Separation Anxiety With New Rescue - Wanna Hear Your Experience

[Guest franci]

Hello,

 

We have been dealing with separation anxiety for the past three weeks with our new rescued hound.

 

He has two meltdowns a day barking and howling for about 15/20 minutes every time we leave and the walker leaves. Sometimes he whines even if we are in a different room than he is and cannot see/get to us.

Our next door neighbor works from home and has started complaining ( we are in a loft condo building ) about the noise. More than assuring him that we are working on it, we really don't know what to do, let alone giving him a timeline of when he'll be calm. He never makes a sound from 6 pm to 9 am, so nobody is losing sleep, it's basically from 9 to 9.30 and from 1 to 1.30 that the howling might happen. But at a certain time me and my husband would like to go to the movies without the anxiety of him howling at 10 pm because we are not in the same room as him

 

We have tried alone training, DAP collar, L-theanine, music, Kongs, nothing really reassures him to be alone wehn we leave.

He gets plenty of exercise with 5 walks a day.

 

We have consulted a trainer and she said we would need someone with him at all times once we start the SA training, which 1- sounds contradictory, 2- we cannot afford financially to have a dog nanny. Doggy daycare is not an option for several reasons. Is true in your experience, that once training for SA starts they cannot be left alone?

 

Can I get any advice, experience, encouragement that it's solvable from anyone. I am feeling very lost on what to do next.

 

Thank you

[BatterseaBrindl]

Never heard of that.

 

Patricia McConnell has an excellent booklet "I'll be home soon'.

 

http://www.patriciamcconnell.com/store/I-ll-Be-Home-Soon.html

[Riverhound]

Hi!

 

When I first brought Jefferson home, he was just fine crated during the day when I went to work, with a potty break at lunch. About a month later, he got used to me being home over Christmas break, and the SA got ugly.

 

Tried Prozac. No appetite. DAP diffuser, didnt have enough time to work. Kong, ha! Xanax, YASSSSSSS but its not an every day solution.

 

What eventually worked was xanax the second I got out of bed, so it had enough time to get into his system by the time I had to go to work. Left him loose, not crated, but gated in a safe area, wearing a muzzle and with TV on. It took a bit for him to stop hurling himself at the door after I left, but one day, he just watched me leave from his spot on the sofa. Hes been mostly ok since. I tapered down the Xanax over a couple weeks. Jefferson cant be behind a closed door. He has to be loose in living room/kitchen/dining room. A morning walk to get out some energy helped, but it was stinking cold and I just wasnt doing it every day.

 

Better living through chemistry.

[greysmom]

Three weeks is no time at all to be dealing with SA. Remember, he's never been alone in his entire life up until now, so you have a lifetime of his experiences to counteract. Plus, he's still settling in to his new home and life and schedule, and ev.er.y.thing is completely new and scary and different for him.

 

I've *never* heard a trainer say something like that, so I hope a couple of the people who are here on GT will chime in for you about that. IMO, you should try a different (positive reinforcement only) behaviorist, as the one you have seems a bit squirrelly.

 

When you have a dog with SA you really never stop doing Alone Training. It's an ongoing process until he reaches a trust level that allows him to be OK when you're gone. So if you've discontinued it for some reason, start back up again and do some every day. The key with Alone Training, particularly in the beginning, is to return BEFORE the dog becomes anxious. If he's worked up before you even leave, then you need to start the procedure with just picking up and putting down your keys randomly throughout the day. Then add the next element in your leaving sequence, then the next, and so on, until you can walk through the door and come back in. Then walk through the door for a few seconds and come back in.

 

It sounds like he's calming down after a certain amount of time after you leave, so all isn't hopeless. He just needs more time and more patience. I know your neighbor is getting grumpy, but a container of homemade cookies, or gift certificates to his favorate coffee shop might help as you explain the difficulty. Set up a monitoring camera so you can watch him throughout the day and pinpoint when he's being loud.

 

I'm assuming you're already leaving a tv or radio on for him, and leaving him with a frozen Kong or other treat to occupy his attention. You didn't mention crating, but that can also help (though not always).

 

SA can be frustrating and hard to deal with. Just keep remembering what you're trying to accomplish. Good luck.

[Guest franci]

Three weeks is no time at all to be dealing with SA. Remember, he's never been alone in his entire life up until now, so you have a lifetime of his experiences to counteract. Plus, he's still settling in to his new home and life and schedule, and ev.er.y.thing is completely new and scary and different for him.

 

I've *never* heard a trainer say something like that, so I hope a couple of the people who are here on GT will chime in for you about that. IMO, you should try a different (positive reinforcement only) behaviorist, as the one you have seems a bit squirrelly.

 

When you have a dog with SA you really never stop doing Alone Training. It's an ongoing process until he reaches a trust level that allows him to be OK when you're gone. So if you've discontinued it for some reason, start back up again and do some every day. The key with Alone Training, particularly in the beginning, is to return BEFORE the dog becomes anxious. If he's worked up before you even leave, then you need to start the procedure with just picking up and putting down your keys randomly throughout the day. Then add the next element in your leaving sequence, then the next, and so on, until you can walk through the door and come back in. Then walk through the door for a few seconds and come back in.

 

It sounds like he's calming down after a certain amount of time after you leave, so all isn't hopeless. He just needs more time and more patience. I know your neighbor is getting grumpy, but a container of homemade cookies, or gift certificates to his favorate coffee shop might help as you explain the difficulty. Set up a monitoring camera so you can watch him throughout the day and pinpoint when he's being loud.

 

I'm assuming you're already leaving a tv or radio on for him, and leaving him with a frozen Kong or other treat to occupy his attention. You didn't mention crating, but that can also help (though not always).

 

SA can be frustrating and hard to deal with. Just keep remembering what you're trying to accomplish. Good luck.

 

Thank you so much!

We have a camera, that's how I can say how long he is upset and then he calms down. He lets out a whine here and there during the day but overall there are 2 moments of panic.

Leaving TV on, i tried Through a dogs ear but seems to piss him off more than anything, and leaving 2 Kongs stuffed with goodies.

It is frustrating and worrisome, and truly trying to do everything possible to solve it.

[GeorgeofNE]

15-20 minutes is not a "melt down."

 

For those who have suffered through actual melt downs, that sounds like you're almost home free!

 

I predict if you get "I'll Be Home Soon" and follow the instructions, in three more weeks (give or take) this will have passed.

[DesiRayMom]

My last foster was full of anxiety......anything/everything.

What worked for us was Trazadone. 75mg 3x day, has worked wonders. I'm going to give him a few months to really settle in,

then try weaning him off.

[FiveRoooooers]

Finding the right TV or radio station can be challenging in itself. For years when Im away Ive left the CD Zen Dog by Janet Marlowe playing and it does seem to provide a natural valium effect for my dogs. Her music has been designed specifically for pets.

[LaFlaca]

I second and highly recommend Patricia B. McConnell's booklet, I'll be Home Soon. It's only about 30 pages long and is very easy to follow. My Lola had a pretty hefty case of S.A. She was destructive, urinated in the house, howled the entire time and destroyed her crate which she escaped from twice bloodying her mouth in the process. She was miserable, poor girl.

 

These antics went on even if I went into another room and closed the door. Taking a shower was a mission.

 

I tried DAP diffusers, loaded, frozen Kongs, leaving the T.V. or radio on and, ultimately, Trazodone but what really did the trick was time (4 months), patience and intensive "alone" training. This is why your trainer says that someone has to be home all the time. Alone training requires that someone be at home to do it multiple times during day. It's a process which I found exhausting but well worth it. Luckily, I'm retired; I don't know how a working person would handle this.

[Guest franci]

I read the McConnell book. It might be wonderful and full of great advice but it is very hard to put fully in practice when you are in a situation like us. It assumes you have a car and a house in the burbs with a bunch of stay at home friends. As I said previously we don't have an option to never leave the dog alone.

 

We live in NYC, in an apartment building, we work full time and while our schedules are not perfectly overlapped, and allows to reduce the alone time, we still have to leave and show up for work every day.

Hiring a nanny in NYC is already ridiculously expensive if you have children and could not even afford that! We don't have a car to drive up to anybody's home. And anyway all our friends also have jobs, we don't know anyone who is a stay at home parent or such. Doggy daycare is not an option until is hookworm free (they won't accept him).

 

We got him on Trazodone which is helping, now he only whines when I leave in the morning but not when the walker drops him off after his midday walk. We are putting in the time and effort to do desensitization and departures, but it's such slow progress. And one day he would get minimally upset, other days he would howl for a good 20 mins. Walking him in the morning for at least an hour at the park and letting him say hi to other dogs has been also of great help.

 

We also have been really lucky that our adoption group has been really close to us during this time.

[GeorgeofNE]

I'd suggest you reread Patricia McConnell's book, because there is NO WHERE in it that talks about needing day care, a nanny, a car, a house, or lots of friends at home.

 

I live alone. In an apartment. My first greyhound had SEVERE separation anxiety. Yes, the book talks about leaving and driving around the block. Use your imagination. Leave and WALK around the block. Or do what I did: leave, walk down the hallway, and sit by the elevator, weeping quietly and wondering what the HELL you were thinking adopting a greyhound!!!

 

Two things that worked: 1) ditch the crate if you're using one, and 2) ditch the dog walker. You're traumatizing him twice a day instead of once. True SA is not helped by a dog walker. That helps with housebreaking, but seriously, if you have an adult dog and you're giving him sufficient morning exercise, holding it for the work day is NOT an issue despite people ranting about it being "cruel." There are probably millions of dogs left alone all day, every day, and they do just fine.

 

I also used a DAP diffuser for George, I DOUBLED our morning exercise, and I left him completely loose in my condo. Surprise surprise, after MANY complaints, one day a neighbor came over nearly in tears, upset that I got rid of the greyhound. Wasn't she shocked when he came to the door to say hello! Once I stopped crating my guy he stopped howling. I also wrote a cute note and put it under the door of everyone in my building within earshot of my unit. I explained he was a retired racer, that he needed time to adjust, that I was aware of the noise, and I gave them my cell phone number and asked that they call ME if they were upset and not the property manager. To be fair I was chairman of the condo board, so there was nothing anyone could really do to me, but it did make everyone else feel like I did really care. I also invited them to come meet a real life racing dog.

 

Three weeks is NOTHING in the grand scheme of things, and you sound really frustrated, and I get that. Stop worrying about "never" going out at night for now. You just got this dog. You're leaving him alone ALL DAY. He has never been alone in his entire life. It's not the time to also be going out at night. Cats are good at that: dogs, not so much. Especially not three weeks in to what SHOULD be a lifelong relationship (at least for the dog).

 

You can do this!!

 

You've actually got it easy. My dog expressed his SA in a liquid manner...which is to say for the entire 7 years I had that wonderful, handsome, frustrating dog he peed in my condo despite THOUSANDS of dollars in medical tests. I just never did get him to be a "regular" dog.

[Guest franci]

Hi GeorgeofNE,

I hope I am not misunderstanding your message, but it feels a bit condescending. I come here to look for understanding and support from people that know more than I do, not to hear that I am complaining needlessly. If I did, my apologies, and please give me a chance, my post is not coming from a place of complaint and frustration, but more from a need of learning and sharing experiences. I wanted to hear from other people going through this. I am not a bitchy brat that is kicking her feet because the dog is not a stuffed toy. I was aware that any kind of issue could have come up and that was never a problem, I am willing to work through them. No matter what, he is perfect and love him.

 

Let me get one thing straight right away because it really bothers me: when I adopted Kip, that was for a lifelong commitment for me, and bothers me that you might think because of a problem I would not uphold that promise, since you don't know me. I am in it to help him and I welcome him in my life for good.

I am not frustrated with the dog and his anxiety, I am frustrated with unrealistic advice. I am working tirelessly to make him feel better and the priority it's him not myself going out at night (which btw i don't really care about or do often anyway). I don't give a rat's ass about anything else other than do right by him, I am not worried about not going out or whatever changes I have to make as you say. Not worried one bit. My point was just: sometime it will happen that I will have to leave him alone for a couple hours at night, will it be ok? If you picture me pissed at the fact I cannot go party every night, it's very far from reality LOL

 

To respond to your points:

 

1. The Mc Connell book says to never leave the dog alone so he doesn't get upset = someone has to be with the dog at all time = if you work full time you need to hire someone to do that? or drop him off somewhere? so, if I misunderstood that, apologies, english is my second language.

 

2. My imagination is not that stunted that i cannot substitute taking the elevator instead of driving around the block. that's not the problem at all. I am doing the separations, in and out every time I can. I can understand the basic principle and adapt the minutia to my environment.

 

3. We have had him for little over 2 months not 3 weeks, the original post is old. He doesn't get upset at all when the walker drops him off anymore, only when I leave in the morning. I keep hearing that you should not leave a dog more than 5 hours without relieving himself, that's why we engaged a walker. When I left him uncrated he got waaaaaaay more upset, but we are doing separations and so on also with him uncrated with the hope to leave him uncrated soon.

 

4. We have tried with little change DAP collar and diffuser, L-Theanine, Rescue remedy. Engaged a trainer to show us how to correctly do separations and desensitization. I also doubled the morning exercise and that helped enormously. He loves his time at the park and some mornings he comes back so content and tired from the long powerwalk!

 

Thank you for the encouragement at the end of the post. I hope I am still taking the right steps even if I have to leave him alone to go to work.

I did my research, thought for 3 years about adopting a ex-racer. Did that at the best moment possible for us. Not for one moment, even when I was scraping his bed from poop I regretted to have welcomed him in my life.

And no, I am not giving up on him. I am responsible for him.

 

And thank you for any advice you are offering!

[BatterseaBrindl]

It sounds as if you are making some progress. Yes.. it will be slow.

Keep doing what you are doing and breathe.

 

Our Ruby was bounced to us as her first home did not want to deal with her SA.

We had Nixon and Bandit at the time. Even then she was a bit stressed if we left the house. It took 5-6 months for her to realise that we were always coming back.

 

Sid arrived here 3+ weeks ago, bounced through no fault of his own. He also has some SA.

He has Ruby and Nigel for company but cries every. single. time. that I leave.

Even if hubby is home. He does settle down after a couple of minutes.

It is MUCH better than it was 2 weeks ago and I suspect that it will be gone in another month.

 

Time. Time. Breathe.

Add a bit more time and time and all will be well.