Agnes, my Chihuahua

[Randyjohnson]

On July 11, 2020 my Applehead Chihuahua dog passed away. Her name was Agnes. She was nine years old. I found her dead about 10:00 PM. I was about to go to bed but immediately knew there was no need to go to bed. When I found her dead in the kitchen, I knew that I wouldn't be able to get any sleep so I stayed up most of the night.

I adopted Agnes on August 27, 2013. My ex-friend and I were out looking for me a Chihuahua dog. As she put gas in her Durango, I made a decision. I decided that if the dog I found was a female, I would name it after my late mother. My ex-friend and I went to a woman's house who runs her own rescue service. She only had one Chihuahua and it was a female.

I eventually bought two more Chihuahua dogs. Both dogs are hyper so I keep them in my basement. It wasn't until I bought those dogs that I truly appreciated what a great dog Agnes was. She was one of the sweetest dogs around and she wasn't one bit hyper. After getting my two new dogs, I learned how special Agnes was. Agnes was a bit on the hateful side when I adopted her but she soon grew out of it. When I took Agnes to a vet in 2017, I learned that she had a heart murmur.

Because of a mental disorder, I hear voices from time to time. As an ice cream truck drove through the subdivision where I live, I heard a voice. The voice told me to buy an ice cream and eat it while standing over Agnes's grave. I did so but it tore me up pretty bad. Yes, I hear voices sometimes but don't worry. The voices don't tell me to hurt people. I have a mental disorder but I'm not a psycho.

When I adopted Agnes, I got the Holy Grail of dogs. As far as I'm concerned, she was the best dog on the planet. She loved me and the feeling was mutual. Some friends invited me to stay overnight at their homes a few times. When I would come home after being gone all night, Agnes would start hopping around and yelping because she was happy to see me.

I usually sleep on my couch and she slept on the couch with me. I decided to sleep in one of the bedrooms. Agnes was in the living room and she started howling at 3:00 AM. She was unhappy because she couldn't spend the night with her Daddy. After her howling woke me up, I got her and let her sleep in the bed with me the rest of the night.

I have no wife or kids and Agnes was the closest thing I had to a daughter. Her death has broken my heart and I'm going to miss her. She was my baby doll and I owned her for almost seven glorious years. I thanked the good Lord for letting me have her. I was a lucky man.

[kolarik1]

Agnes was adorable, so sorry for your loss.  Sending hugs.

[racindog]

My deepest sympathy. Perhaps she will send you a sign that she is OK -safely at the bridge. Only her body died. The Agnes that you loved, and that loves you, is spirit and is O.K. Whats more don't forget love is energy like EVERYTHING else.  That is science not wishful thinking. As such it cannot be created.....or destroyed-not even by death. I hope this brings you some comfort.

Until we meet again..
You say that all you have left are memories but this is not so.
You see, when I took leave of my earthly body I left a little something behind for you.
You can't touch it, hold it or examine it, for what I left behind is far too uninhibited for confinement.
I left in your tender care a piece of my soul.
I placed it right next to your own which is quite fitting as we were always side by side in our earthly life together.
I love you too much to have left you with nothing but memories that tend to fade and grow cloudy as the years go by.
I love you too much to have vanished without a trace. How selfish it would be of me to remove love and light from your life.
I understand your tears, each one you shed is testament to your love for me and I am honored and humbled.
But don't forget the good things we shared - remember and smile. This is an honor for me as well.
When you need me I will be here.
Close your eyes, relax, take slow, deep breaths and picture me in your mind.
Shut off the world and your notions of what you think death is and give me a chance.
Look for the subtle signs I send you.
Don't stop being proud of me, I am a friend to be proud of, I am still your friend and soul mate.
Don't memorialize the death of my body but instead honor and celebrate my never-ending life for it is eternal
and forever as is my love for you.
Until we meet again...
(Only part of a very long heart felt poem by Terri Oronato)

************************************************************************************************************************

"For love is as strong as death....
Many waters cannot quench love, nor can the floods drown it.
If a man would give for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly despised."
-Song of Solomon 8:6-7

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."
"What we have enjoyed we can never lose…All that we love deeply becomes a part of us."-Helen Keller

[Beachbum1]

So very sorry for your loss

[JaimeL]

I am so very sorry for your loss of Agnes. She is a truely special girl. Rest well Agnes.

[RaineysMom]

I'm so sorry

[macoduck]

I will add Agnes' name to the list of Bridge Angels here on Greytalk. She will be in good company.