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Running Out Of Ideas, Being Told I Should Return My Grey...


Guest GreytFish

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Guest GreytFish

Hi all,

 

I've posted a couple times before. I've had my grey for a month now. She has separation anxiety and also isn't properly housebroken. Her inhibition to keep her crate clean is gone too and now she pees in her crate everyday while I am at work. Sometimes she is vocal and sometimes she is quiet (I have roommates who are sometimes home when I am at work).

 

I've been heavily working with the adoption group trying various methods. I've also had a behaviorist come to my house for a consultation.

 

Her accidents in the crate are getting worse, she is beginning to lay in the pee

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Guest GreytFish

Hi all,

 

I've posted a couple times before. I've had my grey for a month now. She has separation anxiety and also isn't properly housebroken. Her inhibition to keep her crate clean is gone too and now she pees in her crate everyday while I am at work. This is regardless of me coming home every 4-5 hours to give her a midday break. Sometimes she is vocal and sometimes she is quiet (I have roommates who are sometimes home when I am at work).

 

I've been heavily working with the adoption group trying various methods. I've also had a behaviorist come to my house for a consultation.

 

Her accidents in the crate are getting worse, she is beginning to lay in the pee (I video record her everyday) and sometimes drinks it. Yesterday I let her free roam for 30 minutes in the evening instead of be in the crate and she ended up pooping on my roommates rug - and this was after I took her for a long walk during which she did her business.

 

Speaking of walks, shes beginning to statue quite often and the only way to get her to move is with treats or kibble. It's at the point where I'm going through a Ziploc bag worth of treats/kibble every 2 days.

 

The only thing left I can think of is to put her in a playpen in the kitchen and try anxiety medication but I'm not sure if those will work.

 

The adoption group is recommending I return her and that a greyhound probably just will not fit in my current living situation (working full-time, raising her alone, having roommates who work random schedules, etc). The behaviorist believes her issues are more hoisebreaking related and less SA related, and unless I am willing to get a dog walker to let her out every 3 hours (which is too expensive for me) then I should return her. I also asked on another greyhound-specific website and everyone there recommends returning her and that a greyhound probably isn't for me.

 

I'm starting to get extremely stressed out. I already lost my cool and lashed out at her by angrily calling her a bad girl when I saw she had pooped on my roommates rug last night. She got really scared and I felt awful doing that to her, and I know she didn't learn anything because I did it after-the-fact.

 

Is it worth trying to put her on anxiety meds and trying a playpen area in the kitchen? Or should I just return her? I'm also concerned because I know anxiety meds take at least a month to kick in, so if I go that route and they don't work, it'll be even harder letting her go.

 

The only thing I do know is that if I do return her, I won't be getting another dog for at least a year, and I won't be getting a greyhound because they just seem to have so many unique issues which I struggle with.

 

P.S. she does not have a UTI.

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It take commitment and a lot of work to manage and overcome separation anxiety.

If you are willing to commit and work and by that I mean REALLY work with her, you can do it. It took three months for us to overcome SA. It got worst before it got better. One month for your girl is really nothing and she is still adjusting to home life. Consistence and a routine is crucial. I have no idea what you tried, but the crate might contribute to her anxiety too.

If you are not willing to put in that much effort (and trust me, I know how much hard work it is and not everyone can take time off and commit or has the resources to succeed), I suggest you contact your adoption agency and return your girl, for her sake. Sometimes it is just not a good fit and if you want in the future, there are greys out there who are perfectly fine with being left alone.

It will be hard whatever you choose, you seem to be at the end of the rope, so all I can do is wishing you good luck. It seems that at the moment, both of you are unhappy..

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Guest GreytFish

Please return her. CLEARLY this is not a good fit and nothing good is going to come from it.

It's really hard because when I am home, shes amazing. She loves being with me and playing with me. She seems super happy when I am home. And she hasn't had any accidents when I am around since the first few days I had her. It's always when I'm not around.

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Guest GreytFish

Didn't you have a male greyhound earlier this year that you returned, and now have to consider it again for this girl?

 

Perhaps a greyhound isn't for you.

Yeah, his issues were a bit different though. The adoption group determined he couldn't be an only dog - and he's since been adopted by a new family with other dogs.

 

With my girl she doesn't really like other dogs anyways. With her it seems to be a combination of SA / housebreaking.

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Didn't you have a male greyhound earlier this year that you returned, and now have to consider it again for this girl?

 

Perhaps a greyhound isn't for you.

This. And scolding her may have set back any progress even further. I don't often support returning a hound but in this case I have to advocate strongly that you do.

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Guest GreytFish

Is anxiety medication worth trying? Some people from the adoption group are saying it can make a huge difference. My concern is from what I understand, anxiety medication makes it easier for the dog to be trained, because they are calmer. How do I train her to not potty due to anxiety when I have to be gone for 4-5 hours at a time on weekdays either way? A coworker who has a greyhound suggested getting a dog walker for every 3 hours like the behaviorist said, but reiterated it could take months to a year of doing that before shes trained.

 

I do alone training with her on weekends, sometimes shes okay othertimes she pees on the crate. No clue what the trigger is. I'm sticking to strict routines, even same food and potty schedules on weekends, but I can't control when my roommates come and go.

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Send her back.

She most certainly deserves a home with more stability and someone who is willing to work with her anxieties more than just "on the weekend".

 

A dog is a 10-15 year commitment and your decision to not have another one for now is probably a good idea.

 

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Guest GreytFish

Please dont assume I'm not putting in time and effort. I work on her anxieties all the time. Weeknights I give her training. I walk her 6 times a day, 30 minutes per walk. Even at work, I post on forums and consult the behaviorist and her vet for advice. I'm taking long lunch breaks to be able to go home and walk her. My evenings after work are dedicated completely to her.

 

And I am okay with all of this - there just seems to be little to no progress.

 

 

But yes based on everyone I've spoken to and all things considered, at this point the only thing holding me back are my own emotions. Right now shes happy 50% of the time. I'm sure there is a family that can make her happy 100% of the time.

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We can clearly see that you are trying. The thing is, she's not happy and you've identified that. Greyhounds are so accustomed to routine, are very sensitive (especially emotionally) and take time! They really do just take time and are unlike other breeds of dogs - greyhounds simply aren't for everyone. Returning her is in the best interest of the dog.

 

Once she is rehomed, take some time to regroup and reconsider the desire to have a pet in your life at this time and explore other breeds more carefully that will appropriately fit with your lifestyle. Something is just not working here and it may never work in this current situation with a greyhound.

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I would say that if greyhound one didn't work out, and you are struggling with greyhound 2, you may be best off doing without a dog until such time as you can at least live without roommates.

 

I get that they might not want to help with the dog. But it's unreasonable for the dog to be home with people that are in all likelihood ignoring her as "not their problem." She's be happier if no one was there. Then she could sleep.

 

Maybe try again when you're in a different place in life?

 

You seem like a nice person. It's supposed to be FUN and joyful having a pet, not a daily trial.


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Some dogs like my Barkley (terrier) really do seem to need a human home 24/7. No shame in admitting that you might not be the perfect home for a grey. She may be feeding off your stress and then you are both basket cases. Three hour a day walks might make me a bit over the edge...more so than I am.

 

Out of six both my girls were hard keepers . Even though Bark had issues because he was abandoned before he came to me muttlys in general can usually roll with tide...and there are tons of the out there waiting in shelters (or on my porch or in the side yard.). :)

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But it's unreasonable for the dog to be home with people that are in all likelihood ignoring her as "not their problem." She's be happier if no one was there. Then she could sleep.

 

Maybe try again when you're in a different place in life?

 

 

 

I was thinking just this-- she might make an easier transition had you been alone, then all the added disruption with the roommates.... I'm so sorry for all this tress... it is hard enough to transition a new dog to your home when you have help, while it seems you do not have enough.

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Guest GreytFish

Thanks Xtrawld, I appreciate people giving me their opinion (That's why I asked!), I just didn't want people thinking I'm giving up easily.

 

George - My roommates like my dog, but with them it's a situation of "benefits of the dog without the responsibility" When they gave their approval of me getting a dog, it was with the condition that it would be 100% my responsibility and damages would come out of my wallet, which is totally fair. They've even offered to help in emergencies (walk her, watch her, whatever) but it just can't be a daily thing.

 

Hubcity - Yes both the behaviorist and many of my friends, several of whom own dogs, have told me should I return her, to take some time away from dogs, and in the future (preferably when I don't have roommates) if I decide to get another dog, to get a shelter mutt as they will typically work better with my lifestyle.

 

I really do appreciate everyone's honest opinions. I just feel like the inevitable is coming and I'm a bit if an emotional wreck right now :/

 

With the Grey I had earlier, it was easy because I didn't have him very long and I could tell he didn't really care about me.

 

With my girl now, she loves being with me and I love her too. I know a month isn't that long for dog ownership but I've grown really attached to her in this time making the decision so much harder :/

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Guest GreytFish

 

I was thinking just this-- she might make an easier transition had you been alone, then all the added disruption with the roommates.... I'm so sorry for all this tress... it is hard enough to transition a new dog to your home when you have help, while it seems you do not have enough.

Yes some people have mentioned this would actually be so much better if I didn't have the roommate situation.

 

My coworker who got a grey last year said it took 6 months for her to really stop having unwanted behaviors, and she said for those 6 months it was hell for her and her husband. She said she can't imagine doing it alone like I'm trying (although I'm sure many people have managed).

 

I'm also a first time dog owner which doesn't help.

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:grouphug. I've had yorkies, dobies, mutts and greys in the last 40+ years. Both yorkies and Bella that had no brain but was drop dead gorgeous never housebroke. I was in a condo or apartment with the yorkies Not sure if you rent or own (sounds like the former) but the dog doors have been the miracle of my life. Baby gates can work well too.

 

Best of luck - you'll make the right decision...and I'll contact you when the next dog shows up on my porch. So far we've had a corgi, a black pom, a coonhound, P2 (my avitar, a GSD and a boxer mix. among others.

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I'm tending to agree with the concensus opinion out there. It's not really *you* that's the issue. If you were living alone and her schedule was consistent every single day, you probably wouldn't behaving these issues. But she's seeing/hearing these other folks coming and going all the time. She gets excited when they come in and then upset when they don't let her out, then she has to go potty, but she's still in her crate. At this point, she just doesn't care anymore if she lays in pee or not as the urge to go is more urgent for her at the time.

 

Neither of you is happy at this point, and as Susan said above, having a companion pet is supposed to be fun. I completely understand the desire to have a dog, but you need to consider if your lifestyle and living situation are going to be good for the animal, and not just if the animal is going to be good for you (which, clearly, at this point, it's not). There's no reason - none - why you can't have a greyhound - there is a greyhound out there for every situation and every home - but now doesn't seem to be the right time.

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Guest Izzy2

All i can say is when I first got lily it was horrendous the mess i walked into she would mess in her crate and everywhere i had my neighbour knock on my door telling me about her crying and howling to the point she sounded soo distressed. BUT i brought a behaviourist in who explained it is soo traumatic sometimes for the dog to suddenly be in a home environment bearing in mind when they are racing they are solely used to being in kennels. As i said before i bought an Adaptil plug in as well as a collar put a cover over the top and sides of her crate so she had her SAFE place but could see out of one side. It took months for lily to finally settle and get used to my routine. I made sure there was music in the form of the radio for her . I didn't scold her for messing as let's face it it's what they are used to doing.

If you REALLY want to keep her keep trying lily is fantastic now and i have also just recently got Biffo another grey.

It does take a lot of time love and patience with these incredible dogs BUT if you feel you can't keep percervering for however long it takes then sadly return her as harsh at that may sound.

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I agree with the posts that noted that having roommates that are coming and going at all times and not taking any time to take her outside is NOT good. It is waking her up and then she has to go and she ends up going in the crate. This does not sound like it is workable because of the roommates - it sounds like you are trying.

 

Return her -- the sooner the better.

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Guest GreytFish

Hi all,

 

I reached out to a behavioral veterinarian per my vet and the behaviorist's suggestion. Shes apparently the best one in the area. She got back to me and told me it's $500 for a 2 hour consultation with her, and she might be booked for the next month.

 

And like everyone is saying, even if I go that route, with having the roommate situation it might not even matter.

 

I just got back from her midday walk. I actually cried and hugged her as she greeted me because I think I know what needs to be done. She deserves to be happy 100% of the time, not 50% of the time.

 

I'll give the adoption group a call shortly.

 

I won't be trying to get another dog for a while. At least not until I live without roommates.

 

Thanks for the replies everyone.

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I think you are making the right decision even though it is hard. Back when I used to place greyhounds, I doubt I would have placed one in a home where not everyone was taking responsibility for helping the dog adjust. If the roommates are waking her up, but not getting her outside to pee, there are going to be problems. I don't know about you, but when I wake up from a sound sleep, first thing I need to do is visit the bathroom and it would be torture if I wasn't able to. That is what your girl is going thru.

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