Having A Meltdown

[MP_the4pack]

The first month Pearl was gone (Feb 5), I felt I should have been crying more. But I wasn't. I don't know why considering she was the most important thing in my life for the past 8 yrs.

 

When Topaz died 10 yrs ago, every time I looked at adopting another white/black girl I cried. That told me I wasn't ready yet. Two years later when I saw Pearl down in Fla, I didn't cry. I actually was excited to get her. We bonded instantly. I knew I was ready then.

 

So this time around, I felt that my heart would once again tell me if it was too soon to adopt. I wanted someone to cuddle with. None of my other three do that. I saw Jetta on the NGAP website (she's white/black). Didn't say cuddler, but did say playful. I could use someone to play fetch with and play with Opal (Pearl was her playmate too).

 

Before I put in an application for her I found a blue brindle down in Fla that fit the bill perfectly. Playful, got along with other greys, cuddler. I thought Kamper would be a much better match for me because I knew I wouldn't see Pearl in her since she was a blue brindle. (and of course, being blue, I could keep the gem theme and call her Sapphire). I asked if they adopt to NJ. They do but they were keeping Kamper close to home because she was a little growly at M&Gs. I figured it was meant to be then and applied for Jetta.

 

Of course after I was approved, Fla. emailed me back stating that Kamper seemed fine. (thanks, but it's a little late now)

 

Well. I meet Jetta twice before putting in the application and neither time did I cry. She was much more like my other little w/b girl Opal. So I thought it would work out fine.

 

I brought Jetta, now called Jade, home last saturday and I did alright thru sunday. Probably because I had to work with her. (stairs, counter surfing, puppy proofing...she's into everything, stuff like that)

But Monday, I introduced her to the sofa and when she realized what that meant, she got up and snuggle right next to me. Her head on my lap.

When I looked down at her, all I saw was Pearl. I tried so hard to see Jade. But I couldn't. It was Pearl. My Pearl.

I've been crying a lot since.

[Guest paulownedbyfour]

I know the feeling we have been there. After a few months Jade will show you some differences that will seperate the two, but until then

[racindog]

This is just my opinion but it is what I have experienced and found to be true as have some others. Yes, it was Pearl. She was visiting you so you all could cuddle again. Jades color has nothing to do with it. Jade could be any color and you still would ahve recognized Pearls presence. Some people have found and believe that the dog that crossed over can return and visit again through another dogs body. The dog we loved that crossed over was spirit and the only thing that died was the body. The real dog we loved is OK -they're just not here in on earth with us in a body suit. They can only eturn like that if the earth dog gives permission for their body to be used that way. It should deepen the bond you are establishing with Jade that she allows this in order to please you by letting Pearl visit. You will probably notice Jade doing other unique Pearl things. It is not Jade. It is her allowing Pearl to visit you through her. It is a great blessing that you can still enjoy Pearls presence even if she's nto in her old Pearl body. I know this is "far out"-perhaps to far out for you to accept- but try to have an open mind. The heart knows things the mind can't understand. What happenned is something that should bring you great joy as should the other "Pearl things" you might see Jade doing. She is allowing it because she loves you too! JMO

[grey14me]

It doesn't matter who you think of when you see her, all she feels is love.

[Guest dramaqueen]

The same thing happened to me-- I had Kobi (brindle) & one month later I adopted Ruby. I wanted a grey other than brindle, but she picked me & I was hooked. Her personality is soooo different from Kobi, but even after 4 years I still see Kobi but instead of tearing up & crying I look at her and smile & go back to wonderful memories of Kobi and cuddle and love her up more and I thank goodness that I have her to keep my memories in my heart.

[Guest BlackandBrindle]

You adopted Jade for all the right reasons. You love and will love her more as you get to know her. Pearl, obviously, had a hand in bringing her to you. I'd like to believe that Pearl was visiting you as an above poster stated. When you share that kind of love with another being, I believe your bond is never broken, even by death.

 

From your post, it also sounds like you are moving into a different phase with your grief. Cry if you need to. Hug your pups. Know that we are all here for you and know that we all send our love.

[CaliforniaGreys]

This is just my opinion but it is what I have experienced and found to be true as have some others. Yes, it was Pearl. She was visiting you so you all could cuddle again. Jades color has nothing to do with it. Jade could be any color and you still would ahve recognized Pearls presence. Some people have found and believe that the dog that crossed over can return and visit again through another dogs body. The dog we loved that crossed over was spirit and the only thing that died was the body. The real dog we loved is OK -they're just not here in on earth with us in a body suit. They can only eturn like that if the earth dog gives permission for their body to be used that way. It should deepen the bond you are establishing with Jade that she allows this in order to please you by letting Pearl visit. You will probably notice Jade doing other unique Pearl things. It is not Jade. It is her allowing Pearl to visit you through her. It is a great blessing that you can still enjoy Pearls presence even if she's nto in her old Pearl body. I know this is "far out"-perhaps to far out for you to accept- but try to have an open mind. The heart knows things the mind can't understand. What happenned is something that should bring you great joy as should the other "Pearl things" you might see Jade doing. She is allowing it because she loves you too! JMO

 

Thank you for posting this, I hope it brings the OP comfort as it has me

[Guest bigbrindlebunny]

I know this is "far out"-perhaps to far out for you to accept- but try to have an open mind. The heart knows things the mind can't understand. What happenned is something that should bring you great joy as should the other "Pearl things" you might see Jade doing. She is allowing it because she loves you too! JMO

 

 

This may be a bit far out for me, but it's a real comforting thought and I'm glad it was posted. Believe it or not, you can't help but feel a little better after reading it.

 

Grey14me really nailed it in one for me. It's all just love to the dog, and that can't be bad.

Edited March 24, 2010 by bigbrindlebunny

[Magdalyn58]

I love what racindog wrote....

 

 

Our Sophie has been gone eleven months. We adopted another black girl six weeks later. Daisy was nothing like Sophie. Sophie did things that I missed so much. She was such a big cuddler and Daisy just wasn't. Sophie loved to curl up next to me on the sofa when my DH and I ate while watching TV. I could never picture Daisy doing these things.

 

But a few weeks ago, Daisy jumped on the sofa and laid down right next to me with her head in my lap. She clearly now wants to cuddle (a lot) and she gives me kisses. I now see Sophie in her and it makes me feel so good inside, as if an old, very much missed, friend is with me. So maybe you're right, Racindog. Maybe she's allowing Sophie to be there with us is some way.

 

By the way, Sophie's racing name was Jetta Sapphire.

[Guest 3greysinPA]

[Hollis]

MP-hugs, hugs, and more hugs.

 

 

 

This is just my opinion but it is what I have experienced and found to be true as have some others. Yes, it was Pearl. She was visiting you so you all could cuddle again. Jades color has nothing to do with it. Jade could be any color and you still would ahve recognized Pearls presence. Some people have found and believe that the dog that crossed over can return and visit again through another dogs body. The dog we loved that crossed over was spirit and the only thing that died was the body. The real dog we loved is OK -they're just not here in on earth with us in a body suit. They can only eturn like that if the earth dog gives permission for their body to be used that way. It should deepen the bond you are establishing with Jade that she allows this in order to please you by letting Pearl visit. You will probably notice Jade doing other unique Pearl things. It is not Jade. It is her allowing Pearl to visit you through her. It is a great blessing that you can still enjoy Pearls presence even if she's nto in her old Pearl body. I know this is "far out"-perhaps to far out for you to accept- but try to have an open mind. The heart knows things the mind can't understand. What happenned is something that should bring you great joy as should the other "Pearl things" you might see Jade doing. She is allowing it because she loves you too! JMO

 

THIS.....took my breath away. Thank you.

[Guest jenznaz]

*hugs* to you, I know how much it hurts. I ended up with another red brindle, and it was very hard for me in the beginning. I would see the back of my new guy and just start crying because it brought up such painful memories of my Naz. But the more I get to know Xilo, the more I realize he is a different dog, not better or worse than Naz, but different. Time has helped me, I'm sure it will help you, too.

[Batmom]

Hugs and more hugs.

 

It'll be OK. Dogs understand these things.

[Guest Greytluv]

[KF_in_Georgia]

There's a wonderful book, For Every Dog an Angel. It says, basically, that your heart dog comes back to take care of you and the new dog.

 

When I adopted Jacey after Oreo died, Jacey was nothing like Oreo. But about two weeks after she got here, Jacey and Sam conducted a pantry raid. Among the other things they spread all over my condo was a package of Oreo cookies. I think someone was trying to tell me something. (Wish she could have found a less messy way to do it.)

 

I never accidentally said "Oreo" when I meant "Jacey." Never, that is, until Jacey had been here for more than a year, and then it just...happened. Jacey has become more like Oreo over time--and that's comforting.

[Guest mcsheltie]

Love what racindog wrote!

 

I have had a black & white short haired male cat all my life. My very first cat was Groucho (mustache of course ) I was five when I got him. Shorty after he passed a stray of the same color appeared. And the same thing has happened every time. I now have Ziggy.

 

I have always felt the presence of all the past B&Ws in each new family member. Hard to put into words.

[Guest ss556]

Love what racingdog wrote as well. MY first thought, Mary Pat, is since you never did cry after Pearl left, that you are grieving her now. It was bound to come out at some point. Hoping that you can believe in what was said above. Hugs to you!

[DonnaBehr]

I'm soooooo happy you found Jetta at NGAP. I had been looking at her and looking at her but the inn is full. Apparently, she was waiting for you. Congratulations and good luck with Jade.

[MP_the4pack]

I'm soooooo happy you found Jetta at NGAP. I had been looking at her and looking at her but the inn is full. Apparently, she was waiting for you. Congratulations and good luck with Jade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I waited for several weeks (kinda hoping) that someone would take her, which would indicate to me I'm not supposed to have her. I really was torn between getting her and not getting anyone. If she showed up at NGAP 6 mos to a year later, I would have snatched her in a heartbeat without a moment's hesitation.

But unless she either jumps the fence or proves to be nasty to the rest of my pack, she's not going anywhere.

[racindog]

There's a wonderful book, For Every Dog an Angel. It says, basically, that your heart dog comes back to take care of you and the new dog.

 

When I adopted Jacey after Oreo died, Jacey was nothing like Oreo. But about two weeks after she got here, Jacey and Sam conducted a pantry raid. Among the other things they spread all over my condo was a package of Oreo cookies. I think someone was trying to tell me something. (Wish she could have found a less messy way to do it.)

 

I never accidentally said "Oreo" when I meant "Jacey." Never, that is, until Jacey had been here for more than a year, and then it just...happened. Jacey has become more like Oreo over time--and that's comforting.

I plan to get that book to read. Thanks for sharing it. Much of what I said and learned by experience is explained really well in a book called "Animals in Spirit" by Penelope Smith. It is a most enlightening and comforting book.

[CaliforniaGreys]

I plan to get that book to read. Thanks for sharing it. Much of what I said and learned by experience is explained really well in a book called "Animals in Spirit" by Penelope Smith. It is a most enlightening and comforting book

 

Excellent book. I had the pleasure of attending her seminars when she lived by SF. A lot of people think she's "out there" and she's considered the pioneer of communication.

She's a sweetheart, and I have always found her to be very comforting

[sabrina]

I got Sabrina because she didnt look like or act like Margo in anyway. So I thought but as time passes Ifind Sabrina is just as loving. It is the gift of giving love they have in common & NEVER forgeting Margo's love. It will be 5years

on 4/5 that Margo went to the bridge & everday I still talk to her & feel her love.

[Guest Heehoo]

Ohmygosh I know how you feel. We're humans, we're going to do stuff like this. 

 

There's a wonderful book, For Every Dog an Angel. It says, basically, that your heart dog comes back to take care of you and the new dog.

 

I've never read or heard of this book, but I've always believed it. I can't tell you how many times I've told someone that the one that leaves us, left that door open for the next one to come in. God put them with us for a reason, each one has a journey they travel with us. At the end of their journey, another takes over to help us through life. 

 

I experienced this with Bool. He left me on 2/28...the next day I met the spitting image of Bool in Dear. I had Dear for 5 years. The next one like Dear has been Smiley. To me, Smiley is the combination of both Dear & Gogh. My heart does not feel as heavy as it did without Gogh since Smiley came into my life March 6th. 

 

Jade is going to help mend your heart. 

 

 

[Guest gryhnd3]

This is just my opinion but it is what I have experienced and found to be true as have some others. Yes, it was Pearl. She was visiting you so you all could cuddle again. Jades color has nothing to do with it. Jade could be any color and you still would ahve recognized Pearls presence. Some people have found and believe that the dog that crossed over can return and visit again through another dogs body. The dog we loved that crossed over was spirit and the only thing that died was the body. The real dog we loved is OK -they're just not here in on earth with us in a body suit. They can only eturn like that if the earth dog gives permission for their body to be used that way. It should deepen the bond you are establishing with Jade that she allows this in order to please you by letting Pearl visit. You will probably notice Jade doing other unique Pearl things. It is not Jade. It is her allowing Pearl to visit you through her. It is a great blessing that you can still enjoy Pearls presence even if she's nto in her old Pearl body. I know this is "far out"-perhaps to far out for you to accept- but try to have an open mind. The heart knows things the mind can't understand. What happenned is something that should bring you great joy as should the other "Pearl things" you might see Jade doing. She is allowing it because she loves you too! JMO

 

Yes.

 

I recall when we lost our first horse unexpectedly, the animal communicator told us that he could come back to us in another horse's body, and when we asked him if he wanted us to get another horse, he said he did.

 

We just had to help our first greyhound cross over yesterday. We talked to him through an animal communicator the previous morning and out of everything that was communicated, one question he had was were we going to get another dog? I said no. He asked, why not? I hesitated for a minute, not sure how to word it, then just said because the two we have now are very unruly. He communicated that another rescue dog may come along and that he would like me to be open to it, not closed. Don't have to adopt it, but just be open to it. I asked what breed (because I have been thinking of getting a collie, not in the near future w/ the two we have now, though), and he said greyhound. Then I thought about it later, of course he said greyhound, he was one of those greys that did not like any other dog breed (fear manifested in aggression), but loved every grey that he met.

 

Reading this post tonight, my first day without him, truly my heart dog, my baby, it makes me wonder if he wants us to get another dog so he can come back to us. Unfortunately, that is really not in the plans and since we are not active w/ a group where we live now, I just don't see how we could possibly be presented with the option anyway, unless we purposely seek it.

[crazygang]

Glad you opened your heart.....No words just