She's So Submissive, She's Boring. Help!

[robinw]

I bet your dog is communicating with you--you just don't yet know how to interpret her sign language. For example, I now know that when Molly points her nose and then stands like a statute pointing in a certain direction during our walks, that means she wants to walk that way.

 

 

Slowly learning her signals. When she makes monkey noises, paces and stands by the door or baby gate it means, "I have to take the worlds biggest poop. Take me out NOW!" And on walks when she starts sniffing in circles very intently it means that we better get the bag ready cause it's coming.

 

Speaking of bathroom breaks on the walks, she seems to get distracted easily. She'll start to squat and then change her mind. Sometimes she'll go on the first try, sometimes it will take her another block of intense sniffing and half squatting. Is this a normal greyhound thing?

I think it's normal for a dog who is still investigating her new world

[Guest mbfilby]

 

I understand what you're trying to say, but she doesn't have any problems like those. She's never been punished for anything because she's never done anything. We would love her to go on the furniture, but she won't do it. She doesn't seem to know how to jump, doesn't counter surf, doesn't get into the trash, doesn't have any separation anxiety aside from 3 or 4 barks when we first leave her. The only time she ever growled at me was when she was demolishing a pig ear and it had gotten to be the perfect size for her to choke on, so I tried to take it. She wasn't thrilled with that, and I don't blame her one bit.

 

And seriously? The social skills of a six year old human? Dogs are better trained than most children are.

 

It sounds to me like you know a bit about dogs, and it sounds like you have an almost perfect hound.

 

As many have already said, it does take some time for a grey to open up fully. Most greys' personality continue to evolve throughout their lives.

 

I would contact the group you got her from, as a grey may not be the best fit for you. Although it's rare, I have seen other greys returned for being too docile.

 

I am a bit surprised that you were not better coached on what to expect.

[Guest sillyrabbit]

You may just have the perfect, most relaxed dog around. Have you thought about a 2nd, more playful dog? One that you can go run with or play tug with? My Carmen is my "go to" playful dog and then my lab is my outside "go hiking" dog.

 

Good luck to you. By the way, what is your dogs name? Do you have any photos? How old is she?

 

In a lot of ways she is perfect. Aloofness is really the only complaint I have. Well, that and the farts. But we were warned about those.

 

I've definitely been lobbying for a second dog, but since we've only had her for a month, the boyfriend has suggested we wait a bit.

 

Her name is Circe and she's almost 4 years old. I have a ton of pictures and videos (including one of the boyfriend trying to brush her teeth. She put up with it astonishingly well.), but nothing on the computer, they're all on my phone. She's brown brindle.

 

 

I would contact the group you got her from, as a grey may not be the best fit for you. Although it's rare, I have seen other greys returned for being too docile.

 

I am a bit surprised that you were not better coached on what to expect.

 

Oh I have no interest in returning her. She's my dog. I would only return her if it was something big, like if she kept biting or growling at me.

 

We were coached, and it's not even the docile part that bothers me, I just want her to show a little bit of direct interest in me. Even just tail wagging would be nice. Every now and again it happens, usually when we're about to go on a walk.

[DesiRayMom]

Patience.....it'll happen. I've had DesiRay just over a year. It was several months before he took off on his first zoomie. He still won't play

with toys, even though his step-brother has brought him every toy we own & showed him how. Just in the past few months he's started doing a

"happy dance" when I come in from work or wherever. His most favorite thing is to climb up in bed with me & cuddle.

 

I feel like he looked at me as just another pit-stop...here today, gone tomorrow..or next week...or next month. Finally after a year, I think

he realizes that maybe this time there won't be another pit-stop. This is forever.

[Guest mbfilby]

 

Oh I have no interest in returning her. She's my dog. I would only return her if it was something big, like if she kept biting or growling at me.

 

We were coached, and it's not even the docile part that bothers me, I just want her to show a little bit of direct interest in me. Even just tail wagging would be nice. Every now and again it happens, usually when we're about to go on a walk.

 

Actually, it is fairly common for first time grey adopters to get bitten, and even more common for them to get snapped and growled at. It is also IMO not a great reason to return a pup.

 

Honestly, I believe that she will warm up in time. Cy hid from us completely for a month. We actually had to pick him up and place him on the furniture once he decided we weren't going to kill him. For the next month, he would put his front paws on what ever object he wanted (bed, couch, loveseat) and look over at us with a pathetic "help me" look, and we would have to lift his rear end on to the object.

 

 

It is very very common for greys to be a bit standoffish at first.

[EnzaFerrari]

Er...As a first time dog owner, Enza has never ever bitten me and she has never snarled at me. Made it clear she wasn't thrilled when I stood up and she lost her pillow, yes. Play growled when we were running around like lunatics outside, yes. But never growled in anger.

 

There is laying out reality and then there is trying to scare/intimidate people who have asked questions.

 

I got my girl three years ago and for the first three months or so, she did nothing. Nothing. I was convinced I had broken her, she hated me, she was bored, I was going to have to return her because she was not the dog for me.

 

Thank god my friends told me I was nuts.

 

Enza is now a spoiled rotten diva, royal pain in the butt who is demonstrative, affectionate, and opinionated. She just did laps in the small dogpark and is still climbing the walls. I'm still pretty sure I broke her. You wanna trade?

 

Personality, trust, and energy does happen over time and it is the best thing in the world to watch. I promise you that your pup will emerge. I encourage the dog training and lots of dog walks. There is always this moment when you realize how your dog was wedded him or herself to your heart and that instant in time is worth all the "what in the world are we doings".

[Guest mbfilby]

Er...As a first time dog owner, Enza has never ever bitten me and she has never snarled at me. Made it clear she wasn't thrilled when I stood up and she lost her pillow, yes. Play growled when we were running around like lunatics outside, yes. But never growled in anger.

 

There is laying out reality and then there is trying to scare/intimidate people who have asked questions.

 

I got my girl three years ago and for the first three months or so, she did nothing. Nothing. I was convinced I had broken her, she hated me, she was bored, I was going to have to return her because she was not the dog for me.

 

Thank god my friends told me I was nuts.

 

Enza is now a spoiled rotten diva, royal pain in the butt who is demonstrative, affectionate, and opinionated. She just did laps in the small dogpark and is still climbing the walls. I'm still pretty sure I broke her. You wanna trade?

 

Personality, trust, and energy does happen over time and it is the best thing in the world to watch. I promise you that your pup will emerge. I encourage the dog training and lots of dog walks. There is always this moment when you realize how your dog was wedded him or herself to your heart and that instant in time is worth all the "what in the world are we doings".

 

I didn't say EVERY new adopter gets bitten. Can you count the number of times someone's first post on here is "Help, my Grey Growled", or "Help, My Grey Bit Me"? I certainly can't..

 

I've been involved with many first time adopters who get snapped at or growled at. It is fairly common. I'm not trying to scare/intimidate anyone. I'm pointing out that IMVHO that is not a great reason in and of itself to return a dog.

[shawna]

Its only been a month? Heck, Mojo didn't come out of my bedroom for the first month I had him. And when he did, I had to have the door open so he could make a beeline down the hall and through the door. Getting him back inside was a whole other ballgame.

 

I would say that since she's following you around, that she's interested in what you're doing. Pet her, love on her when she does this. She's trying to figure out what her new pack is doing and where she fits into the hierarchy.

 

I had a grey who, once he settled in, followed me from room to room, got upset when I went to the bathroom without him, cried when the car drove off without him, and learned to roo with me. When I first got him, all he did was look pitiful and follow me around with a look of, "I'm lost, now what" on his face.

 

It gets better. Just give it some time.

[Guest sillyrabbit]

Actually, it is fairly common for first time grey adopters to get bitten, and even more common for them to get snapped and growled at. It is also IMO not a great reason to return a pup.

 

Honestly, I believe that she will warm up in time. Cy hid from us completely for a month. We actually had to pick him up and place him on the furniture once he decided we weren't going to kill him. For the next month, he would put his front paws on what ever object he wanted (bed, couch, loveseat) and look over at us with a pathetic "help me" look, and we would have to lift his rear end on to the object.

 

 

Well, either way. She's not aggressive towards us so it's not an issue. Moving on.

 

We had to do the same thing with her to her dog bed. Picked her up and placed her on it. Which of course just meant that she would do the greyhound freeze and just stand there quietly freaking out. Ended up trying to lure her onto it with a trail of kibble. Eventually she decided that beds are comfortable. Walked downstairs and was like, "holy crap! She's on her bed!! YAYYY!"

[Xan]

Welcome, Sillyrabbit.

I hear you! As so many of us here, my first greyhound experience was like yours. I had inherited a small poodle, who was my only previous dog experience. When Brilly joined us, I thought I was making him miserable, since he rarely seemed interested or happy with anything. Like several have said, it took months before he seemed to care or understand that we were his new family, that he could count on us, and care about us; connect with us. We had to leave town for a long weekend towards the end of our first year with him, and when we picked him up from the sitters (his original foster family), he was ... THRILLED! He bounced and twirled, bumped us, wagged at us, grinning like an ape the whole time. After that, the bond continued to grow, and each year has meant more and more personality developing, and us being able to read each other and respond to each others' moods better and better. He now groans with joy to lay his head in our laps, leaps to plant kisses on my husband's cheek, tolerates the grasping hands of grandchildren, and has destroyed his share of stuffies.

I second (or third) the suggestions to do some active positive reinforcement training (clicker training is awesome) with her. It's a great way to engage with your dog. By doing this, she'll learn how to communicate with you, that engaging with you is a rewarding thing and over time, build a strong and trusting relationship with you. You'll also be interacting with her intensely and really start to see the ways she does interact come to really appreciate it. A formal class is great, but you can also totally do this on your own. I also can't emphasize enough that it's not uncommon at all for these guys to take a long time to show more overt aspects of their personality. It's like slowly peeling away the layers of an onion over the course of months and even years.

This is fabulous advice, in my mind. Here's an example of a lazy-quick way to start being suddenly interesting: Every time your girl goes to bed, say happily, "Good Bed! Good girl!" and toss her a treat. A few times of that, and she's going to start looking to you for these magic moments. Pick other behaviors you might want to have on command, like Sit (catch her in that moment before she's all the way down, and praise-treat), or bow (catch her when she does that big stretch with front legs down and butt in the air), or Down ..... The possibilities become endless as you watch for them. When she learns that good things can happen because of something she does, she'll have learned to learn, and start offering behavior to you so that you can respond.

 

Speaking of bathroom breaks on the walks, she seems to get distracted easily. She'll start to squat and then change her mind. Sometimes she'll go on the first try, sometimes it will take her another block of intense sniffing and half squatting. Is this a normal greyhound thing?

Oh, completing her business is a great one to catch as a behavior to put on command, by the way. Helps her to focus and wrap it up if there might be a treat in it for her.

 

I wish I knew then what I've learned since, but we all start somewhere, and greys can be mysterious at first. There are lots of really wonderful positive training books out, if you haven't dipped into that resource yet. Your pup is a puzzle to you, as you are to her, for now. Enjoy learning about each other!

 

 

[Hubcitypam]

Actually, it is fairly common for first time grey adopters to get bitten, and even more common for them to get snapped and growled at .

I have never found this to be the case.

[robinw]

Actually, it is fairly common for first time grey adopters to get bitten, and even more common for them to get snapped and growled at .

I have never found this to be the case.

I agree with Pam. That's not to say that it never happens, but I don't know how common it is.

[Yamaha_gurl]

When I first got him, all he did was look pitiful and follow me around with a look of, "I'm lost, now what" on his face.

 

 

 

I just want to comment on this. I remember reading something on here about this. Greyhounds have been told what to do all their lives, when to eat, when to race, when to pee, and when to sleep...that's why greyhounds will walk around following thinking "Now what?". Am I right? I'm sure I read that on here.

[Hubcitypam]

I just want to comment on this. I remember reading something on here about this. Greyhounds have been told what to do all their lives, when to eat, when to race, when to pee, and when to sleep...that's why greyhounds will walk around following thinking "Now what?". Am I right? I'm sure I read that on here.

More than a few greyhounds spend a larger portion of their lives of their lives foot loose and fancy free doing as they please on the farm than they do at the track (and that can come on both ends of their career if there is one). There are lots of greys on here that never left the farm, dogs with no races, 23 races, dogs that retire at 2.5...

 

Those dogs by and large spent more time running free in the outside runs or free to come and go in their inside outside run on the farm than they ever did being told what to do in every aspect of their lives. That includes many broodies.

 

I'd venture very few NGA breeders have told puppies under a year what to do -- they are pretty much on their own with their litter in the runs.....

Edited March 26, 2011 by Hubcitypam

[Guest mbfilby]

Actually, it is fairly common for first time grey adopters to get bitten, and even more common for them to get snapped and growled at .

I have never found this to be the case.

I agree with Pam. That's not to say that it never happens, but I don't know how common it is.

 

Honestly. I can not tell you how many many times I've read on this very board where humans have tried to share space with new dogs and got growled at on the couch, snapped at on the bed, or bitten leaning over the dog bed etc... Am I the only one? I see a thread like this once a month it seems to me. Maybe not..

[greytluck]

Actually, it is fairly common for first time grey adopters to get bitten, and even more common for them to get snapped and growled at .

I have never found this to be the case.

I agree with Pam. That's not to say that it never happens, but I don't know how common it is.

 

Honestly. I can not tell you how many many times I've read on this very board where humans have tried to share space with new dogs and got growled at on the couch, snapped at on the bed, or bitten leaning over the dog bed etc... Am I the only one? I see a thread like this once a month it seems to me. Maybe not..

 

People post when there is a problem not usually when everything is working out fine. This can make it seem like there are more problems then there are. It's the same thing with H&M.

Edited March 26, 2011 by greytluck

[seeh2o]

I agree with much of what has already been said here. I've had dogs all my life, but none of them were like my greyhounds. It does take a long while to earn their trust and once that happens, their personalities begin to reveal themselves like peeling an onion. I have a very very shy girl, Claire, she wouldn't be in the same room with me for the longest time, wouldn't look me in the eye, etc. She is still shy, but not with me. She tears around the house throwing her toys, carrying them around when she's happy, etc. She won't get on the furniture or on my bed, but she will get on the couch a my boyfriend's house and when I've taken her on trips she actually will get on the bed in the hotel. I figure she will get on my bed when she is good and ready to do it and not until then. I have had her brother (littermate), Carl, longer than I've had Claire. When I first brought him home I wasn't sure if he hated me or was indifferent to me. Years later he is a very loving boy, sleeps on my bed with me and now presents himself for loving and petting. I never in a million years thought he would do that. He is a very confident boy, not shy at all.

 

Do you know other people here in LA who have greyhounds? Which group did you adopt her from? Most area groups will have get togethers, it is interesting to see how they interact with other greyhounds, it is also helpful to get to know others in the area. I've made some friends with people from a couple of groups and it has been really helpful. We get together with and without the dogs, go for walks in Griffith Park, etc. The group that adopted us (Carl was from an all breed rescue group in the high desert and the group that adopted Carl and I sponsored Claire to come in from OK's Halfway Home for Greyhounds) offered a lot of coaching for me when Carl started to show some really awful separation anxiety. If your group has someone like that they can work with you as well. The group that adopted us did it for free. I owe them a debt of gratitude and volunteer when I can, donate and donate items to their fundraisers. It's the least I can do for all they did for us.

 

I also went to an obedience class with Carl, not that he wasn't obedient, but it really helped us bond and built trust between us. It was an all breed obedience class, it was a great experience for both of us and made a big difference for us.

Edited March 26, 2011 by seeh2o

[Hubcitypam]

Actually, it is fairly common for first time grey adopters to get bitten, and even more common for them to get snapped and growled at .

I have never found this to be the case.

I agree with Pam. That's not to say that it never happens, but I don't know how common it is.

 

Honestly. I can not tell you how many many times I've read on this very board where humans have tried to share space with new dogs and got growled at on the couch, snapped at on the bed, or bitten leaning over the dog bed etc... Am I the only one? I see a thread like this once a month it seems to me. Maybe not..

People do post problems on this site. People that adopt from at last count I thought about 160 groups in the US and some in Canada and worldwide. I have never personally known of a first time adopter that I placed a dog with that bit a first time adopter. If you think with all those groups and all the dogs adopted every month by all those groups a geowl and snap by a first grey once a month would actually have to really be rare occurance -- not common and a bite more uncommon.

Edited March 26, 2011 by Hubcitypam

[Guest Adrianne]

I've had three greyhounds, and, of the three, only my current boy, Chevy, came in like gangbusters oozing personality from the get-go. He's my happy-go-lucky fun boy, alway making mischief and finding trouble.

 

My first boy, Wilbur, my heart & soul boy, came in pretty calm & sedate like what your Circe sounds like. I was extremely limited in greyhound knowledge back then, and I didn't know how a greyhound was supposed to act. He seemed comfortable here, and we had fun teaching him things like how to get in and out of the van and how to climb the three steps into my studio. He didn't know anything; he truly was like a little child, and I often referred to him (still do) as my third son. He didn't play with stuffy toys. One night we tried to get him in a playful mood by piling every single stuffy toy on top of him as he stretched out in the living room; I have some great photos of him sleeping under a pile of stuffies, but no luck getting him to play. He was an old soul, even at 4 years old.

 

So, life just carried on for months......I'm not sure how long. Wilbur was comfortable, but he didn't seem to feel any great bond toward any of us. Or so I thought. One evening we watched a movie that brought up some painful thoughts to me, and at the end of the movie I was crying pretty hard. As my hubby and sons started offering words of comfort to me, all of a sudden there was Wilbur. He pressed his body up against mine and would not move until I finished crying. Our bond was cemented. And from that day forward, if I was hurt or in pain or crying for whatever reason, Wilbur glued himself to me until I was better. It could be 5 minutes, it could be 2 hours, but he wouldn't leave my side. I don't think there's anything that dog wouldn't have done for me.

 

My point in telling you this is this: you're building your bond right now. And though it may seem you're giving & doing, giving & doing and getting nothing (not even an acknowledgment) back, trust me when I say she'll give back 1000 times what you give her today. There probably won't be a flashing light or clap of thunder to announce the change; it will probably sneak up on you. But keep loving her and taking care of her, and one day your heart will be full with all the love she gives back.

Edited March 26, 2011 by Adrianne

[Jackandgrey]

Honestly? Just give her time. When I do home visits I tell new adopters that their new dog will often behave like a very polite stranger in their home for quite a while. It can take several weeks to months for the dog to even realize that they actually live there now and that you are their people. That they are not merely a guest in your home and will be moving on yet again. Remember although she may like you, she doesn't really know yet. She is not yet bonded with you.

 

It is impossible to say when that magic moment will be for your dog but when it does happen, then you will see her attach to you in ways that will absolutely warm your heart. I would second all the training suggestions but it has only been a month! That is nothing, really nothing! And I just bet in 6 months or a year you will look back on this thread and just shake your head.

[BertnLil]

My point in telling you this is this: you're building your bond right now. And though it may seem you're giving & doing, giving & doing and getting nothing (not even an acknowledgment) back, trust me when I say she'll give back 1000 times what you give her today. There probably won't be a flashing light or clap of thunder to announce the change; it will probably sneak up on you. But keep loving her and taking care of her, and one day your heart will be full with all the love she gives back.

 

What a perfect way to describe it.

Lily took almost a year to develop into the goofy lovable girl she is today. Like everyone has said, give her time.

[Guest 4dogscrazy]

I agree with time...my first didn't bark for three months, I thought she couldn't! My second didn't wag her tail for six months. Its pretty amazing we stuck with her, she did not like me at all when we met. Stood at the other end of a six foot leash and glared at me. But, she loved my daughter (who was ten) and all her friends. We stuck it out and she loves me and trusts me now. We've had her three years and about six months ago she started climbing up on my finance's lap. She didn't like him either (she came first) and would block him from going down the hall. It was a lot of work but we were committed. The third and only boy walked into the house like he's always been here, he was also the youngest. He has the most "personality" but I like the girls calmness more. It just takes a long time for some, and their past experiences matter a lot. Tempe the first, was the oldest and raced for a long long time. Integration was hard on her. Piper broke her leg and I wonder if she was in a lot of pain which made her wary. Jesse was a farm favorite...you can just tell he was spoiled rotten good luck, they are worth the effort!

[Guest sweetpea]

Oh, I was so offended, and I only got to "she's so boring" in your title!

(I've calmed down now... )

 

I second (or 3rd, or 12th) the idea of a basic obedience class.

Not that you're not capable of teaching her on your own, but the group outing can be

a fun time for both of you. Sweetpea and I had a blast, her bff was a big tripod

chocolate lab, who was a little too exhuberant for his owner's liking.

(Guiness' mom asked if they could sit by us, since Sweetpea had such a calming affect on him.)

 

I've had Sweetpea almost 4 years now, and for most of those 4 years she's been quiet as a church mouse.

No whining, hardly ever barked, the most noise we got out of her was when she'd blow out her cheeks like a horse.

 

Well, a couple of months ago she decided that she didn't want to be left alone in her room after

dinner anymore, so now she yells at us to let her out.

It's not a whine, and not quite a bark, just a short sharp, "hey!"

And we're so well trained we hop up and let her come join us.

 

It seems so long ago when she came home, but if I were to compare that dog to the one who now lives here, I'm

not sure she would be recognizable as the same dog.

 

Patience grasshopper.....

 

Buzzy

[HJsM]

Time and patience are the key words...have been mentioned in several previous posts so no new information.

 

My joke about greyhounds is that they are looking for owners who have a library card and a Netflix queue and that kind of activity makes them pretty darn happy as lazy as they can be sometimes.

 

I felt that way somewhat about my first greyhound..particularly as he would not sample any of the fabulous toys that I bought him in the first weeks. Suddenly, in about week 4 or so, I heard "squeeky squeeky squeeky" from the next room and VOILA....I had a playing fool on my hands after that. He ALWAYS enjoyed his walks, however, and that was good enough for the moment.

 

All this to say that his personality slowly emerged and I found out I had a smart/goofy/loving dog on my hands who went on to get his CGC and accompany me on all kinds of adventures. He's 13.7 now and we are still having a good time after almost 10 year. Your doggie will get there with time, too ./

[EllenEveBaz]

Circe is a beautiful name. I'll add my vote to the "give her time" column. Some other random comments:

 

1) Since she enjoys running in your BF's mother's yard, try engaging her there. Act silly and pretend to chase or run from her. Do the human version of a playbow. Try tossing an animal-looking stuffy in front of her as she's zooming around and see if she goes for it. If nothing else, practice the "come" command with lots of praise and rewards once she's gotten her ya-ya's out.

 

2) Large amounts of poop and farts -- this can be a grey's reaction to the stress of adjustment, or it could mean she would digest another food better. Or both. You might want to think about cautiously transitioning her to another food.

 

3) Growling over a threatened pig's ear -- There are different philosophies of dealing with growling at a human, but I belong to the Zero Tolerance school. I use the Voice of God and body language to demand the dog back off the treat, fast. Then I praise. Other, smarter people start training by letting the dog trade up to an even yummier treat as a reward for "drop it" or "leave it." Also, the pig ear might be contributing to the problem above.

 

4) As suggested before, can you meet up with other dogs/humans for a fun playdate? Another grey might be best for relaxation for her and talking with other grey folks for you.

 

Best wishes for you and your pup!

Edited March 26, 2011 by EllenEveBaz