Osteo Thread Part 8

[llm51807]

Thanks for posting Roux. I've been thinking of you since last night. I'm so sorry Crouton is gone; I don't doubt you have a huge greyhound-shape hole in your heart. Today, tomorrow, mid-October, whenever you are ready is the right time to open your home and your heart to another. I'm relieved to hear her passing was peaceful.

 

Cecil is about the same today and that's not good. I emailed the mobile vet to get on her schedule for Monday, but there's a part of me that thinks that may even be too long to wait.

 

Jen, day by day. The fact that Zuri is still happy and wanting to run and play is so positive.

 

Will check back in later; I have to run, but I'd also been waiting for Roux to post and wanted to get back quickly. Roux, again, thanks for asking about Cecil and Zuri in spite of your broken heart. Thinking of you

[NeylasMom]

So sorry Cecil isn't doing great. This sucks!!!

[Guest Roux]

Jen and Lori, I have been thinking about you and your hounds all day. I don't know even a word to say except just love them. As I worked today to archive this thread, I was really struck by what Greysmom said:

 

I so understand the feeling of second guessing myself. You can drive yourself crazy thinking "what if..." But none of us are omniscient, and we just do the best we can with what information we have and hope that something makes a difference.

 

I know Dude knew that we loved him, and he loved us, right up to when he closed his eyes for the last time. It's all we have, really, after everything. That final reassurance that love is enough for forgiveness.

 

That final reassurance that love is enough for forgiveness...

 

Wishing good nights to Cecil and Zuri, their humans, and all the hurting hounds and their people.

[4My2Greys]

Roux, I am so sorry that your precious Crouton is gone. Like you, the one thing that has helped me through the loss is knowing there is no more pain.

Lori, I'm sorry that Cecil has not improved as you had hoped he would and now once again you find yourself having to face saying goodbye.

Jen, I hope Zuri has many more happy days, weeks and months with you.

Hugs to all.

[llm51807]

Today is Cecil's 6th Gotcha Day. Not much of a celebration this year, but we did a lot of reflection instead. As I lie next to him listening to him breathe and smelling that familiar teddy bear smell, I just want him to be with me forever. Yeah, I know I'm supposed to say something profound about love and loss here, but I just want him to be with me forever.

 

I know he won't be with me very much longer. Roux, your advice to just love him and your reminder of Greysmom's word's are perfect. I'll carry them through this mostly likely last weekend with him. Thank you for checking in on us and giving us the support you know we'll need for what's to come even in your time of grief.

 

And also thank you to the others who dare to venture into this thread and offer kind words and good thoughts. This isn't an easy place to be, but I'm guessing you already know that. So sad for all of us.

 

Jen, please post more videos of Zuri enjoying cheeseburgers! In the midst of all this heartbreak, it feels good to see that kind of happiness. I sure hope he's game for many many more burgers.

Edited August 19, 2016 by llm51807

[greysmom]

[Guest Roux]

Today is Cecil's 6th Gotcha Day. Not much of a celebration this year, but we did a lot of reflection instead. As I lie next to him listening to him breathe and smelling that familiar teddy bear smell, I just want him to be with me forever. Yeah, I know I'm supposed to say something profound about love and loss here, but I just want him to be with me forever.

 

I know he won't be with me very much longer. Roux, your advice to just love him and your reminder of Greysmom's word's are perfect. I'll carry them through this mostly likely last weekend with him.

 

It is so lovely that you are able to lie next to and hold Cecil on his 6th Gotcha Day. I am sure Cecil can feel your love and you his. Just hold him a little longer for me in the time you have left, please. What is better than that we get to share our lives with these beautiful creatures?

 

And, Jen, I did get to see Zuri eating his cheeseburger when I visited later. I second Lori's motion that you keep up the burger videos! How fun! His beautiful face reminds me of Roux's as she aged. She didn't have time to get quite that white, but was heading there.

 

Having a little trouble sleeping, as you can see..... Thinking about Crouton.

[llm51807]

Another rough night, but we're having a better day so far. I upped his Tramadol - now giving 200mg every six hours and he seems more comfortable (and sleepy, but that's OK). I think I'll add another Gabapentin in as well so up to 500mg every 8 hours. I called the mobile vet for an appointment on Monday and I'm waiting to confirm that.

 

We just need to get through the weekend; worst case I can take him in to our regular vet today or tomorrow if things get too bad and then we'll just have to worry about Sunday. The E-vet is NOT a place I want to take him. Really hoping we can let him go at home.

 

Hope Zuri is having a good day today and Roux, I sure hope you got a little sleep last night. If not, at least you were in good company!

[NeylasMom]

Lori, glad some extra meds are helping Cecil today. I tell you, I don't know about you, but I am grateful for every additional day we have, but this day by day thing is so difficult.

 

Mostly I am struggling to get my work done because all I want to do is spend time with Zuri. This afternoon instead of buckling down I used a piece of cheese to encourage Z to get in bed where we napped together. I got up at 4:30 to give him his Gabapentin and then climbed back in so this is happening now.

 

 

No more cheeseburger video yet, but this is Z trotting around 2 days ago (forgive the quality and that horrible dog barking incessantly in the background - must be a neighbor's because greyhounds don't bark :

 

https://youtu.be/Ae5hWja92w4

 

He is sleeping more and I'm not sure yet whether that's him just getting tired or if he's more relaxed on the cannabis supplement. It could be a combination.

 

In positive news, the toe is really truly almost healed. Tiny little scabbed over area so I still soaked this morning and he has his sock on just to prevent rubbing, but it looks really good. I'm also doing an Epsom salt soaked washcloth on his anus when I do his toe, but no licking of that area or bleeding since we first noticed it. I am glad those things are seemingly or nearly resolved and the soaks he seems to actually enjoy now.

 

Anyway, need to drag us out of bed soon to walk and feed everyone and then pretend like I'm going to do some work.

I do have to teach tomorrow so I'll be gone for 6 hrs, which sucks.

Edited August 19, 2016 by NeylasMom

[Guest Roux]

Jen, I really enjoyed your video of Zuri with toy-in-mouth, and that dog-of-unknown-breeding barking in the background. We both certainly know that greyhounds don't bark, and after having three whippets, I can certainly attest to the fact that they never bark. In fact, Niels is currently not barking loudly and enthusiastically at the dogs next door, who are also not barking! But, I think I like that sweet, napping Zuri best, knowing that both his toe and his doggie bum are feeling better. I am so happy you and he were able to nap together, but I know you were wondering how he would feel when he woke. Hope you were able to get some work done.

 

And, Lori, I read your post earlier today, but had to run out to an appointment. I just soaked-up what you said and thought about you and Cecil the rest of the afternoon. For me, the weekends were the hardest when Crouton was having ups and downs. I agree that the E-vet is not the place I would have wanted to go, either. Hope Cecil's increased meds are continuing to give him relief, and that tomorrow might be a better day for you all.

 

Edited August 20, 2016 by Roux

[Guest Roux]

Thinking about Cecil and Zuri, and everyone following this post this morning. I know you will send news when you can.

[llm51807]

So when it rains it pours apparently. I had to rush Jet to the vet this morning for a shot of Benadryl and steroid after he, Geno and Cecil were attacked by bees this morning. Cecil was only hit a few times and seems OK but shaken up at the time. Geno got stung 5 times on the face and legs and Geno said they were all over Jet and suspects he was stung many, many times. It was total panic and chaos here. I was in the bedroom changing while all this went down and was only alerted something was wrong when Jet bolted into the bedroom panting with his martingale still on. I ran out to see and assumed it was Cecil, but Geno was still getting bees off himself and Cecil and trying to get in the house. Yellow jackets had a nest in the ground and Jet disturbed it and they attacked. I put some clothes on, decided Cecil seemed OK, gave him some Benadryl and left him with Geno. I took Jet right to the vet. Everyone seems OK, but it was all I could do not to pour myself a drink when I got back from the vet's office at 10:30AM. Safe to assume that's not a sign of good mental health. Poor Geno is even worse since he not only got stung but witnessed the trauma of it all and had to figure a way to run away from the bees with a dog who can barely walk let along run. I'm generally glass half-full, but this has been a really, really bad few weeks.

 

Jen, Zuri looks great in the video. It looks like everything you're doing is working and he seems very happy! So glad you got him up on the bed for snuggle time; I really don't think there's anything better. Cecil was so aloof when we first got him and he'd skitter away from me if I even tried to touch his head. Now he's the Snuggle King and next to food, spooning is his favorite thing. We'll be doing a lot of both today and tomorrow. The vet is coming around 4PM on Monday, so we can let him go. He's no better; still painful when he has to get up and his walking looks painful. He's still putting weight on it, but not much and it looks really bad. Swelling in that shoulder hasn't budged two weeks after the fall. This isn't going to get better. Extra meds are keeping him comfortable while he's resting.

 

Roux, thanks for checking in on us. How are you doing? I know you have other furries at home, but I'm always taken aback at the void, that empty space and quietness of where they should be. It's startling for the first few days after they pass; thinking about it now takes my breath away.

[Guest Roux]

Oh Lori & Geno – this is absolutely the last thing I expected or wanted to hear. Several years ago, we also had a yellowjacket nest in the ground in our backyard. I found it by simply walking past within 3 feet of it, and was stung twice. Fortunately, we were able to get rid of it before any of our dogs were stung. They are incredibly aggressive wasps and their stings are very painful. This was the very last insult all of you needed. I am so, so sorry it happened. Please check back later today to let us know how everyone is, if you are up to it. It has been after noon for quite a while, so I hope you have that drink. That Cecil, Jet, and Geno had to go through this trauma is just not fair, in any universe. I so hope Cecil has been able to settle and rest comfortably after everything that happened today. I know how hard it is to look toward the time you have chosen to ease his pain on Monday. It really feels like there is a visceral clock thumping inside you, counting down the minutes.

 

As for how I am, I am basically okay. Being on this side of saying goodbye to Crouton makes me realize how immense the time warp was that I was in. Since everything I did revolved around her, time just didn't really matter. Now that I am back in the "real world", I sort of have that feeling that I am trying to walk out of a fog. It really hits hard whenever I walk past the places I had put special beds to make it easier for her to lie down, or be close. It is hard, but we do still know it was right for her.

 

We are so fortunate to have our big boy Niels, who my HB, Michael, calls "that once in a lifetime dog". He is very special, smart, and loving, and helps immeasurably as we adjust to losing Crouton. Our whippet, Pi, is fundamentally very sweet, but has never been the sharpest tool in the shed. He is driven almost exclusively by his brainstem. He also never learned any dog manners, and even marked Crouton's bed a week or so ago, just because I stood it against the wall so she could walk by more easily! Yep – light's on but nobody's home. I could tell you much more about Pi, but it would only frustrate. It must be that darned terrier they bred into whippets decades ago. We understand in new and creative ways why the whippet was sometimes called the "poor man's greyhound".

 

I know your hearts are breaking. I will be sending positive thoughts.

[NeylasMom]

Lori, that's so scary and horrible and frustrating and just not what you and Geno needed right now. I'm so sorry. Glad at least that the stings weren't horrible for Cecil.

 

I'm not really up for posting much tonight, except to say that I'm just chilling on Z's dog bed with him because that's where I need to be. He had his head in my lap for a while, then he repositioned and stretched out to get more comfy, but he made sure he was still stretched alongside/touching me.

 

Are either of you on FB? If so, feel free to friend me. I've been posting a lot of?photos and tonight I posted a video of me teaching Zuri to lay his head down on cue. My last name is Boyd-Morin.

 

Roux - is your first name Miriam? I hate not referring to you by name - thank you so much for continuing to offer support. I wish I could help make this time easier for you. Your description of how you're feeling is so familiar. As the reality of this starts to sink in I think about that sort of stuff. How his crate will sit empty in the bedroom for weeks or maybe longer, unneeded but me unable to take it down. And all of the special beds I've set up for him, the numerous meds and supplements that have taken over my kitchen, the mattress I ordered to put on my living room floor that will almost certainly now arrive on my doorstep after he's gone. I don't know how you are doing it.

Edited August 21, 2016 by NeylasMom

[llm51807]

We're really having a rough go. I should have had the vet come on Thursday when she was available. Our appointment is at 4PM tomorrow at home, but if he doesn't settle, we may not be able to wait and I hate to think it, but we may have to take him to the E-vet. Pain level seems about the same but his anxiety won't allow him to settle. The second I take a hand off of him, he looks at me and begins to fidget. We didn't sleep at all last night. All he wants to do is eat and be rubbed. Poor sweet boy. Any advice on how to settle him? Could be pain, could be meds. He actually seem a little more comfortable on the leg, so I'm thinking it's the meds.

[NeylasMom]

I'm so sorry. Could it be the extra Tramadol and maybe backing off would help? Can you get a hold of your vet? Trazodone might settle him. Would likely also sedate him, but that may not be a bad thing at this point. Really hope you are able to work something out so you don't have to go to the e-vet.

 

To add to the great news in here, I called the in-home euthanasia vet this morning. We have an appt at 6:30 tomorrow evening. I didn't want to post because I'm afraid I'll change my mind, but it's unlikely I will. Zuri was doing great on Friday, his best day yet, so we walked more and he ran around with his Cuz a lot. Yesterday he was painful as a result. Not as bad as Monday, but I had to give a little extra Tramadol yesterday evening to keep him comfortable and wanting to do stairs. It was only 25 mg for his evening and nighttime doses and I didn't give it this morning, but I told myself if I had to increase his meds again it was time. It's clear he's not going to rebound from this and I just feel like he's tired. Could I keep him comfortable for longer? Probably. But he's not having much fun anymore.

 

The good news is we are finally supposed to get a break in this weather and tomorrow should be a nice day so we may be able to spend some time on the deck in the fresh air. He also has an appt with his in home massage therapist at 11:45. I'm a little torn about having her come because it's hard to bear the thought of an hr of time not just spent alone with him, but he really enjoys them and they make him feel good so I think I will keep it. Otherwise there will be more cheeseburgers, fries and ice cream and lots of snuggling.

[llm51807]

Crappy news about Zuri too, I'm so sorry. You can always change your mind and we won't pass judgment. I will say though, Zuri is comfortable enough for you to spend quality time with him tomorrow lazing in the sunshine. I think we passed that with Cecil. I've had plenty of time for that - 9 months to be exact, but that's gone and these last few days are going to be bad and hard for him and us. I waited too long.

 

I just gave Cecil vanilla ice cream with the cannabis oil on top and that seemed to help - let's pray for the magical powers of a Mary Jane Sundae. Hopefully he sleeps for a while. I was just at the vet yesterday and could have gotten the trazodone, but he was fine anxiety-wise yesterday. And who knows, maybe it is pain. He's so hungry though and perks right up for meals and snacks. Really want to try to make it until tomorrow afternoon so we an be here at home.

 

Roux, have you read that book I mentioned a while back? It's fiction and called Sighthound. It's an easy read and won't win any best literature prizes, but it's a great little story and the main characters are a Scottish Deerhound named Dante and his human. It's all first person and every chapter is devoted to the perspective of one of the main characters. Dante has osteo and is a tripawd. I think I may re-read it if I can get through it. It's sad but comforting at the same time. Neils and Pi sound like Dante and his dingbat sister Rose in the book.

[Guest MnMDogs]

I'm so sorry to hear about Cecil and Zuri. I wish I had something better to say, but I'm thinking of you both.

[NeylasMom]

Fwiw, the idea of a Mary Jane sundae made me laugh.

 

The other problem with sharing my decision - peoples' responses to it make it seem more real. I just hope I have the strength to follow through. I've been questioning for days whether I actually would have the strength to make the right decision - I am really having a hard time coming to terms with the reality of this despite having months to prepare myself. But yesterday there was a knowledge that I would probably need to call the vet today and this morning there was a resolve that made me pick up the phone.

 

Lori, is there no other option to have someone come sooner? There is a service here that only does that, but I wasn't able to find them through Google, I think because they are a little far. But a friend told me about them and they just charge an extra fee to come to my area. Maybe your group knows of someone? Or is there a way that you could do the e-vet that would be peaceful for Cecil? Does he like car rides? If so, maybe making the most awesome comfy layered bed for him and having the vet come out to the car?

 

I understand so much wanting to do it at home because I feel the same way and I support you whatever you decide - absolutely NO judgement here. I am just concerned in the end you will regret waiting based on what you're saying. I know you and Geno will make the best decision for Cecil regardless. So sorry you have this to add to your struggle.

Edited August 21, 2016 by NeylasMom

[45MPHK9]

Thinking about you, Jen and Lori.

[FiveRoooooers]

Thinking of you both here as well. Better a day too early than a day too late. 's

 

for Roux too.

[Batmom]

Hugs for Roux and Jen and Lori. Hard times. :(

[Guest Roux]

First to Jen – yes, my first name is Miriam. Roux or Miriam, I am fine with either. I do have a FB page, but only to support the page of the company I work for, so I don't post much or anything personal on mine. It will allow me to see your page, though, so I will go do that! So sorry that Zuri is not doing well, and that you are having to increase his meds again. I do know how that feels, and to realize that being here is just not fun anymore. I do hope you can spend some time in the sun and fresh air. And, as Lori said, we would never judge you if you change your mind about tomorrow.

 

And, Lori, I wish I had some wisdom to impart that would help you with Cecil's anxiety. I don't mean to keep harping on Tylenol, but that 500 mgs with each of Crouton's other scheduled medicines really made a big difference to her pain. I really hope his ice cream sundae settles him. That he is still hungry is a good sign you may be able to make it to tomorrow.

 

You know, Lori, I actually ordered Sight Hound within a week of your mentioning it the first time and the book has been sitting by our table for over two weeks, unopened. It is beginning to sound and feel like it is time for me to open it and read. I will do my best to start it this afternoon. Also, wanted to show you both the photo on the Hounds of the Heartland adoption site that caused us to adopt Niels. The first picture is the one that did it for both of us. How on earth we managed to ask for him first is beyond me. So, the first photo below is the one from the HOH site in September 2013, and the second one is our newly integrated group, waiting at the door to come in from the deck in October 2013. From left to right is Roux, Pi, then Niels, so you can see how big he is. Roux was a pretty normal greyhound girl who weighed about 70 lbs, and Niels was very underweight when we adopted him, probably about 75 there.

 

 

 

Just wanted both you of to know how much I appreciate your keeping up with me through this thread. It is really helping to hear from you and keep up with your sweet hounds. Holding you in my heart and hoping for everything that is right for Cecil and Zuri.

Edited August 21, 2016 by Roux

[NeylasMom]

Oh my, Niels It's a good thing you don't live closer or I would be coming to steal him.

 

 

So this is why I was hesitant to post. I ran out to the grocery store to get steak for Zuri and I to share for dinner tonight. When I got home 20 minutes later and let him out of his crate he went trotting around the place with his Cuz ball like it was any old day. Barely a limp to be seen, my normal bright-eyed bushy-tailed guy. I had food puzzles on the agenda for today so I got those out and we did a few rounds with those, he ran around a little more waiting to see if we were going to do anything else and now he's snoozing on his bed. His last slightly increased dose of meds was his Tramadol at 2:30 am. He's been back to his more recent "normal" dose since this morning.

 

I am incredibly grateful, even if he's sore again after this and it doesn't change things and he just has one last really good day, but man this is a freaking emotional rollercoaster! At least the vet was kind enough to tell me that if things changed drastically tomorrow it was no problem to cancel our appt.

 

To celebrate something small in the meantime, Zuri is bandage/sockless for the first time since the serious effort to heal his toe sore began. There's a tiniest little dog of a scab so I'm keeping an eye to make sure he doesn't lick, and I may put the sock back on for walks to make sure there's no rubbing, but I'm happy at least that he's unencumbered by any bandaging, not that if ever really seemed to bother him that much.

 

 

Anyway , Lori, any updates on Cecil? Really hoping you've been able to get him comfortable and am sending many good thoughts your way. Would love for both of us to get some of this good day mojo!

Edited August 21, 2016 by NeylasMom

[Guest Sportingfields]

Crossed paws and prayers for all of you.