arandomchic -- your idea of giving Molly a wait command in these situations reminds me of good advice I received when a new greyhound of mine went ballistic whenever he saw a non-greyhound male dog -- "If you don't like what your dog is doing, give him something else to do." We ended up practising sit-stays the instant I saw another dog on our walks, and it worked well.
kudzu, I find categorizing a quick scruff shake, a squirt of liquid, and a rattle of pennies in a soup can as "roughing them up physically and psychologically" or "confrontation, intimidation and strong arm tactics" as extreme exaggeration. I expect we have a basic difference of philosophy on dog/human interaction.