Oh My Gosh - Homer's Ashes....

[Guest Alysmom]

Thank you all for your love, group hugs, kind words --- you are helping me thru this....

 

They just called, his ashes are there.....how can I do this????????????????????? I don't know if I am strong enough. I cannot have anyone else do it, just like I couldnt have anyone else be with him when he left....

 

Please say a little prayer for me, okay?????

 

Homer's Mom

[Guest MnMDogs]

I'm so sorry - Picking up the ashes is so so hard. Thinking of you.

[MachosMom]

Sending you strength. Can someone else drive you at least? I know I would want someone else to drive me when I have to go do that. There is no way I could drive myself.

[KF_in_Georgia]

Think of it as bringing Homer home, where he belongs.

 

(And if you talk to the ashes during the car ride home, you won't be the first person to do that...)

[Guest Lady_Catherine]

I'm so sorry about Homer. Can you have a friend go with you? Remember, you don't have to be strong and brave. You can cry and feel sad about sweet Homer. Having a friend there to help you remember Homer and do practical things like driving may be helpful.

[revamp]

I would suggest not driving yourself. There is also no need to pick up the ashes immediately. Take some time if you need to. Homer is in your heart and your memories, not at the vet.

 

ETA--I would even suggest possibly having the friend run in and retrieve the ashes. When I collected by beloved heart dog's ashes, I thought I had it all together, but then the sympathetic and knowing expressions and the hushed voices the veterinary staff treated me to did me in. I appreciate that they felt bad and empathized with me, but it just made me realize my loss all that more strongly.

Edited July 24, 2012 by revamp

[BatterseaBrindl]

Homer is in your heart and your memories, not at the vet.

 

[TheFullHouse]

You'll feel much better when he's home. A huge hug, I know how hard this is.

[FiveRoooooers]

You will feel such a huge sense of relief when Homer is home again. A dear friend picked up ashes and brought one of her dogs' favorite blankies with her to wrap them in on the ride home, she told me how comforting it was to do that.

[Guest Cardiffcouple]

I am so sorry Homer had to leave you. Getting his ashes will really help, I promise. It is like bringing him home. It does help to talk to him. When we lost our first dog, Zeke, I kept his cedar box on my nightstand for awhile. It felt better to have him near me. Nothing we can say to help the pain you are feeling just please allow yourself to grieve.

 

Everyone handles the grief in a different way. We have lost seven animals over the years and I almost immediately gather all of the photos and go through them, laughing and crying. I buy a collage frame and fit the best photos into the cutouts and hang the collage on the wall of our office. For me, the process of going through the photos right away keeps our pet near me. The walls of our office are overflowing with our kids' photos and it makes me feel good every time I go in that room.

 

All of us are here for you.

[Burpdog]

You can do it. If you don't think you can drive, have someone take you.

 

I drive and the bridge kid gets to ride on the front seat

[schultzlc]

I'm so sorry, as I know how hard it is. Sending good thoughts as you bring him home.

[sabrina]

Picking up the ashes is so hard to do

[DesiRayMom]

My sympathy........but I always feel better when they're "home" where they belong.

[Guest Alysmom]

I picked them up. Unfortunately, my "best" friend has let me down yet again, so I had no one to count on to drive me there. I guess in times like these, you find out who your REAL friends are. Nothing from her but a post on facebook, "oh no, so sorry"..... no phone call, no card - zilch. I've been there for her thru thick and thin....the past 2 years I have had five deaths in my family, so I guess I am not much "fun" to be around. She was always there when she needed something or needed her kids taken someplace or I had something to give her.... a year ago my blind horse got caught in the fence and I called her to come be with me & she was "too busy". Now I guess she's too busy to care about Homer either. The extra bummer is she owns the vet clinic I have used all these years I guess it's time to find a new clinic too.

 

I was overwhelmed at the kindness shown to me at the urgency clinic that took care of Homer and did all the final testing, etc. They were sooooo kind. Hugging me, being with me, it was wonderful. I saw when I looked briefly in the bag where is urn is, they even made a ceramic pawprint for me and wrote me a nice letter. The vet who took care of him handwrote me a nice card telling me what a handsome and special boy he was. That was so nice. Needless to say, I've never been hugged at my regular clinic or sent a handwritten letter -- when I've lost pets before - you just get a "group" card with all the employees names written in (like they do them in bulk).

 

I havent taken the urn out of the bag - I am half afraid of the pain it will stir in my already broken heart. I am so lonely for my boy. He was the one "person" I knew always loved me. All the others (humans) I had have died. He was so much comfort to me in all my losses I have been thru. My husband doesnt like animals, so he isnt much help at all.....

 

I hope my broken heart will start to feel better so I can stop unloading on all you kindhearted hound people.... I can tell you've all had your hurts as well.....

 

Thanks for being there.... Hugs....Julie

[greytpups]

 

I'm so sorry you have to face this alone. I'm hoping you'll continue to post and stay here on GT. It's a wonderful, caring community of people who understand and support others here at a moment's notice.

[Guest IrskasMom]

I am glad ,Homer is HOME with you again

[MachosMom]

 

I'm so sorry you have to face this alone. I'm hoping you'll continue to post and stay here on GT. It's a wonderful, caring community of people who understand and support others here at a moment's notice.

 

I second this. Please stay and post! This is a wonderful place, and even if you just need to write out how much you're hurting we all understand.

 

I picked them up. Unfortunately, my "best" friend has let me down yet again, so I had no one to count on to drive me there. I guess in times like these, you find out who your REAL friends are. Nothing from her but a post on facebook, "oh no, so sorry"..... no phone call, no card - zilch. I've been there for her thru thick and thin....the past 2 years I have had five deaths in my family, so I guess I am not much "fun" to be around. She was always there when she needed something or needed her kids taken someplace or I had something to give her.... a year ago my blind horse got caught in the fence and I called her to come be with me & she was "too busy". Now I guess she's too busy to care about Homer either. The extra bummer is she owns the vet clinic I have used all these years I guess it's time to find a new clinic too.

 

I was overwhelmed at the kindness shown to me at the urgency clinic that took care of Homer and did all the final testing, etc. They were sooooo kind. Hugging me, being with me, it was wonderful. I saw when I looked briefly in the bag where is urn is, they even made a ceramic pawprint for me and wrote me a nice letter. The vet who took care of him handwrote me a nice card telling me what a handsome and special boy he was. That was so nice. Needless to say, I've never been hugged at my regular clinic or sent a handwritten letter -- when I've lost pets before - you just get a "group" card with all the employees names written in (like they do them in bulk).

 

I havent taken the urn out of the bag - I am half afraid of the pain it will stir in my already broken heart. I am so lonely for my boy. He was the one "person" I knew always loved me. All the others (humans) I had have died. He was so much comfort to me in all my losses I have been thru. My husband doesnt like animals, so he isnt much help at all.....

 

I hope my broken heart will start to feel better so I can stop unloading on all you kindhearted hound people.... I can tell you've all had your hurts as well.....

 

Thanks for being there.... Hugs....Julie

 

That is so cool that the clinic did that for you! A ceramic paw print! And a handwritten letter. I tell you, handwritten letters go a long way now a days- they are just too rare.

 

I am very sorry also about your "best" friend. She sounds like she could be related to the girl I thought was my BFF. Yeah, not so much. If I needed help, not there. When I was with my partner at the vet and we were bawling waiting for the confirmation of the bad diagnosis, yup she was too busy. If she needed something, she was there. My grandmother just passed away, and she has not even said a word to me. I have other friends that I wasn't expecting to care about Macho, or me or my partner, and they have been through it all so far with us. It really is true that going through things like this you definitely find out who your friends are. I am sorry that we have to find out in times like these, when we need support the most.

 

However, please don't be sorry for "unloading". Yes, we all have our hurts, but thats also why you can unload on us. WE UNDERSTAND! And when you get angry or upset or just hurt, we won't make you feel silly, we will be right there with you, sharing the pain because we do know how it feels.

[Guest cashie]

I'm so sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time:( It's hard enough to lose your best furry friend and then have your human friend not offer you support. Its so strange to me that the people who have been there the most through this awful ordeal are complete strangers on Greytalk. I wish we all lived closer so that we could get together for real hugs, comfort and understanding.

 

Hang in there and keep posting whenever you need to! It helps the rest of us to know we are not alone.

[Guest Alysmom]

Thank you soooo much for the encouragement. Yes, I wish I was closer to you all too. I'd love to be around hounds and "greyt" people. When I got to work last night, I had two cards and a plant on my desk. That was really nice too. Both from people I never thought I was particularly close with. Yes, I guess we do learn a lot about people when these tragedies occur. I was thinking this morning. I loved/love Homer so very much. There are so many animals out there that never (tragically) are loved. I know for a fact, no one loves me the way I loved Homer. I guess that makes his memory feel "safe" with me. When he was here, I did everything in the world for him and I adored him. Now, his memory is safe with me as well. I cherish him.

 

Strangely, although I cried over the box and footprint and everything in the bag, I just cannot make that "be" Homer. The bag is here with me in my office room (where I spend a lot of time). I will put it on my shelf with ashes from other animals I have loved in my life. Where I feel they are "safe". Some day, when I am ready, I will spread them out in the pasture where he absolutely loved to go out and roam around. I think that is where he'd want to be. For now, I think his remains need to be close to me for awhile anyway. He was only 11. I still feel it was at least two or three years too soon.

 

My eyes are horribly swollen with huge bags under them. I am going to try really hard not to sob today. Thanks for listening.....

[MarcR]

I'm sorry your friend has let you down. One thing that made Nadia's passing easier was that a good friend who was there when I need her.

 

Cry if you need it.

[ozgirl2]

When I got to work last night, I had two cards and a plant on my desk. That was really nice too. Both from people I never thought I was particularly close with.

 

 

Could well be that they've also lost cherished pets as well, and they know what you're going through. People who have not had pets don't really 'get' it, that sometimes we grieve as much or more for a pet than for a family member!! (Well, they ARE family members to me...)

 

Hugs...

[mychip1]

I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling. The loss of our hounds is gut wrenching...and sometimes the ability to cope with it seems overwhelming....to be let down by the few humans you think you can trust, just makes it worse.

 

Jeanine is right...maybe those people who left you a plant have been through such a loss....to others, it's "just the dog".... As far as your friend...even if she isn't an animal person, you would think her caring for you would make her more caring...

 

I hope you can find peace, soon.

[Guest Alysmom]

I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling. The loss of our hounds is gut wrenching...and sometimes the ability to cope with it seems overwhelming....to be let down by the few humans you think you can trust, just makes it worse.

 

Jeanine is right...maybe those people who left you a plant have been through such a loss....to others, it's "just the dog".... As far as your friend...even if she isn't an animal person, you would think her caring for you would make her more caring...

 

I hope you can find peace, soon.

 

Thank you so much. You know, I was thinking about it today. Sad, but true.....the reason I loved my hound so very much (amongst other reasons) is that unconditional love. I haven't had very much "luck" so to speak in my life with humans..... All have let me down, I've never had a person stand by me thick or thin like others seem to. From birth, I was given up, adopted by people that who knows why decided they had to have a baby (all their friends had one).... my dad was great but he died when I was 12..... married twice.... blah blah... sorry I ramble, I guess the point being humans have not been there for me like my animals have - they always let me down. I have had no one other than you on Greytalk who have offered condolences in a real or meaningful way. The two people at work -- those cards were a wonderful surprise. THere's just no one with a shoulder to cry on or support. I guess that is what I expected from a "best friend" -- like I've tried to be there for her....zilch. And yes, she is an "animal person" --- she owns a vet clinic!!! My hound has been that for me thru the years -- now he's gone and I miss him so......

[brandimom]

I hear ya gf and know exactly where you are coming from. My dh had to pick up our two, one last year and one this year