What Would You Do

[SAVED2]

We are now down to 4 greys , mainly becuase we are old , two of the Greys are both 12 now and in bad health , Andy has lung cancer bad and what looks like skin cancer on his lip , Maggie has liver problems , wont eat unless hand fed then only eats half , she has lost a lot of weight and is looking starved , she falls a lot now and needs help getting up on the couch where she has spent her 10 years here next to me ,you have no idea how hard this is on us there our children , I know there both dieing together and time could be very short so what has been going threw my head is when one has to be euthinized becuase I wont let them suffer should I have them both done together and buried together in the same grave -- we dug it last week-- I,m thinking that becuase they do everything together ,or would you wait the short period between and let the one left to suffer the loss of there life long mate , please think before replying.

 

Yes they have both been to the vet a lot.

[Guest Energy11]

I am deeply sorry you have to make this decision. I cried when I read this post!

 

Having been a paramedic in many facets of emergency medicine, then, a vet tech, and losing a husband to cancer, I KNOW what loss is, and how it rips you apart by the seams! ... and the emptiness it leaves.

 

IF YOU feel in your heart that these two should go together, and are READY to go together, then, so be it. ONLY YOU know what is in your heart, and no one else. There is no right or wrong answer to your question. You will know when it is "time." The only thing I'd wonder is, what if it is "time" for one and not the other???

 

I do not know how bad your babies are, or whether they are suffereing. Two things ... put yours in their places, and two, remember the saying ... "better sooner than later ..."

 

I send you prayers. I send you courage, and love! ... YOU will know what the right thing is, and when.

 

Dee and The Five

 

 

[AliWest]

Here is my opinion for what it is worth. I would let them both go together. Esp. if they are close to each other. I would not let one suffer the loss of the other. It will not be easy. I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is hard watching them decline and then trying to decide when to let go. :grouphug

[buddibear]

Only you have the correct answer.It's never easy even when they are young. Your vet should give you answers with their experience. You heart has already prepared you.Be kind on yourself and family.Enjoy the memories. Peace be with you

[Charlies_Dad]

I am so sorry you are going through this. It is a very hard decision. You know your pups best and I am sure know when quality of life isn't there for either of them. I know you are seeking advice but it is so hard to lose one but both...that is brutal. I guess one of the things to consider and you mention it is, will one of them get badly depressed and sink into worse health when the other is gone? If I knew they were inseparable and had been all their lives with you, perhaps I would let them be at piece together but boy would that be hard on me...yes, that is a selfish thought and that is when I would have to truly think about my pups and what is best for them.

 

Sorry, but this kind of advice is hard but you wouldn't be posting if you did not love your pups.

[Guest NeroAmber]

What an awful decision and situation- I'm so sorry it's reached this stage. I hope they carry on healthily for as long as possible... as others have said only you know what is right for them. If you are sure that one will only pine and fade without the other, then perhaps it would be better for them to go together though...

[OwnedBySummer]

It's horribly terribly hard... but I made that same decision this past April. One went to the Bridge on Monday and I helped the other one on Thursday. My sweet big boy was at the end of his time and we had discussed euthanasia with the vet a few weeks before. But once he lost "his girl" on the Monday (she was diagnosed with spleen cancer on the Saturday and went in for hopeful surgery on the Monday and was euthanised on the table, the cancer had spread)... he was so sad. He already couldn't climb even the one step on the front porch and now he didn't even want to try.

 

So... I understand where you are at. You will know in your heart what you should do. It will break you down and it's the hardest thing I've ever done. I still cry about it and I'm crying right now as I type. My biggest regret, my so-far-impossible-to-get-over-guilt was NOT staying with my girl, my heart dog, for the half hour or so prior to the surgery. I didn't know I could and I didn't think to ask and the vet never suggested it. My reason for mentioning that is to tell you NOT to do anything that you will feel guilty about afterwards. The pain and the loss is terrible enough without the added guilt. If you decide to let them go together... be there, hug them, love them, wet their fur with your gentle tears, kiss their muzzles, smell their ears. Take a picture at home that day or the day before. I did and, although I can barely look at it, I'm glad I have it.

 

Edited November 10, 2010 by OwnedBySummer

[Guest Wasserbuffel]

I agree with everything Energy11 says. You'll know when it is time.

 

I may be facing the same situation soon, albiet with my ducks. I am down to two for the first time in ten years. They are old, bonded to eachother and neither really like me all that much. I've seen the depression a duck can fall into when it is alone after its companion dies. Were they young, adding more would be the solution, but they're old and I don't actually want more ducks when they pass. So, it may come down to putting a healthy, if old, duck to sleep. I know it sounds harsh, but I know my animals, and I know that would be for the best for them.

 

Were I in your situation with both being ill, I would let them go together.

Edited November 10, 2010 by Jayne

[Guest KennelMom]

I'm not really sure there is a right or wrong answer here. It's what you feel comfortable with that will minimize the suffering of each animal.

 

I do know what you're going through. Been through it way too many time already.

 

eta: to answer your question as to what *I* would do. I would probably not euthanize two pets together. I want to hold my dog and say my goodbyes individually. I'm not sure I'd have the energy or strength to make the same drive/visit twice in the SAME day. If I had two dogs nearing the end and I was making quality of life decisions, I'd probably opt to make the trip on two separate days if possible. Our dogs are all cremated, but burying them together sounds lovely.

Edited November 10, 2010 by KennelMom

[Guest Energy11]

It's horribly terribly hard... but I made that same decision this past April. One went to the Bridge on Monday and I helped the other one on Thursday. My sweet big boy was at the end of his time and we had discussed euthanasia with the vet a few weeks before. But once he lost "his girl" on the Monday (she was diagnosed with spleen cancer on the Saturday and went in for hopeful surgery on the Monday and was euthanised on the table, the cancer had spread)... he was so sad. He already couldn't climb even the one step on the front porch and now he didn't even want to try.

 

So... I understand where you are at. You will know in your heart what you should do. It will break you down and it's the hardest thing I've ever done. I still cry about it and I'm crying right now as I type. My biggest regret, my so-far-impossible-to-get-over-guilt was NOT staying with my girl, my heart dog, for the half hour or so prior to the surgery. I didn't know I could and I didn't think to ask and the vet never suggested it. My reason for mentioning that is to tell you NOT to do anything that you will feel guilty about afterwards. The pain and the loss is terrible enough without the added guilt. If you decide to let them go together... be there, hug them, love them, wet their fur with your gentle tears, kiss their muzzles, smell their ears. Take a picture at home that day or the day before. I did and, although I can barely look at it, I'm glad I have it.

 

 

... I know the guilt you speak of. When Bold Energy was sick in the E-vet, and wasn't getting any better, I opted to let him go to The Bridge. At the time, having recently lost my husband of cancer, I didn't think I coule be there with Energy, and wasn't . To THIS DAY, it rips at me and haunts me! Maybe that is one reason I adopted sooo many greys, ... my "original" five and two seniors, who have passed (yes, we were there for them). When it is time for these five, I PRAY it will be at home with a vet, and we will both be here.

 

As hard as it is, the OP really has things worked out in her mind and her heart, and I respect her immensly for this!

Edited November 10, 2010 by Energy11

[JAJ2010]

to answer your question as to what *I* would do. I would probably not euthanize two pets together. I want to hold my dog and say my goodbyes individually. I'm not sure I'd have the energy or strength to make the same drive/visit twice in the SAME day. If I had two dogs nearing the end and I was making quality of life decisions, I'd probably opt to make the trip on two separate days if possible. Our dogs are all cremated, but burying them together sounds lovely.

 

I agree with this, but only you have the right answer. I always try to stagger my pets ages so I won't have to deal with having an empty home.

[GeorgeofNE]

That's tough--but I'm a big believer in doing what is right for the dog.

 

As my vet told me, she's never had a client contact her after a euthanasia and say "I did it too soon" but she's had many ask "Why did I wait so long"?

 

Clearly you love them both very much. I would base MY decision on their quality of life. If they're equally ill, then perhaps you have a vet who might come to your home and let them both go?

 

I'm very sorry, and I know how painful the decision is to make.

[TheFullHouse]

I'm so sorry you're having to make this decision. If it were me and only if it were me, I would see if the vet could come to the house and let them both go together. They've lived their lives together, they are going to be buried together, if they are both that ill, I would let mine go together. Having shared my life with Emmy and Andy, I know how totally bonded two dogs can be so if it were my choice that's what I would choose.

 

My heart goes out to you both.

[Guest Tes623]

I have no advice, I'm just sorry you are having to go through this.

[Guest Energy11]

I'm so sorry you're having to make this decision. If it were me and only if it were me, I would see if the vet could come to the house and let them both go together. They've lived their lives together, they are going to be buried together, if they are both that ill, I would let mine go together. Having shared my life with Emmy and Andy, I know how totally bonded two dogs can be so if it were my choice that's what I would choose.

 

My heart goes out to you both.

 

If you think it is "their time," I agree with Judy ... see if the vet can come to their house, and let them go together. Once they are pre-sedated, they, and you, can relax ... until you are all ready! God Bless you all!

[SAVED2]

Our Greys have there own van all the rear seats are removed and there are beds back there so there is no problem bringing them together and the vet teck would not rush us , now the problem is it is taking over my mind I cant stop checking on them , it could be thisafter noon or a month from now---Thank you everyone its helping us to make the decision , but still I look in there eyes and want to back out , I,m too involved in them they are a big part of my life. Dan

[SIGreyLady]

No advice since what I was going to say has been said in the posts.

 

Sorry for the difficult position you are in. I will keep you and your pups in my prayers. :hope :grouphug

[FiveRoooooers]

What would I do? What I did, they went to the Bridge together, but these were horses not dogs. Somehow you find the strength to be there for them, later you have your friends to help you pick up the pieces.

 

My heart is breaking for you, clearly you love your dogs very, very much. Whatever you decide will be right.

[cmc333]

What a horrible situation you are in. Since you don't know when - tomorrow or next month - it's very possible that when it is time for one, it will be time for the other. You know deep in your heart that if only one goes, the other one is going to suffer from missing her. Chances are, she will be very bewildered and depressed and will just end up dying from the emotional pain. You would be grieving right along with remaining do and that would be upsetting too. And you don't want that. It's not what you would want for yourself either. I think it would be the kindest - albeit hardest - to let them go together. I know how upset my one dog was when I lost one in the surgery unexpectedly. Even thought they didn't really even like each other, she grieved for her sister until we got a new puppy.

 

No matter which way you decide, you'll probably feel guilty later on. If you do let them go together, you'd always wonder if the second dog could have lived longer. If you don't send them to the bridge together, then you will torture yourself that you made the second dog wait and have an unhappy last few days, weeks, months.

 

I've retyped this 3 times and somehow I just can't type the right words down to explain. I am so sorry you are in this position and you are the only one who will be able to make the decision. We are far stronger than we think we are; you WILL know the right answer when the time comes.

 

Connie

[Guest sheila]

I can't think of any words that will make you feel any better about having to make this painful choice. I can only answer the original question of what would I do. I would let them go together, both for their sake and mine.

[RobinM]

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

[DesiRayMom]

Prayers for strength for you to do what you think is best for all.

[Batmom]

Just hugs to you and Sharon and to your precious puppers.

[BatterseaBrindl]

Such a difficult situation...

Do what is best for the dogs...you will find the strength and your remaining two dogs will help you get through the pain.

 

I totally agree with those who said to have the vet come to your house.

We have done this in all but one bridge crossing and it is so much better to say your goodbyes at home, on a nice sunny day right beside their final burying place.

 

Our last bridge crossing was an emergency, at the E vet on Boxing Day.

Coming home with Penny's little body in the back of the car was the hardest 30 minute drive I have ever had.

 

My thoughts are with you.

[tbhounds]

Seems like I might be only one to feel this way but, personally I would not put them to sleep together purely on the thought that they would be miserable without each other. Who knows, perhaps one of your pups would feel the need to wait before crossing so he can stay to be able to comfort you. I understand the reality of needing to think ahead, however, I feel you should resist the urge to overthink this--- it will play out as planned.