever so painful for us. I hope in time the pain will subside and you can start to heal and think of all the good times with Baker as that is what he would have wanted. To remember him full of life and happy. Run free Baker, run free sweetie... Quote Kyle with Stewie ('Super C Ledoux, Super C Sampson x Sing It Blondie) and forever missing my three angels, Jack ('Roy Jack', Greys Flambeau x Miss Cobblepot) and Charlie ('CTR Midas Touch', Leo's Midas x Hallo Argentina) and Shelby ('Shari's Hooty', Flying Viper x Shari Carusi) running free across the bridge. Gus an coinnich sinn a'rithist my boys and little girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dragontearz Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 I'm so sorry for your loss-it's hard, I still cry seven months later, but not as much and not as hard, and the grief is slowly being replaced by good memories. It will get better with time...every time I had another wave of sorrow, I'd come here and people would give the online equivalent of a hug or shoulder to lean on, and it helped greatly. :f_red Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozgirl2 Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Hugs... I'm so sorry Baker had to leave you. I think everyone who has to make the decision to help their furry friend to the bridge feels guilty about it. "Was it the right time? Did I take him/her too soon?" and we agonize over it. Please console yourself that you gave an incredible gift to your best friend - a release from pain. Remember that we're all here for you and most of us have gone through this at least once (some on here have been through it more times than I'd like to think about...) You can come & rant, cry, talk about him whenever you need to, where your family & friends might not understand... More hugs Quote Jeannine with Merlin, the crazed tabby cat and his sister, Jasmine, the brat-cat With Angel Cody(Roving Gemini), and Weenie the tortie waiting at the Bridge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
racindog Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 My heart is breaking for you. Just try to hang on and things will get better because you will ultimately discover the extraordinary strength and joy of the love you and Baker shared is still with you. You will be so relieved and happy to discover that it didn't die like his earth suit did but will be with you forever. Love is always more powerful than the pain or death. What you are feeling is totally normal. Just because you feel a feeling or feel a fear don't mean theres any basis too it. It is normal to think whatr ifs and feel guilt but theres no basis for it. Everything you did was motivated by and in love-there was nothing, not one thing, more loving that you could have done for him. You allowed him the dignity to cross over the way he wanted when he wanted. You listened to him and out of the depths of the love you two shared you responded. You know -love like that is something to cherish forever. Just hang in there and try to be as open minded as you can. Perhaps he will send you a sign. Regardless he will always be your teacher about love. You can’t see anything properly while your eyes are blurred with tears. C.S.Lewis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cully Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Run free sweet baby. Quote waiting at the bridge Connie Van Teddy & Jojo, Cobra Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreyPoopon Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 I'm so very sorry. Godspeed Baker. Quote Standard Poodle Daisy (12/13) Missing Cora (RL Nevada 5/99-10/09), Piper (Cee Bar Easy 2/99-1/10), Tally (Thunder La La 9/99-3/10), Edie (Daring Reva 9/99-10/12), Dixie (Kiowa Secret Sue 11/01-1/13), Jessie (P's Real Time 11/98-3/13), token boy Graham (Zydeco Dancer 9/00-5/13), Cal (Back Already 12/99-11/13), Betsy (Back Kick Beth 11/98-12/13), Standard Poodles Minnie (1/99-1/14) + Perry (9/98-2/14), Annie (Do Marcia 9/03-10/14), Pink (Miss Pinky Baker 1/02-6/15), Poppy (Cmon Err Not 8/05-1/16), Kat (Jax Candy 5/05-5/17), Ivy (Jax Isis 10/07-7/21), Hildy (Braska Hildy 7/10-12/22), Opal (Jax Opal 7/08-4/23). Toodles (BL Toodles 7/09-4/24) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnF Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 You are absoultely not alone here with this awful grief; and neither is your dog. If your Baker looks back just over this shoulder to the left he will almost certainly spot a golden brindle Greyhound X GSD with stripes like a tiger and lovely calm eyes. That'll be my Angel who crossed in January 2009... a dog who loved everyone and everyone's dogs too. That we feel guilt is only natural because it is our solemn pledge not to let them go until they need to, so we will have been riding a rollercoaster of hope and despair as their illness progressed. But far better a day too early than a day too late when the pain was too severe. It sounds like you timed it just right for Baker. So this 'guilt' and sadness is necessary to kick start the natural healing process that we call Grieving; that we are able to cry freely is an excellent sign that it is working. In a few short weeks your memories of Baker will be only the best ones and then he can help you with all the other dogs that come into your life. So sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4greyhounds Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 I am so very Sorry!!!! I had to just cry everyday after I lost Champ. Then when I was ready I started a scrap book with everything we had done together, trips etc. Then I wrote a Dairy and the things I remembered.....Even to this day after 3 years I stop at the curio cabinet that faces the sun where he loved to be in the sun and speak to him... I know when people see mne do this they think I am Crazy but that is how I feel comfortable.... Quote Darlene Mom to: Aladdin, Sophie ,Pongo, Jasmine, Relic Forever in our Hearts Champ at the Rainbow Bridge. Let a greyhound race into your heart Adopt Bay Area Greyhound Adoptions INC. Naples/ Fort Myers Chapter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PattyE Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 I'm so sorry. I lost my boy suddenly in June and I thought I would never stop crying. You are not alone. There are so many of us who understand what you are going through. Quote Patty, Mom to Jaxson 5/12/2017 Forever in my heart: Joey 11/01/2007 to 12/06/2018, Scout 11/19/2005 to 07/15/15 and Jack 01/03/2004 to 06/11/2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MP_the4pack Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 I'm so sorry Jennifer. I've been thru this 5 times (3 last year) Reading these posts here helped me. Adopting another greyhound helped a little. But I still cry a lot. Even from ones I lost 12 yrs ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sabrina Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 (edited) Somethings you never get over . I have been thru this 7 times & each time is as hard as the 1st. Time eventually lets you remember the good times too. Sorry for you loss of Baker Edited September 22, 2011 by sabrina Quote Caroline, Mom to Daphne (49B-50215) and Penny (41D-55779)Remembering Bridge Angels Margo and Sabrina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Houndtime Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 I am so sorry for your loss. Gone from this earth, but not from your heart. Say not in grief, "he is no more," but live in thankfulness that he was. ~ Hebrew proverb Quote Irene Ullmann w/Flying Odin and Mama Mia in Lower Delaware Angels Brandy, John E, American Idol, Paul, Fuzzy and Shine Handcrafted Greyhound and Custom Clocks http://www.houndtime.com Zoom Doggies-Racing Coats for Racing Greyhounds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patsy Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 My condolences on your loss of sweet Baker. When you feel up to it, perhaps you could post some pictures of him? Quote Patsy and DH with the Humane Society specials, Linus & Jazz, in North Dakota Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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