I Feel Awful

[Guest tbrodzel]

So I am a new dog owner and new to greyhounds. I did all this research on the breed and really felt they were the perfect one for me. We have had our girl since November and I love her dearly. I have so many pictures of her and every day she does something cute or funny.

 

But lately I find myself wishing I had a more cuddly dog. I guess I misunderstood when everything I read and heard said greyhounds are social and like to be loved, etc. I am the type that wants a dog that is attached to me and my family. Our girl likes to be in the same room with us (most times), but she doesn't like anyone too close to her. It doesn't even seem like she wants to be pet all that much. If I sit on the couch near her and start to pet, she will give me a warning growl. She is very particular about not having her tail or back end touched. She kind of does her own thing, and will tolerate most things if food is involved. I just feel sad because I want a dog I can be close to and pet and she doesn't want that. She is 5 years old now, so perhaps her life in a kennel has made it so she needs to have her space cushion or something.

 

I guess sometimes I feel guilty that I wish she were different or a different dog. BUT I wouldn't trade her for the world. I guess I have to come to grips with the fact that we will have to be acquaintances and no more (her choice not mine)

 

[CaliforniaGreys]

Doesn't mean that it won't change, because maybe it will.

 

My first girl Katie was a spook and even after she came around, she was very reserved.

But she did end up changing, it took awhile, but she did it in her own time which I respected.

 

Sometimes if we know what their life was at the kennel, we understand a lot more about them.

 

Give her a little time and space, she may surprise you

[gazehund]

That aloofness is a hound trait in general and a sighthound trait in particular. Sighthounds are a very independent breed. Bred for thousands of years to hunt on their own without looking to man for direction or assistance. Since November is not really all that long. Give her time.

[HopeForHounds]

My first girl Miz Foxy was aloof for almost a year after we adopted her. As we got to know her, and her us, we developed our own special relationship. As time went by she allowed cuddles and would love to lay up against me on the couch. There was no doubt at all that she loved me, she just showed it differently with smiles, wags, dancing, and air snapping. I sure do miss my princess.

[seeh2o]

Doesn't mean that it won't change, because maybe it will.

 

My first girl Katie was a spook and even after she came around, she was very reserved.

But she did end up changing, it took awhile, but she did it in her own time which I respected.

 

Sometimes if we know what their life was at the kennel, we understand a lot more about them.

 

Give her a little time and space, she may surprise you

I have to agree with Claudia, I never thought Carl would ever warm up to me. He has been with me almost 3 years, he's rarely a lap dog, but he does love to be petted and made over. He actually will come over to be petted, that never would have happened 8 months after he moved in. Claire has been with us for just over a year and though she was a bit of a spook when she arrived (and still can be) she is very loving, gives kisses, seeks out loving attention even more than Carl does. I do know what you mean, though, I do wish I had a cuddler. I've had many dogs over the years and have never had one that was a real cuddler. Nevertheless, I love my two and wouldn't trade them!

[Guest Samantha]

Plenty time for her to get more cuddly!. I agree November isn't that long. My Maddison will happily cuddle up to my son and goto him for loving, but I think she see's me as "the food lady", and when I took her to meet a friends greys last week, and her boy Joey leaned on me begging for love I did think Awwww Maddison isn't like this, she was more interested in playing or having a good sniff around.

 

Remember though, you have done a wonderful thing giving a hound a home, and they do love you very much in their own special way. You are their "Hoooooman"

[greysmom]

I agree that she might change with time. Give her some patience, and just keep being there for her. She may turn into a cuddler, or she may not. Some are more reserved than others - not necessarily having anything to do with their former lives.

 

I have four greys - Dude is a crazy cuddler and likes nother better, Toni likes to cuddle but only on her terms, Cash loves pets and belly rubs but not cuddling so much, Copper is much like your girl. So they really do come in all types.

 

If you decide you'd like to adopt another, be very clear with your group that you'd really like a hands-on dog this time. Maybe they can make a little better match the second time around.

[Guest tbrodzel]

Thanks for the encouragement, suggestions and tips. I appreciate them very much.

[Batmom]

Might be worth your while to see if there's a positive-methods training class in your area -- clicker training, perhaps. Won't change your pup's basic nature but could be a good experience for the two of you to learn more about each other's quirks and preferences ..... Dogs can be odd and do take their own time about things.

[Magdalyn58]

It took Daisy a full year before she decided that she liked to cuddle. We had Sophie before her and it was well over a year, and she became a world class cuddler. Teddy has been with us just about a year and he likes to be cuddled when he's standing up. He's not ready to crawl up on our laps, like Daisy now does. I honestly was very sad thinking that Daisy would never be a cuddler, like Sophie, her predecessor. It seemed as if Daisy didn't even want us sitting near her on the sofa. But one day, she jumped up, came right over close to me and plopped herself down on my lap! Now she frequently comes over for cuddles. It took a year before she even considered doing that.

 

You will be surprised at how they evolve over time to their new living arrangements.

[Guest Vers]

Let me say first that I love my hounds unconditionally. Let me say next that they have certainly taught me that patience has its rewards.

 

Simba first learned to cuddle in his own way -- standing over my knees when I was sitting and letting me love on his ears and rumpus. We've made this a ritual we do every morning before his breakfast and he loves it like it's new every day. More recently, he'll now curl up with me on the couch with full body contact, pressing his head against me and making such contented sounds. That took over 12 months to happen, and he's a very happy and confident grey.

 

My Stella came home in November like yours. She's very shy and sweet, but is a major nuzzler if we're about to do something fun. She accepts bellyrubs now, and will hop up on the couch with me for some love but won't curl up next to me. I'll put my money on her being a lap hound and major cuddler within the next six to twelve months.

 

Rituals and patience have worked here, and I hope it works for you. The rewards are worth the patience.

[Guest RWM]

That's what's so cool about greys ... they cuddle because they want to cuddle ... not because they're expected to cuddle. I've had other breed cuddlers before, and I like the idea that mine are a bit aloof. There's a dignity about greys that I admire. However, they do evolve ... some, over long periods of time. After two and one half years, Daisy is still evolving and becoming more affectionate. About three months ago she decided she likes to curl up next to me and put her head on my shoulder at night and go to sleep. If I let her, she'll stay like that all night.

Edited July 3, 2010 by RWM

[Guest cheltzey]

I totally get you. Lando loves to be pet, but is not overly affectionate. He doesn't do belly rubs, has never given kisses, rarely wags his tail, and he never comes and lays by anyone. I do miss that. But I figure that dogs are like kids. Only one of my kids has been a real cuddler. I missed that in my other kids, but I still loved them to death and wouldn't trade them for the world. All of us have our own personalities, dogs included. Having said that, I will pick out a more playful and affectionate dog next time.

[Guest FastDogsOwnMe]

She may get better. Also, some hounds, especially (in my experience) females, are just like that. On the other hand, my girl Sophia is glued to me to the point that it is annoying So they are all unique.

[Dawnnziggy]

When we first got Dawn, she was just like your girl. We wanted to love on her but she didn't want it. She would give us warning growls just like yours. The year after we got her, we went to our local greyhound reunion. They had a male grey that needed a home. You guessed it, he came home with us! This changed Dawn like you wouldn't believe. He loved to be loved on. He also wanted to be with us. She watched all of that and learned how to be a pet instead of an athlete. Ziggy taught her how to be a better friend to us. She still doesn't "cuddle" but she looks us up for loving if she wants it. We can lay on the floor beside her now and love on her without growls.

 

So ................she may change if you decide to chip!

 

Really, give her some more time. They are all so different and continue to change the longer you have them. Good Luck!

 

Judy

[Guest krystolla]

I think maybe retired racers need to learn to ask for cuddles the same way they learn to play with toys. Some figure it out right away, others don't realize that cuddling is a standard part of retired life (along with treats, comfy beds, toys . . .).

 

Honestly, though, I think the growling when you start petting her might be more of a dominance thing. She could choose to move away from being petted, or ignore you while you are doing it but she shouldn't growl. Well, unless she's got some sort of health issue going on. I think you might want to think about doing some no-such-thing-as-a-free-lunch style training with her.

 

I know, seems like a weird thing to make her earn affection when she doesn't seem to want it but basically you need to show her that food/affection/attention have value. She doesn't value your attention the same way because she gets if for free.

 

Of course, IANAB (I am not a behaviorist) so feel free to ignore me.

[Guest gecko_foot]

I have always had herding breeds, and they practically live in your lap. There's something quite absurd about a 50 lb fluffy Aussie trying to lay on your feet or fit in your lap. It was an adjustment to go from Aussie to greyhound as Tumnus isn't exactly the cuddler that my Aussie is. Sure, he'll rest his head on my chest, but he doesn't try to sit with me on the couch. Half of the time, he's in another room asleep, but that just seems to be the way he is.

[Guest KennelMom]

You did a lot of research on greyhounds and somehow came away with the impression that they were a cuddling breed??? As gazehund says, aloofness is pretty much a trait attributed to sighthounds. They need it for the jobs they do, just like other breeds need to orbit humans to do their jobs.

 

I understand wanting to have a dog that nurtures our ego by giving us attention the way *we* think love is demonstrated. But, the way we expect dogs to love on us is not necessarily normal adult dog behavior. Greyhounds, having been given the chance to grow up as a dog should AND the breed retaining traits important to the breed's job (independent mind), are probably not the dog that one should choose if they want...oh...the personality of a golden retriever who will live and die on the word of a human. Greyhounds are a dog that lives *with* you, not *for* you.

 

You say you are acquaintances at her choice. I would challenge you to open your mind to seeing her express her bond to you on *her terms*...not yours. We certainly have a couple greyhounds that would crawl inside us if they could. Always by our side, climbing in our laps and hanging on everything we do. However, MOST of our dogs are not like that at all. Typical greyhounds that appreciate a moderate amount of attention and are quite happy to be near us but not always hvaing to be directly involved. And, of course, you have those dogs that are really independent and very spartan with their pro-active seeking of anything...my first greyhound was- and still is - like that. But, I'll tell you...there is no question she loves me and trusts me. She's just not overtly affectionate in ways humans expect dogs to be. I agree with fastdogsownme that it's usually females that are more independent/aloof.

 

I always remember that cuddling is for humans. It doesn't mean the same thing to dogs as it does us.

 

You may also find you have a different dog if you adopt a second greyhound. My first greyhound, while she still remains pretty aloof, really seemed to breathe a sigh of relief as our pack grew. She really broke out of her shell when my second greyhound came home. I believe it's a breed best enjoyed in multiples. And, at the end of the day, just as we want to be accepted for who we are, I believe that courtesy should extend to our dogs as well...they all have personalities and preferences and that should be accepted. I wouldn't be happy if my husband married me and then started wishing my personality was drastically different than what it naturally is.

Edited July 3, 2010 by KennelMom

[Guest Jubilee251]

You did a lot of research on greyhounds and somehow came away with the impression that they were a cuddling breed???

 

I'm willing to bet that in her research, the OP found greys described as loving and affectionate - which can make people think they are world class cuddlers. I know that I thought they would be cuddlers too, but quickly learned that "affectionate" means affection in their own way. Molly definitely loves us, but is not a lapdog! If she feels crowded, she'll move somewhere else.

 

Now that we've let her on the couch, however, she'll often hop up, lay down, and push her nose between the back of my couch and where my butt is. :lol

[Guest krystolla]

You did a lot of research on greyhounds and somehow came away with the impression that they were a cuddling breed???

 

To be fair, if one's research includes meeting greyhounds at a M&G there are usually a few greyhounds that will not only be cuddly but will try to climb into your pocket. Based on the dogs I've seen out representing adoption I would have expected all greys to be leaners, snugglers, and attention demanding cuddlers. M&G dogs are often the exceptionally tolerant, not the average personality -- who brings a spook to Petsmart to balance out the perception?

 

Then you add in the photos online of greys snuggling with each other, with cats, with other dog breeds, with children and with couch cushions . . .

 

There's no research like actually living with a dog, unfortunately.

[tra708]

I understand exactly what you mean. I've had 3, and i would describe only one of them as being sort of a cuddler and a lover. That's Jackie, one of the two i have now. They are certainly not like some of my friends' little lap dogs. But, of course i wouldn't trade them for the world. Have you thought about getting another? You can adopt another that you know for sure is more affectionate, or maybe a puppy or pound dog of some other kind. Anyway, just give it more time! We've had Lola for 10 months, and she is the same way as yours, but keeps opening up to us more and more. And when those little moments happen, it is so special and great.

[Guest zombrie]

You did a lot of research on greyhounds and somehow came away with the impression that they were a cuddling breed???

 

I'm willing to bet that in her research, the OP found greys described as loving and affectionate - which can make people think they are world class cuddlers. I know that I thought they would be cuddlers too, but quickly learned that "affectionate" means affection in their own way. Molly definitely loves us, but is not a lapdog! If she feels crowded, she'll move somewhere else.

 

Now that we've let her on the couch, however, she'll often hop up, lay down, and push her nose between the back of my couch and where my butt is. :lol

 

This was my experience. We were told that they are super cuddly, affectionate, etc and that's what we were expecting. Mira loves attention and affection but on her own terms and wants nothing to do with you as soon as she sits her butt up on the couch She definitely does show love in her own way. She will follow me everywhere and be in the same room as me, gets jealous when I'm loving on one of the other dogs (I have a GSD and a Golden Retriever as well), and sometimes she gets very protective of my mom and I. She is definitely a bit aloof and very independent. I love that about her, though.

Edited July 3, 2010 by zombrie

[Guest KennelMom]

You did a lot of research on greyhounds and somehow came away with the impression that they were a cuddling breed???

 

I'm willing to bet that in her research, the OP found greys described as loving and affectionate - which can make people think they are world class cuddlers. I know that I thought they would be cuddlers too, but quickly learned that "affectionate" means affection in their own way. Molly definitely loves us, but is not a lapdog! If she feels crowded, she'll move somewhere else.

 

Now that we've let her on the couch, however, she'll often hop up, lay down, and push her nose between the back of my couch and where my butt is. :lol

 

This was my experience. We were told that they are super cuddly, affectionate, etc and that's what we were expecting. Mira loves attention and affection but on her own terms and wants nothing to do with you as soon as she sits her butt up on the couch She definitely does show love in her own way. She will follow me everywhere and be in the same room as me, gets jealous when I'm loving on one of the other dogs (I have a GSD and a Golden Retriever as well), and sometimes she gets very protective of my mom and I. She is definitely a bit aloof and very independent. I love that about her, though.

 

Sounds like someone is overselling them. I hate when I hear people doing that. Greyhounds are what they are. They aren't the breed for everyone and making the nature of a typical greyhound sound different does a huge disservice to the dog being placed and to the adoptive family. Of course, some folks get "breed blind." They can only see how perfect and awesome greyhounds are and can't see how greyhounds are perfect and awesome for them...but maybe not everyone. Obviously there is a spectrum of personalities in greyhounds (and all breeds), but someone's on crack if they would describe the breed as a whole as "super cuddly and affectionate"...especially when compared to many, many, many, many other breeds, they aren't.

 

I think greyhounds (and man of the sighthounds) have their own way of showing affection and that may be different than what your average novice-to-sighthounds pet owner may be expecting.

[Guest RWM]

I've often heard greys described as "well-mannered," and I subscribe to that idea. I think that characteristic means, at least in part, that a grey is not "in your face," or constantly craving attention or affection; rather, they respect, and are respectful of, some distance between themselves and their masters. To each his own, but this characteristic, to me, is why I hold greys in such high esteem.

[gazehund]

To the OP. Pooter has been in our home it will be 2 years in September.

This morning, for the first time, she hopped up on the bed with us. Out of the blue. So there is hope. Give you girl time. I would address the growling issue though and I wonder if she might have some pain in the back end that is causing a bit of her standoffish-ness. I would check that out with her vet if you haven't already.

Please read this. I have posted it a million times and I will post it a million times more. Not only do sight hounds posses an inherent independent mind, but retired racers have even more to deal with when they become a pet. None of which has anything whatsoever to do with any kind of abuse.

 

Your girls new life from HER point of view. By Kathleen Gilley

 

Of all breeds of dogs, the ex-racing Greyhound has never had to be responsible for anything in his life. His whole existence has been a dog-centered one. This breed has never been asked to do anything for itself, make any decisions or answer any questions. It has been waited on, paw and tail. The only prohibition in a racing

Greyhound's life is not to get into a fight----------------or eat certain stuff in the turn out pen.

 

Let us review a little. From weaning until you go away for schooling, at probably a year and a half, you eat, grow and run around with your siblings. When you go away to begin your racing career, you get your own "apartment," in a large housing development. No one is allowed in your bed but you, and when you are in there, no one can touch you, without plenty of warning.

 

Someone hears a vehicle drive up, or the kennel door being unlocked. The light switches are flipped on. The loud mouths in residence, and there always are some, begin to bark or howl. You are wide awake by the time the human opens your door to turn you out. A Greyhound has never been touched while he was asleep.

 

You eat when you are fed, usually on a strict schedule. No one asks if you are hungry or what you want to eat. You are never told not to eat any food within your reach. No one ever touches your bowl while you are eating. You are not to be disturbed because it is important you clean your plate.

 

You are not asked if you have to "go outside." You are placed in a turn out pen and it isn't long before you get the idea of what you are supposed to do while you are out there. Unless you really get out of hand, you may chase, rough house and put your feet on everyone and every thing else. The only humans you know are the "waiters" who feed you, and the "restroom attendants" who turn you out to go to the bathroom. Respect people? Surely you jest.

 

No one comes into or goes out of your kennel without your knowledge. You are all seeing; all knowing. There are no surprises, day in and day out. The only thing it is ever hoped you will do is win, place or show, and that you don't have much control over. It is in your blood, it is in your heart, it is in your fate-- or it is not.

 

And when it is not, then suddenly you are expected to be a civilized person in a fur coat. But people don't realize you may not even speak English. Some of you don't even know your names, because you didn't need to. You were not asked or told to do anything as an individual; you were always part of the "condo association?; the sorority or fraternity and everyone did everything together, as a group or pack. The only time you did anything as an individual is when you schooled or raced, and even then, You Were Not Alone.

 

In my "mobile abode," the Greyhounds each have several unique names, but they also have a single common name: it is Everybody. We continue to do things as a group, pack or as we are affectionately known in-house, by Kathleen's Husbandit, "The Thundering Herd."

 

Back to those who have not been permanently homed. Suddenly, he is expected to behave himself in places he's never been taught how to act. He is expected to take responsibility for saying when he needs to go outside, to come when he is called, not to get on some or all of the furniture, and to not eat food off counters and tables. He is dropped in a world that is not his, and totally without warning, at that.

 

Almost everything he does is wrong. Suddenly he is a minority. Now he is just a pet. He is unemployed, in a place where people expect him to know the rules and the schedule, even when there aren't any. (How many times have you heard someone say, "He won't tell me when he has to go out." What kind of schedule is that?) Have you heard the joke about the dog who says, "My name is No-No Bad Dog. What's yours?" To me that is not even funny. All the protective barriers are gone. There is no more warning before something happens. There is no more strength in numbers. He wakes up with a monster human face two inches from his. (With some people's breath, this could scare Godzilla.) Why should he not, believe that this "someone," who has crept up on him, isn't going to eat him for lunch? (I really do have to ask you ladies to consider how you would react if someone you barely knew crawled up on you while you were asleep?) No, I will not ask for any male input.

 

Now he is left alone, for the first time in his life, in a strange place, with no idea of what will happen or how long it will be before someone comes to him again. If he is not crated, he may go though walls, windows or over fences, desperately seeking something familiar, something with which to reconnect his life. If he does get free, he will find the familiarity, within himself: the adrenaline high, the wind in his ears, the blood pulsing and racing though his heart once again--until he crashes into a car.

 

Often, the first contact with his new family is punishment, something he's never had before, something he doesn't understand now, especially in the middle of the rest of the chaos. And worst of all, what are the most common human reactions to misbehavior? We live in a violent society, where the answer to any irritation is a slap, punch, kick, whip, or rub your nose in it. Under these circumstances, sometimes I think any successful adoption is a miracle.

 

He is, in effect, expected to have all the manners of at least a six-year old child. But, how many of you would leave an unfamiliar six-year old human alone and loose in your home for hours at a time and not expect to find who knows what when you got back? Consider that if you did, you could be brought up on charges of child abuse, neglect and endangerment. Yet, people do this to Greyhounds and this is often the reason for so many returns.

 

How many dogs have been returned because they did not know how to tell the adoptor when they had to go out? How many for jumping on people, getting on furniture, counter surfing, separation anxiety, or defensive actions due to being startled or hurt (aka growling or biting)? So, let's understand: Sometimes it is the dog's "fault" he cannot fit in. He is not equipped with the social skills of a six-year old human. But with your love and help, you can make it happen.