I Feel Awful

[3vagreys]

My little Echo - an almost spook = has been with me for 6 years. Just in the last year, she has started hopping in my bed in the morning once a week or so for some cuddling. I get about 5 minutes and then she is gone. It is very special.

[ozgirl2]

Something no one else has said yet (I don't think) about the growl... was she on HER bed when you petted & she growled? Some greys will do this - it's THEIR space. I'd avoid trying to pet or hug her when she's lying down in her spot.

 

She is gorgeous! And she looks very comfortable with you. Just give her lots of time & love.

And I agree with taking some positive clicker training with her - may help with the bonding.

 

I do follow up calls for my adoption group and I always tell people that even at 6 months, they're still changing and growing. Can happen for a year or more! My girl Cody continued to change and get mjore and more interactive with me for at least a year! So hang in there - it's worth every second! Greys ar the BEST!!

[LBass]

My word--your girl is a stunner!

[Guest tbrodzel]

My word--your girl is a stunner!

 

 

Thank you all! I TOTALLY agree that she is a beauty (but I am partial ya know) ha ha!

 

Although she wasn't as cute when she gave a stuffed duck a good shaking, sending it's stuffing all over the place this morning. But now we don't have to worry about that duck bothering us anymore, cause she killed it.

[rschultz]

she looks very happy and comfy in her new home Lexie growled at me once when we first brought her home. I think it was because she had no idea what was going to happen to her when i got real close( my fault too i was trying to snuggle with her on her bed the first week) Keep up your good work. She really does look very happy

[Guest iconsmum]

Hi

I'm just curious - is your girl high prey?

I'm wondering if, when she growled at you, she was guarding something close by and you didn't realize it.

Edited August 9, 2010 by iconsmum

[Guest vezzerina]

I totally get where you're coming from! We got Lyca in September of last year and I often feel guilty for wishing she would cuddle with me, too! But I get the feeling that she will come around because she does love her "massages". I think she is still getting used to our house and our cats (who completely ignore her but I understand why she might feel intimidated!). Lyca used to climb onto the couch with me but after about a month she decided she liked her bed better. She doesn't even sleep in my room anymore like she used to.

 

I really like all the stories above talking about how much greys can change. I think it's fascinating! Let me know if you can think of any way to speed up the cuddle process... Maybe encouraging with treats or socializing her with cuddly dogs so she can learn would be a start?

 

You're not alone!

[Guest StarsMama]

Your girl is beautiful.

[Guest NeuGrey]

My family and I are new greyhound owners too and felt the same way. I really think more resources (books, adoption groups, etc) should address this issue with new owners. We thought we were doing something wrong as our dog seemed to hate us. We've done some research and talked with other owners and realized it's just going to take time. But we were confused for a good couple of months and were a little heartbroken. I personally feel there is a hole here (in the education of new owners) that needs filled. One of the many reasons that I love this website!!

[Guest Fluffy]

We thought we were doing something wrong as our dog seemed to hate us. We've done some research and talked with other owners and realized it's just going to take time.

 

This, a million times. I think my first-ever post here on GT was to ask "Does my new dog just hate me?" because I had been told that greys were velcro dogs, loved people, loved to be touched, and yet I couldn't get Badger to come within a few feet of me unless I was holding food, and even then he was suspicious. But over time he has loosened up - he figured out my whole apartment, not just his crate, was safe. He figured out I was safe. He figured out that I was easily manipulated into giving him treats Now he really is pretty close to the proverbial velcro dog - he will follow me from room to room, to the point that I don't know how it doesn't drive him nuts to always need to keep near me.

 

All the same, he's still not a huge snuggler. He adores belly rubs, and after every meal he'll come to me so I can scratch his ears, but the whole "lap dog" thing I had been led to think was not uncommon just isn't him. My most treasured moments are when I'll be sitting by him and he'll rest his head on my knee, because that doesn't happen very often! I think he's had a fairly easy (in hindsight! A few months ago, I would never have thought I would ever view that time as easy!) transition because I live alone. There's just me to keep track of, just me to learn to trust, just me to become comfortable around - with more people in the house, I can only imagine the time for all those things would be extended. Plus, underneath his worry, he's a fairly confident dog, and a boy - conventional wisdom that I've heard seems to say that male greys are a tad more physically affectionate, while girls can be more standoffish initially.

 

I am mildly concerned to hear that Brynna growls when you touch her, though - I am far from experienced (Badger's my first-ever dog, let alone grey, so take everything I say with a "pfft, newbie" roll of your eyes), but I'd look into whether she's guarding what she views as "her" space (in which case there's plenty of advice on here on GT about how to work around that and/or desensitize her to it) or if she's got some physical sore spots you haven't picked up on.

 

The others are right that she looks very relaxed and comfortable (and adorable!) in her photos, so just keep reminding yourself that she's made some big mental changes already to get to that point, and the whole unwinding-into-a-pet process can take a pretty significant chunk of time. For some dogs, it never really ends - they're always adjusting a bit more every day to how people-life and pet-life work.

[Guest FullMetalFrank]

Wow, she is stunning and looks like a HAPPY, busy girl! She may come around in the cuddling department, or she may not; they can be very independent but it sounds like you are full of love for her no matter what. Good luck!

[JaneW]

Just adding my bit. I've had Greta 6 years and right now she will allow me to cuddle her a bit--she has an infected toe and doesn't feel too well--but she is not really comfortable with it. Normally, I know she loves me because of how happy and incredibly obedient she gets when I say "Let's take a walk"!

[Guest Mollysmom10]

I remember when we first got Molly - she didn't like people too close to her - especially DH. One day shortly after we got her, he tried playing with her and put his hands over his head and made some noise and she cowered, it was so sad. I also remember shoveling snow the first day it snowed after I got her - when I picked up the shovel, she fell down to the ground, that really made me cry. I don't know what happened to her, but it did take her a while to warm up. She even got to the point where she would seek us out for cuddling...hang in there -- some times it takes a while to gain that trust. Just know they appreciate all that you're doing for them - you are giving them a better life.

[Guest OffLead]

In Wolfhounds, and I assume other sighthounds including Greys (I'm still new to Greys), the males are more likely to be velcro dogs. The girls are smarter, but more independent. The boys are sweet and adorable and loving, which is to their benefit because they sure aren't all that bright. A friend of mine a few years ago, who has working breeds, observed once that my male IW was "a real titty baby." She then realized that she might have offended me, and offered an apology, while I explained that I was pretty sure that "titty baby" was in the unofficial standard for the breed in regard to the males.

 

But that's not to say that they girls won't cuddle. When I think "velcro" dog, I think of extremely clingy, not comfortable without you around. One of the things I love about sighthounds is that they do NOT fawn over people. Each sighthound breed is a bit different, some more affectionate, some more aloof, as a general rule. And within each breed there is always a wide range. But even the most affectionate Wolfhound, and again I assume the same holds for Greyhounds, isn't going to behave like a Springer Spaniel. Thank goodness! The Fella's GSD drives me nuts, haha. That dog has to constantly be told what is expected of him. He's never comfortable on his own. He'll obey the same command 600 times in an hour, just because you asked him to, and he'd follow The Fella into the depths of hell without a second thought or moment's hesitation. But that constant need for attention and direction is not what I prefer to live with. (And that's why he's back east with The Fella, haha!) My dogs are all affectionate. They love to be petted. Jimmy is VERY affectionate, with anyone that will hold still long enough for him to walk up to. But he doesn't cuddle, and when he finally has had his fill of loving (and it does take a while), he goes off to lay somewhere nearby, but not too close.

 

I've actually been working on an essay about cuddling dogs. Brought on by the loss of one tiny cat, and the arrival of one big puppy.

Edited August 16, 2010 by OffLead

[Guest kydie]

my grey is not a cuddler either,, but that's O.K.,, he is who he is,,, a good dog,,,, I think ,,,perfect,,,,, he comes to me when he wants to and goes to his bed when he wants to be alone,,, first suggestion ,,,,when you get on the sofa and she growls at you when you touch her make her get off the sofa,,, SHE is taking control,,, she should have her very own space where she can be alone if she chooses,,,, sofa is community property,,, if she can't accept that,,,, then she needs to move to her own bed,,, next walk, walk,, walk,,, this is a bonding exercise,,, and training classes sounds wonderful

[Guest lat41065]

You did a lot of research on greyhounds and somehow came away with the impression that they were a cuddling breed??? As gazehund says, aloofness is pretty much a trait attributed to sighthounds. They need it for the jobs they do, just like other breeds need to orbit humans to do their jobs.

 

I understand wanting to have a dog that nurtures our ego by giving us attention the way *we* think love is demonstrated. But, the way we expect dogs to love on us is not necessarily normal adult dog behavior. Greyhounds, having been given the chance to grow up as a dog should AND the breed retaining traits important to the breed's job (independent mind), are probably not the dog that one should choose if they want...oh...the personality of a golden retriever who will live and die on the word of a human. Greyhounds are a dog that lives *with* you, not *for* you.

 

You say you are acquaintances at her choice. I would challenge you to open your mind to seeing her express her bond to you on *her terms*...not yours. We certainly have a couple greyhounds that would crawl inside us if they could. Always by our side, climbing in our laps and hanging on everything we do. However, MOST of our dogs are not like that at all. Typical greyhounds that appreciate a moderate amount of attention and are quite happy to be near us but not always hvaing to be directly involved. And, of course, you have those dogs that are really independent and very spartan with their pro-active seeking of anything...my first greyhound was- and still is - like that. But, I'll tell you...there is no question she loves me and trusts me. She's just not overtly affectionate in ways humans expect dogs to be. I agree with fastdogsownme that it's usually females that are more independent/aloof.

 

I always remember that cuddling is for humans. It doesn't mean the same thing to dogs as it does us.

 

You may also find you have a different dog if you adopt a second greyhound. My first greyhound, while she still remains pretty aloof, really seemed to breathe a sigh of relief as our pack grew. She really broke out of her shell when my second greyhound came home. I believe it's a breed best enjoyed in multiples. And, at the end of the day, just as we want to be accepted for who we are, I believe that courtesy should extend to our dogs as well...they all have personalities and preferences and that should be accepted. I wouldn't be happy if my husband married me and then started wishing my personality was drastically different than what it naturally is.

 

Perfectly put Heather and they certainly do show a whole different side of themselves when another one is introduced. My first girl Tess was just like that she could no more care any less about us then Octane came and she really warmed up to us but still had no use for you if you didnt live within our walls LOL

 

Lesley

[Guest lynne893]

 

What a beautiful gal!!!! She'll warm up more and more each day. I think with my first two greys, it took almost a year for their "full" personalities to bloom! Keep at it!

[Guest brandi007]

She is absolutely stunning! I love dark brindles

 

Give it time though like everyone else said. Hannah growled at me when I'd touch her and wouldn't let me pet her for over a year - now whenever she's nervous she hides between my legs, wherever I go she follows and she nuzzles me for more pets when I stop. Accept your girl for who she is and your bond will strengthen. Dogs read your moods and body language more than you think and the more you're 'disappointed' (but still love) her the more she's going to feed off that and leave you alone. Easier said than done I know but do try!

[Guest happygrey]

There's definitely something to be said about how another dog changes their personality. Tatam is not what I'd call a cuddler, in that he doesn't get up on furniture or the bed -- with us, or ever -- but he is friendly. He likes to be in the same room with us, tolerates us hugging him and wags his tail at his walk time. He's also a big leaner and a big "stander." As in, he'll come over and stand by you to give you the opportunity to pet him.

 

However, after we got Bentley, we found that he got a whole lot friendlier. It was almost like he was afraid this new guy might unseat him.

 

For more insight on how different we (primates) are in showing affection than our dogs, you might want to read The Other End of the Leash by Patricia McConnell. It's a great book and really underscores how different we are from dogs.

Edited August 19, 2010 by happygrey