Heart Breaking Decision

[Guest Amis_Ma]

We've had Ami for 6mts now and had issues from day 1 and they've only gotten worse. It started with turning on us while out for walks when we wouldn't allow her to approach other dogs, and redirecting her away from a bone. She barks, growls, bares her teeth, and has attempted to bite us several times. Adoption agency refused to belive we had an aggressive dog until we brought her over for training. They tried approaching a bone she was chewing and she tried biting her and was full of aggression. Nobody could get near her. They used some kind of a fake hand to remove it and she bite the hand.

 

We started one-on-one training which did help with some behaviours but not with the aggression and her willingness to lash out at us.

 

She can be cuddly, sweet, and gentle and she can turn.

 

SInce the winter weather has arrived she REFUSES to go outside, not even to pee/poo therefore she does this in our house. We try countless times to get her out adn when we approach her she lashes out at us. I have no doubt that she would bite us.

 

We have another dog trainer coing to our home this Thursday and if this doesn't help we have no other choice but to return her (which we were told by adoption agency that they wouldn't take her back due to her aggression),

 

I love her so so much and will do anything to keep her but we're at a point where we're fearful to be around her

 

I'm desperate and don't know what to do! I've tried everything.

 

Desperate for help.

 

[Guest Celestrina]

Never be ashamed to admit that a dog is not a good fit. The adoption agency would not take her back?

[Hubcitypam]

Totally agree. There is no shame in admitting it is not a good fit.

[brandimom]

It happens and don't beat yourself up. I am a placement rep for our group and we do take dogs back. Just had one bounce back to our group after they had the dog for one week. The dog did not work for them but we found another home and the dog works for them. Good luck!

[Brandiandwe]

Do you have any other groups in the area who will be more supportive?

 

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

[Guest Amis_Ma]

I'm a first time dog owner and not sure that if I rehome her that I will ever be a dog owner agian:(

[Guest Wasserbuffel]

Has she been muzzled the whole time? Or are what you call attempts at bites just warning snaps? There's going to be a big difference in approach depending on your answer. Like the other say, no shame in admitting it's a bad fit.

 

If she's just being fear reactive or just a grumpy cuss, it's possible she'd be fine in a different home. My grey can be reactive. She's snapped at me and DH on multiple occasions, mostly in the first year we had her, and will snap at children who get in her face when she's laying down. I manage her environment to avoid what I know triggers her. When kids come to visit she's muzzled at all times.

 

I've worked on trading up with her, but she'll still object with bared teeth if I tried to take a raw bone from her. I make sure she's got chews available that she's not prone to guarding, and on the occasions when I give her a meaty bone I do so when I've got the time to let her finish her chew so I don't have to take it from her.

[Yamaha_gurl]

Where in Canada are you? In Ontario, there are many adoption groups I can put you into contact with, that could possibly take her.

[MaryJane]

Return the dog to the group that you got her from. If they will not take her, try another group.

 

Later you can decide whether you want to get another dog or not.

[Brandiandwe]

Think this through. You have a behaviourist coming in. Either they'll be able to help you and Ami work through this or it will be decided that Ami and you are not the best fit. This happens. It sounds as though she might be a handful for even an experienced dog owner! So you will be doing the right thing for everyone if you rehome her. As for another dog, I guess I wonder why you would feel that. I can understand a mixture of fear, apprehension, guilt and failure. I DO NOT think you've done anything which warrants feeling guilty or a failure, unless you've done something to provoke that type of reaction from Ami. Working on good faith, I'll assume not, and tell you that it is as easy to love the dog who is right for you, as it is to love the dog who isn't.

 

Reach out for support with local groups and trust that you will make the right decision. You will find that the right grey is sitting waiting for you to find them.

[Houndmommy03]

As others have said, there is no shame in having a hound that isn't a good fit. If I understand correctly, your adoption group will NOT take her back? What are they suggesting you do? Is there another group in your area that can help you? I'm really sorry you are in this position. Hopefully there is another group that can help you. I'm hoping someone here can give you some guidance.

Edited December 3, 2013 by Houndmommy03

[Guest Amis_Ma]

I was in contact with the adoption agency and they will take her back if I decide to do so. I meet with the new trainer this Thurs for a 1 on 1 here at the house and have signed up for a 6 week obedience program starting in January. Please send us positive vibes that this helps....I don't want to rehome her...I love her and she's part of our little family.

 

Ever since our first snow fall she started refusing to go outside.

 

NOt giving up just yet...

[sarabz]

My heart goes out to you. You are clearly doing everything you can to make this work.

 

However, it's good that your group will take her back and rehome her if needed - knowing that option exists hopefully makes things somewhat easier than feeling as though you're backed into a corner.

 

Do keep us posted - the people on here have dealt with every situation that exists with hounds, or at least that's my view. You'll get tons and tons of advice but do what makes sense to you.

 

Many hugs-

[Brandiandwe]

Has she ever seen snow before? I'm wondering if you know anyone with a greyhound nearby who may be able to come by and help?

[ramonaghan]

My heart goes out to you. You are clearly doing everything you can to make this work.

 

This. You are definitely to be commended for everything you have tried so far, and are continuing to do. It's clear you're attached to her and will return her only as a last resort, but as others have said, there's no shame if it comes to that. Wishing you the best!

[KickReturn]

I admire your efforts. If you have to give back the dog you may feel sad but please don't feel guilty about anything. Your safety must be a priority.

 

Also I have serious questions about an agency that would allow a dog with these issues to end up in the home of a first time dog owner. Somebody goofed up IMO. This is quite unfair because of course we fall in love with our dogs regardless of their challenges and then face these terrible decisions.

 

I was a first time owner and was assured that the dog I was getting was a good "starter" dog. That's the way it should be.

[JJNg]

The behavior described doesn't mean that Ami is an aggressive dog. It sounds like she is very stressed and insecure, and hasn't learned to trust you. There are many reasons this can happen, and sometimes we unknowingly make things worse by how we interact with dogs. Interactions that may seem natural and loving from a human perspective can be scary and intimidating from a dog's perspective. Some dogs are just more sensitive to handling and body language than others, and one with Ami's issues will especially be challenging for first time owners.

 

While you've mentioned that you've "tried everything", you haven't given any details about what exactly you've tried, and what kinds of training methods you've used. Any kind of confrontational or dominance-based approach runs the risk of making aggressive behavior worse. I hope the trainer you have coming out is one who uses rewards and positive reinforcement, has a sound understanding of learning theory, and can apply methods like desensitization and counter-conditioning.

 

The bottom line comes down to how much you feel like you can handle, how committed you are to making it work, and perhaps accepting that Ami may always have some limitations on what she can tolerate. There is nothing wrong with coming to the decision that she is not the right dog for your family. If you choose to keep and work with her, there are a lot of resources available.

[Hawthorn]

I'm sorry you're going through this and hope the trainer can help.

 

If you do decide to return Ami to the adoption agency, do you know if they would actually try to rehome her and not just destroy her? Obviously I have no knowledge of this agency at all so don't know if this is a valid concern but I have known of agencies that would destroy a dog accused of aggression rather than rehome it.

[winnie]

I'm a first time dog owner and not sure that if I rehome her that I will ever be a dog owner agian:(

 

If this is the only reason you're considering keeping her, please reconsider. My DH and I had to return a cat we adopted once that was not a good fit for our pack. The adoption group in no way held this against us and later let us adopt two other cats. Our greyhound group has had people return dogs that weren't a good fit and then placed other dogs with them.

[Guest Amis_Ma]

Thank you all for the kind support and suggestions, I am grateful <3 We managed to get Ami out on the back deck last night for a pee and poop, definitely not something we want to make a habit out of but it's better than in the house. Ami and I had a serious talk last night and I told her that I am willing to continue working with her and that I'm not ready to give up just yet. She gave me a nice long snuggle and promised she too would do her best.

 

The new trainer is coming to our home tomorrow evening for our first 1-on-1 session. After a few of these we will be starting a 6-week obedience class beginning in January.

 

The adoption agency contacted us last night and offered to pay to have her thyroid tested.

 

I will keep you all posted on how our first session goes! I am feeling much more positive today

 

Again thank you for all your support! There's gotta be a reason why the Universe sent me a difficult doggie.

Edited December 4, 2013 by Amis_Ma

[Guest Amis_Ma]

Winnie: If I were to rehome Ami I'm not sure that I would get another due to the fact that I'd be fearful of receiving another difficult dog; I knew there would be an adjustment period but I wasn't expecting this

Edited December 4, 2013 by Amis_Ma

[winnie]

Winnie: If I were to rehome Ami I'm not sure that I would get another due to the fact that I'd be fearful of receiving another difficult dog; I knew there would be an adjustment period but I wasn't expecting this

 

Ah, OK. I thought you were afraid the adoption agency wouldn't give you another dog if you returned one.

 

In my opinion, your adoption agency failed you. Our group picks out dogs for new adopters for a reason. Our first greyhound was soooo easy.

 

Hope things work out for the best.

[Houndmommy03]

Glad to hear your group will take her back if needed. My first greyhound ended up being a very difficult dog so I know how painful this is for you. Good luck with the trainer! As for the snow, would shoveling a path and area to do her business help?

[greysmom]

I second what Jjng mentioned about your new trainer. Please make sure this trainer practices positive reinforcement training methods and has a solid understanding of how dogs learn. Greyhounds do NOT react well to dominance-based methods and this can be very detrimental to what you're trying to accomplish with her.

 

Thyroid testing is a good place to start and probably should have been done first, along with a full vet examination to determine if there was anything medical going on. There is anecdotal evidence that low thyroid can cause fear-based aggression in some greys. You need to have a full thyroid panel done, not just the regular lab testing.

 

In the meantime, your girl should probably be wearing her muzzle when you need to interact with her. If that's most of the time, for now, then that's what it is. She probably won't like it much, but greyhounds are used to wearing them, and it is a way to help keep you and your family safe® from being bitten. Clip on her leash when it's time to go out and potty. If she will come back in OK on her own, then you can unleash her when you're outside to do her business. Make sure you give her LOTS of happy praise and yummy treats when she eliminates outside in the snow and cold.

 

Good luck.

[Guest grey_dreams]

 

The new trainer is coming to our home tomorrow evening for our first 1-on-1 session. After a few of these we will be starting a 6-week obedience class beginning in January.

 

The adoption agency contacted us last night and offered to pay to have her thyroid tested.

 

I will keep you all posted on how our first session goes! I am feeling much more positive today

 

Again thank you for all your support! There's gotta be a reason why the Universe sent me a difficult doggie.

 

What kind of trainer is coming to your house? What kind of methods do they use? You really need to steer clear of any trainer that uses any kind of dominance or punishment. You need to find a trainer that understands dog language and uses only positive methods.

 

And yes, it's nice to have an easy dog, but working through a relationship with a "difficult" dog can teach us so much about ourselves