Leaving One Dog At Home While Taking Another Somewhere

[Guest ashphobiax]

wasnt sure where to post this so lets try here:

 

i like taking my grey everywhere i can, but my boyfriend and his dog who lives with us says that if i go anywhere i either need to take both or leave them both at home i cant just take one.

 

reason i only take one, my boyfriends sheltie does not listen to me at all she runs off and she is an alpha female, and i really cant deal with it...i only take glider to my parents house we dont really go anywhere exciting also my parents dog is blind and i really dont want the sheltie going after him.

 

thoughts on this?

[JAJ2010]

Depends on how the sheltie reacts to being alone. This is one of the issues with a 'blended' household! If the sheltie is stressed it would be unfair to leave her alone. Maybe it's time for a second grey so you can rotate who you take? I take both girls with me everywhere, including to the vet, but they are both my babies.

[Guest ashphobiax]

the sheltie gets jealous and my boyfriend gets really annoyed that i leave her

[JAJ2010]

jealous as in ripping the house apart with SA? Or just pouty and not really distressed and destructive? Honestly if your looking for this relationship to continue it might be wise to invest in some bonding/training time with the sheltie

 

oh and where in SE PA are you? I'm right over the DE line outside of chichester, pa

[spottydog]

"As long as the sheltie doesn't destroy your house, I would leave her if she can't behave at your parents. Life isn't always "fair" in the dog world. Or, maybe your boyfriend can take her or be at home with her whlie you are off with Glider. Glider shouldn't be in a prison because the sheltie isn't trained properly.

[Guest ashphobiax]

she doesnt rip the house apart she acts out, she will bite (she's bit me and she ripped my boyfriends ear half off last year) but hes all about the "pack" and that they need to be together all the time and that they need to bond because they are dogs...

[Guest PhillyPups]

If it were me, I woulld either look to getting another greyhound or another boyfriend.

 

How often does he take his sheltie out? Has the sheltie had any socialization training?

 

I am reading between the lines, but are you fearful of the sheltie after the bite?

[cleptogrey]

i support the other boyfreind concept. shelties are super hard working dogs, they need a job and do really well w/ training(i had a good friend whose shelties had more initials after their names than you can imagine). if you are going to keep the boyfriend (he might have some other redeming qualites) sign ALL of you up for obedience classes. you and your grey as a team, he and his sheltie. that might solve some issues and keep on visiting your parents w/ your dog.

[kudzu]

My blunt opinion is that BF is full of BS even thought he may seriously think he is correct. Sheltie has real problems. In your position I would continue to take only Glidermost of the time but also set aside some time to work with Sheltie one on one. If BF doesn't like it that would be OK with me. If BF made a stink about it that would not be OK. BF could either get to work on his dog's issues & help make good a companion worthy & safe to take with you or he can hush up & accept things.

 

No surprise if I point out that I have a lot more patience with dogs than with boyfriends.

[Guest june]

I don't know how serious this relationship is, but I am a "love me love my dog" person. My dogs go everywhere with me, but they are also well socialized and have had some basic training.

 

Of course the sheltie acts out, I wouldn't want to be left home either. Encourage the boyfriend to start working with HIS dog. You can do this together, but he needs to work with his dog while you work with yours. Sheltie's are smart dogs, but they need a job and a pack leader and it sounds like your boyfriend is not stepping up to the plate.

 

Keep taking your dog with you.

 

Edited to add: Is it possible your boyfriend is jealous of your relationship with your dog? Just asking.

Edited December 26, 2011 by june

[Walliered]

I vote for new BF

[Riverhound]

Parents spend one on one "quality time" with children, why not with dogs? IMHO -- it's fine to take one without the other. But to appease the BF, maybe bring back a burger for the Sheltie sometimes.

[OwnedBySummer]

I wouldn't take my BF's dog with me when I go somewhere with my own dog. Ummm... the sheltie isn't MY dog. Until such time as BF gets that dog trained, socialized and presentable... nope, don't look to me to do it for you, buddy.

 

Edit: Oh, and BF? -- don't tell me what I can and cannot do with my dog.

Edited December 26, 2011 by OwnedBySummer

[Guest sweetpea]

It feels to me like the Sheltie has issues irrespective of your outings with Glider.

 

Biting, that's a huge one to me. I don't know the circumstances around either of the

biting incidents, but I've never been afraid of any of my dogs biting me. I know it could

happen, I know I could (and probably will) make a catastrophic mistake and earn one, but that's different than

saying "she acts out, she will bite". That sounds like acceptance, like you (not you specifically,

you both of you) don't want to do something that will make her act out, instead of finding a way

to fix this behavior.

 

The fact that your BF has "decided" that the dogs need to be together all the time is

not going to fix the Sheltie's issues. BF needs to take responsibility for the fact

that he has a dog that needs work, and not make that work your job.

 

But you have to live there, you have to live with this situation. It's easy for us to

armchair quarterback, we don't have to live with the repercussions.

 

Good luck!

 

Buzzy

[MaryJane]

It's simple .. if he gets the dog trained then take her --- otherwise, just take yours.

 

It sounds like he is trying to make you responsible for his dog and being passive aggressive about it by asking you to step up to the plate and get his dog trained so that you can take her places and if you can't do that, to leave your dog at home.

 

Not sure whether you are trying to make a life with this guy but, this situation should make you think a bit.

[Guest tricolorhounds]

You've gotten some good advice from other posters above... so I'll just address the acting out after you've returned. I have 6 Greys so I can't possible take all 6 out with me at one time. I usually take two/three and the others are not at all happy that I'm leaving them behind. They'll bark, whine, roo and watch out the window but their frustration is over in a matter of minutes and they are fine alone. When we come home it's nothing by joy. None of them remain jealous/retaliatory towards my DD, myself or the dogs that went with us. Your BF's Sheltie has issues beyond what is normal "pack" behavior. Maybe she needs a job. Would definitely go the obedience route and maybe look at agility / flyball.

[Guest PhillyPups]

I have a few questions:

 

1. How long has BF had sheltie?

 

2 How long have you had BF?

 

3. Are you and BF living together?

 

4. Were you with BF when you got Glider?

 

5. Were you with BF and Sheltie when you got Glider?

 

 

I am of the mindset if sheltie was with BF before you, sheltie is like a step-child. If sheltie came after you two were together sheltie is like a child. Eiher way, if relationshp is serious/committed, sheltie and Glider would be YOUR (as in you and B/F relationship's) dogs and you lose the his/my dogs.

 

Does not sound to me like either of you are acting as a "family unit" with your dogs being part of the equation, and your dogs are your personal podsessions. These are just some thoughts I have.

[Guest ashphobiax]

I got glider a month ago and he has had babe for 3 years and we live together an have been together for 2 years he said shes been well behaved until I started caring for her I do everything for the dog and he doesn't do anything with her glider is so well behaved and doesn't act out except for a few accidents in the house I told him when we got glider that I wanted a dog that could go places with me also the sheltie gets REALLY car sick which I heard was common in herding dogs I also said to my boyfriend that what about people that have multiple dogs and need to take one somewhere why do they and he said "when the dog is well behaved its fine your dog isn't" it's so annoying He also told me before if a dog needs to go the sheltie will because of how she is and the whole reason we got her was because his parents didn't want her because of what she did to my bf.

 

 

Maybe I need to bring up maybe he should take care of his dog and I should take care of mine?

[GeorgeofNE]

Just an FYI; you're really not going to want to take your Greyhound "everywhere" if you're leaving him in the car. It's too cold during an average winter, and too hot during the average summer.

 

If you're taking him places and taking him in with you, then by all means, carry on.

 

I don't think your boyfriend understands dog behavior. And if he doesn't think you're doing a good job with his dog, tell him to take care of her himself.

 

It's hard for me to imagine why you got a Greyhound if you live with this man and care for him, but he didn't want one?

 

But I'm an old maid who lives alone and would never. ever, ever let a man tell me what to do with my dog...

[silverfish]

"As long as the sheltie doesn't destroy your house, I would leave her if she can't behave at your parents. Life isn't always "fair" in the dog world. Or, maybe your boyfriend can take her or be at home with her whlie you are off with Glider. Glider shouldn't be in a prison because the sheltie isn't trained properly.

 

 

I have two greyhounds and often take one out without the other.

 

I take Sid swimming - Ranger doesn't swim. Oh he doesn't mind floating in the water, but he won't swim, so why should I pay a fee to let him float?

 

I take Sid visiting as a PAT dog. Ranger is not allowed to go with him because he's not registered.

 

I take Ranger to the vet on his own - he's been multiple times without Sid.

 

Sometimes we take them walking separately. Personally, I think it makes sense to do this now and then so that in an emergency, you don't get a stressed, frantic 'home alone' dog who simply isn't used to being without his canine partner.

 

Sure they look upset the first time or two, but they get used to it. A domestic human/dog pack does NOT have to stay together all the time or you would never be able to go to work. Or does the rule apply only to dogs? If so, why?

 

she doesnt rip the house apart she acts out, she will bite (she's bit me and she ripped my boyfriends ear half off last year) but hes all about the "pack" and that they need to be together all the time and that they need to bond because they are dogs...

 

You cannot force dogs to bond. This is dangerous thinking. Actually, she sounds like a dangerous dog and I wouldn't want to be responsible for her, out and about. Yikes.

 

I agree with those who said that WHEN he trains her and she's a well-behaved dog, you might take her if you wish. Until then my answer would be a resounding 'no way'.

 

I got glider a month ago and he has had babe for 3 years and we live together an have been together for 2 years he said shes been well behaved until I started caring for her I do everything for the dog and he doesn't do anything with her glider is so well behaved and doesn't act out except for a few accidents in the house I told him when we got glider that I wanted a dog that could go places with me also the sheltie gets REALLY car sick which I heard was common in herding dogs I also said to my boyfriend that what about people that have multiple dogs and need to take one somewhere why do they and he said "when the dog is well behaved its fine your dog isn't" it's so annoying He also told me before if a dog needs to go the sheltie will because of how she is and the whole reason we got her was because his parents didn't want her because of what she did to my bf.

 

Huh??? His dog bites and 'acts out' when she doesn't get her way and it's YOUR dog that isn't well-behaved?? Wow.

 

Something is seriously wrong here.

 

 

Maybe I need to bring up maybe he should take care of his dog and I should take care of mine?

 

For starters, yes. I think I would.

[christinepi]

Looks to me like a relationship problem that finds its expression in a fight over the dogs. My hunch is that isn't the only problem area.

[Guest ashphobiax]

i dont leave glider in the car by himself im really weird about that if i go anywhere i go to the pet store or to my parents i dont really go anywhere else...

[JJNg]

Sounds like there are a lot of factors at play in this situation. Others have already addressed the relationship aspect, so I won't comment much on that. I am wondering, though... Does your BF take his sheltie out with him anywhere? And does he take Glider along if he does?

 

How does your BF's sheltie behave with him? Especially when you mention the biting incidents, I have to wonder if there are other problems present. IMO, a dog should not 'act out' and bite due to being left alone. That indicates to me there are other problems with the situation.

 

I have a friend who believes in an "all or none" policy for taking his dogs out, but personally, I don't think that's necessary. I currently have 4 dogs and will often just take 1-2 with me, sometimes even 3 and leave 1 at home alone. I feel bad about leaving just 1 alone, and try to at least leave 2, but they do fine. Back when I just had 2 dogs, I would take 1 and leave one, with no problems, but the 2 dogs weren't really bonded either.

 

IMO, "the pack" does not need to be together all the time. It's actually healthy for them to have some independence and one-on-one time with you. And especially if you're concerned about your parents' dog's welfare, you shouldn't take the sheltie over there.

 

And while some may believe in the blended household and that the dogs become a joint responsibility in a committed relationship, apparently that's not how some couples approach it. I know people who are married who still maintain a "his dog"/"her dog" distinction, with each individual being responsible for their own dogs. Guess it's just whatever works for you and your relationship.

 

I don't think it's fair for your BF to expect you to take full responsibility for caring for his dog, and then also try to dictate what you can and can't do with the dogs. If he's letting you take all the responsibility, then he also needs to let you make your own decisions in how you handle it. If he claims that his dog is behaving worse now that you're caring for her, maybe you need to back off and let him take over her care again.

[Feisty49]

Since I don't take kindly to being told what to do or not to do, my answer to your BF would be "No, I am not taking both dogs." Who says, besides himself, that his word is gold? Also, I know I would be unable to be comfortable around and/or trust a dog who has a history of biting.

[Ragsysmum]

Well I certainly wouldn't let BF dictate how you treat the two dogs as far as outings etc. are concerned. I have three and often take them out individually or two and one so they all get used to being left home alone or with only one of the others. You never know when you may have to leave one at the vets or (as mine are older) when one will die and leave the other one or two as only dogs for a while.