Preparing A Hound For A Loss

[greytluck]

As some of you may know Hobbes has just been diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma and sadly his time left with us is short. I find myself not only worrying about Hobbes though but also about Wally. The two boys are really quite bonded with each other and I don't know how Wally is going to take it. Wally rarely has been left by himself since the day we got him, he is always with Hobbes when we are out or if we do take Hobbes with out him someone has almost always been home with Wally. The few times in the past he was left totally alone (because Hobbes was a the vets) we came home to poop on the floor or things chewed up. Clearly he was stressed about being left alone so I want to be able to get him used to the idea a bit. How do I go about it, should I just do the same steps as alone training and take Hobbes with me. Sorry it's such a depressing topic but but any ideas you can give to make the transition easier would be much appreciated.

[Houndtime]

I am sorry that you are having to deal with this. Hobbes is such a sweet boy.

After we lost Brandy and John E, Paul was alone. He had never been alone and I think he did fine. We adopted Fuzzy only about two weeks after John E left us. I said I didn't think Paul liked being an only dog, but I think that "I" didn't want Paul to be an only dog.

That being said, I know that Fuzzy could not be alone. Even with two other dogs in the house he has SA. I have to crate him when we go out, or when we travel he needs access to a window where he can see out.

I know this sounds cruel, but is it possible to introduce a new dog now? Or select your new dog for the future. I don't know that I could do it, but I do know some people who have brought another in, when their dog was getting older, to be company for the dog who would be left behind.

Again, I am sorry, and I do wish you all the best with this hard decision.

[Guest bigbrindlebunny]

I have no idea, I'm just sending some love.

 

 

[CaliforniaGreys]

This is such an awful thing to have to think about and I really am so sorry.

I think my opinion may be quite different but I really don't think there is a way to prepare them as we think of preparing. And I believe that when the time comes, Wally will know what's going on because I believe they communicate with each other.

I know when Misty had to leave, I had 2 depressed dogs on my hands but at least they had each other.

I hope that someone can give you some ideas that will help

[greytluck]

I am sorry that you are having to deal with this. Hobbes is such a sweet boy.

After we lost Brandy and John E, Paul was alone. He had never been alone and I think he did fine. We adopted Fuzzy only about two weeks after John E left us. I said I didn't think Paul liked being an only dog, but I think that "I" didn't want Paul to be an only dog.

That being said, I know that Fuzzy could not be alone. Even with two other dogs in the house he has SA. I have to crate him when we go out, or when we travel he needs access to a window where he can see out.

I know this sounds cruel, but is it possible to introduce a new dog now? Or select your new dog for the future. I don't know that I could do it, but I do know some people who have brought another in, when their dog was getting older, to be company for the dog who would be left behind.

Again, I am sorry, and I do wish you all the best with this hard decision.

 

Thank you for your reply. I just can't see a new dog in our near future. I just don't think I could handle it emotionally and it wouldn't be fair to a new dog.

[greysmom]

I'm so sorry you're having to think about this in the first place. Hobbes and Wally have always been two of my favorite GT hounds and we're going to miss Hobbes around here.

 

I don't have any advice, just lots of hugs and support. If I were you, I would do what you're thinking and start alone training with Wally now (as long as Hobbes is up for it). You may also want to start crate training if that's a possibility. Some have brought home a new companion prior to the loss, some have waited until after. I think it depends on what you and your home can handle.

 

Hugs

chris

[Houndtime]

I am sorry that you are having to deal with this. Hobbes is such a sweet boy.

After we lost Brandy and John E, Paul was alone. He had never been alone and I think he did fine. We adopted Fuzzy only about two weeks after John E left us. I said I didn't think Paul liked being an only dog, but I think that "I" didn't want Paul to be an only dog.

That being said, I know that Fuzzy could not be alone. Even with two other dogs in the house he has SA. I have to crate him when we go out, or when we travel he needs access to a window where he can see out.

I know this sounds cruel, but is it possible to introduce a new dog now? Or select your new dog for the future. I don't know that I could do it, but I do know some people who have brought another in, when their dog was getting older, to be company for the dog who would be left behind.

Again, I am sorry, and I do wish you all the best with this hard decision.

 

Thank you for your reply. I just can't see a new dog in our near future. I just don't think I could handle it emotionally and it wouldn't be fair to a new dog.

 

I understand. Everyone has to handle their grief in their own way and time.

[GreyPoopon]

Yes, I think alone training is the way to go. A crate may be necessary too, but with or without it, you're going to have to help Wally get used to spending time alone.

 

Wally probably will be depressed when Hobbes goes. Attention and activity might help, but--as with people--it takes time.

 

I'm so sorry you have to face this so soon.

[redlady]

I am so sorry you have to ask this question. I, unfortunately, have no advice either. Training is probably the best route to go, but as others have said, it's just going to take some time.

 

Many hugs to you and your family. I hope you enjoy the rest of the time you have left with your sweet Hobbes.

[Guest dobiegrey]

I think they understand much more than we sometimes give them credit. If at all possible let Wally see and sniff Hobbs after he has gone to the bridge if only for a moment, I have done this with mine and they seem to understand and handle it better, I don't necessarily mean let them watch the process, just let them see that their companion is gone to the bridge.This totally did away with the "looking" for their buddy because they knew. Than take lots of walks and get Wally out of the house as much as you can, I have found that this helps a lot too. If you have play buddies or friends with dogs, get them together. I agree I don't think there is any way to "prepare" Wally other than some alone training so he understands that he will be fine alone and that you will come back to him. I am so sorry you have to go through this, I lost a dog to hermangiosarcoma on the spleen many years ago, it was very sudden because we didn't know she had it, but I really don't think anyone, dog or human can prepare for a loss of someone ,ANYONE, you love.

God Bless you all and many hugs and kissies for your boys.

 

Lou

[Guest eaglflyt]

Could you possibly have playdates with Wally and a friend's dog? Maybe get Wally and a friend's dog to be familiar friends and maybe have the other dog over occasionally? Then, when the time comes, maybe the friend's dog could come over for regular play dates or day visits with Wally to ease the loss of Hobbes a bit? Or, maybe even a foster?

 

I'm so sorry. I'm just trying to think of how to get Wally familiar with another friend so he doesn't feel so alone and where you don't need to make a long term commitment during this time of stress.

 

[Burpdog]

Thank you for your reply. I just can't see a new dog in our near future. I just don't think I could handle it emotionally and it wouldn't be fair to a new dog.

 

Wally has already shown he cannot be alone. Adding that to the loss of his kennel mate may be very difficult.

 

Fostering would be a good way to keep him company. Let him pick his new friend.

 

I agree strongly that you should let Wally sniff Hobbes after Hobbes is gone. Unlike others, I do not agree with having Wally in the room while it is done.

 

Sending many prayers.

[Guest sheila]

I'm not an expert on anything, but my guy instincts are usually pretty right. My gut instinct says it would be futile to work on alone training now. Dogs live in the moment and segregating a dog now from his friend will just confuse and disrupt the dogs life needlessly. There is no real way to *prepare* a dog for an event such as this in advance.

I do agree that letting Wally be close when Hobbes time has come is important. Let Wally sniff/nuzzle Hobbes when that event occurs and I think Wally will instinctively be able to process it all from there. Yes there will be some grief, but that is understandable. To put it in a human perspective......this way Wally will *have closure*.

When we lost Kiowa I left Sammy at home. When I came home with only his collar for her to sniff she paced the house and cried and cried. She was not herself for weeks with pacing and crying. Eventually I was compelled to bring in another dog as a companion for her because she is a dog that NEEDS another dog around her.

[NeylasMom]

I think it's wise to start alone training now if you can, and if Hobbes can handle. You should proceed at a rate that Wally is comfortable with, so the idea would be that it's not overly stressful for him. Having said that, dogs do pick up on stress from owners, when other animals are ill, etc. so you may find it doens't go well, in which case I would just prepare myself for the possibility of taking in a foster or putting Wally on meds until you can do the training once Hobbes is gone (or muzzling him when left alone, etc.).

 

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, but I do appreciate that you are able to think about Wally despite preparing for your own grief, for whatever that's worth.

[Jackandgrey]

This so hard and I'm so sorry you are facing such a grief. I also worried about Jilly when Jack was diagnosed with osteo. I didn't want her to be alone either. Although she didn't have huge separation issues, she had experienced some earlier. For me though I always wanted two dogs so it was just figuring out timing. I didn't ever want the new dog to be a "replacement" dog in my mind. Is a second dog just not something you would want again or just not something you are ready to consider yet?

[gracegirl]

I'm so very sorry that you are faced with this question at all! I tend to agreed with Shiela on this one, there really is no way to prepare Wally for Hobbes passing and any attempts to do any training now will be counter-productive. Why not let them spend the rest of their time together stress free? I believe in having a dog present at the other's passing. If I were in your situation I would take both dogs to the vet, let Wally be there to say goodbye to Hobbes (sniff, etc.)...take all the time you need to say goodbye. THEN, when you get home...begin the alone training. Fenway has never been alone a day in his life so I worry about what would happen if Grace has to go first. She is three years older so chances are that I will face this same situation at some point. Hugs to you and your boys!

[Guest 3greysinPA]

I have no advice because I have not had to deal with anything like this (not yet anyway).

 

but i wanted to say that we are here for you... and to support you.. sending hugs

[Batmom]

Don't know that it is really possible to prepare. If you have daily routines, you'll want to try to stick to those when the time comes.

 

I would not bring in a new dog right now. That would serve only to add stress to the household.

 

I also wouldn't assume that Wally will have serious, ongoing SA when Hobbes is gone. I was sure that Zema would need another dog when we lost Batman. She didn't. Things change .....

 

I understand your worries. Honestly, tho, I'd do your best to take one day at a time.

 

Sending many hugs.

[greytluck]

Thanks for all of your responses, you all have given me a lot to think about. When the time comes to let Hobbes go I'm highly considering having a vet come to our place. I don't know if I would like Wally to actually be in the room but I'll definitely let him sniff his friend to say good bye.

 

Bringing in a new dog, foster or permanent just isn't something I can even consider doing right now. That's not to say I wont ever get another dog but right now just the thought brings tears to my eyes.

Edited December 8, 2009 by greytluck

[EllenEveBaz]

Nutmeg fell apart when Baz died, but she had only been here a short while. I ended up having to get another grey, for her sake, before I was emotionally ready. Although I intended to get her a young, lively playmate, I came home with Scout, a dignified senior. He gave Nutmeg the stability she needed and she bonded closely to him. It took me much longer, but that was okay. He was a bounce who needed a home.

 

Scout died last summer and I thought Nutmeg would go nuts again, but she did much better than I expected. I think keeping to a strict routine helped, and going for lots of walks and rides in the car. A dogsitter had been coming in to help with Scout in his last months, and I kept her on to maintain a constant in Nutmeg's world. But I again got another grey much sooner than I thought because I was the one who just couldn't bear the house being so quiet.

 

Whatever happens, you will come through it. Sending hugs to you and your beloved pups.

Edited December 8, 2009 by EllenEveBaz

[GreytNut]

Unfortunately, it sounds like Wally needs another buddy right away. Raven was the same way... she would poop, tear the house up and mutilate herself if left alone. She even tore the screen out of a window in an attempt to escape the house when left alone for just a couple of hours. We knew when Argus was diagnosed with osteosarcoma that we needed to start looking for a friend for her, even though it was the last thing we felt like doing. I took Raven with Argus to the vet because she couldn't be left at home alone but I had the techs take her in a back room, fuss over her and play with her so she wouldn't know what was happening in the other room. It was silly to think she wouldn't know anyway. When we came home she went into the back yard, lay down and refused to get back up. I had to carry her back inside. The very next morning we headed out to adopt a friend for her. It was hard, but it was necessary.

 

If Wally won't choose a friend, you'll have to make the choice for him. Raven wasn't herself that day and it was hard to judge what she was thinking about the dogs that were presented to her, so I had to choose for her. I based the decision on how the candidates reacted to her and ultimately went with my gut.

[Guest barkdogs]

My vet (who is a wonderful human being) came to the house when my Leo died--it will be one year on December 17. The other animals were present, I had some nice classical music on and I cooked a nice big steak for Leo (mostly) but the rest shared some too. It became a sort of "last supper." Cindy (the vet) hung out until he seemed ready--she gave him a shot to make him sleepy, as he was uncomfortable (he had osteo) and when he fell asleep, she gave him the final shot. My other dogs (4 at the time) seemed OK. I brought each one over after just to sniff him if they wanted.

 

Do what feels right. Best of luck to you and I hope Hobbe's passing will be as peaceful and gentle as Leo's was.

[Guest grey_dreams]

I'm so sorry about Hobbes and that you are worried about Wally. I haven't had to face a situation like this, but I think I would just try to make the remaining time as precious as possible. Wally will understand that Hobbes is very ill. I don't agree that Wally should be present when Hobbes is sent to the bridge. But it would probably help him to be able to see Hobbes afterward. Wally will likely be depressed, but maybe he will be stronger than you think. I think there's no real way to prepare for it, you'll just have to see what happens. Please give both Hobbes and Wally a kiss for me.

[Guest Greensleeves]

We've lost two of our big pack now, and neither time has anyone really reacted much at all. I think they all knew, probably even well before we did, that Whistler and Nelly were dying, and they all accepted it rather as a matter of course. I'm glad for them, in a way. It's not like I wanted them to be sad, of course... but knowing (for example) how much Ladygirl adored her Uncle Whistler, and having read similar stories to the ones above, I guess I expected them to show that they recognized the loss in our household more than they did.

 

I'm really saying that Wally might surprise you and bounce back from this better than you expect.

[greytluck]

We had to let Hobbes go on Monday morning and as I was afraid, Wally has taken the loss very hard. We had every intention of bringing Wally with us when we said goodbye as was suggested but unfortunately when the time came Hobbes was so weak, it took both my husband and I to get him down to the car, and poor Wally (I hate to even write it)was just sort of forgotten about. I feel so much guilt about not allowing Wally a proper goodbye which I know is probably not helping the situation, but I can't help it.

 

My biggest concern right now is that he hasn't eaten for two day, and I mean nothing. He wont even look at his kibble, and treats he will take but will just spit them back out. I even made him some homemade rice and beef but he still wasn't interested. He wasn't drinking either for the first day but today I noticed the water dish was down half way so that is one stress off my mind. I know a healthy dog wont starve themselves but how long will they hold out for, this is really worrying me.

 

Between the time my husband leaves for work and I come home Wally is only by himself for around 30 -45 minutes, yet both days I came home to things chewed and pee on the dog bed. My husband took him out before he left so I'm sure this is because of SA. We did work on it when Hobbes was still with us, taking Hobbes for car rides and leaving Wally at home for 20 minutes or so. Surprisingly Wally was good most of the times we left him, but things are different now and I'm sure Wally knows it.

Wally just isn't himself at all, he is just moping around the house, mainly staying in the bedroom where Hobbes would spend the majority of his time. He only plays if we initiate it(which we have been doing quite a bit),where he used to play by himself all the time. Ever sound in our condo hallway, brings him running to the door presumably to see if Hobbes is back, he never used to care what was going on in the hall. The saddest thing for me was yesterday Wally had gathered Hobbes' belly bands and took them to his bed to lie on, I don't know if Wally did this intentionally or not but it sure brought me to tears. Wally used to be such a big goof, I hope he gets back to himself soon as I don't like to see him depressed and I myself could sure use some of his antics right now.

 

I guess I'm not looking for advice (but will gladly take it). I just need to get it out and have someone tell me it will be okay. I know it will probably be suggested but another dog just isn't in the cards at this time. Maybe in a few months but not right now.