Ibd - Happy Starving!

[Guest FLT]

Oh Xan,

 

I am so sorry.

 

{{{{hugs}}}}

[Guest TheUnrulyHound]

I am so sorry sweetie, you and Happy will be in my thoughts tomorrow

 

She knows how much you love her, how much you have fought for her, sometimes the mind is willing but the body is not able. I know she loves you for all that you have done. Be at peace sweet Happy, you have so many who love you

[Guest Vinnie]

Xan and Humphrey - We are so, so sorry! We were all praying that you would be able to find the right answers for your sweet and beautiful girl. They are never with us long enough no matter how hard we try it seems. Sending you many hugs and keeping you all close in our thoughts and hearts - we know how hard it is to give that final gift to those that hold our hearts so tight. Please give her an extra kiss from us - I am sure Vinnie and the rest of the Bridge Angels will be there to greet her and show her the way. xo

[Guest tammara]

[Guest grey_dreams]

So very sorry. You Happy and DH all tried as well as you could. Wishing you love and peace.

[Guest SoulsMom]

I"ve been following this from the very beginning but never posted... *Prayers of peace and comfort for you and your family*

I am so sorry, you've done everything you can. You've been so amazing.

 

Ditto. Have been thinking of you everyday

[Guest hannahmom]

Xan,

 

I am keeping you, H and Happy in my thought today

[Guest vahoundlover]

Xan, I am so very sorry

[DaisyDoodle]

Thinking of you all today.

[Guest longdoglady]

My heart and prayers go out to you as set your little girl free from pain and suffering, that hardest gift of love.

[nyGreys]

Thinking of you.

[Guest Billie]

 

 

Xan I am so, so sorry. But I know you and Humphrey are doing what's best, and freeing Happy from her pain, as had as it will be to do.

 

[CaliforniaGreys]

This is our final gift of love Xan, and thank God we are allowed to do this for them. I am thinking of you both this morning.

 

Happy, God speed to you little girl, the best of the best are waiting to greet you

[Xan]

Thanks, everybody. I'm sitting her sobbing. There's still moonlight on the frosty meadows, but I couldn't go back to sleep after I woke with a start remembering what today brings.

 

Then I just lay there and felt both sad, and mad. And madder. And sadder.

 

Rant alert: I want to get this out, but I don't want it in her remembrance thread, so put on protective eye gear, and maybe some earplugs.

 

When my vet finally called back at 9pm last night, he told me he had talked to the pathologist. When?? Why didn't he call me immediately?? They couldn't figure out what was going on from the biopsies, but it was clear that "something was drastically wrong." I almost couldn't hear at that point, with my ears ringing with anger, trying to stay civil. He talked about whether she could survive more treatment, though there didn't seem to be anything new to try, and that it was a legitimate choice to let her go. Then he offered something for her nausea and a sedative to help her rest through the night. I almost threw the phone across the room. NOW he offers something for her stomach?? I asked weeks ago for something, and he brushed it off! If her stomach had felt better, maybe she would have eaten enough to fight this off! ARGH! I told him I'd go pick it up, and that we'd be trying to find someone local to come to the house to let her go. He said that was good, and if we couldn't find someone, he might be able to send one of his techs up.

 

When I got back about an hour later with the drugs, Happy gave me a little lick on the hand when I injected the Reglan. She never does that. I just lay there on the floor with her and had the most relaxed chin-rub session we've had in days. She's been so uncomfortable she hasn't seemed to enjoy much petting even. After getting her settled in bed, I injected the sedative (he was going to give her Ace, but I asked for something different, and got torb-something), and she just relaxed.

 

I really will try not to second-guess too much. Time only goes one way. But I'm going to have some guilt about being too "nice" to insist on some things, like anti-nausea meds. The bill scared me from being too insistent, but why didn't it matter more to the doc how Happy felt??

 

Okay. Rant over. I feel drained, which is an improvement.

 

Thanks to all of you for your love and support through all of this. It goes right where the pain is. I'll tell Happy about all her friends here, and the love you send her today as she leaves us. She can finally be comfortable. That's a good thing.

 

 

[6greyhounds]

Oh Xan I am so sorry for you I have so involved with my own grief I have not had a chance to read all the posts. Please know that I am thinking of you and offering up some prayers to St. Francis for Happy. Also I know David will there to meet Happy at the Bridge along with all of our other angel.

 

With love and remember I do care even though I do not do a lot of posting

 

Beryl,

[4My2Greys]

I really will try not to second-guess too much. Time only goes one way. But I'm going to have some guilt about being too "nice" to insist on some things, like anti-nausea meds. The bill scared me from being too insistent, but why didn't it matter more to the doc how Happy felt??

 

 

 

Xan,

I so understand your feelings of anger and frustration over how things were handled with Happy and the feelings of guilt for being too "nice" to speak up. I still live with the pain, heartache and guilt of not standing my ground and insisting on something concerning Gabby my beloved bulldog who I lost 8 years ago this December after a tragic accident. I will be holding you, Happy and your entire family in my thoughts and heart. I'm so very sorry that it had to end this way, both for you and her. It just isn't fair .

 

Judy

[Guest Whistle]

I'm so sorry

[gracegirl]

Thinking of you and your crew today!

[Guest Smiley]

Thinking of you and Happy this morning Xan and sending you many gentle hugs .

[Guest hannahmom]

We are thinking of you and H and Happy today.

[seeh2o]

No words, just sending Happy, you and your husband tender thoughts.

[Guest boondog]

I'm so sorry, Xan. Godspeed, Happy.

[Sorcha]

Xan, my thoughts are with you during this sad and difficult time. Gentle hugs for Happy.

 

If I Should Grow Frail

-- by Julia Napier 1999

 

If it should be that I grow frail and weak

And pain does keep me from my sleep,

Then will you do what must be done

For this - the last battle - can't be won.

You will be sad I understand

But don't let grief then stay your hand.

For on this day, more than the rest

Your love and friendship must stand the test.

We have had so many happy years,

You wouldn't want me to suffer so.

When the time comes, please, let me go.

 

Take me to where my needs they'll tend,

Only, stay with me till the end.

And hold me firm and speak to me

Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you will agree

It is a kindness you do to me.

Although my tail its last has waved,

From pain and suffering I have been saved.

Don't grieve that it must now be you

Who has to decide this thing to do.

We've been so close - we two -these years,

Don't let your heart hold any tears.

[Guest jfroggirl76]

I haven't read all the reply so if this is a repeat, I apologize.

 

When I went through this with Misty, it was baked Tilapia. Very clean fish and very good protein.

And of course I added your famous Nutritional Yeast, and pepcid for sure

 

Baked. Robin said grilled (I think?) I just tried white snapper (they didn't have tilapia). Raw: nope. Pan-seared: hm...nope. Desperation move: canned Trader Joes's Tuna for Cats (tuna, taurine, and vitamins): Yeay! She ate the few tablespoons I dished out to try. So, I added it to some more seared snapper torn up small, with her tylan powder, and she licked the bowl. Except for one teaspoon-sized piece of snapper, which no amount of smearing with tuna would entice her to eat. (Wabi liked it though! )

 

How often should I give the pepcid?

 

 

Sorry, edited as I just read above.

 

Your in our thoughts and prayers.

Edited December 3, 2009 by jfroggirl76

[Jackandgrey]

Xan we are here with you and Happy this morning. Please don't beat yourself up. She has been well loved and there is no doubt in my mind that she knows that and feels that comfort now.