Forevermybabies Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 (edited) Well...it seems to be happening a lot around here lately. And I often feel that my grief doesn't compare to much that I see around me. I have a friend who lost her brother last year. Another who lost her daughter last summer. Others here who have lost so many and so much. And yet, I have always felt that no one's loss diminishes any one else's - so I'm unclear why I feel like I should be handling this better than I am in the face of what others go through. But I do feel that. That grief should be somehow easily scored and appropriately assigned. So I am left to wonder how any of us survives in the face of our hearts breaking over and over. Yet, we do, don't we? I don't know how. Yesterday I lost Angel. She slipped away so quickly and quietly and yet, I could feel, even if I could not hear, the tearing apart of my heart. My pack has fallen away, and I feel bereft. Last night Sunscreen Man came and slept in my bed with me. We were a comfort to each other. Two old dogs who have lost their singing, rooing, laughing, poking partners. Angel was my funny girl. She would walk around the house shoving things with her nose, just to see what would fall over. Rejoicing if that thing happened to contain food or garbage. Boxes, rocking chairs, lamps, books...if it moved at all, she would nudge it - hard - just to see what might happen. At the dog park, she was a loner. Looking for trouble, mostly. The frogs she flayed, who then had to be put out of their misery with a rock (by a stranger who I begged...I could never do it.) When she was young, she would leap up and give me a fat lip when I got the leash because she was so excited to be going...oh ANYWHERE. When I called her from her play, when Sunscreen Man would studiously ignore me, and Festus didn't need to be called because he never left my side...she would come running at top speed from whatever mischief she was in to hurl herself at my feet. I would be walking in the park, and not even be able to see her in the woods, and I would just call or whistle, and she would magically appear. She was also the "Bad" girl. Digging through garbage and scattering it through the house. Eating...horrid things. Doing whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted. But with great love. I think the words most often was said to her by my 16 year old were, "Seriously Angel? Seriously?" when he would catch her either doing or just having done something ridiculously naughty. It was a sad day yesterday when I realized that my belongings were safe again where I left them. My bags would not be gone through. My coat not pulled off the chair and dragged to bed. My shoes unmolested. Another pang went through my heart when I knew that my naughty girl was gone for real. She was a terror to all form of vermin, varmints and rodents. In her life, she caught a mouse (with the help of one of my cats), rabbits, squirrels, frogs, bugs, and just about anything else that would hold still. Even last Sunday, she threw up two Boxelder bugs. She wouldn't eat, but she couldn't resist the bugs. (My vet said it wouldn't matter. They're not toxic.) The girl who would roll over onto her back for anyone to rub her tummy, and then rub her face if they stopped...her signal to "keep on!" She loved meet and greets, where people would oooh and aaah over her beautiful face. We were at a Gay Pride Parade in Minneapolis one time and ran into her trainer from WI...she recognized her - four years after she'd been adopted. Her name then was April Louise. I keep looking over at the couch to look at her there...she would always sit across from me and just watch me. I just can't believe she's gone. Can't believe she's with Festus now. And Joe. And Meer and Jezebel, and Holly and Kitty...And I can't believe what a big task she's got ahead of her to find all of her pack so they can all wait for us together. My sister sent me these pictures today. They made me laugh through my tears. My sister does the Renaissance Festival, and used to have a fox tail to wear around her waist. Used to. Angel had a pretty good nose, and was not particlarly considerate of other people's property. Sorry this is so long...Sunscreen Man and I are taking the day off to go to the dog park. We're both quite depressed. He was SO HAPPY when Angel came home Wednesday, and now...well...we need to get out of the house. Angel and the former fox tail. (Incidentally, I do not endorse the wearing of fur, fox tails, or any other abuse of animals. I'm sorry for the fox.) Unrepentant. Satisfied. My girl. Edited March 20, 2009 by Forevermybabies Quote Tami, Nikki & Gypsy (non-greyhounds, but still pretty good dogs.) Deeply missing Sunscreen Man, Angel (Back on the Job), Switzler Festus and Joe (Indio Starr) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZoomDoggy Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Oh Tams, I am so very sorry for your loss. Quote ~Aimee, with Flower, Alan, Queenie, & Spodee Odee! And forever in my heart: Tipper, Sissy, Chancy, Marla, Dazzle, Alimony, and Boo. This list is too damned long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
retiredracers Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I'm very sorry for your loss. She sounds like quite a character. I'm sorry that I never got to meet her. Her unrepentant picture says a thousand words. Quote Elphie, Kulee, Amanda, Harmony, Alex (hound mix), Phantom, Norbet, Willis (dsh), Autumn (Siamese) & Max (OSH) & mama rat, LaLa & baby Poppy! My bridge kids: Crooke & Mouse (always in my heart), Flake, Buzz, Snake, Prince (GSD), Justin & Gentry (Siamese), Belle (Aussie/Dalmatian mix), Rupert (amstaff) and Fred, Sirius, Severus, Albus, George, Hagrid, Hermione, Minerva, Marilyn, Wren, Molly, Luna, Tonks, Fleur, Ginny, Neville, Bill, Percy, Rose & Charlie (rats) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Becki Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Oh Tami :grouphug Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robinw Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Tami, my heart sank when I saw Angel's name. I'm so sorry Quote Xavi the galgo and Peter the cat. Missing Iker the galgo ?-Feb.9/19, Treasure (USS Treasure) April 12/01-May 6/13, Phoenix (Hallo Top Son) Dec.14/99-June 4/11 and Loca (Reko Swahili) Oct.9/95 - June 1/09, Allen the boss cat, died late November, 2021, age 19. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BlackandBrindle Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I'm so very sorry for the loss of your sweet girl. :grouphug Gentle hugs to you and Sunscreen Man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burpdog Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Sending my sympathy What a beautiful Angel..... Quote Diane & The Senior Gang Burpdog Biscuits Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GreytMuse Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I am so very sorry for the loss of your special Angel. Thank you for sharing the wonderful tribute to her, I can feel how deeply she will be missed by everyone who was lucky enough to have known and loved her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
racindog Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I don't have any words to express my sorrow. When such a beautiful soul as this crosses over it is beyond words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HJsM Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 So very very sorry.....our thoughts are with you Quote ATASCOSITA DIAZ - MY WONDER DOG!Missing our Raisin: 9/9/94 - 7/20/08, our Super Bea: 2003 - 12/16/09, our Howie: 9/17/97 - 4/9/11, our Bull: 8/7/00 - 1/17/13, our Wyatt Earp: 11/22/06 - 12/16/15, and our Cyclone 8/26/05 - 9/12/16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fatesrelease Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 *hugs* I am so sorry for your loss. My loving thoughts and warm prayers are with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Becki Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Tami, I don't know if you will remember this or not, but you were in Marshall for some reason five years ago this summer. Angel came with you and the boys for your little road trip down here and you came here for lunch. Max fell in *******love******** with Angel. She, and you, are the reason we decided to go from a pack of three to a pack of four, bringing Axel home. Which also makes it your fault, we got involved with Race For Adoption, and bought, raced and retired Indie and then Snickers. Which also makes you two responsible for Dainty Wag coming home last summer, since she is Indie and Snicker's mama. Angel was quite a girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracey Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Big hugs, Tami. I'm so sorry you lost your beautiful girl. Quote ...............Chase (FTH Smooth Talker), Morgan (Cata), Reggie (Gable Caney), Rufus (Reward RJ). Fosters check in, but they don't check out. Forever loved -- Cosmo (System Br Mynoel), March 11, 2002 - October 8, 2009.Miss Cosmo was a lady. And a lady always knows when to leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forevermybabies Posted March 20, 2009 Author Share Posted March 20, 2009 (edited) Thanks Becki. Angel will take the blame for all of that with the same aplumb as everything else she was responsible for. We were always so happy to have you guys come to the meet and greets. I'm going to have to make a special effort to get Sunscreen Man out and about now as he doesn't have anyone here to play with anymore. PS, I still think your friend at the vet clinic has gotten you into more trouble than we ever did. Edited March 20, 2009 by Forevermybabies Quote Tami, Nikki & Gypsy (non-greyhounds, but still pretty good dogs.) Deeply missing Sunscreen Man, Angel (Back on the Job), Switzler Festus and Joe (Indio Starr) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Becki Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Pat was responsible for the cats, you are responsible for the greys. There are currently four of each here! (although, she was the cause for Penny coming home...so you might be right) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wonder Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I'm sorry Tami Quote Kari and the pups.Run free sweet Hana 9/21/08-9/12/10. Missing Sparks with every breath.Passion 10/16/02-5/25/17 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carronstar Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I am so very sorry you lost your precious girl. Grief can't be "easily scored and appropriately assigned". You are right, we do go on because we have to but we also make the choice to love again. I know that you and Sunscreen will help each other, I also know that Angel will send you a sign, be it something you find in your home or a new love she sends you, that she is well and whole and wants you to be well and whole as well. Be gentle with yourself. Revel in the love and the time that you had with Angel. This sadness can't possibly take that away from you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iluvgreys Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Tami, I'm so very sorry for your loss. Your home will seem too quiet without your naughty girl. May her loving spirit live on forever in your heart. Godspeed, precious Angel... Quote Jeanne with Remington & Scooter the cat....and Beloved Bridge Angels Sandee, Shari, Wells, Derby, Phoenix, Jerry Lee and Finnian.....If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heavenand bring you home again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rascalsmom Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I'm so sorry for your loss, Tami. It sounds like Angel was an absolutely fabulous girl; thanks for sharing her with us. Quote Phoebe (Belle's Sweetpea) adopted 9/2/13. Jack (BTR Captain Jack) 9/28/05--11/2/12Always missing Buddy, Ruby, and Rascal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreyPoopon Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 (edited) I'm so sorry. She was gorgeous. Godspeed Angel. Edited March 20, 2009 by GreyPoopon Quote Standard Poodle Daisy (12/13) Missing Cora (RL Nevada 5/99-10/09), Piper (Cee Bar Easy 2/99-1/10), Tally (Thunder La La 9/99-3/10), Edie (Daring Reva 9/99-10/12), Dixie (Kiowa Secret Sue 11/01-1/13), Jessie (P's Real Time 11/98-3/13), token boy Graham (Zydeco Dancer 9/00-5/13), Cal (Back Already 12/99-11/13), Betsy (Back Kick Beth 11/98-12/13), Standard Poodles Minnie (1/99-1/14) + Perry (9/98-2/14), Annie (Do Marcia 9/03-10/14), Pink (Miss Pinky Baker 1/02-6/15), Poppy (Cmon Err Not 8/05-1/16), Kat (Jax Candy 5/05-5/17), Ivy (Jax Isis 10/07-7/21), Hildy (Braska Hildy 7/10-12/22), Opal (Jax Opal 7/08-4/23). Toodles (BL Toodles 7/09-4/24) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KahluasMagic Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I'm so sorry Quote Lynn Missing Pepper,Magic,Kahlua, Hobbit Ziggy Jasper and Bella Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TBSFlame Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I am so sorry. Beautiful tribute to a very special girl. I am sorry I never got to meet her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rickiesmom Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I am so sorry for your loss of your beautiful Angel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaliforniaGreys Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 And our hearts are broken once again, I am so sorry. Angel fought hard, with dignity and grace and leaves behind a legacy of love. God speed beautiful girl, run with all the Angels and please continue to watch over those who love you. Quote Missing my little Misty who took a huge piece of my heart with her on 5/2/09, and Ekko, on 6/28/12 For the sick, the lost, and the homeless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grey14me Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Oh no I am so sorry, Tami Quote Michelle...forever missing her girls, Holly 5/22/99-9/13/10 and Bailey 8/1/93-7/11/05 Religion is the smile on a dog...Edie Brickell Wag more, bark less :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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