Quality Of Life...*original Post Is From 2008*

[Guest MomoftheFuzzy]

Heather, Ken, and Grandpa Diane and Tootsie

 

I sympathize and I'm so sorry for all your pain. Putting Gino to sleep was, by far, the most difficult thing I've ever done. As much as it was what led him down a pain-free road, I still can never forgive myself.

 

 

[greytdogsks]

I understand what you are saying. It is a much more 'obvious' decision if/when your pet is ill in some way that you know they won't get better and/or the decision can be made with a smidge less guilt when their quality of life is basically gone, when the light is gone from their eyes, when they can't get around on their own, if they are in pain, etc.

 

But, when they still have a spark and various other 'normal' things .... it tears my heart out.

 

My first pet loss, a cat, had mammory cancer that metastized to her lungs. She didn't have treatment, but I worked and worked and tried to keep her eating .... for way too long. If I had delayed probably an hour (or so) longer in getting her to the vet, she probably would have gone on her own ... I should have done it a bit sooner, with a bit more dignity -- but, the decision wasn't terribly difficult -- it was obvious.

 

The next was my first dog. He went from fine, to having an ear infection (off balance, turning in circles, vomiting from motion sickness), to, what we guess, liver failure. X-rays showed 'something', liver values WAY out of whack, extremely anemic (white gums and ears). He couldn't stand up ... etc., etc. Due to work issues (I HAD to go out of town for a week), and no one to really take care of him adequately ... and his situation I had to make the decision. I felt quite a bit of guilt - though, he wouldn't have gotten better (he was 14), keeping him around just would have been for me.

 

The next was another cat. She was in kidney failure. She was down to 4 lbs. She was still walking around, snuggling up for love but not eating. I had her at the vet's for 2 days on IV's ... she didn't improve. It was extremely difficult to make that decision, i definitely felt that I was killing her. She could have lasted longer - but without eating ... and already at 4 lbs., it wouldn't have been long and I couldn't watch her get weaker and weaker.

 

Next was another cat. She was 17. 2 years prior, I had her at the vet's for a week on IV's getting through another one with kidney issues. After that week in the hospital, I had her another week. I was glad we went through that. The kidney's didn't 'get' her. She had an abnormality in her chest - I guess as a result she had smaller lungs - or at least a smaller cavity in which they could expand because if she was to strenuous, she would pant before any others. I really don't know what 'got' her, but I started noticing she was struggling for each breath - and it was getting worse. It was a Friday night, Saturday morning it was worse. I felt myself start to panic at the thought she might/would 'suffocate' and be terrified that she couldn't get air.

 

Most recently was my first greyhound loss. She always had challenges - but not life threatening. She stopped eating. i tried 'everything'. She went to the vet for various testing. We tried this or that. Nothing worked. She was down to 48lbs. The next thing the vet said they would suggest trying was to scope her -- but she would have to be 'out' to do that and the vet said she wouldn't do it .. she didn't want to lose her on the table - she wouldn't survive the anesthia. I made the decision.... but I think it was the hardest and I still tear myself up about it at times -- and that was almost 3 years ago. I couldn't stand to watch her waste away and I didn't know what else to do. She walked herself into the clinic, tail wagging, looking for love from whomever she saw. I question myself on this one quite frequently - but work to stop myself since I can't do anything about it now....

 

So, yes, I understand, from my point of view, what you are saying.

 

Sorry for the length ---- guess I just needed to get it out....

[GreyKarma]

I have been sitting here for the last hour trying to swallow back the tears and get the nerve to post.

 

Quality of life is what we give to our babies. We love them and give them all the best that we can.

When "life" starts to fail due to disease or aging we feel pain, sadness and anger. At my age I have had to make the decision too many times.

 

In March when my girl collapsed and was gone from the neck down I had to make that decision, but she gave me the "look" that said "its OK Mom" my legs will work up there.

 

What is hard for me is that I have worked in the same practice for 20yrs and when your co-workers and Dr. cry with you it is tough because they loved her too.

 

Since I joined GT I have read so much sadness, yet that sadness rebounded and gave "Quality of Life" to another. When the times comes to go to the bridge they will let you know, but it still does not make the heartache go away.

 

Well, the eye make-up is gone and my nose is running (darn allergies) time to go brush the cat litter off the bed and curl up with all creatures great and small.

 

Take care everyone.

 

 

[Guest GreysAndMoreGreys]

Dang Heather wish I read this thread before calling you. We would have had a total different conversation

 

I've shared with you a ton of my thoughts and feelings about this. We have cried together and laughed together on EVERYTHING GREYHOUND.

 

My whole outlook is if I wouldn't want to live the way my hounds are living them I will set them free.

Does it make it any easier H*LL NO but I can find comfort in it later knowing that I released them from whatever it was.

No one is easier than the other. who do I struggle with the most letting go? Dave and I think I shared that with you. He was not ready to go but his body said other wise. That is the hardest thing to handle.

 

I wish I had all the correct answers, I wish I had the magic wand to make it all better. I don't, but what I do have and I offer it to you is my support, my ears to listen, and my voice to share with you. I'm always here for you day or night, when ever you need me I'm just a phone call away. Screw those overtime minutes

 

Plus I have all the faith and trust in the world with you and Ken to always choose what is best for your hounds.

[BootsyCollins]

What interesting timing for this thread. My sister and I were just talking about her last dog - he had Cushing's and she had to make the big decision before she was ready. He had many similar behaviors to the ones you're describing of Grandpa. He lasted a long time after his diagnosis, but it didn't make it any easier to watch his decline. He was 12, which is old for a great dane (well he was a mix). I still miss him and wish he could have known Argos.

 

Reminds me of the "ten commandments for dogs" - link - the last one is about going with them on their last journey. That is all we can do for them.

 

Hang in there - Grandpa is so blessed to have you in his life, and you are so blessed to have him in yours.

[FosterFlunker]

I was so hoping Angus would make it to his 14th birthday. He had had 2 bouts of sickness and got better from both. He had lost a lot of weight and I was trying to get some put back on him. He lost the use of his back legs whilst I was in Alaska and my daughter and grandson had to make the decision for me. My cell phone had died and they could not contact me until we got back from a few days camping and I could charge my phone again. My daughter took a video of him at the vets office where he was trying to get up and couldn't. It was several weeks before I could even watch that video. It broke my heart. Angus would have been 14 on Sept 11 he was pts on July 5th.

[Jiffer]

I haven't had to make that decision.. but I know I will eventually.

 

I have seen other people who have kept their old dogs around longer than they should have and I've watched dogs suffer and become introverted and depressed.

 

One woman I knew had a cocker spaniel who was 15 years old, covered in open and bleeding warts, full of cancer inside and unable to walk. I saw that dog lay there day in and day out, barely able to lift her head. Her tail didn't wag anymore. She never did the fun things that a dog enjoys anymore.. she couldn't. Even to go potty, she had to be carried outside and held up. She just wanted release and her mom couldn't bring herself to do it. She was like that for a long time... too long.

After witnessing that, I swore that I would never ever let an animal in my care suffer for any longer than is necessary. I really do believe that I owe it to them to leave this world with dignity.

[Guest meakah]

I, too, have been there. It was about 15 years ago and it STILL haunts me to this day. I am actually shedding tears thinking about it. It was my precious cat Bud. He was only 2 years old and suffered from anti-freeze poisoning. It was the worst thing I have ever witnessed in my entire life....his deterioration will haunt me forever. I let it go on WAY too long in hopes he would just bounce back...that some miracle would happen and he would be ok. On his final day I remember laying on the floor with him for an hour before I had to leave the house...he had hardly any body heat yet I for some reason couldn't face the fact he was not going to get better. I was waiting for blood results from the previous day and they came in that afternoon when I was not home. The results...his organs were shutting down. I burst out crying knowing I had to do it...he was not going to get better and that I had to take his life into my own hands. I cried and cried all the way home and when I got home....he was gone. I can never forgive myself for letting him go like that...all alone....for 7 days he deteriorated. He did not deserve to suffer like that. He was just a baby. I can only hope that I will be able to make a more rational decision if I am faced with a similar situation again. I let him down....

 

And on the topic of antifreeze....my vet said he may have had only 1 lick...ONE LICK. Please make sure you do not leave ANY antifreeze around anywhere....if you spill any on the driveway, clean it up as best you can. One lick is all it takes....

[Guest HoustonGreys]

After I voted I realized I voted incorrectly. My vote was there was always an illness etc. but after really thinking about it I think I should've said I put one down for quality of life and that would've been Amy. You see, the vet had drawn blood to be sent to AZ and since she lost her back end and couldn't even pee by herself, we did not wait for the blood tests before we put her down. The vet did call when the tests came back and told me we had done the right thing because she had advanced Babesia that had gone into her central nervous system and in his opinion and 2 other vets in the office, the protocol for treatment would've killed a well dog. I think he must've know what a relief that was to me. He said Amy was mis-diagnosed awhile back and treated for Erlichia (I probably spelled that wrong) and the Doxy made her show some improvement but did not work on Babesia. It is always a horrible decision to make under any circumstances.

[HJsM]

I was there on 7/20/08 and it's the hardest thing in the world.

 

I think we DO know when it is time. The trick is not rehashing "what could I have done different? what if I'd given it a few more days? what if I had tried so and so?"

 

Raisin was NOT going to come back from what ailed her. She probably would have, indeed, kept on LIVING for a while longer, but I doubt it would have been anything meaningful. I saw it in her eyes for several days before she went to the Bridge.

 

When she could not manage potty time on her own, I had to make the decision.

 

Anyhow, peace and good thoughts for Grandpa. There is no right or comforting answer here.

[Guest LindsaySF]

I voted for option 3. Three dogs, 1 cat, 2 ferrets, and multiple rats due to health issues. One dog (foster failure) due to severe aggression towards people. I have had "the talk" about Cody multiple times, due to his fear issues and fear aggression.

 

 

 

"Right" is perhaps a more fitting word. To me, it isn't right to allow an animal to suffer, without hope of ease, when we have it in our power to stop their suffering. I made a promise to each of my dogs that I would not allow them to suffer. I have kept that promise and mean to continue keeping it.

 

Suffering doesn't mean only physical pain. Confusion and fear are types of suffering, too. I would not want those things to overpower any pleasure a dog could have in life.

Well said.

 

I usually think of it this way, it is better to do it "too soon" than "too late". If you have a dog that is not going to get better, is suffering on occasion but still has good days, that is the time to really think hard about putting them to sleep. You don't want to wait until the dog is completely miserable and in pain, unable to get up, has been refusing food for days, etc. At that point, the dog is truly suffering, and the decision probably should have been made at least 24 hours before it got to that point.

 

We waited too long with my aunt's Chow Beau. I know that now. He had been 'off' for a while, not eating a lot, not moving too much (he was 13 and had arthritis). I didn't see how bad he really was, I thought it was typical old age stuff, but one day he refused to get up, had labored breathing, and had to be carried into the vet's office. She listened to his heart and belly and said it sounded like fluid build up in the abdomen. We put him to sleep that morning. My mom said a few months later that she believed we had waited too long. We ignored earlier signs like him not getting up anymore for cookies, refusing meals, not going down the stairs into the yard, losing traction and his feet going out from under him, etc. In retrospect, he was not a very happy dog for his last few weeks, maybe even longer, and we really should have put him down sooner. We should not have waited until he was breathing heavy and would not get up. I think it would have been more pleasant for him to be able to walk into that vet's office.

 

My dog Nicki, I think I made the right decision. She was tentatively diagnosed with lymphoma on a Thursday (facial swelling and swollen lymph nodes all over her body). She was almost 12 and terrified of the vet, so I opted not to do chemo, we got prednisone instead. Late that Sunday night her face and lymph nodes were so swollen that she was breathing heavily, and she put herself into a corner by the couch, face first. I brought her to the ER vet that night. Once I got her leash on, she acted fine! She walked into the car, climbed into the seat with me, walked around outside the vet's office peeing in the bushes, etc. I started to have second thoughts, but then I decided it was better this way. The vet told me she was using her last bits of energy to appear ok because we were out and about, her "true state" was what I had seen at home. She said a lot of sick dogs act this way. I decided her last few moments should be happy ones, I should do it now before she is gasping for every breath. She was put down early Monday morning. Could she have "lived" longer? Probably. But it was time.

 

My ferret Harley had cancer, and he slowly deteriorated over a few months. He always ate his food, it just had to be mashed and syringe-fed with his medicine. The night he absolutely refused food for a whole day, acted very lethargic, also would not drink water, it was time. I decided to go to the ER vet rather than wait until the next day. He perked up a little at the vet, but I knew it was time. He had a peaceful death in my arms, and I do believe he was not in any pain. That's the way it should be. I think if I had waited until the next day or the day after, he would have been suffering.

 

 

 

 

~Lindsay~

[Bevd]

I've not yet read the other replies.

 

I said that options 1 & 2 apply.

 

Maddison had to be PTS due to fibrosarcoma.

 

Del had to be PTS because old age caught up with him and he was struggling to go on.

 

Jessie was PTS for the same reasons as Del.

 

Flo was PTS due to heart failure.

 

Stanley was PTS due to arthritis making it impossible to go on.

 

Sally was PTS due to the same reasons as Del & Jessie.

 

 

Certainly, when there is a definate ailment involved, the decision can be more definitive but in all honesty, the decision is still never clear cut (with the exception of Flo, with her heart failure). With ALL the others mentioned above, they could have lived another day or another week or maybe longer, but to allow them to have done so would have made them struggle in one way or another, either physically, mentally or both. And I don't want their last days/weeks on earth to be terrible ones - I want them to be as good as they can be, given the circumstances.

 

There has come a time with each one of the dogs above where watching them try their hardest to continue has become like a physical pain for both myself and DH and we've made the call. There may be outsiders who have looked in and thought that the call was made too early but I don't give two *beeeeps* for what anyone else thinks. They are OUR dogs and we'll make the call when WE feel the time is right. (I don't mean outsiders here on GT, I just mean in general).

 

The upshot for me is that on the day concerned, for each of the dogs, I have known that the day had arrived. I just pray that I continue to know at the right time and never allow a dog to go on longer, for my own benefit, rather than theirs.

 

(I'll read everyone elses replies when I get back from the Red Cross. It was not going to be a good idea to read them before I have to leave the house)

[scullysmum]

All three of my dogs have been put to sleep due to illnesses, although only two were my decision as Scully was pts under anaesthetic when his tumour started to bleed out I did have to decide for one of my cats who was very old and just struggling with life, but it was the right thing for him and I had no regrets. The hardest one I ever had to decide was a three month old foal which didn't have any illnesses or injuries but who was born with congenital deformities and as she grew she was finding it harder to get around...she really should have been pts at birth but the vet lied to me and told me that she could be helped with surgery (I know he lied because he told one of the other vets who subsequently told me ) ....but although it was hard to do it taught me a valuable lesson that no matter how short a life is it is always worthwhile.

 

I am sorry that Grandpa is struggling at the moment, I hope that you can find some way to make him happier.

 

p.s I would be happy to have one of my dogs live to double figures, you must be doing something right by your puppers

Edited September 4, 2008 by scullysmum

[Guest Cris_M]

Oh, Heather, I am so sorry. No matter why (illness/no illness) the decision is made, it sucks. You grieve over it before you make the decision, you grieve over it while the decision is being enacted, and you grieve over it afterward. And none of those types of grief is any better or worse that the other. Each moment gets tatooed in your mind; ready to be rehashed, ready at any moment to overwhelm you afresh with the pain, ready to knock you to your knees.

 

I know this sounds a bit removed. It is actually so painful to me that it is hard to let myself go there. Years don't erase the pain. They make it easier to put it away for a time. And, when it is time for the decision to be made for another dog, all those previous decisions line up demanding that they be remembered and honored.

 

It sucks, and the only alternative is to separate yourself from the reality emotionally. That makes you the kind of person you never want to be. The person you aren't even capable of being. Much as it hurts, be proud of yourself for loving so deeply and freely, and for giving to and receiving so much from your beloved companions.

 

My heart goes out to you. Painful as it is, both for us and you, thank you for sharing. It reminds us all that we share a link with each other, that there are others who understand completely, and that it is okay for our hearts to always be broken a bit.

[Guest MomofSweetPotatoes]

Both options 1 and 2 apply.

Chip was put to sleep at 12 years old due to quality of life

Gus was put to sleep at 14 years old Osteo in his shoulder

Penny was put to sleep just shy of 15 Osteo in her pelvis

 

I have killed 3 of my dogs, it hurt, it was the worst thing and I'll never forget. Those moments made me feel more human than ever. The emotions, sadness, and pain were raw; those feelings are still with me but have been tucked away. Every now and again they do creep back to the suface.

 

There's nothing that one can say to make it easier, there's nothing that can be done to make it easier. It's the cross we have to bare by keeping animal companions. They are pure happiness, live in the moment, and cause us to do the same. It's only the reality of illness and age that cause us to view the future with trepidation.

 

Heather, I am sorry you are facing this. Diane, I didn't know Tootsie was not well.

 

Wishing you peace as you make your decisions.

Edited September 4, 2008 by MomofSweetPotatoes

[Fiona3]

This is such an emotional topic. We have faced the situations in which we feared it was too soon and another where we wished we had acted sooner. Five times we have gone thru this in the last 7 years.

 

In 3 cases, it was a clear cut case of terrible illness - cancer, Lupus and heart failure. It still was heart breaking to have to make the choice.

 

Lucy (our fawn grey) suffered terribly for 5 days while we tried to get a diagnosis and treatment for her. What seemed a simple case of mild stomach upset turned into Sepsis, two surgeries and misery for her. We discovered later that she had intestinal cancer and would have spared her those extra days of pain - that has haunted me and always makes me cry when I think of her suffering.

 

Hobbes was full of life even though he had just turned 14. He had been ill and going down hill for a year or two but mentally he was as sweet and happy as ever. He had developed cancer of the spine. His legs suddenly gave out on that last afternoon and he couldn't hold his weight on the back ones at all. He was confused and panicky and struggling to get up. I had to make that decision and it did feel like I was killing him. There is always the second guessing "What if we had tried more steroid shots, what if we had waited a little longer". You can't help it, the guilt is there even when you realize there was nothing more that could be done due to the cancer.

 

I wish we didn't have to face these gut-wrenching decisions - but I feel it is my responsibility to protect them even to this end. I hate making this choice for them and I never feel good about it, whatever the reason.

 

To all those who are about to walk this path - my heart is with you, there is understanding here and my thoughts will be with you.

 

[Guest greyscot]

I've been going through this with my non grey Shirley. One of the vets said she had entered 'that grey area' where the decision to put her down or keep going was very difficult. I have to confess I was a breath away from letting her go. Did I make the right decision not to? On the whole yes. But it is a daily struggle wondering if she is happy. She is 15 and a very different dog in the past year. She is bad tempered on her off days, getting her to eat is a daily battle (much better since I added nutritional yeast) and just wondering WHEN that day will come. Yes she still enjoys her walks and her little play time with her stuffies but sometimes it is really hard. I've cancelled 3 holidays this year because I did not want to leave her and some days I am so tired I cannot think straight. But when she stops playing and the sparkle leaves her then I'll let her go. It's the most difficult decision but I believe it is a kindness. You know you have done everything for your animals and that is all that you can do. to you at this time.

[Guest vahoundlover]

 

I pray to God Allan and I are doing the right thing...the appt is made for tomorrow for us to say goodbye to our little man....

 

 

[Neighsayer]

I feel for all of you who are going through this. I am at that point with my 14 year old chow. She is deaf, barks at nothing, refuses some meals, zones out at times, falls up or down the steps sometimes, pants a lot, walks like she is drunk and stands with her head in the corner. She still has that spark in her eye and still loves to come out with me to feed the horses twice a day. She still gets excited, runs in circles and wags her tail when I come home. She is at my side now trying to get me up from the computer to go feed. Several times now I have made the decision to make that call but she is great the next day. I have resigned myself that she will not go through another winter. Hug those doggies! We never know how much time we have left!

[Guest Becki]

 

Honestly, I have more guilt for the one we didn't choose to have PTS than the one we did. Brandy's last day was terrible, but he was terrified of the e-vet and our vet was out of town for the weekend. I just wanted to get him through to Monday so he didn't have to go to the e-vet and he passed away in the only 15 minutes we were out of the house that Saturday. My heart aches and my eyes tear when I think of him alone, dying, in pain because of a decision I made. I firmly believe he waited for me to leave before he died and there is nothing I could have done about it then, but I should have made the decision sooner. He was three weeks short of 17 and slowing down, but the picture of happiness until the day before his death.

 

While we made the decision to have Murph pts, and DH held him in his arms and I stroked his head while the drugs went into his system, I don't feel like we killed him. He was dying, too, we just helped the process along a little faster. I have no doubt he would have been dead by morning if we hadn't gone in and I couldn't see him suffer the way Brandy did.

 

It isn't easy. At times, I look at our household and think we will have to go through similar situations at least 10 more times with the six dogs and four cats we have. Then I think that we never should have added one more after Brandy died. Then I realize that our lives and theirs are better for having been brought together.

 

I am sorry you are at this point with Grandpa and I hope your appointment brings you peace tomorrow, no matter what decisions you choose to make.

[cello]

I have not had a chance to read all the replies yet, but wanted to add my story. 3 1/2 years ago we had to put our 14 year old Springer Spaniel down. Many of you have mentioned that you felt a great deal of guilt about the decision to make that choice for your pet. I too feel guilt, but not in the way that most of you have posted. I feel tremendous guilt for having prolonged Charlie's life an extra couple of days. He was very old, pretty much deaf and blind and had cognitive issues. He went from just being 'old' to deathly ill in a matter of a couple of days. We had no idea that he was as sick as he was. His last night on earth was one filled with pain and suffering. For that I feel guilt. I should have made the 'decision' earlier. No matter how much I wanted to believe that he would feel better the next day, I should have been the one to make the ultimate choice for him. For that I will feel guilty for the rest of my life. I have made my hounds a promise that I will let them go a day early rather then risk waiting a day too long. For THEM.

Carol Ann

[Guest Winterwish]

Heather I'm sorry Grandpa has not been feeling as well as he used to,and Diane and Tootsie,and each of you whose pups are going thru' such things as to think about having to say goodbye for now.

 

For me,I knew they were returning to where they came from,to the source,love. They are always love,they come from love,they return to Love.

I feel upset that many of you felt like you 'killed' your beloved pups,even tho' they were deathly ill or suffering,and am sorry to hear that.

We've been afforded I'll say,a sacred,ability to help our dogs when they are suffering and entering the journey of leaving their physical self here,and if not done,they will suffer to death.

The devastation to us is absolute,don't I know it. But my God,more devastating would be to not be able to help them in this way. Seeing their pain,their fear.

My experience was that I was helping them return to the place of pure Love in peace and ending their suffering,not their life. Their journey to heaven had already begun.

Edited September 22, 2008 by Winterwish

[Guest DarkHorse]

I and my parents made the decision (I was nearly 17 at the time) to send their Shepard/Lab mutt rescue to the Bridge. He'd been in pain for almost two years; at first he just needed supplements, then added in meds, then just the meds. It got to the point where the meds couldn't control the pain anymore and he was even getting aggressive with us due to it. I was sad to let him go but it was that or let him suffer.

 

I was sad but I do think it was what was best, for him and for the family. I know that if I were in incurable pain to the point where I was no longer myself, I'd want to go.

[Guest whatahound]

Heather,

 

I'm so sorry Grandpa is going through this. I have had to make the dreaded decision twice, and I can honestly say it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I lost my father 10 years ago but making that decision was harder. I know that sounds really bad but it was very difficult for me.

 

I knew I was doing the right thing, but saying goodbye and knowing that I would not see my sweet little angel again was unbearable. After each loss I told myself that I would not get that attached to another pet. I found that my life felt very empty without the unconditional love that only comes from a dog.

 

After really thinking it all over, the love and good times they give us so out weigh the pain of losing them. That is what really matters.

 

[NeylasMom]

Heather

 

My vote was for the last one, Neyla and Zuri are my first two dogs, although I did have to put my childhood cat to sleep when I was about 22. That one haunted me for a while, but it was because I wasn't sure I had done it soon enough, or had handled his illness up until that point appropriately. I was young and it was my first pet, who for the bulk of the time had been cared for (medically at least) by my mom. He stayed with her while I was in college, and it was only after I moved to DC that I could bring him with me. By then he was quite old and we didn't have that long before he got sick. So not having much experience, all I can offer is that I think it haunts you more when you wait too long and see your pet suffer more than he should have.

 

To everyone else who is contemplating this decision right now, and especially to vahoundlover

Edited September 4, 2008 by NeylasMom