Running Out Of Ideas, Being Told I Should Return My Grey...

[Guest GreytFish]

Yes it's tearing me up inside but I want what's best for her.

 

I'm concerned I'd eventually get used to her having accidents and just deal with it, which would be horrible for her.

 

I've already notified the adoption group and they will call me soon to schedule a pick up. I will also be donating all my dog supplies to them because I will not be getting another dog at least until I'm in a more stable living situation.

 

I know everyone keeps telling me I went above and beyond to do what I could, but after going through this a 2nd time I can't help but feel like I failed :/

[Jenbo]

You didn't fail your dog so no, you didn't fail.

[Roo]

I would say that if greyhound one didn't work out, and you are struggling with greyhound 2, you may be best off doing without a dog until such time as you can at least live without roommates.

 

I get that they might not want to help with the dog. But it's unreasonable for the dog to be home with people that are in all likelihood ignoring her as "not their problem." She's be happier if no one was there. Then she could sleep.

 

I was thinking about this too. I always cringe a little when an adopter says they live with roommates. Typically when a dog knows someone is home, they want to be out of their crate, let out to potty, and loved on. Knowing your roommates (people who pet her and love on her!) are there, but NOT petting? And then they leave!? She wakes up, gets excited, then they leave, she still has to pee, and she just..does.

 

 

I know a month isn't that long for dog ownership but I've grown really attached to her in this time making the decision so much harder :/

 

A month is plenty! I had a foster overnight and bawled like a baby when she left.

 

 

Yes it's tearing me up inside but I want what's best for her.

 

I'm concerned I'd eventually get used to her having accidents and just deal with it, which would be horrible for her.

 

I've already notified the adoption group and they will call me soon to schedule a pick up. I will also be donating all my dog supplies to them because I will not be getting another dog at least until I'm in a more stable living situation.

 

I know everyone keeps telling me I went above and beyond to do what I could, but after going through this a 2nd time I can't help but feel like I failed :/

 

You did not fail. You tried everything to make it work - it just wasn't the right situation for you or the grey. No failure - just bad timing. I had awful feelings of failure after I returned my boy. It took me two or three years before I could even seriously think of adopting again, and I did, but not a grey. I have a little senior terrier who came to me totally housetrained. She's been a challenge in her own ways, but when you're ready to adopt again, maybe look for a more mature dog, preferably one who has lived in a home for a couple years. Greyhound, mutt, other breed - whatever. Just one who has some home experience. My best recommendation for someone getting their first ever dog as an adult is to get a mature (middle-aged or senior) one who already knows how to properly train a human

 

I know how it feels. I had to return my first grey because he wasn't happy (needed a greyhound buddy). He was happy when he was directly interacting with me or with other dogs, but otherwise he was just kind of ... there (and not in the typical "greyhound sleeps a lot and doesn't do much" way - he just seemed listless all the time). He's much happier now that he's living with another greyhound and a retired couple! It's hard, it hurts, but sometimes it's right. What might help you feel, not better, but less horrible, is if you write up a little bio of all the things she loves and all the things you love about her.

[Hubcitypam]

I think you are doing you both a favor as bad as it hurts.

 

When Axel, my first yorkie died I said "never another dog" 10 months later I woke and a voice said "go to the pound". What was at the DuPage IL county pound but a yorkie. It'll all work out - Not to be Norman Greenbaum but just let the spirit in the sky guide you. Again

Of all my dogs the greys were the quirkiest. The only ones (for the thousandth time) that adapted to anything were all boys over 80# for some odd reason.

Edited April 6, 2017 by Hubcitypam

[Guest Izzy2]

I am sorry you're having to make this decision but reading everyone's posts they all seem to agree. Maybe the adoption people will keep you updated on her progress? I know people who have adopted and done this and it puts the previous owner's mind at rest, although it might be too painful for you. I lost my Leonberger Chinook nearly 2 years ago and miss him everyday although i love my 2 greys to bits. Please let everyone know how you are doing and good luck

[grey14me]

It sounds like it's just not the right time in your life for this. I'm glad you care enough about her to return her.

[JohnF]

There are no 100% rights and wrongs in this. Your dog shows signs of SA and this is making her depressed and leading to her no longer being clean. You are concerned about this and she knows your concern and this is making her worried, worse, you are worried what your roommates really think... it's one of those negative feedback loops. You are looking in on the dog plenty in my opinion for SA not to be a deal-breaker in any normal dog.

 

Now you could return her and she could go to someone else and be just as bad if she has to be an 'only dog,' but that ought to be the responsibly of the group.

 

I've returned one in the past due to 'small white fluffy dogs as prey issues', but she got a new home within the week, hopefully with people that didn't have the fluffies in their street. So I think the dog did well out of it, but for me it was exactly like a bereavement and i was like a wreck again only 8 weeks after my last one had died.

 

If you can, try doggy daycare for a while. I think she will get a lot of her confidence and canine self-respect back. Work with calming signals too so that you don't project stress.

 

If returning is your final choice, then try to look at it like you fostered her for a while.

[Hubcitypam]

 

If you can, try doggy daycare for a while. I think she will get a lot of her confidence and canine self-respect back. Work with calming signals too so that you don't project stress.

 

I worked doggie day care for several years and greyhounds were totally the most reluctant clients. They'd hide in corners to get away from the bouncing labs that thrive in open play.

[smurfette]

Perhaps it is not the right time in your life to live with a dog but you could go and help out in a shelter. I did that in the time between moving from my parent's house and having a flat where I could keep a dog and a job that brought enough money for rent, car, food and dog.

I learned many things about behaviourism, different breeds, working with difficult dogs and first aid.

[greysandmollie]

Perhaps it is not the right time in your life to live with a dog but you could go and help out in a shelter. I did that in the time between moving from my parent's house and having a flat where I could keep a dog and a job that brought enough money for rent, car, food and dog.

I learned many things about behaviourism, different breeds, working with difficult dogs and first aid.

I was going to say this too....it is such a valuable thing to help out with the shelter dogs.

 

And you didn't fail....many people return dogs. I was single and my first greyhound was a young male that was insecure and could not be alone...I returned him.

[FiveRoooooers]

You haven't failed. You fostered this girlie and now it's time for her to move on. When the time is right, *your* dog will be ready and waiting for you. Until then, as the others have suggested, helping out at a shelter or with a local rescue group could give you a fix.

[NeylasMom]

I'm a little late to this thread, but did I read correctly that you said she is drinking her own urine? That is NOT normal. I wonder if there is something medical going on that you haven't identified. Sounds like you've reached a decision, but please make sure the group is aware and gets her checked out medically.

[greysmom]

All i can say is when I first got lily it was horrendous the mess i walked into she would mess in her crate and everywhere i had my neighbour knock on my door telling me about her crying and howling to the point she sounded soo distressed. BUT i brought a behaviourist in who explained it is soo traumatic sometimes for the dog to suddenly be in a home environment bearing in mind when they are racing they are solely used to being in kennels. As i said before i bought an Adaptil plug in as well as a collar put a cover over the top and sides of her crate so she had her SAFE place but could see out of one side. It took months for lily to finally settle and get used to my routine. I made sure there was music in the form of the radio for her . I didn't scold her for messing as let's face it it's what they are used to doing.

If you REALLY want to keep her keep trying lily is fantastic now and i have also just recently got Biffo another grey.

It does take a lot of time love and patience with these incredible dogs BUT if you feel you can't keep percervering for however long it takes then sadly return her as harsh at that may sound.

 

I'm not sure what this is referring to, but most dogs in racing kennels are let out for play and potties several times a day - certainly as often as in the home of someone who works 8 hours a day - and they seldom soil in their crates. If the dog can sleep through the night without going out, then they are really housetrained and something else is going on if they can't last through a normal work day.

 

To the OP, I'm sorry that this has turned into a really trying time for you. Returns happen, even to the best of adoption groups. (Though I will say it sounds exceptionally inept for a group to match you with two such unsuitable dogs in a row.) As someone who has been on the other end of a return, I can only say Thank You for putting your dog first.

 

Our second greyhound was a bounce. He was just barely two years old, right from the track, with a stopover of only a month with one adoptive family. Even though they were an active couple with two grade school age kids, Dude was just too much for them to deal with - he had SA and was hyperactive (both from being a puppy and from being hyped up on unnecessary thyroid meds), and a behavioral mess. He was their first dog and they lived in a condo. He jumped on them constantly and knocked the kids over. Played *way* too roughly, and tended to nit on the kids hard enough to draw blood. He couldn't be crated and got into everything while they were gone. He came to our house, where we have no kids, a huge yard for him to run around in with a rowdy sister hound, and where we were almost always home, and POOF! Perfect dog. So, while I know you're feeling rocky, there's a great home for your girl out there!

 

{{{hugs}}}

[Guest GreytFish]

Hi all,

 

Someone from the adoption group came and got her about two hours ago. I also donated all of my dog stuff to them as well since I won't be getting a dog again for quite a while.

 

This was really difficult to do. But I think this is what is best for her.

 

There's already been a lot of waterworks today and I'm sure there will be some more (I tend to get emotional about stuff like this...)

 

I told the adoption group to let me know when she gets adopted and to let her new family know they can contact me if they have any questions about her.

 

Thanks for all the thoughts and replies.

[XTRAWLD]

Hugs. You did the right thing. I know it's tough.

[Guest Izzy2]

Hi Greysmom

In the UK when Greyhounds finish their racing lives they go to rehoming kennels specifically for Greyhounds and are taken for walks muzzled .... Then kennelled .As to whether when the kennels close to people wanting to rehome the dogs are let out to play i am unsure.I was also advise d by the behaviourist that the dogs are kennelled i meant no offense.

[DonnaBehr]

You did what was right for your girl, under the circumstances. There will be others available to you when the time is right.

[sarabz]

Hugs to you. We had to rehome our boy after 8 months - it was an agonizing decision and it hurts still, but it was the right thing as he's much happier.

[SPDoggie]

Many hugs to you

[Guest xengab]

If you did what was best for your grey, then you did the right thing.

 

Time will pass and when you get your own place which has a stable routine then you'll find the right dog for your home.

 

I grew up in a home where my mum didn't like dogs, had to visit neighbors to play with a dog.. then lived as nanny with families with dogs. Got married and had two cats, one cat passed away. Other cat got depressed and after 30 years of wanting a dog, I got my first grey My grey was the best match for our senior cat and they got on well. Depression went away for the cat.

 

So just know, in time things change and at some stage you'll find your heart dog

[Guest fannysmom]

Sounds like the dog needs a retiree owner.