Well, It Wasn't Arthritis

[racindog]

Sending love and positive energy to everybody.

[Willowsmum]

Hugs! Did you speak with Dr Weinberg, or just review the web site? If you didn't touch base, you should at least email him. He could be planning to be out of town, and you don't want to be counting on him always available. I have been able to have him come out with as little as an hours notice, but one time I called him in the evening and he was on the road, about six hours away.

Another 24 hour option if your vet isn't available (but you have to take the dog there) is Northstar Animal hospital right off 195 at exit 7.

Not sure where you are. I'm in Howell, so it's an easy trip. They have a private room for folks to sit with their pet. It has a rug and couches, so it looks like a lounge, not an exam room. It even has a private exit so you don't have to go back through the lobby.

Hope you can enjoy the time you have left, and make it special! This sucks, but our dogs count on us to help them out of their pain. It is Sooo hard, but we are here for you. Hugs again!

Thank you for the tip, hadn't occurred to me he might not be anywhere nearby if I called. I will contact him this weekend just to touch base.

We are closer to the one in Red Bank, which is open 24 hours, that's why we took him there at midnight on Wednesday. I'd rather not take him back there if possible, he had a tough time there, and I think just seeing the place again would put him in a state. In an emergency we could medicate the heck out of him and take him there if we had to.

 

The place in Howell is very well set up and thought out, from your description. I wish more vets were like that. It's awful walking past all the happier healthier dogs on the way out the door.

[FiveRoooooers]

Just wanted to add, my vet couldn't come to the house for Andy, I had to bring him to her clinic and Andy *hated* going there. Once I got him into my truck I gave him two Benadryl which took the edge off his anxiety just enough that the whole event wasn't traumatic for him. We had to wait just a bit for our doc and I gave Andy a third Benadryl which made him Very sleepy. He still managed to lap a vanilla cone that we'd picked up on our way, and gratefully our vet came out to our truck so Andy never had to do anything but stay comfy. I hope some of this is helpful if you need it, and I really hope you have more good time together with your good boy.

[Willowsmum]

Just wanted to add, my vet couldn't come to the house for Andy, I had to bring him to her clinic and Andy *hated* going there. Once I got him into my truck I gave him two Benadryl which took the edge off his anxiety just enough that the whole event wasn't traumatic for him. We had to wait just a bit for our doc and I gave Andy a third Benadryl which made him Very sleepy. He still managed to lap a vanilla cone that we'd picked up on our way, and gratefully our vet came out to our truck so Andy never had to do anything but stay comfy. I hope some of this is helpful if you need it, and I really hope you have more good time together with your good boy.

Thanks, that's another option! good to know.

[Willowsmum]

So, something to make us all smile, some photos!

My happy boy smiling.

 

Did someone say Treats?

So, he slept most of the day, and even ate rice out of my hands lying down. It was so sad! I was sobbing. DH comes home with HAM ENDS and guess who perks right up and makes a liar out of me...

Did you say HAM? I was holding out for HAM!

 

So, we take it day by day.

[carronstar]

He is so beautiful. Many hugs and prayers.

[Guest Roux]

So very happy to hear Shadow was more like himself this morning, and hope that has continued throughout the day.

 

I remember very clearly the moment my DH and I became clear about our goals for Crouton. Fundamentally, it was remembering to look at her universe through her eyes first. It brought us a tremendous amount of clarity, and allowed us to stop focusing on the process and start focusing that energy on the time we had left with Crouton.

 

You have a lot of excellent resources in your area and I am grateful for that. Keeping you and Shadow in my thoughts!

What a handsome boy!

[XTRAWLD]

He's so handsome.

[NeylasMom]

What a handsome handsome man

[Neighsayer]

Cute kid! Hope he sticks around!

[EllenEveBaz]

Oh, yes. He definitely looks like a Ham Man.

 

[Dawnnziggy]

I am so sorry to hear this!

[seeh2o]

What a cutie pie, ham pie, that is! He's really adorable, I love those ears.

[Willowsmum]

Well, I'm sure everyone knew which way this post was going, but it's still been hard to sit down and write it.

Friday night Shadow summoned up all the strength he had, got up under his own power unprompted, walked down the 2 steps to the front door, and my husband took him out. He walked back up the 2 steps himself and went back to bed. My husband was thrilled at his progress. We thought without the anxiety meds, maybe he'd be more active.

 

We had only been leaving the house in shifts, so I came home and he went out for a little while.

While he was gone, shadow seemed restless, like he couldn't wiggle his front end into a comfortable position. A few hours later I took him out, thinking maybe he had to go. He was a bit rubber-legged, but made it out on his own and took a good #2 in the street. When he came in, he looked at those 2 steps and said, "nope".

Realizing that trying to lift him as my husband had could end badly for both of us, I ran up, grabbed some blankets, and the two of us camped out in the front room/hallway for the rest of the evening. Shadow ate some fresh boiled chicken and even drank some of the chicken water left over. DH came home and said maybe Shadow was just worn out from going out twice in a few hours, we'll see what tomorrow brings.

 

It was my husband's turn to sleep with the dog that night.

When he heard me stir in the morning, he immediately came upstairs and told me he'd rethought his plan and that it was time, that day. I had had suspicions, but wanted to wait until he came to the same conclusion on his own, so I wasn't forcing it on him.

Despite giving him higher doses and giving the pills hours sooner than the schedule we'd been given, Shadow slept fitfully, as if he could not get comfortable. DH barely slept at all.

 

I sprang from my bed to get the phone numbers you all had given me days before, and he took Shadow out.

He came in and said, "Call them. Call them today. We can't leave him like this, it's cruel." Shadow apparently had fallen on his way back in, his hind legs giving out completely, just not at all able to hold him up. DH carried him up to the main level and put him on a nest of blankets where Shadow could see just about every area of the house. His eyes were alert, but it's as if his back end were no longer even attached.

 

Dr. Weinberg was in the middle of a situation, and said to call back at lunchtime. He needed to handle what he was doing first, then he'd make arrangements to help us. He was very kind and compassionate and considered our situation a "humanitarian emergency".

 

In the meantime I called Dr. Barnes of Eleos vet, and she said she had a cancellation at noon, and would be willing to come down to us, and I gave her our address.

I was shocked that it was all moving so quickly, but my husband and I kept repeating what we so often heard on these boards, "better a day too soon than too late".

 

I made an enormous omelette with everything in the fridge, as well as our 2 remaining chicken cutlets and a hash out of the last of the ham and some boiled rice.

Shadow sat up on his elbows and ate everything I fed him. I sat next to him with my breakfast, and he ate more of it than I did, and I was glad to let him have it.

His eyes were bright and I got the "whale eye" of anticipation for the egg, cheese, and sausage. He even ate some of my avocado, which I didn't think dogs even ate. (For the record I know now avocado is on the "toxic" list, but it was one piece and of no consequence in this situation)

 

I called the neighbor who had helped me on Wednesday night and said that Shadow was awake, alert and eating like a champ, and that if she wanted a better last memory of him, she was welcome to come by and visit soon. She brought over home-cooked chicken something that he wolfed down to her delight, even looked around as if to ask, "where is the rest of it??" She loved on him and we shared some of our favorite memories of him- how he had the best happy trot, and would always statue if I didn't bring him over to a "fan club member" for pets--he was always a "people dog".

 

Eleos vet came and they were just so wonderful. They took their time to examine our hound, pet him, get to know him. Dr. Barnes concurred with everyone else that he wasn't going to get any better, and that for a dog who can't get up and do the things he loves to do like go for walks and follow his people around, that isn't much of a life. I remarked that he was in heaven already with 2 new pretty ladies fawning over him. By the time it was "time", I felt like they knew and loved him, too.

 

He passed away peacefully in his own home, in his own bed, with kisses and pets all over him, and whispers of "you are such a GOOD DOG" in his ears.

 

You know, I think he DID have a lot of fight in him. I think he fought to overcome his pain, and keep it from us, and live as normal a life as he could for some time--weeks, or possibly months--and Wednesday night, he just could not do it anymore. The worsening cancer plus the trauma of the e-vet's was too much and he never recovered to be the dog he was on Tuesday night. Part of me wishes I'd known, and part of me was glad he wasn't too medicated to enjoy those last few "pack walks" with us. They were short, but he enjoyed the hell out of them. I am so very grateful for the support everyone has given us here, and the times you didn't know you were helping us--like when I searched the forums for "gurgling stomach in morning" and found out he was not hatching baby aliens, and a bedtime cookie and a gas-x each night would take care of that (and start a new ritual that would become his favorite--the last outs cookie).

 

My husband was so very grateful I am the "hope for the best, but prepare for the worst" type of person and that you all had given me numbers I could call at 7 AM on a Saturday, so we didn't have to see him decline any further and be pitifully in pain. I am certain that if we had to wait another 12-24 hours, things would have gone downhill quickly, and ended badly for all concerned. Thank you all for your help and advice. I would HIGHLY recommend Eleos vet for a calm, healing process for both a pet and its owners, if you ever had the need. It was an awful thing to do, but for an awful thing, it was as good as it could be made to be. Although we did not ultimately go with Dr. Weinberg, I could feel his warmth and compassion in just 2 short phone calls with him, and would highly recommend him as well. If we ever have another dog that gets crazy anxious at the vet's I'd consider him for regular care, too.

 

I keep telling myself we absolutely did the right thing, the humane thing, while he still knew we were there and we loved him, but I open the sliding glass door to the deck, or rustle with a plastic bag and am heartbroken there is no jingle of tags and trip-trap of little feet on the hardwood floors to investigate. We went out for breakfast and we didn't have to turn on the radio and get a greenie out before we could go, and the house was silent when we came home, it's really awful.

 

I want to do a happy remembrance of his life and post it in the appropriate thread, but I just can't do it right now. I know other dogs are great, and need homes, and we will have another greyhound someday, even knowing all the weird diseases they are prone to because of their breeding, but at the moment, I just am missing Shadow, J's Canyon, the very BEST DOG EVER.

 

I found this old video and it's been making me smile.

Can't seem to export into a file format that works anywhere else:

https://twitter.com/Punkintweets/status/767750267618136064

Edited August 22, 2016 by Willowsmum

[ramonaghan]

[FiveRoooooers]

Beautiful.

[Remolacha]

best ears ever One day you will be able to remember all the good times, now is the time for grieving.

[Guest Roux]

So sorry for your loss – a really lovely boy.

[NeylasMom]

I'm so sorry. This is really a terrible day for osteo dogs. But I'm glad you were able to find a vet to help you when you were ready to let him go and that he had from the sounds of it an excellent last day.

[XTRAWLD]

You did good mom, you did good. He's pain free now.

[45MPHK9]

I'm so sorry. Rest easy, Shadow.

[4My2Greys]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Shadow was such a beautiful boy. I hope you and your DH find comfort in knowing you made his last hours happy ones.

[RedHead]

I am so sorry for your loss. These things just sneak up from nowhere and in an instant everything changes. You made the right choice, and your pup was lucky enough to have a wonderful last day.

[seeh2o]

You were incredible for him, so attentive, so present. What a gift.

[Guest Sportingfields]

I am so very sorry for your loss of Shadow. May time be gentle and ease your heartache with sweet memories of shared years.