When Do You Know It It Time?

[Guest NoGreytrLuv]

Our Kelsey is 13. For the past year she has been having trouble standing and urinating and pooping all over the place. When she stands, her backquarters slowly sink to the ground. She makes such a mess in her crate that I clean it daily and wash the blankets sometimes twice a day. She will lay there and just poop lying down. She will come in and start pooping because she has no feeling of when she needs to go. Her backside and tail get caked with her mess and I clean it off . I am not complaining about what I do to care for her - she has been my love for 10 years and she deserves this care. But when do you know that she is done? She is on prednisone so she likes to eat - in fact - she never got as much as a kick out of eating as she does now. She goes out side and she stands there. She chatters her teeth at me when I am about to feed her or when I let her in. I just feel bad because when we leave her in the crate for a bit - I come back and she is laying in it and that is not healthy.

 

I had to put my Doc down about a year ago for a similar problem. He couldn't stand at all but he had more control over his bowels. It just about killed me to put him down. And I was questioning myself then because I could still see the spark in him. His body just wouldn't cooperate.

 

I just want to do what is right for my girl. Help!

[BatterseaBrindl]

This is such a hard decision to make...

We've made it far too many times, and it does not get any easier.

Nobody but you can decide when the time is 'right', but it sounds as if Kelseys quality of life is quickly declining.

 

My motto is 'better a day too early, than a minute too late' .....

 

[cristar]

We went through the same thing with two of ours. Their bodies just wear out and whatever you do, it

doesn't help.

With our first one, it got so bad that we'd have to hold her up to eat, and even then, she'd poop while she

was eating and never even knew it was coming out. She couldn't stand for more than a minute without her

rear giving out. She'd be sound asleep and poop and pee on her bed, every day, sometimes 2 and three times a day.

It's very sad and one of the hardest decisions we've had to make. Her mind was as sharp as a tack but her body just

wore out.

It's not fair and I know the heartache you're going through.

[FiveRoooooers]

I'm so sorry you are having to make this decision. This recent thread on exactly your question might help you.

[Guest IrskasMom]

:grouphug :grouphug

[Guest davidsl88]

You may have to consider your pup has developed degenerative myelopathy, not entirely uncommon in older dogs. The symptoms you're describing are similar to those my boy began developing at age 12. It was insidious and difficult to put together. His hind section became a little weak. He had some difficulty getting up from bed. He had a little trouble getting up into the car but no problem jumping down. He had accidents. I only work part time but he just couldn't hold it those few hours. Then it got worse - sometimes as many as 2 or 3 per day. We couldn't leave him upstairs on his bed during the day while we were at work and made a 'day' bed for him in the cellar to minimize the damage and mess. He'd poo and pee only minutes after going outside. Then his hind legs started really dragging when he walked, we noticed his toes would scuff the floor. He couldn't make it up the stairs anymore without a lot of help. But he 'stalked' my husband all around the house, demanding his ride or walk and always did the 'Stormy Dance' when it was time to go. His appetite was a bit diminished, but still he ate well. One day he collapsed in the yard and couldn't get back up. We rushed him to our local emergency vet (a teaching hosptal) and that's the first time we heard about DM. The vets were more than happy to propose myriad tests, including surgery, to 'try' to verify what they thought, but couldn't guarantee a diagnosis or treatment. I took Stormy to our own vet the next day who agreed that DM was more likely than not but advised testing was not only unnecessary, but at Stormy's age, would take too great a toll. He was in no pain or immediate danger and at 13, the vet felt his age would catch up naturally to him well before the DM got any worse. We discussed quality of life and felt at that time, he was still enjoying himself. That was last August. By October he'd ocassionally not bother to get out of bed to greet us. He still wanted rides but refused walks. His accidents continued to get worse. His appetite kept dropping so I started cooking hamburger and rice for him every day which he seemed to enjoy, until it dropped off again. On November 10th, he began moaning, then vomiting. He'd had nothing to eat the day before or that morning so it was just bile. We took him to the emergency vet where they discovered his belly was full of blood. They wanted to know our intention, quickly, because they'd have to get him into surgery immediately. Stormy was 13 years, 3 months old. We'd only had him for 10 years, but we never considered that someday we'd have to live without him. We laid down on the floor with him and held him until he went to sleep.

I agree - better a day early than even a moment too late. A hard lesson learned. I asked myself that question too, many times. But I made up the answers to convince myself he was alright. Whether it was a day, a month or a minute, I knew before that day that it was time - and now it was past time and as much as I loved him, I should have loved him enough to let him go. For that, I can't forgive myself for keeping Stormy here, for our sake. I can't forgive myself for pain he experienced before he decided he couldn't bear it anymore and let me know. To have failed my good boy when he needed me most is my biggest regret.

[rschultz]

My vet helped me decide because I knew it would be difficult. ((hugs)))

[Charlies_Dad]

Make a list of the things that Kelsey likes and determine which can she still do and enjoy? If she doesn't enjoy or cannot do that majority of them, then you do have some serious thinking to be done. Sometimes unfortunately we have to make a decision for our pups and not be selfish and sometimes meds can alleviate what we thought was 'terminal'. Kelsey sounds similar to what happened to our Shelby who passed just before her 14th birthday and I had been thinking a lot then that we would have to make the decision for her but then one day when I was travelling on business, she went outside and when Lynn looked out some minutes later, she was gone. She chose her own time which I guess is good but I never got to say goodbye to her and hold her as she passed.

 

I'm sorry you're going through this.

Edited January 27, 2014 by Charlies_Dad

[Victor]

When we were struggling with this, our vet suggested we try using the "Quality of Life Scale" that was developed by Dr. Alice Villalobos. You can download it here:

 

http://www.pawspice.com/downloads/QualityofLifeScale.pdf

 

Hope this helps.

[sobesmom]

That's such a hard decision. I've made it once. And I "think" I did it right. Only you can know.

 

My best wishes are with you through this hard time. 10 years in a happy home is a good run.

[Guest Bigaldog]

We went through this with our Champ in July 2013. He was deteriorating for 3-4 months. The problem was liver related. He was 13, so surgery was pretty much out of the question. Champ was a very muscular 90 pounder in his heyday. By the end of June 2013 he was 50 lbs. Quality of life was gone. No appetite, little interaction with his best friend(us), sleepless nights, very unsteady gate, unable to get comfortable in any position and worst of all for him was no control at all with his bodily functions. He had an ultra sound scheduled for July 5th in relation to his liver. On Juy 3rd I called our vet, we discussed his condition and it was a consensus not to subject him to the procedure. He told us with his eyes what we all knew. When your friend loses interest for all the things he or she loves the most, it's time. Let your love for your best friend guide you.

[brandimom]

As everyone has mentioned it is a tough decison and we try and live by "better a day too early than a day too late". In 2011 it was my vet who told me that I should let Brandi go and I trusted him with my heart but I was blind sort of. I knew the vet was right. It might help to get a second opinion from a friend who knows and sees your dog. In 2012 when Lexi was failing I tried tell my husband that we needed to let her go but he would not do it so we asked the dog sitter to tell us through her eyes what she saw every day when she came at lunch to let the dogs out. It was a wake up call for my husband and he let Lexi go.

[Guest NoGreytrLuv]

We have decided to put down our girl. I believe it is the kindest thing to do.

[Charlies_Dad]

I am very sorry.

[Batmom]

I'm so sorry. Give her a kiss for me, will you?, and whisper in her ear how very beautiful she is.

[carronstar]

The kindest thing is so often hardest. You are making your decision with love for your girl. Please give her a gentle cuddle and kiss and let her know the honor guard awaits.

[GreyPoopon]

I'm so sorry.

[jetcitywoman]

It's one of the most personal decisions ever. A couple weeks ago we had to say goodbye to our kitty. She had been declining for about a year; we were maintaining her on kidney diet and thyroid medicine but she was 18 and things were failing due to age. In December she had a seizure so we knew the time was close. However, aside from the seizure episode she was happy and affectionate so we felt her quality of life was acceptable. But the day I came home from work and saw that she'd had a stroke: one eye dialated, holding her head sideways, walking along the walls instead of freely into the room and turning in clockwise circles... it was time. She had no quality of life in that state, and at her age it wouldn't get better.

 

We did get the vet's opinion first just to be sure, and the vet said we could wait a couple days. It would have been two more days of disoriented misery for her, so we said goodbye.

 

As you mourn, take comfort in the fact that you deliver her gently into the arms of the Lord, or if you're atheist you deliver her gently to her end. It's a very loving, respectful thing to do.

Edited February 10, 2014 by jetcitywoman

[greytpups]

It's also the most loving thing you can do please accept my heartfelt condolences and wish for a peaceful passing

[macoduck]

When you have let Kelsey go, if you'll post here or in the Remembrance section I will add her name to the list of Bridge Angels. She will not be alone. She will never be forgotten.

[FiveRoooooers]

I am so sorry. We are thinking of you and Kelsey.