Quality Of Life...*original Post Is From 2008*

[Guest KennelMom]

*****************update*************

We ended up having to say goodbye to Grandpa in December 2008. The day before my birthday and only three months after this thread. It was a quality of life decision. We said goodbye to Elvis only a month after this post - he had cancer.

 

************original post***************

DH and I have had to make the decision to euthanize one of our pets 5 times. Casino had osteo that was inoperable. The others were all 'quality of life' decisions. They were really old and their bodies and mind just couldn't function anymore to give them an acceptable quality of life. Annie and Erin were just weeks shy of 15. Star was 14. Caesar was just shy of 14.

 

While the decision to say goodbye is never easy, I have to say that there was a lot less guilt in making the decision for Casino. She had a definite illness that would not ever get any better, couldn't be fixed and caused a great deal of pain. The others...gosh...there's no getting around the feeling that I killed my dog. Even though my MIND knows we made the right decision for the dog, my heart doesn't always agree.

 

What's the point of this thread? I don't know. I guess so I don't feel so alone. We're going to the vet on Friday with Grandpa...I'm not really sure why. I'm hoping they can help. He seems to be losing his mind. He stands and barks for no reason and at nothing. If I let him, he'll bark and bark until he's choking and can't breathe (he's got laryngeal paralysis). He doesn't seem scared, he's just barking. If you call his name sometimes he looks at you, sometimes he looks in a completely opposite direction seemingly at something. If you call his name again, he'll walk towards whatever it is he's looking at, but it's not us. He's become pretty restless....goes through fits of getting up and down a lot and can't seem to get comfortable or be satisfied with any bed. Nothing seems to make him happy. These are some pretty big changes for him as he's always been the most chilled out, relaxed dog I've ever known (he's been known to roach on the exam room floor at the vet's office).

 

But, he goes out at every turn out. Loves to run if we let him (not in this heat with his breathing problems). Eats great. Loves ear scritchies. He's not ready to go anywhere in the near future, but I just feel like this barking is the first sign on a road I'm not ready to go down. He's probably going to deteriorate to a point where we have to make a decision. I hate that. I really really really hate that.

 

He doesn't really have any of the classic symptoms of canine cognitive dysfunction so I'm not sure anipryl will be an option...I guess we'll see what the vet says.

 

Sigh. Why do they have to get old I know many people dread a limp for obvious reasons. Me, I dread their 14th birthday. We've never had a dog make it to 15

Edited September 19, 2009 by KennelMom

[Burpdog]

I've talked to two bishops regarding sending the dogs off, because bottom line is you are killing them. I've been assured it's ok to help them along when they are suffering. Does it make me feel better? No. I'm still killing them.

 

And no, to those who throw out the phrase "you are giving them the greatest gift" -- please don't tell me to tell that to the dog who wants to live, but cannot. It is not a gift to them. It is ending their life. Yes, they will be fine, yes they are in Rainbow Land, but it does not make the act any easier, it's not a gift, it's not a good thing to do, it's not an easy thing to do. It is however, what we have to do.

 

I'm a little sensitive right now, too, because sweet Tootsie is on the down side. It won't be too much longer. She's not ready today, and I'll do whatever I can to support her living. I can cry buckets right now just thinking about sending her off.

 

When I got my first purebred dog, a Great Dane, I found out when she was two that her litter brother had I think it was lymphoma and had to be put down. I cried and asked why? Didn't seem fair. The breeder said something I have not forgotten in 38 years: you take the bad with the good--you can't just have the good.

 

So that it is the way it is: if you want the wonderful friend and companion, the laughs and the cuddles, and all the good, you have to put up with "that" day.

 

I know how you feel

[greysandmollie]

I have only had to make that decision twice. Once with Rascal who was 12 1/2 and had lymphoma but we did chemo and bought time. He had FCE years before that and his legs were weak. When I made the decision it was for two reasons, one he couldn't get up and two he looked too darned tired to go on. He was my first dog and for a million reasons I was devastated. But I knew he was ready.

 

When Bounty got sick last year at 8 and was stuggling to breathe only days after we figured out the cancer and was euthanized a couple days later I had never felt pain and guilt like that. He didn't know he was sick and the look on his face that day is etched in my mind. I definately felt like I killed my dog. Nothing will ever get that out of my head as much as I try. It was an illness that there was no way to rebound for it for him but I have never felt worse about anything in my life.

 

My point...there isn't one...sucks no matter what....

[grey14me]

Oh Heather, I'm so sorry I don't imagine there's anything anyone can say that will make the decision not hurt. One thing I remember reading here is 'better a day early, than a day late'. I remember a friend of mine telling me about someone she knew who kept her elderly, blind, deaf dog, who had severe anxiety issues alive because she 'just couldn't do that'...the dog was just a mess, and I told myself I would never let someone I loved live like that, just to be able to say he/she was still alive...she said it was heartbreaking just to see that poor dog.

[ZoomDoggy]

I couldn't have said it better, Diane.

 

The pain and grief is wrapped in the same package that brought you all the love and joy.

[greysmom]

Yeah, it's really hard, whether it's a good thing or not. It might not be a priviledge but it is a responsibility that we must bear.

 

We take a wild animal, breed and mold it to be exactly what we want and need it to be. We take it into our lives to (hopefully) make both of them richer and better. We have amazing relationships with these companions we've made. We feed them, and house them, and pamper them, and train them, and have fun with them, and breed more of them. We make all the decisions in their lives and the last and most humane decision is when to let them go.

 

It isn't - and shouldn't - be easy, no matter what the circumstances.

 

greysmom

[TheFullHouse]

Perfect timing for this thread Heather. Making the decision to let Emmy go was the hardest thing I've ever had to do and I basically had to make the decision on my own. The hardest thing for us was that Mike and I didn't agree on when it was time for Emmy. I wanted to let her go about 3 weeks ago but Mike couldn't do it. I was watching her waste away and go down hill so fast and he wanted to give the meds a second chance. When she started seizing last Wednesday I knew it was time, she was suffering so and I made Mike promise not to let them treat her, to let her go. Do I feel guilty, heck yes I do, something awful. I just had a gut feeling that Emmy was not going to get better and I should have listened to my gut but I didn't. It won't happen again. Though I feel like I was "playing god" to a certain extent, I don't ever want to see one of my hounds suffer like that again.

[ShantisMom]

Well, as we come up on the 2 year anniversary of Kona's departure I can say you are not alone in your thinking. I chose the shot for her, not her. Was it the right thing, yep. But it does not ever get rid of the fact that I killed my dog. She was 14. She lost use of both back legs. I could have waited it out, but it was not good. It haunts me to this day.

 

I am sorry you feel that way too Heather. I am also sorry you have to take Grandpa in. I will pray they vets can do something for him to make it better.

[Guest KennelMom]

Thank you so much everyone. I want to quote each of you and say thanks because you have all said something that touches my heart. I knew y'all would understand.

 

Diane - my prayers are with you and Tootsie

[Guest suzq]

Unfortunately, I understand all of this and it sucks! I'm sorry for all of us.

 

Susan

[Guest lauri]

In the world of wild animals an old animal that is losing function, even if it's only because of old age and not an illness or injury, would be a prime target for a prey animal. Sick, injured, young and old.

 

If you feel an animal's quality of life is all but gone then as hard as it may, be euthanizing would be taking the place of them becoming food (in a wild animal's life) which would be that much more horrible for the animal.

 

This probably doesn't make you feel any better, BUT It means you are not necessarily making a wrong decision. It's nature's course.

 

Mike and I have discussed this many times and even if our pup got osteo or some other FATAL cancer, we'd opt for palliative care only - no removing parts or chemos (I know how this goes and I wouldn't put my pet through it). For us it's a very hard decision, but also NOT a wrong or bad one.

 

You and your husband do so much for hounds that need homes and that's what's REALLY admirable! To take in so many and give them hugs and scritches.

Edited September 4, 2008 by lauri

[patricia]

It's hard...it is so hard...and now I am crying for my Angels. Know that my heart is with you.

[Guest sheila]

I knew it was getting time for Kiowa when he couldn't go up/down steps by himself. When he couldn't lay down or get back up w/o assistance I tried to deny it. When I found him laying in a pile of his own feces I had to admit that that his situation had gone beyond what I could care for. I live alone and work full time and I just could not let him exist like that.

He could have been OK for another month or so with 24 hr care but such a thing doesn't exist in my area and even if it did I couldn't afford it.

I feel so guilty because it seems like I killed him because he was becoming inconvenient. I know in my head that I did the right thing, but DAMN IT I miss him......

 

This is one of the last pics I have of him

 

[Guest lauri]

Sheila, you gave Kiowa an awesome home...he'll always remember that!

[RhodyGreys]

You know, I was going to post something just like this earlier today. I am going through the same thing (well, not quite the same, but the same basic issue) with Geordie, my beloved King of Greytalk. The move took so much out of him. He has never been plump, but he has clearly lost weight, and despite high-dose glucosamine & MSM, he seems to be wasting away. His teeth are atrocious, but he has a significant heart murmur, and at his age (14) it is a catch 22 as to whether I take the risk to anesthetize him or take the risk of his teeth being bad. Right now we're trying antibiotic pulse therapy with him (1 week on, 2 weeks off) but he won't eat anything "extra" this week, other than hard treats, so I can't start the next cycle of antibiotics.

 

Just over a month ago, right after the move, I posted about his birthday, thrilled that he was in such good shape. He had a real major setback this week when the fat balls I made to put some weight on him (and Ringo, who at 11 just seems to have gotten "old dog skinny" after the move) made him sick to his stomach. He refused a meal for the first time in years.

 

Now, when he walks, it's almost like he's stumbling (drunk?) a little. He turns up his nose at many tasty morsels (even cheese!). He's not depressed and can still get up, but I feel like I am seeing a concentration camp victim. I will have the vet run a blood panel, as I am highly suspicious of some kidney disease. I also can't tell whether he might be limping just a little on one back leg. He just moves so slowly, plodding almost. Two weeks ago he ran in the yard. Now he's just slow.

 

He's back to eating just fine, but it seems to me he's just going through the motions. He's not incontinent, he gets up, he eats. But I don't see much joy. It breaks my heart. Know that I am thinking of all of you going through the same thing... and please hope that I have the wisdom to know when it's one day too soon. I don't want to wait until one day too late, but I don't want to send an old dog who is not sick to the Bridge.

[Guest RocketDog]

I haven't had to put down any dogs yet, but my fiance and I have already agreed that quality of life is the single most important factor in choosing when to let them go. If they aren't able to live life to the fullest, I won't let them suffer for my selfishness. I would gladly take the grief of saying goodbye a little too early than the grief of knowing I let them suffer longer than they had to...

[4greyhounds]

It was the hardest decision I had to make in my life with Champ, they were telling me that he was bleeding internally I begged was their anything you can do they told me that their was not even if they gave him blood. I had to call Mr. Wolf with PNGA. I ask him to please speak to the vet he did, and he told me we had to let Champ go but that was the hardest thing I had to do in my life. To me it was killing Champ and I would have paid any amount of money to save him, but their was no money amount that could save him. I am so sorry you are having to make this decisoion and my thoughts and prayers are with you,

[Batmom]

{{{{{{{{{{Heather}}}}}}}}}

 

Diane, I didn't know Tootsie was poorly. I'm sorry.

 

We are close to facing this issue with our elderly whippet. How close? Nobody knows. A day, a month, a year ... We just don't know.

 

"Good" and "gift" are odd words to try to apply to such a situation. Sometimes, they sound accurate, and other times they clash with the sorrow and helplessness we feel, and with the belief that "Thou shalt not kill."

 

"Right" is perhaps a more fitting word. To me, it isn't right to allow an animal to suffer, without hope of ease, when we have it in our power to stop their suffering. I made a promise to each of my dogs that I would not allow them to suffer. I have kept that promise and mean to continue keeping it.

 

Suffering doesn't mean only physical pain. Confusion and fear are types of suffering, too. I would not want those things to overpower any pleasure a dog could have in life.

[Guest BigPercyInMa]

We had to go through an option #1 with Jackson and a cat I used to have, option #2 with a cat we had Each time was awful

[Guest kellybrown]

I had to put my first greyhound down 9 years ago. She had bone cancer. That was the first time I ever had to make that decision. It almost killed me.

Then I had to put my second greyhound down almost 2 years ago, she was in kidney failure. As hard as that decision was, I knew I was doing the right thing.

 

I always think of something my husband told me, animals aren't afraid of death. I really never thought about that, but he is right. They don't know what death is and aren't afraid. I don't know if that will help you, but it did help me with the guilt of the hardest decisions I ever made.

[Guest HeatherDemps]

It's been a week tonight that I had to make this decision for Dempsey for physical reasons. It's still eating at me and I know on a logical level that I did the best thing for him, but on an emotional level, I feel that I killed my dog. It doesn't matter what you "know" and what others tell you..... with today being the one week marker, it's been particularly tough. I would never trade those 9.5 years with Dempsey, but gosh, it sure does suck when it starts coming close to these decisions.... you're not alone....

[ShantisMom]

I keep coming back and reading all this. I miss Kona. I am haunted by a lot of her passing. I kept her a day too long in hopes of a miracle. It was a AWFUL 24 hours for all of us. There were several times I thought she left us on her own. Sickly I was hoping it. I knew we could not continue like this. Kona HATED the vets!!! She would panic each time. But with all that awful stuff the last trip was strangely peaceful. She was not shaking, did not seem scared for once. It was like she knew? She left us so fast. I like to think she was thankful. She sent me the exact sign I asked for the next day. I asked her to forgive me and do something with her white bear that she took from me. I came home from the vets and cleaned up everything. Again, it was a bad night. Then I climbed back in bed (my parents had my boys). The next day I had to go to a family picnic. When I came home the bear was on the floor where we spent our last night together. I am thankful for that. But man I miss her everyday.

[CaliforniaGreys]

No matter what the circumstances, it's the worst experience in this world.And I think no matter how much we know it's a selfless thing and we do it to ease their pain, and do it out of the love we have for them, that guilt will always creep up.I've had to make this decision a few times, and each time it totally ripped my heart out. The only thing that keeps me sane is that I would rather it be me to stay and suffer their loss, rather than it be them.

[Guest PeteysMom]

I think that it is one of the toughest things that one can ever decide. Each situation is different. None of us wants to see our hounds suffering, but then again, none of us can tell each other when it's time. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.

[fourofem]

Whatever the reason, it's heart wrenching. I've had to have two dogs and one cat put down. Two of them, I know it was the right thing to do....the third still haunts me. Even so, it's not as hard as losing an animal to an accident. The first dog I adopted once I was out on my own, was killled by a car when I left him with my parents while I was out of town for a conference. The second, the absolute love of my life to this day, another SPCA adoptee, who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time....a totally freak accident. When they are ripped away from you like that, I think it's much harder to recover. When you decide to do what's best, it's still very, very sad but you are better prepared. Either way, these animals of ours take a piece of our heart when they leave.

 

I read something Dave Matthews said at a recent concert after the death of his saxophone player...."it's easier to leave than to be left." Isn't that the truth?