Guest jettcricket Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 ....thinking of you and your sweet Hershey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ejw Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 I can't get past the idea that by withholding his chemo, I am killing him. YOU are not killing him -- cancer is. You did not wish this for him, and you fought it no holds barred. At some point, either the cancer makes it clear that treatment isn't of value anymore, or quality of life determines it's time to stop. Unfortunately, the tormenting "if's " surface, whichever decision is made. You will both be in my prayers. and for you and Hershey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LolasMom Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carronstar Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Right now I feel like the worst mom EVER. I can't get past the idea that by withholding his chemo, I am killing him. There's just no other way I can look at it. I can continue to give him treatments to fight this awful thing, but will not. But I just don't have the heart to put him through these side effects any more. The first month of chemo he did so well with no side effects, so I pursued this. Now he can't handle the same drugs he used to be able to. And I can't knowingly give him something I know for a fact will make him sick. Sending many, many prayers for you and Hershey. You are NOT the worst mom ever. You are doing what is best for Hershey, step by step, moment by moment. He will let you know what he needs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greytpups Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Sending healing thoughts and gentle hugs for you both. Jan with precious pups Emmy (Stormin J Flag) and Simon (Nitro Si) and Abbey Field. Missing my angels: Bailey Buffetbobleclair 11/11/98-17/12/09; Ben Task Rapid Wave 5/5/02-2/11/15; Brooke Glo's Destroyer 7/09/06-21/06/16 and Katie Crazykatiebug 12/11/06 -21/08/21. My blog about grief The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not get over the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to. ― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gottaluvgreysindy Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Hershey is a lucky pup to have such a wonderful mom, that is a fact!!!!! You will be in my prayers. DON'T give up hope. God is good all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ohiogreymom Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Sending for you, and for Hershey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenniferS Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 Carolyn, we're thinking about you during this difficult time. -Jen & QM Forever in my heart: my girl Raspberry & my boys Quiet Man, Murphy, Ducky, Wylie & Theo www.greyhoundadventures.org & www.greyhoundamberalert.org & www.duckypaws.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelseysmom Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 Carolyn, so many here have said what is also in my heart. You and John love Hershey and Sonie with all of your being and you know that you're making an incredibly selfless decision. You are doing what is best for Hershey and not what is best for you. I would hope to be strong enough to make exactly the same decision and give Hershey a good quality of life above a painful quantity of life. You're not alone. There are many friends and professionals to help you make the decisions you need to make for Hershey. Please don't beat yourself up because that will only work against the quality of time you want to spend with Hershey for whatever time you have left together. Chris, with Bixby (aka Clive Bixby, fka Taplin's Bull) and the feline buggle brothers, Oliver and Salem. Kelsey (Watch the Kick), forever in my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Honeysmom Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 :hope Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grey14me Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 hugs and prayers :grouphug :hope Michelle...forever missing her girls, Holly 5/22/99-9/13/10 and Bailey 8/1/93-7/11/05 Religion is the smile on a dog...Edie Brickell Wag more, bark less :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest WarmheartedPups Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 You are doing the best thing possible for Hershey......I would be doing exactly what you are doing. I am so very sorry. Hugs to you all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest argolola Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 My heart is breaking for you both. You and Hershey will be in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest vahoundlover Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 I am so sorry you and Hershey are going through this My thoughts and prayers are with you guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tydyelady Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 Prayers for Hershey and you. You love your boy, and you will know what the best course of action is, when the time comes. It is never easy, and you always second guess your decision, but deep in your heart you will know what is best. Mom to Toley (Astascocita Toley) DOB 1/12/09, and Bridge Angel Opie (Wine Sips Away) 3/14/03-12/29/12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patricia Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 I am thinking of both of you tonight. I know your every emotion...your heartache. We went through this with Angel LaceyLaine. Sending my prayers and my heart. Patti-Mommy of Lady Sophia 7-28-92 - 8-3-04... LaceyLaine 8-2-94-12-5-07... Flash Gordon 7-14-99 - 8-29-09... BrookLynne...Pavé Maria... and 18 Bridge Kids. WATCHING OVER US~SOPHIA~QUEENIE~LACEY LAINE~ CODY ANGELO~FLASH GORDON. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest houndstooth4 Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 I'm sorry. It sucks that sometimes even when you do all the right things, it still isn't enough. I think you're being a great mom to Hershey! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest greytexplorer Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 OMG I cannot imagine....prayers for all.... ~Pat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burpdog Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 and soft scritches for Hershey. Sending lots of prayers. Diane & The Senior Gang Burpdog Biscuits Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nancy14 Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 So sorry. Lots of kisses for your sweet boy and hugs for you. From Wisconsin -- It's Nancy, Bob, Carla, June Bug and our newby Skorch.... along with Buffy. She's the little hound that meows. With loving memorials to K.C., Barko and Major Turn -- all playing at the bridge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest FullMetalFrank Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 Your post has me in tears; Hershey is such a brave, beautiful boy and it made me so sad to read that you feel like you are killing him; it's not you, it's the cancer and you have done nothing but the very best you could for Hershey. Your love for him is so obvious in your posts; and so inspirational. I hope he turns the corner and you get to have more time with him; you will both be in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greytlady94 Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 I am so, so sorry this is happening to Hershey. You have done the very best you could. You tried to provide the chemo, but his body is saying no. You have been a good mom. The cancer is evil, it has robbed so many of our babies, robbed them of their health and the years of love they could have received. I am so sorry for Hershey and for your pain. My prayers are with you. Greyhound angels at the bridge- Casey, Charlie, Maggie, Molly, Renie, Lucy & Teddy. Beagle angels Peanut and Charlie. And to all the 4 legged Bridge souls who have touched my heart, thank you. When a greyhound looks into you eyes it seems they touch your very soul. "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more then he loves himself". Josh Billings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest HersheysMom Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 I just don't know what to say except thank you so much each and every one of you for your replies here and the pms I have received. You are all so wonderful. I am calling today to cancel Monday's chemo and schedule the ultrasound & chest x-ray. I hate to even put him through that, but without knowing if those tumors are still there I have no real idea of how much pain he is in, and cannot be realistic about whether he will gain any weight back. He ate 1/2 large can of Pedigree and a whole McDonalds bacon cheeseburger on his own yesterday, and a few cookies, which is great. He was syringe fed twice also with a high calorie mixture. But even if his eating picks up if the tumors are still there robbing him of his nutrients if won't make any difference. I need to know that. The clinic manager loves him like her own dog and is over 2-3 times a day checking on him. She says he's still bright and it's not time yet. I trust her, but I also don't want to wait too long and have him suffer. So I guess a lot of this depends on the outcome of the ultrasound and x-ray. He seems bright because he's fighting for us, and I love him for that. He is an amazing dog with an incredible capability to bounce back from death's door, as he's done a few times since this all started. John and I need to decide for him when it is time because he will just keep fighting for us. That makes it so hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest trevdog Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 Sending lots of prayers to you both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaineysMom Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 I'm so sorry you both are going through all of this :sad1 sending prayers!!!! :hope :hope Kim and Bruce - with Rick (Rick Roufus 6/30/16) and missing my sweet greyhound Angels Rainey (LG's Rainey 10/4/2000 - 3/8/2011), Anubis (RJ's Saint Nick 12/25/2001 - 9/12/12) and Zeke (Hey Who Whiz It 4/6/2009 - 7/20/2020) and Larry (PTL Laroach 2/24/2007 - 8/2/2020) -- and Chester (Lab) (8/31/1990 - 5/3/2005), Captain (Schipperke) (10/12/1992 - 6/13/2005) and Remy (GSP) (?/?/1998 - 1/6/2005) at the bridge"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." -- Ernest Hemmingway Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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