Sadness & Guilt - Shelby

[Charlies_Dad]

So our old girl is showing signs that time is taking it's toll. She is getting close to 14yrs and her body is letting her down as the months go by. Now her ability to walk is limited and the winter certainly does not help with this. She can walk a little ways but she cannot stand for any period of time as her backend collapses. When she eats, typically she'll either end up in a sitting position or I hold her up and help her back to her bed. She is also starting to have accidents in the house and that only seems to cement the fact that her body isn't working the way it used to. Her appetite is decent with some mornings she won't eat everything but she won't refuse a treat. So I'm sad that her spirit is willing but her body is failing her and guilty thinking am I keeping her around, is she still happy? I have the list for quality of life and food is the main thing right now that makes her happy but is that enough. Last night I thought for a while that perhaps I need to make the decision for her but it's hard when she has no pain nor disease that is apparent. Don't know where I am going on this, just don't want to make the mistake like I did with my angel Josey (Dalmation) who was my baby girl and I think I kept selfishly around a few weeks too long.

[TheFullHouse]

Kyle, it sounds like she's doing well for a 14 year old dog. Honestly, if she were mine, still eating, walking around even if for short amounts of time and still loves her treats, I'd be doing the same thing. The having accidents in the house is probably just an age related thing, heck even my mom had accidents there at the end. I think Shelby will tell you when she's ready. Hang in there, I know it's hard. I have two seniors that have had issues now and then but they are hanging in there.

[Mystella]

 

I can't give you an answer but just wanted to add a cyberhug

[Guest sweetpea]

Oh, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

 

My sister kept waiting for a sign with her 16 year old tuxedo kitty Lolo, she adopted him @ 8 weeks.

He ate well, loved his cuddles and purred like a champion, but he was wasting away from a tumor around his heart.

The vets told her he would probably start coughing and that would be a good indicator that he was

near his end. He never coughed.

 

When he was down to close to 60% of his healthy weight, I had to tell my sister I thought it was time to let him go.

That was the hardest conversation I have ever had, but she made an appointment for the next day.

 

It's never easy, but any decision you come to out of love is the right one for your girl.

 

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}

 

Buzzy

[Jenbo]

any decision you come to out of love is the right one for your girl.

 

Agreed.

[Remolacha]

As hard as it is to see them suffer, sometimes I think the worst is when their spirit is still there, but their body fails them. If they show they are "ready" it eases a little of the, pain? guilt? I don't know, but for me, that is the hardest. You just have to take it day to day, but I understand what you are saying

[Guest snowmo18]

I have yet to have a greyhound this long (our first one passed at 5 years old from cancer) and we have 2 that are 5 right now...In our boy with cancer, I knew it was time..I could see the light was gone in his eyes..but even then I still had (and have) guilt with being the one to make that decision..I hate that we have to make "that decision".

 

I feel for you and I hope you have many more good days then bad ahead of you with her.

 

FYI, I know a couple that have several greyhounds and also have a paralyzed houndie from a spinal injury..they carry her...they bring her food to her...they take her on outings in her wagon...she has accidents in the house...but the quality of life is so much there.

[Guest grey_dreams]

If you have to ask if it is time, it probably isn't (JMHO). If she really had given up and all hope was lost, you wouldn't have to ask (JMHO)

 

If it was me, I would let her eat her meals while lying down on her comfortable bed. This is what I did with angel Zuki when it became clear that he would be more comfortable eating lying down than standing at the raised feeder.

 

As for the accidents, that happens with old age even with humans as Judy says.

 

Take each moment as it comes, give her all the love and support you can, be kind to yourself for frustration with extra work that it takes to keep a senior going, and treasure these days with your girl

[racindog]

Kyle, it sounds like she's doing well for a 14 year old dog. Honestly, if she were mine, still eating, walking around even if for short amounts of time and still loves her treats, I'd be doing the same thing. The having accidents in the house is probably just an age related thing, heck even my mom had accidents there at the end. I think Shelby will tell you when she's ready. Hang in there, I know it's hard. I have two seniors that have had issues now and then but they are hanging in there.

My thoughts exactly. Can't say it any better. My Aggie was a kidney dog and she still made it to14 1/2 before she told me she wanted to transition. She'll tell you.

[Batmom]

I'm sorry you're going through this. Hugs to you and scritchies to your sweet girlie.

[Guest Yankeegreyhound]

Any decision you make will be the right one. She knows that. But, as a pp said, if you have to ask us, it's not time.

Sara has accidents in the house, right in front of us! She'll just squat and poop - no warning. We joke that she had a senior moment.

[RaineysMom]

with my 14.5 year old lab Chester, he began to not be able to hold it during the day and for him, it was the most horrible thing that could ever happen in his opinion. He was SO well house trained, it really pained him when it started. The very last thing was when he fell into his poop because his back end just got so bad (we had been carrying him up the stairs for 2 years prior already). He just gave us "the look".

 

sending hugs. It is never easy.

[greyhead]

Our 12-year-old Spencer has had LS and disk issues for a long time. We're using acupuncture and meds to handle it now. He still has lots of life yet, it appears. But sometimes he doesn't want to get off his bed to come eat. Most of the time he does. When he doesn't, because he's too skinny, I take the bowl to his bed and hold it for him so he can eat, which he goes ahead and does. (This usually just happens in the morning.) I'm assuming sometimes getting up just hurts him more than others. So I don't worry about discipline or whether I'm spoiling him, I just roll with it. I don't know if this would help your girl eat or not. I just know that sometimes failure to come for food doesn't mean they're not hungry. Other times I have had to get him started by hand-feeding; then he usually goes ahead and finishes eating from the bowl.

 

The urinary troubles are related, says our acupuncture vet, as the nerves to the back end lose their sensitivity and effectiveness.

 

Wishing you the best as you deal with these problelms. I think you love your animals very much, will figure it out as best you can, and will maket he right choices going forward.

 

ETA: I should have said all elimination accidents, not just urinary.

Edited February 6, 2013 by greyhead

[djsgreys]

Kyle, I know exactly what you are feeling. Daisy turned 14 in January. Daisy was falling 4-5 times a day in early December, we too had some accidents happening. I had a long talk with my vet and finally decided to try some acupuncture. It has made an amazing difference - we have only had 3 or 4 falls in over 8 weeks. But it is clear that she is weakening. She eats numerous smaller meals as she can't stand long enough for one big feed. BUT she stills loves to get out into the yard for a walk and even a short run. All my others have sent me clear messages that it was time - not so with her. With my osteo pups, I knew. With CHF I knew. With old age I just don't. Deb

[Jiffer]

Our old boy will be 14 in July. He's deaf, has cataracts in both eyes, has a weak hind end, stealth poops in the house, but his spirit is still so very strong. He eats, he "tries" to run and play, he still barks, and he still asks for walks. He has an acupuncture treatment done as needed which keeps him upright, and feeling well.

 

It's hard to focus on it but look at the positives in Shelby's life. Does she seem to be suffering in any way? Does she seem happy? They have ways, sometimes subtle, sometimes not, of telling us how they are feeling and when the time has come.

 

I hope Shelby has more good days ahead. I'd try acupuncture, if you're not already...there are several vets in Ontario who perform it.

Edited February 6, 2013 by Jiffer

[RhodyGreys]

I had a wonderful girl, Mylie, who had been a brood mom. She came home in October of 2009, and I sent her out of this world on July 31, 2010. That was the worst euthanasia ever, not because she struggled, but because she so clearly didn't want to go: her spirit was so strong. Yet she had a mammary tumor, and corns on all four feet. It made me wince every time she took a step. I took her in for surgery to remove the tumor and work on her corns, but the mammary tumor was cancerous and it had already spread to her lungs.

 

I could probably have waited a few more weeks. In some ways, I wish I had, but I ended her obvoius pain from her corns and eliminated the possibility of her lung tumors compromising her quality of life. She left loved. If your girl is just weak and weary, but in no obvious pain, I'd let her stay for now, particularly when you can engage her.

[heartdogs]

Hugs to you & Shelby. I've been in you place so understand how it hurts but as others have said, she will tell you. My Sheltie/Spitz was with me until she was 20+ & even thru her having senior moments & not seeing clearly I said as long as she was happy I'd keep her with me which is what I did, she did let me know when it was time & it was the hardest thing I'd done. Just love her for as long as possible.

[Guest Scouts_mom]

While I can't offer any better advice than you've received from others about whether it is time or not, I do suggest that now is the time to do some research about putting your girl to sleep. Will your vet come to your home to do it, or can they recommend a vet that can? Unless your girl loves the vet office, doing it at home is always best in my opinion as the dog is not stressed at all. And how much advance notice does the vet need? At one practice I went to, they asked for 2 days advance notice so they could arrange their schedules to let one of them come to my house. My current vet recommends another vet who does nothing but go to homes and put animals to sleep. She just needed 1/2 day notice.

 

Virtual gentle hugs to Shelby

[Burpdog]

If she's still walking and eating I say she's fine. Isaac ate laying down the last few months of his life. Didn't stop him enjoying food

[Guest zombrie]

I'm going through a very similar situation right now with my 9 year old german shepherd Kodie, so I really understand what you are going through. Our girl is failing but her mind is still very young and not ready to go. It is absolutely horrible to see her the way she is (weight loss, incontinence, can barely walk, barely eating and in obvious pain) and we've actually prepared ourselves to let her go twice in the past 8 months or so but she improved slightly each time so we decided not to go through with it. It's so hard to make that decision for them when it seems they are not ready to go.
My thoughts will be with you and Shelby

Edited February 6, 2013 by zombrie

[joejoesmom]

So our old girl is showing signs that time is taking it's toll. She is getting close to 14yrs and her body is letting her down as the months go by. Now her ability to walk is limited and the winter certainly does not help with this. She can walk a little ways but she cannot stand for any period of time as her backend collapses. When she eats, typically she'll either end up in a sitting position or I hold her up and help her back to her bed. She is also starting to have accidents in the house and that only seems to cement the fact that her body isn't working the way it used to. Her appetite is decent with some mornings she won't eat everything but she won't refuse a treat. So I'm sad that her spirit is willing but her body is failing her and guilty thinking am I keeping her around, is she still happy? I have the list for quality of life and food is the main thing right now that makes her happy but is that enough. Last night I thought for a while that perhaps I need to make the decision for her but it's hard when she has no pain nor disease that is apparent. Don't know where I am going on this, just don't want to make the mistake like I did with my angel Josey (Dalmation) who was my baby girl and I think I kept selfishly around a few weeks too long.

Kyle, this could have been written about my own Shelby. She is a 16 1/2 year old whippet/black labrador mix. Her symptoms are identical to your Shelby, although she will always find a way to eat. I have struggled with the same decision. All I can tell you is that I live with a vet tech. I ask her from time to time if she thinks I am being selfish and if Shelby wants to go to the bridge. She tells me that she thinks Shelby is still happy and enjoying her life, even though it has changed in the last year or two. As others here have said, I think if you are asking, it probably isn't time yet. It is just so difficult when it is a slow decline due to the problems of old age.

 

Jane

Edited February 6, 2013 by joejoesmom

[greysmom]

Oh Kyle..... I have no advice, just lots of strong thoughts and white light heading for you and Shelby.

 

[Guest SueG201]

Old age is so hard, all my other greys had osteo, so I knew when it was time to let them go, I have a 14 yr old girl whom I have had since she was 8 wks old, it breaks my heart to see her try and play in the yard and she collapses, or falls down he stairs sometimes. She poops in the house daily, but i know she is not ready to go, she still eats and trys to play with her whippet sister, but i know the time is coming. She can still jump on my bed every night sigh it is hard

[Cully]

Kyle, I'm going thru the same thing with my Allie. She is 13 1/2 yrs old. She has lost about 8 # this year. She will not eat dog food any more only people food & teats. She is starting to have some breathing issues and will throw up a couple of times a week. I sit here and think is she happy or is she just hanging in here for me? Then at bed time she goes outside and the runs/hops back to the bed room.

I hope that they let us know when they are ready. In the mean time

[BatterseaBrindl]

 

Been there, done that.

More than once.

It is not an easy decision.