Need Advice: Considering Returning :-(

[Guest PhillyPups]

In reading this and the responses, I would say the best thing for Django would be to return him. Obvioudly it i not a good fit. I would also make sure your husband is totally on board before bringing another greyhound, no matter the age, into your home. If, after your experiences, he is not on board, no dog will fit. Your husband may have some valid fears after this experience. No matter how your heart feels, what is best for Django is what must be considered. If one truly loves another being, they will do what is best for the other being.

 

Greyhounds are a very sensitive breed, and will know if they are feared, not wanted, etc.

 

Django sounds like a good dog, someties things are just not a good fit, different home, different dog.

 

I will say one thing, if you are looking for a dog that will not make any kind of mess in your home, you are setting up expectations that no dog, except a stuffed one in a toy store can meet, and sometimes they shed too. Any living being is capable of making a mess of some sort.

 

Good luck.

Edited September 7, 2012 by PhillyPups

[GeorgeofNE]

You're not happy, and I guarantee you the dog isn't happy.

 

Just return him. He'll make a fine pet for someone else. The longer you keep him, the more unhappy he'll be.

[turbotaina]

I'll agree with the others here and say to return the dog. He's just not a good fit for your household. I agree with those who said to step back and reevaluate. If you do decide on another greyhound, get one that's older, a return would probably be great, or at least a dog who has been fostered for a few weeks, and preferably fostered with cats.

 

Good luck. I'm sorry you're going through this, but is sounds like an all around bad match

[krissy]

I did read through your whole post and most of the responses. To me there are two HUGE issues and the first one (to me) is grounds for immediate return.

 

He is not cat safe.

 

I don't care if he tested cat safe at the kennel. Dogs cheat on their exams too sometimes. Any dog that comes into MY house must prove to me that they are to be trusted in the house. When we first got into greyhounds I had 3 rabbits. We now also have a cat (hopefully just a foster... but she's been here for 3 months now so....) who is relatively bold but is declawed. I essentially have 4 defenseless creatures who rely on my to protect them. I have posted photos and videos of Summit with my rabbits before. I was careful with introductions and supervising when bunnies were out to begin with. Now I trust him a lot more and I don't need to be right on top of him ready to grab him (but I still supervise of course). The bottom line for me in adopting our second dog is that she MUST BE SMALL ANIMAL SAFE. It's an immediate deal breaker. Django is not cat safe. Doesn't matter how wonderful he might be in other ways. Even if he were absolutely perfect and had no issues, if he's not cat safe you should return him. You will feel so guilty if something happens one day and he kills one of your cats. It's not worth the risk.

 

The other huge issue is that your husband isn't on board. My BF wasn't crazy about the idea of a greyhound. He wanted a dog but didn't know about a greyhound. We had also never had a dog before. We went to the kennel and walked a bunch of dogs and Jarrett decided he liked greyhounds. Then we fostered a dog for 3 weeks. After that we knew a greyhound was what we wanted and that we could handle one, so we got Summit. Summit was a return through no fault of his own (owner illness... actually, his former mom just e-mailed me a few weeks ago to inform us that her husband had lost his battle with brain cancer... we have no had Summit just shy of 2 years). We knew he liked walks, had no separation anxiety (very important b/c our landlord lived above us and had had a bad experience with previous tenants and dogs), and had lived with 2 cats.

 

I think the best thing to do is return Django. He is not what you asked for and that's okay. The group made a mistake. Dogs cheat on tests. It's not anyone's fault. It'll hurt at first but it is the best thing for everyone. Then you and your husband need to talk. You obviously really want a dog. Your husband is obviously not as flexible in terms of what he wants in a dog. You should probably try fostering a couple of dogs for a group so he can get used to having a dog and see that not all dogs have problems.

 

For the record, the greyhound you want exists many times over. My dog would be perfect. He is cat safe to the extreme, he LOVES to go for walks, loves affection, and has no sleep aggression. He does have some minor-moderate dog aggression that we work on regularly and he's not a velcro dog. He greets me at the door when I get home from work and then spends most of his night sleeping on my bed even though I'm in the living room. And he's terrified of fireworks and gun shots.

 

Ultimately no dog is perfect. You need to make a list of deal breakers and a list of problems you are willing to work with. And be honest about the list or you won't be happy. Good luck!

[gazehund]

Is my wanting to keep him selfish, when I should be considering his needs and admitting that he may be happier elsewhere? Or do you think we just need to stick with it and give him more time?

 

Yes, in my humble opinion it is selfish. The dog is terribly unhappy there and is demonstrating that every way he can. "Sticking with

it" and giving him more time will only serve to give the dog more time to be miserable. I have not read all of your threads. The ones

I have read seem to hold a common thread of being more concerned with your floors and possessions. Maybe that comes more from

your husbands feelings than yours, I don't know.

It also seems pretty obvious your husband is not on board with a dog. Not meaning to sound harsh, just what I have

gathered from the threads of yours I have read. If your group is suggesting you return the dog than please do so. As others have

said step back, talk with your husband and really listen to what he has to say. Both verbally and non-verbally. Then think about

a dog and what expectations you have for that dog. If you are expecting a dog to never scratch hardwood floors, to never make

a mistake and to never be sick than your expectations are too high and maybe a dog isn't for you. Best wishes to you in your decision.

[Guest Gemma]

I agree with many others; it sounds like he would be happier in another home.

 

For me, the fact that he is not cat safe alone would be a good reason to return him. Similarly, some dogs really do not do well in a city/urban environment. Add to these issues the space aggression and you have a recipe for an unhappy pup, and an unhappy you. The thing with any kind of aggression (be it fear based or otherwise) is that you need to feel confident in handling it. Not everyone is and that's okay. We all have our limits. I won't work with human aggressive dogs, ever, although I am fine with dogs with space or sleep issues.

 

As for your husband, remember to cut him some slack too. I had a similar situation once with a foster who was an absolute menace and was driving us both crazy. It was worse for my husband because a/ he does not know as much about dogs so he felt out of his depth, and b/ he gets frustrated easily and is therefore more likely to get angry. One of the issues we were having is that this foster was so used to being yelled at for his crazy behaviour that he just tuned it out OR got more hyperactive and would 'join in' by barking up a storm. Obviously, this meant we had to stay calm and firm when trying to redirect his behaviour. My husband, however, just couldn't seem to stop with the yelling! It took me a few weeks to train them both. It can be really hard if one partner has a very different reaction to the other and, although it's frustrating, you have to try and remember that this is new to them and they need time too.

 

Honestly, it sounds like no one is truly happy in this situation. Sometimes a dog is just not the right fit for a home. It happens. Return him to the group and see if you can find a better match for you and your husband. The right dog is out there, just as the right home is waiting for your boy.

[inugrey]

Your adoption group has already told you that they would take your boy back. LIsten to them. They recognize that he is not the perfect match for you. They want you to be happy and they want your boy to be happy. Obviously, neither one of you are. They will find him another home where he will thrive.

 

 

I think this is the key point.

 

Here's the thing, dog adoption is very much a human endeavor. Since it is a human thing, we need to accept we make mistakes in this. I would say if your group is asking for him to be returned, they recognize they made a mistake recommending him. I have been in the position to recommend dogs to adopters and I definitely made a few mistakes, because I am human working with other humans. I misunderstood an adopters home situation, or I didn't get a full report from the foster home, or the dog behaved one way in one situation and another in a different situation.

 

This is not accepting failure. This is recognizing a mistake was made, probably by both parties.

[Guest karilynn]

I don't see one good reason for you to keep that dog. He simply is not a good fit for your household on any level. No need to feel bad about this decision. We all make mistakes now and then, and this one is easily rectified. The adoption group will find him a more appropriate home, and you can take your time to reevaluate whether you and your husband are truly ready (and in agreement) for a dog. If you are, and you're still set on a greyhound, there may be a more calm and sweet greyhound out there waiting for you when the time is right.

 

I absolutely second this advice.

[Guest jenniferk]

Thanks everyone for taking the time to respond and for your support and kind words.

 

So my posts have always focused on Django’s issues but I’ve never said how wonderful he is. He is a very special dog, and everyone who meets him instantly falls in love with him. He’s very smart, wants to do a good job and thus is great with training, is extremely curious, and has such a strong character. In many ways, I feel lucky to have him, which is why this situation is so difficult.

 

When the rescue group suggested we return him and I asked them to come out for a home visit, they concluded that he was a very happy and confident boy. In the house, he is happy. I think we could work with him on the aggression issues. The cat issues—well, honestly, my cats are used to sharing my time because I have to keep my fosters separate, and the cats seem perfectly happy to live on the upper floors. Plus, I really think Django is just cat-curious and so really fixates on the cats. Once he cornered one of the feral cats in my backyard, and after the cat hissed at him, Django bowed and walked away. I think if Django could just sniff my cats, he would be less curious, but the cats are such scaredy cats that they’re afraid to be anywhere near him. So, I think the issue with the cats may be manageable (?) or I would just need to permanently keep them separate.

 

The big issues are that he is terrified when he leaves the house and has to go on walks (again, worse than when we first got him) and that my husband is frustrated that Django is so different than what we were expecting. (And yes, there’s the bigger issue of does he even want a dog to begin with.)

 

I talked to my rescue group last night. We decided to give it one more week and see if he improves with the walks (they can’t take him until next week anyway). I also thought of two solutions, but neither are ideal: 1.) I could drive him to parks instead of walking him in my neighborhood (but probably not a good permanent solution) and 2.) I could get a second dog. Django is so much more happy and confident around other dogs—especially smaller dogs—for sure. When he met a puppy right when we started his walk last night, he was so excited that not only did he have no anxiety while walking, but he was practically skipping. However, I’ve already talked to the rescue group about this option, and they advised against it until our aggression issues with Django are resolved, and that could be a while. Plus, maybe if we had more experience with dogs in general this would be more feasible, but I don’t think we’re experienced enough to have two.

 

I am thinking that he would be best in a rural environment or with a big yard and definitely with other dogs. But we have one more week to see if things improve. If we do return him, and I have come to grips that we may likely need to do that, we will definitely take a break and really think about having a dog in general. I think there are ways that we could dog-proof the house that we didn’t initially consider because we had no idea how much damage there would be. And I think my husband would need to be 100% on board, regardless of how much I want a dog or a greyhound in particular. So, we have a lot of thinking to do. Thanks again for your support. Oh, and a_daerr, I may email you too. Thanks.

[vjgrey]

A second dog isn't a solution when your husband didn't/doesn't want the first one.

 

Glad you're working with your group.

[Guest madredhare]

As an adoption rep for our group, we do our best to put the right dog with the right family. Most of the time, we are spot on. But, sometimes, it just isn't the right match. That doesn't mean that there isn't the perfect greyhound out there for you. That's one of the best things about adopting from a group, they will help you find the dog that will fit your family. They are your safety net. Good luck.

[winnie]

Regarding the cat-safe/cat-correctable issue... when we adopted our first greyhound, Celeste, we had three adult cats that had never lived with a dog before. Similarly, Celeste was fresh off the track and never was around cats before. Celeste was VERY curious about them, but never tried to attack. We had our adoption coordinator come watch how Celeste reacted to make sure that it was workable. We set-aside our finished basement as the "cat zone" - food, litter and baby gate up that only they could get through. It did take MONTHS for our cats to decide to come upstairs and spend time in the same room as Celeste. I think Celeste was so curious about cats at first because they weren't exactly dog-friendly. It did all work out for us in the end, but the adjustment period for the cats was a long one. Our cats didn't have any issues with dogs after they got used to Celeste. When we add a new one to the pack or dog-sit, they are like "whatever" now.

Edited September 7, 2012 by winnie

[Guest PiagetsMom]

A second dog isn't a solution when your husband didn't/doesn't want the first one.

 

Glad you're working with your group.

 

Agreed......and after reading all your posts, this to me is the most important factor in making your decision to return. A significant other can be neutral, or ambivalent about having a dog, and I still think that's a workable situation. But, I don't feel that a partner who is uncomfortable with, or against having a pup makes for a very easy situation - especially one that's less than ideal such as yours has turned out to be. That's not to say that Django's issues could not be worked through in your home, but it sure would be better if both of you were committed, long term, to doing that. Good luck to you in your decision

[mychip1]

As for the cat question......when I brought JJ and Dustin in, they were directly in from racing....so no exposure to cats and JJ has a high prey drive. I have baby gates around the house - raised off the floor, so the cat can get away...to the basement to use his box and to the upstairs when I am not home..... If I am not at home, I muzzle, so that if the cat does walk around the first floor, he is safe from teeth!

[NeylasMom]

Things aren't going to change so significantly in the next week that hasn't changed over the last 4 months. Maybe if there were just one or two issues, but there are many, including some (like your husband's feelings) that you may not ever be able to change. I think it's time to come to grips with the idea that he's not a good fit for your home.

[a_daerr]

I just wanted to say that the OP got a few snarky remarks about her husband and floors. I give the husband a lot of credit for continuing to try after having been bitten! He's doing what he can to cope in a stressful situation. I wouldn't automatically assume that being stressed equates with not wanting or not being on board with having a dog. In our family, my boyfriend didn't want ANY of our pets. But he fell in love with Henry and Truman, and now he admits that he wouldn't trade them for anything. As for her floors and possessions, this individual has done everything possible to make the situation work. She even hired a trainer/behaviorist to work with Django. It's clear that she has a bond with him. Why assume the dog feels miserable or unwanted?

 

I hate seeing this elitist attitude of people criticizing someone for doing the best she can.

Edited September 7, 2012 by a_daerr

[MaryJane]

Since you have an extra week to see if this can get fixed - your suggestion about driving to a park and see how he does there sounds like a reasonable step. I would NOT let your husband take the dogs for walks - it could be your dog is picking up "bad vibes" from him and it is making him very sensitive and jumpy (probably making both of them sensitive and jumpy ).

 

If it turns out that the dog is better walking with you in parks, then see if you can meet up with some other greyhound owners and walk with them. If the dog and you are doing OK, then bring your husband along and see if the dynamics change. If they do, chances are your husband & the dog are not compatible and you won't be able to keep both.

[Jenbo]

My group insisted I give up my first grey Raven because she was determined to eat my cat. I hated having to do that and had already fallen instantly in love (and cried and cried over it). I did return her and a week later was given my baby Myka, my heart dog. If it's not working, it's not working, and it's no reflection on you. Let your group help you find a home for this one and help another dog find a home with you. This way, everyone and every dog wins

.

[Guest jenniferk]

Thanks again for all the support and advice. I love how supportive this forum is!

 

Because none of you know me, I should tell you that I'm a crazy vegan animal-rights person who would rather go hungry or cold than to eat or wear animals (exception is buying animal products/food for the cats and dog). Animals come first in my world, so you can be assured that I would NEVER keep a pet if I thought it was miserable.

 

Having said that, after much discussion, we have decided to keep Django. Even though he is not the best match, I have such a strong bond with him, and my husband has enough of a bond with him, that we want to do whatever we can to work through his issues.

 

Regarding the biggest issue, walking, I didn't say something in my original post that I realize now may be important. This whole issue started during the time Django had a splint on his broken toe and was only allowed short potty walks. So I haven't been walking him to the river trail, taking him to parks to walk, and taking him to the dog park like I usually do. When I first got him and he was so terrified, the dog park was my saving grace. It boosted Django's confidence and made him less timid and fearful overall. My guess is he may be feeling less secure because he hasn't been around other dogs. And because he likes to go new places, he may have been balking over having to walk the same routes. His splint came off this past weekend, so I've been taking him to the river trail and parks again, and he's been much better. I've also been trying to avoid the routes I know he's most fearful of. Also, I asked my neighbor to walk her dog with us around the neighborhood, and he's been really happy walking with another dog. As for refusing to walk with my husband, when we analyzed each case, we realized most times Django got scared of something right when my husband started his walk (in one case a person shouting around the corner). Other times are still a mystery. Recently, when he refused to walk with my husband, I tried to walk him a half-hour later, and he refused to go with me too. When both of us walk him together, he is usually fine. And when we walk him with another dog, he is always fine. I've been following another post where the dog refuses to go outside, and I'm wondering if we're just trying to walk him too much. He lets us know he has to go by barking and doing his Tasmanian Devil thing, so I think we've been trying to avoid that by taking him out regularly. Maybe we just need to walk him less until he's more confident.

 

I think that once we start regularly taking him to the dog park again (he'll be in the kennel next week while we're on vacation) and walking with our neighbor and her dog will help to boost his sense of security again like it did in the beginning. And while we're not in a position right now to adopt a second dog, my husband I discussed it, and there is a chance that in the future we may adopt a second dog. I think he realizes that would pretty much solve the walking issue.

 

As for my husband, I told him I'd support him if he really wanted to return Django. He does not. He has enough of a bond with Django and feels that overall Django is a good dog and thinks (hopes) with time he will get better. Plus, I've been reading him your comments that a 2-year-old grey is much different from an older grey, so we both think in time some of his craziness and energy may lessen. Until then, we are carpeting our floors!

 

As for the cats, this weekend was the first time Django wagged his tail at the cat he sees most often. I think he wants to play with her, but unfortunately that means barking at her and jumping around, which just scares her and makes her run away. Also unfortunately, I can't ask anyone to come in to help me with this because all my cats are scared of people and will hide. I think this is one issue I just need to continue to work on a lot. I'm still not entirely sure how, so I need to think more about it.

 

The aggression seems like the "easiest" of the issues to resolve because we've seen a trainer/behaviorist and have a desensitization protocol to follow.

 

Django is very special to us. He may not have been the best match for what we wanted, but we just can't let him go. If I thought he was miserable and had no chance of happiness at our house, I would return him. But I think we can help him work through his fears so that he can be happy with us.

 

Thanks again for all your advice. Here is a picture my husband took of Django watching me...what you can't see that I always can is the hearts coming out of his eyes. :-)

[winnie]

I don't know you personally, but I support you in your decision either way. You clearly have put a lot of thought into your situation with Django. Your story reminds me of my own with my horse Gracie. I bought her as a green 4 y/o. She was quite a handful and put me through every test imaginable. I shed many tears, considered selling her several times, but ultimately decided that I just couldn't give her up. I've now had her 11 years and she is my perfect riding partner.

 

I do believe the cat situation will get better with time. Our first two greys - Celeste and Darcy - both showed interest and wanted to "play" with our cats. Of course, our cats wanted nothing to do with that and hid for months. All is good now in our house. The cats are no longer fearful of the dogs and the dogs understand that the cats do not want to play with them. Give it time, but make sure the cats have a safe haven for as long as they need it.

 

I'm also glad to read that you're husband has come around.

 

Best of luck and keep us posted!

[Guest Greyt_dog_lover]

cat training 101:

1) leash the hound, sit on one side of the room. One person holds the leash and doesnt allow hound to move towards cat

2) sencond person retreives cat and brings the cat into the room opposite the hound

3) the hound is allowed to LOOK at the cat. The person holding the leash should call his name, when he looks TREAT with very tasty treats (such as freeze dried meat)

4) if the hound jumps up, moves toward, or otherwise will not look at the person calling his name, remove the cat and try getting his attention without the cat in the room

5) REPEAT REPEAT REPEAT

6) once you can consistently get him to look at someone else after he has seen the cat, then let the cat go.

7) do NOT allow cat to move around and spark the hound's interest until you have some quality of recall with hound

8) after the first part is sucessful, then let the cat move around.

9) when the cat is moving around, get your boys attention and REPEAT the treating

10) REPEAT REPEAT REPEAT

 

After you do these steps over and over, he will begin to associate looking at the cat, then looking at you for a treat, no chasing or playing behavior.

 

by the way, I foster hounds and have cats, this is my method. Positive reinforcement is much longer lasting behavior than correction. Not only that, you have to be present for correction to work. If at any time during the above training he lunges or doesnt respond, simply hold his leash until he calms down. You may have to remove the cat for a few minutes and let him settle down. Consistency and patience is the key to getting this to work. It usually takes me a few weeks of this training to get hounds to begin to respond the way I want. It takes many many months before they are allowed to be alone together.

 

Chad

[Guest newgreymama]

He is really beautiful and kudos to you and your dh for doing everything to keep Django as part of your family. I hope that it only gets better from here!

[JAJ2010]

You also might want to explore some chemical intervention if he's THAT scared of walks and the outside world. If they are so freaked out they cannot relax enough to learn the world isn't a bad place.

[TinyMityMo]

when we first brought Sully in he wanted to chase the cats. It wasn't "I want to eat you". It was "I want to check you out because you run and peak my interest". He spent the first six weeks either leashed to one of us or blocked in by the ex-pen. We used it to block half the living room off for him. There was a sofa in his half and often people in there with him. He could see the cats moving around without being able to chase them. They got used to seeing him. Any time he was out of the ex-pen he was leashed and when we weren't home he was crated. After a while we started noticing he was ignoring the cats while he was both in and out of the ex-pen. So the next stage was out of the ex-pen but muzzled. Very shortly after that the ex-pen was put away and he was unmuzzled.

[TheFullHouse]

He's absolutely gorgeous!