Is This The End?

[Guest ritamarino]

Buck passed away painlessly and peacefully this afternoon at home. In the end it was the right thing for us to do. I have always had another grey to hug when one passed away. Today I have no one. I swore no more dogs yesterday but greyhounds are the best. I feel I failed Buck despite all my research and maybe because of it. I am concerned about the vets here and not sure what to do. It seems vets are only good for handing out the vaccines. Have read a lot about how vaccines are not good either. But I will look on this message board for adoption agencies around New York City/NJ/Long Island. Buck would have had 6 years with us in December but he spent most of that time as a single dog. In December of 2011, my husband and I drove all the way to Chicago where we had lived for years and adopted Buck. Buck was so hungry and big that we placed a chair at the foot of the hotel bed that first night so our little 50 lb Tilly would not be scared by him. Tucker and Tilly - we each had for 9 years but they only got a year by themselves. Buck, I love you. Visit me in my dreams. Tucker was hospitalized that last weekend and never comes back in my dreams. Tilly sufferered too but we let her go on a good day and she visits me all the time. I can't have children and these dogs have meant everything to me. Just yesterday I was saying no more dogs, how could I have been so senseless and heartless. I have long learnt as much as I love the ones that pass, I feel a duty toward the greyhounds because they deserve so much. I am not looking forward to finding a new vet though. I feel a strange pain has lifted today. Buck didn't make it past two months from the day he was initially hospitalized. I was so excited reading posts on this board about the dogs who made it 2, even 4 years.

[seeh2o]

I'm so sorry.

[Neighsayer]

Hugs!

[Houndtime]

I am so sad and sorry for the loss of Buck. Take comfort in knowing that he is at peace, pain free and running once again with the wind.

[Batmom]

I'm so sorry.

 

Sometimes there is just nothing you can do.

 

Godspeed, good boy.

[JohnF]

 

That last act of love is the hardest; they depend upon us totally to do what's needed when it's their time.

[Remolacha]

I am so sorry, I know it was hard, but you did what was best for Buck

[Beachbum1]

Return the meds back to your vet for a refund.

In Florida, the vets have a sign posted showing the FL statute that says medications can't be returned for a refund.

So very sorry for your loss.

[teri_d]

My heart hurts for you -- no matter what the circumstance it is so hard....but this just sounded agonizing. My only advice - never second guess yourself or your choices -- it is difficult situation and to balance your head, your heart and your hubby under duress is impossible -- you did the best you could.......prayers for you

[Banjoman]

You did the best that you could to look after him and in the end you did the right thing for Buck, now do the right thing for yourself and start to fill the hole in your heart by looking for the next houndie who needs you.

[Guest ritamarino]

This has been very hard for me. Without another dog, it has been unbelievably hard. Buck didn't come to me in my dreams and I feel maybe he is upset with me and never will. Why do our innocent pets suffer so much when old crodgy men and women live so long. And conversely why do we let our dear parents and grandparents suffer long past what would be considered living with dignity for our pets ?

P.S - the vets said they couldn't take the Meds back. Looked at some agencies this morning in Long Island but don't have the energy to do anything right now as far as donating meds. Might have a bit of a sickness coming in. Thanks everyone for your kind wishes and thoughts. I wonder if anyone has had any experience with dog communicators or if that's a bunch of hooey. I will try to figure out a way to share some images of Buck on this thread or at least share a link to Flickr. Thank you all so very much.

[Batmom]

Would love to see some pictures of your boy.

 

I don't think he could be upset with you. You loved him, and you did all that anyone can do for a dog.

 

Hugs.

[NeylasMom]

Guilt is a normal part of this. Try to be gentle with yourself. As for the dreams, I don't believe our dreams are the people or dogs we've lost visiting us, but rather a manifestation of our subconscious. But regardless, its different with each loss. When my first 2 dogs passed, I had dreams of each fairly soon after. When my dad died it was a long time until I dreamed about him. Then when the anniversary of his death came I kept dreaming about my grandmother. Many months later I went through a period of about 2 weeks where I had multiple dreams of my dad. No obvious trigger. Grief is strange. And unpredictable.

[racindog]

[carronstar]

I am so very sorry for your loss.

[SanTanSnuggles]

Prayers. Keep an open heart.

[juliemac]

I'm so very sorry ...

[Guest NSGREY]

My thoughts are with you and my heart cries with you. Try to be gentle on yourself regarding Buck, you did the best that you could do with the information and vet help you had. Give yourself some time to grieve and try to make peace with how the journey went with Buck in the end. Adopt again when you are ready and I bet Buck and those that came before him will be watching over you approving.

[Guest ritamarino]

I want to thank everyone for their kind wishes and also those for their advice on Buck while he was still here. I feel every time I lose a grey, I learn something about their medical history, and I wish this would be the time where all the information I gathered, a lot of it here, could have helped Buck. I am trying not to blame myself, but I wish I had actually looked up Dr Couto and consulted him right after Buck went to see an internist. I honestly thought the Pred would work. I hope Buck can forgive me. All I can say that when he lived, he was a supremely happy boy. We went on three vacations with him to the Catskills here in NY, we didn't ever travel with our previous dogs. He loved being out in the woods and the quiet. I think Brooklyn was a bit much for him, he would just run back indoors after doing his business. He loved being home and gave us such joy. I looked through the records of our past dogs who lived to 121/2 and almost 11, and am thinking maybe commercial dog food is best? I have my Cornell vet who has agreed to help me formulate a home plan for whoever we adopt but this is one of the things that I also need to research - if home cooked is indeed best. No one seems to think my home cooking for Buck caused him to be sick. We had a very short time with Buck. Barely 6 years.

 

I uploaded some images to Flickr of Buck. https://www.flickr.com/photos/amritamarino/albums/72157686834080470

[ramonaghan]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy. Rest well, Buck.