What Helped You Heal?

[Guest lynne893]

Hi friends,

I am missing our sweet greyhound, Timber, so much. She passed away a little more than 3 months ago now, and I feel like I'm not lifting out of depression.

 

She was our only dog. We live in a 1-bedroom apartment, and are currently trying to buy a home. DH promises that we can adopt two greyhounds once we own a home. For now we're saving our money, and he wants to wait until we're settled into our new place and affording the mortgage ok before we bring a dog or dogs into our lives again.

 

Truthfully, I think he's a bit relieved to not have the expense and responsibilities of dog ownership for a while, and deep in my heart I feel like that's the reason he's making me wait.

 

I know he has a point about affording a new mortgage, I get it, but I so sorely miss Timber and want the presence of a dog back in my life.

 

What did you do to heal from the loss of your dog? What kinds of hobbies, activities, etc. helped you? Short of adopting a new dog....

 

Thank you.

[CaliforniaGreys]

I can tell you that I haven't healed, but I have other Greys that keep me going. I have to be "up" for them. I am all they have so I need to keep going.

[Guest BellesDad]

After my Belle's death I was devastated and also depressed for months. I found a Greyhound kennel nearby and visited every weekend and walked and played with the greyhounds. It was very theraputic. I eventually adopted Dreamer. I still miss Belle so much though, I don't think that ever goes away. Good Luck. Hang in there it will get better albeit slowly

[Greytlady94]

Waiting until you have your own home is a good reason to wait, it just depends on your situation and no one knows that but you and your DH.

 

Is there a greyhound group near you where you can volunteer some time each week? Walking them, bathing, etc. Even if it is a meet and greet you could help out, answer questions etc. Here are a couple I found.

 

GPA group

 

GreySave

 

Hemopet

 

I know of some folks with our group who could not adopt, but wanted to be around the greyhounds, and that is what they did. They became regular volunteers until they were in the position to adopt again.

 

Earlier this week I took my Teddy to a specialty vet clinic for an ultrasound and while there I was talking with a lady who told me that she and her DH had lost two greyhounds very close together and her husband did not want to adopt or even be around greyhounds because it was too painful for him. She, however, needed to be around other greyhounds in order to begin healing. She started coming to the kennel every Sunday for 2 or 3 hours and just walked the greys waiting for adoption. Eventually her DH was ready again.

 

I hope you are able to work something out that will be OK for both of you. I know how hard it is when we lose them.

[Charlies_Dad]

I think the volunteering with a group is an excellent idea! I feel for you and know the pain...we adopted a first Grey to help us at that time but I know now that helping at a kennel would be something I would do when it's my time again.

Edited December 20, 2009 by Charlies_Dad

[Guest Heehoo]

With Sadie-Grey, my first greyhound, it was adopting Snowy 10 days later. Then getting involved with the adoption kennel.

 

When I lost Bool in 2003, I met Dear the next day & it was like Bool all over again. I lost Pegasus in 2006, and having more pups around me, keeping me busy helped a lot. I had knee replacement 3 months later & being away from home & the doggies made me love them that much more, and appreciate them that much more.

 

When I lost Dear, it seemed like my whole world just shattered. I lost him in January, lost BuyCut suddenly in February & then lost Snowy in May. Seven months later I fell & broke my ankle leg & arm. Then I lost Gogh to osteo.

 

My best advise though is rise above your pain. Don't try to forget them, keep them in your heart, keep their memories fresh in your mind. Dream of the ones you will adopt in the future. If you get a chance, you see someone who is suffering also, reach out to them. Yes, it brings all the bad memories back to the front, but you're helping not only someone get through their pain, but you're getting through your pain also.

 

I wish you a lot of luck & know that we are all here to help you. We can all say we honestly know what you're going through.

 

Hilda

Edited December 20, 2009 by Heehoo

[tornadosgirl]

Time had really helped me. And the wonderful support I've gotten here on GT.

[kjw]

I've lost 2 of my hounds, the first was Cody back in April of 2004. He was only 6 and it was quite a shock, he went down in the backyard and bled to death in my arms. The support I received here at GT got me through that horrible time, and spending time with the other hounds, along with the passage of time was what helped me.

 

We recently lost Lou back in October, he was almost 12 and very ill when he passed, but it was still really hard. I still miss him and the pain is rather fresh at this point, but I know now that spending time with other greyhound lovers, along with my other hounds, will help soften the pain and time will do the rest.

 

I hope in time that you're able to soften the pain so that you just remember your pupper with love, and not loss.

[RobinM]

We had our others to keep us going after we lost Polli. Also knowing there were so many out there waiting made my decision to adopt easy.

 

I still miss Polli some days are worse than others, but having the others surely helps.

[Guest ThunderPaws]

Having other dogs around really helps me, they keep me occupied.

When I had to put down my first dog, a mutt of 16 years, I adopted a greyhound the very next day. I already knew I get a greyhound once my mutt is gone, and no way I would've stayed in my house all alone without a dog. From then on I always had several dogs. But it's never easy, even with a herd of hounds.

[Guest ss556]

I lost Alan 8 months ago. I started writing in a journal daily about 3 days after he "left". I find that this helps me although I don't write daily anymore. He was our only greyhound too and my DH said we should wait before considering adopting again, for our own reasons. At first it was hard for me to see other greyhounds, but that got easier with time. GT had helped me a lot too. I am still having some difficult days, cannot believe the enormous void and heartache I have, but I hope that one day, when I am ready, I will adopt again. I understand how you feel and if you know you will be adopting again, that is something good to look forward to. I hope all works out well for you.

[brandimom]

What helped me heal was getting another greyhound to focus on but I know that does not work for you right now. Maybe do some volunteering at an animal shelter such as walking a dog or brushing different dogs?

[Burpdog]

Other dogs need me. They are loved too so it helps.

 

Can you foster?

[fourofem]

I was a mess after I lost Lewis but I had a lot of support from my other three. I had to get myself together for them. I was in a position to adopt again a month or so later and that's what really got me past Lewis. Since you're not ready yet, I agree with what a lot of folks are saying here....volunteer!!! Most groups would appreciate any time you could give...a bath, a walk, a little socializing, anything. That way, you get your fix until you can adopt again and a lot of dogs will get some well deserved attention!!!!

[Guest DoofBert]

After Sir D left.... it helped me to reach out to him through our pet communicator. He said he'd let me know when he's around....just to open my heart and I'd feel him. Sure enough... I do to this day.

 

And, he said he'd send us another hound when the time was right... sure enough, July of 08, Bacchus came to us... another big black hunk of hound boy.

[crazygang]

Sorry for your loss and that you're hurting.........

Walking greyhounds at the adoption kennels helped distract us from dwelling too much on how empty my husband and I felt.

Adopting Snowy was the BEST tonic

Alternatively short term fostering might help you until you move home permanently???????

[Guest Energy11]

I know this isn't the answer you are looking for, but for me, THE DAY after Energy died, I adopted Curfew! Energy found him for me, and he needed me. Then, came the others. THAT is how I healed. But, I will never totally heal, not totally. You will find your way,... take each day, one at a time. Sending you LOVE! Dee

[Guest KennelMom]

Heal? Well, I take the perspective that none of us live forever. And I know that our dogs life an awesome life with us. Most of those we've had to say goodbye to have lived wonderful, full lives to ripe old ages. The initial hurt fades with time, but it's easier to move on to happy memories because I know that there was nothing sad about their lives here with us. I miss them, but it's not a sad feeling. I wish they were here, but I also cherish the hounds that my Bridge kids paved the way for.

 

This last year we lost very young dogs - Harmony at 6, suddenly and from an incurable illness. I haven't even begun to start healing from that. I can't even barely think about it without breaking down. It's just so unfair that she died so young. I watched her fight for her life for a week. Bodhi we lost at three. He had only a week off the track. I'm so sad for him that he didn't get to really know how awesome life is as a pet...my only consolation there is that I know he was in a good racing kennel. The two puppies...my God. I really do not think there is anything sadder than holding a puppy body in your hand....well, the only thing sadder is to have two puppies that pass away at a week old.

 

I don't know how I will overcome the losses from 2009. I still haven't written a Rememberance thread for Harmony. I just can't do it yet.

[robinw]

I guess volunteering in a kennel would help. Like others, I haven't yet healed from Loca's death, nor have I been able to bring myself to write a proper memorial.

 

I hope you find something that helps you

[Guest lynne893]

Thank you everyone, so much. I've spent some time helping at LA County animal shelters (not a lot!), and will connect with a sorta-local grey group after the holidays.

 

Hugs right back to you. Aside from a new grey, this network of support is the answer, I think.

 

Thank you for your kind advice.

 

Blessings and good energy to you all, to your hounds and to our loved ones at the Rainbow Bridge.

 

Until we're back from Christmas in Chicago...

 

Happy holidays,

Lynne

[kelseysmom]

[quote name='lynne893' date='19 December 2009 - 10:29 PI

 

 

 

I'm so sorry that you are going through this incredibly sad time. We just lost Kelsey 12 days ago so my pain is still so raw. I'm in the same boat that you're in and won't be able to afford to adopt another grey for a while. What is helping me at this time is having our sweet kitties at home to care for and cuddle. Would it be possible for you to adopt a kitten at this time?

 

Hugs to you and keep in mind that time will go by so quickly and you'll have another grey in your new home before you know it!

Edited December 23, 2009 by kelseysmom

[Guest greytbookert]

I know I haven't healed yet from 2009... too much, too close together. I was able to heal with Booker and Mama Ro's passing with time. However, this year, I barely got over Annie's death before Sahra left, then Bean(kitty)and T the next day. I know with time, the pain will lessen and I'll accept my losses but it is going to be a very long time. I try to reason with myself that they all had good lives with us but that doesn't make the hole in heart any smaller, at least not yet.

 

I know I'm not my normal self. I'm typically a very rational person but lately I walk around in a bit of a daze. Today, I went to eat a banana and cried like a baby. I used to share my morning banana with T and it sucks that he isn't here with me anymore. I haven't tried having a yogurt yet because, I just can't....

 

Many hugs to you, too many of us are experiencing the grieving process and know that you can come here for support.

[greypuppyluv]

Thank you everyone, so much. I've spent some time helping at LA County animal shelters (not a lot!), and will connect with a sorta-local grey group after the holidays.

 

Hugs right back to you. Aside from a new grey, this network of support is the answer, I think.

 

Thank you for your kind advice.

 

Blessings and good energy to you all, to your hounds and to our loved ones at the Rainbow Bridge.

 

Until we're back from Christmas in Chicago...

 

Happy holidays,

Lynne

 

If you are back by January 2nd, a friend and I will probably be going down to GAC's kennel and you are welcome to join us (if you can handle my driving ). I'm sure the kennel dogs would love to have another person around to love on them.

[Guest IGmom4now]

Hi friends,

I am missing our sweet greyhound, Timber, so much. She passed away a little more than 3 months ago now, and I feel like I'm not lifting out of depression.

 

She was our only dog. We live in a 1-bedroom apartment, and are currently trying to buy a home. DH promises that we can adopt two greyhounds once we own a home. For now we're saving our money, and he wants to wait until we're settled into our new place and affording the mortgage ok before we bring a dog or dogs into our lives again.

 

Truthfully, I think he's a bit relieved to not have the expense and responsibilities of dog ownership for a while, and deep in my heart I feel like that's the reason he's making me wait.

 

I know he has a point about affording a new mortgage, I get it, but I so sorely miss Timber and want the presence of a dog back in my life.

 

What did you do to heal from the loss of your dog? What kinds of hobbies, activities, etc. helped you? Short of adopting a new dog....

 

Thank you.

 

For me, nothing helped until another dog (hound) entered my world. Once I had a new dog being, everything was okay. I missed the former one, but my heart was happy. Maybe set a time limit, like 3 more months, then look into who's out there? Like just start looking in 3 months? Maybe if your waiting period is finite, it will be easier to manage..