Accommodating Mable's Disabilities

[Guest Frannie]

I have a non-greyhound owning friend who thinks I'm absolutely out of my mind. Mable is 11 and has reached the point where she can no longer make it upstairs to my bedroom without my helping her, and even then with a lot of pain. Her warts are back, even though I'm filing them every week (and Therapaw has now custom-made her four summer weight shoes.)

 

During the spring when I would go up to bed, more and more I was going to bed without her. She slept downstairs by herself, sometimes crying at the bottom of the stairs, sometimes just resigned. I was watching the light go out of her. It was heartbreaking. I wondered if something else was going on. I still kind of do - she has multiple health problems (Cushing's, thyroid, shaky liver function, arthritis) although she has had a thorough workup. I just felt like both of our qualities of life were going downhill. I hated seeing her this way, and I absolutely hated leaving her by herself at night.

 

So I have moved my bedroom, thanks to an inflatable mattress, down into my living room. I've moved some furniture around to make it look less like a crash pad, and although it does look like a crash pad it's kind of a sweet one. I consider this to be our sleeping arrangements for the rest of Mable's life. She is so much happier to have me and Hoss in her midst!

 

I saw nothing strange about any of this. It just seemed to be, well, what you do if you love your aging animal and want to give her the best life you possibly can. then I told my friend I had done this. It just kind of came up in conversation. Oh dear. He totally worked me up one side and down the other. I got mad, we made our tentative peace, but I lost a lot of sleep over it, and I don't know what to do with how crappy I feel. He said things like "who is going to want to come and visit you?","What are people going to think of you?", "when are you and your dog going to start behaving like grownups and going to bed by yourselves in your own rooms?"

 

Looking through a different lens, I guess I got this shocking look at myself as only eccentric and not in control of my life. I needed to share it here, since I have a feeling I'm in the company of other eccentric people who are similarly not in control of their lives (and doing just fine). Still, it hurt. I can't tell you how much it hurt.

[calif_chaz]

I see nothing but love here.

[Tallgreydogmom]

I think you are wonderful for moving your bedroom to be with Mable. We do the same thing. We only have other dog people visit us. This is our dogs and ours home, if someone does not like it they do not have to visit. Feel sorry for the man that he does not have a companion as Mable.

 

You are fine. He doesn't know what he is missing out on.

[FiveRoooooers]

I see nothing but love here.

This. Ten-fold. A few years ago I did the same thing and moved my BR from the second to the first floor so that my five seniors would not have to navigate the stairs. "Going to bed by yourselves in your own rooms." Huh? What Tallgreydog mom said, your "friend" totally does not get it. Don't lose anymore sleep over it and please, feel wonderful for knowing which friendships are really important.

[dobelvr]

I don't know about eccentric but I certainly think you are in control of your life. You have made a decision to accommodate both your dog and yourself. Nothing wrong with that! You made a commitment to care for your pets and are following through. Concern about providing Mable with the very best quality of life speaks to your great love and compassion. I don't expect all my friends to feel the same way I do about animals but I do expect them to respect my right to do what I think is best. I would have a difficult time continuing to think of this person as my friend.

[sabrina]

Margo my bridge angel had a bad back & as she got older could not climb the stairs.

We slept downstairs for the last 3+ years of her life

[Wonder]

Call me crazy too- bought a house because Sparks should not do stairs anymore at my townhouse, had special custom patio stairs put in knowing he would need a ramp at some point (he ended up refusing to use a ramp) and my bed was on the floor so that he could sleep with me. We lived this way for 3 wonderful years and I wish I could have just another day with him.

 

Today I put together a bed frame and now my bed is off the floor. Kinda feel like I'm betraying his memory.

 

Lots of love in your post and who cares what people think, it only matters what you and your pup feel- love and being together. Every second counts. We don't have them long enough as it is

[OwnedBySummer]

Sounds like love to me! And his comment about how people won't want to visit you? If they don't want to visit you because you have a wee bit of a mess going on... what kind of friends are they anyway? Besides, I'm sure if you had a dinner party or whatever, that you'd remove the inflatable bed from the living room. He doesn't seem very supportive to me.

[Guest Lynnada]

As long as you and those that live under your roof are comfortable and happy with this arrangement, who is anyone else to say otherwise? If friends don't want to come over your house that's their problem. As long as your dogs are not doing anything to them, why should they care? Do what makes you comfortable and happy.

[Remolacha]

I see nothing unusual in what you have done, I guess that makes me eccentric too Seriously, why do you care what other people think? Some of my friends think I go overboard for my animals, but they respect my choices, and just say they want to come back as one of my pets

 

I feel sorry for your friend, he has no clue what he is missing. I, too, would find it difficult to continue to consider him a friend, not because of his opinions, he has a right to think whatever he wants, but for giving you such a hard time about it. What you do for your animals, and in the rest of your life, for that matter, is really none of his business!

[Guest mbfilby]

I would do the same thing.

 

It's a shame your friend will never know the true unconditional love a pet can bring. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about caring for your dog.

[o_rooly]

I second putting quotes around "friend." Friends don't openly judge on things like this, even if they don't understand.

 

Your decision to move your bed downstairs is a testament to the commitment you've made to sweet Mable. She is one very, lucky, girl.

[lovinggreysslp]

When Trip was diagnosed with osteo and could not make it up the stairs, I put a mattress on the living room carpeted floor and the hounds and I gladly slept downstairs. Crazier yet, when Trip discovered the soft mattress, I let him sleep there and I slept on one of the dog beds.

[kolarik1]

I second putting quotes around "friend." Friends don't openly judge on things like this, even if they don't understand.

 

Your decision to move your bed downstairs is a testament to the commitment you've made to sweet Mable. She is one very, lucky, girl.

 

Agreed. When looking for a house, I really wanted a ranch house because...I didn't want my pups to have to do any steps. They have exactly 4 steps from the deck to the back yard, but that can be redone if need be...

 

As of right now while in play mode, Zelda just launches herself off the deck anyway and lands on the large patio pavers at the bottom of the steps So far Pop uses all the steps, but he will be 9 in September and I know stairs are hard on him. If my friends don't like my house or where the dogs sleep, they can shove it where the sun doesn't shine, because it's my house and what I want

 

Mable is a lucky pup to have you do this for her.

[Batmom]

The person you were talking to is a horse's behind (altho that's kind of insulting to the horse). A friend would have said, "Is there anything I can do to help?"

 

Hugs to you and scritchies to your beloved Mabel.

[Guest mbfilby]

I saw this posted on FB awhile back...

 

 

TO NON-PET OWNERS who visit our homes. Don't complain about our pets.

 

(1) They live here, you don't.

 

(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'Fur'-niture.

 

(3) Chances are, I love my pets more then I like you.

 

(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are family who are furry, walk on all fours & don't talk back

Edited July 4, 2011 by mbfilby

[2greytgreys]

There is absolutely nothing wrong, odd or eccentric about what you did. I spent many a night sleeping on my couch downstairs in the living room when my senior girl couldn't get up the stairs. And last year when I started looking for a house to buy my #1 requirement was that it be one level so that as my hounds age I don't have to worry about them trying to navigate stairs.

 

It's a shame that your friend doesn't see the love and commitment you have for Mabel. And if he would berate you for your choice then he's not much of a friend.

 

All the best to you and Mabel.

[dante2zoe]

I am sorry that by making the well-being of Mable a priority, that your friend felt compelled to criticize. In the past, I have had a dog injured and could not navigate the stairs. My college-aged son was here on break and insisted on sleeping downstairs to keep an eye on him. So, if you are eccentric, I raised my children to be that way! Please give your girlie a scritch for me.

[Guest Lynnada]

I find it really strange that this friend is more concerned about what other people will think. Like someone else said, he didn't offer to help. I would think a friend would at least brainstorm ideas to make the situation more workable, maybe offer to help move some furniture or something.

 

Don't let it get to you, you have plenty of supporters here. Here's some quotes to brighten your day.

 

" He is your friend, your partner,

your defender, your dog.

You are his life, his love, his leader. He will

be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat

of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of

such devotion."

Unknown

 

 

"Histories are more full of the examples

of the fidelity of dogs than of friends."

Alexander Pope

[dmswartzfager]

*nod* Marcus was our first senior grey, and when we noticed he was having trouble navigating the steps in and around our split-foyer house, we packed up and moved into a ranch house before he got to the point where he would not be able to do stairs. Even without stairs, there have still been times when we've had dogs who were too sick to move back to our bedroom to sleep, so I've spent more than a few nights sleeping on the couch in the living room or the pull-out sofa in the "dog room" depending on where my patient was situated. And then of course, there is this:

 

Frazzle's cart the first time we used it... and when we stopped for lunch, Symbra climbed up in there with him (it was chilly and breezy that GiG):

 

and then Blitz inherited the cart as he got older:

 

 

No strange looks or condemnation from us, that's for sure!

[greyhounds1234]

Addressing the "What are people going to think of you?" comment....well, people are going to think that you love Mable very much and would do whatever you can to make sure she has a good and happy life.

And, they may think that some of your friends are jerks who will never 'get it'.

[krissn333]

Anyone that would visit my home is a friend and would completely understand a different sleeping arrangement to accommodate my pups as they age. I can guarantee if we ever get to a point where Fritz can no longer get into bed with me, I will be putting my mattress on the floor so he can.

 

My house has no stairs, but if it did, I'd do exactly as you have. And as I said, no one who is truly my friend would ever judge me for it.

 

I made a commitment to my pets to care for them and keep them as happy as possible. If that means my house isn't as *pretty* as it might be otherwise, I don't care!

[BauersMom]

I'm very sorry your friend hurt your feelings. That's not right.

 

We have recently moved our bedroom into our first floor bedroom/office because we have one dog who can't do the stairs. I'm so thankful to have a first floor room that can easily be converted - but if I didn't, I would be sleeping on an inflatable mattress in the living room too!

[tbhounds]

I have a sign by my front door stating--"This house is designed for the safety and comfort of my dogs, if you don't like that please go away!". I stand by that rule. Your "friend" has a lot to learn in life.

[nessa]

We would do that in a hot second and you are doing what needs to be done for your baby. We have lowered our bed to make it easier for them to get on it, we have kept a 3rd sofa in the living room/ dining room area because our 10yr old girlie decided she loved to get up on it ( instead of putting it out for the dump- my MIL thinks we are nuts), we carried our 50 lb sheltie up and down the stairs for the last 1-2 months of his life as needed ( can't carry the greyhounds!) It makes perfect sense and a friend does not show such a lack of compassion and get to stay around as a friend...