Timber Pooping Blood, Me Crying- Update Post 1

[Guest lynne893]

I can hardly type I'm crying so hard. Timber has had a setback the past several days, starting with a big green vomit on Friday. My husband was home when she vomited, not me, so I wasn't witness to it, but I could tell the night prior that her tummy was bothering her.

 

She's had diarrhea all weekend, so we're back on chicken and rice, but honestly, she never does great on chicken and rice. She loves it, but it's never been the cure-all to firm up her poops. I put her back on carafate and pepcid today, since I've seen people report on here that Prednisone is hard on the stomach. (Though her poops since she STARTED the Pred. on 8/19 have been better than they've been since before all this started in April... until this weekend.)

 

Just now, she had a little squirt of diarrhea and when I cleaned her tail off (she drags her tail through it), it was not just darkish or orangish reddish brownish. It was red liquid on the paper towel. It was blood, no doubt.

 

So she's pooping bright red blood. Not a ton, but enough that I know it's 99% not from a burst hemmoroid or something.

 

I know we don't have that much time with her, since on 8/17 her prognosis without chemo was ~1 mo. But I'm scared and sad and of course not ready.

 

I just don't know if this is a "sign" that means it's her cancer bleeding in her intestines/stomach, or if it's a little ulcer from the Prednisone, or what. I don't want to take her to the vet or e-vet if we don't absolutely have to. She HATES those trips and I thought part of this last month meant that "keeping her comfortable" would mean no more things she hates, such as the carafate, the vet, etc. We've been trying to spoil her.

 

Obviously I will call her vet first thing in the morning. She's not in distress. Her gums this afternoon were VERY pale, but again, I don't want to pull "extraordinary measures" -- I'm desperately hoping she will pass quietly on her own, or we will "know" when the time is right and call the vet here to help.

 

Please give advice if you have any. I can't stop crying. Thank you.

 

September 14, 2009, 8:40pm

 

We were referred to an incredibly compassionate home care vet, Dr. Janet (JJ) Rawlinson, who consulted with me by phone very patiently and came over to help us send Timber to the bridge last night at about 8:40. I'm still pretty hysterical and not in a good place yet, but will definitely post in remembrance soon. My heart is gone.

 

Thank you, all, for everything.

 

Love to you and your hounds.

Edited September 15, 2009 by lynne893

[o_rooly]

 

I don't have any advice, unfortunately, but I will send my best thoughts and white light your way tonight. Timber is so, so lucky to have a momma who loves her so much.

 

There aren't emoticons to express how much I wish there were more I could do, or that our sweet greys didn't have to deal with this monster.

[Guest lynne893]

UPDATE: Timber just woke me up with crying (light crying, not GSOD) and stretching because her tummy was upset. Went out, more diarrhea, which isn't really even mostly poop anymore, it's blood. Bright, thick, dark red blood. Not little streaks. Thick.

 

Not a ton, but probably a couple to a few tablespoons worth.

 

After I posted last night, DH and I spoke, and he's waiting for a very obvious "sign" that it's time, such as, she won't perk up for food or when we come in, but I see the return of her vomiting, diarrhea, and now, pure blood in her stool, as a sign. I'm very torn. He thinks she's going to overcome this bout. I'm afraid that the cancer -or the pred.- has given her intestinal bleeding and that she's not digesting food anymore.

 

She had 3 GREAT weeks on the Pred. Her poop went from 4+ months of awful and NEVER normal, to PERFECTLY normal in those three weeks. We had her back on her regular food and it was eerie. But now, it's clear to me something in her intestines/tummy has changed, and it's not a little "bout" to get over. You don't just start pooping bright, thick blood because you ate 3 marshmallows, you know?

 

Thank you, always, for listening. I'll keep you posted. Advice is appreciated.

[Guest jerrybird]

I'm sorry that I can't give you any advice---only my best wishes and thoughts for you and Timber. Can you get a vet appt. this morning?

[Batmom]

Sending hugs and prayers.

[Guest mike]

unfortunately, not all dogs give a sign that we can understand or know. however, this is a sign she is not feeling well. please do what is right for Timber. Yes, it is incredibly hard for you both but part of love is loving them enough to send them on their journey. I see this all the time in my clinic. People don't want to let their animals go on because they are scared. But remember this a day early is better than a day late. I've never had any one come back and say I let them go to soon. It's usually they waited to long and then they live with that burden. My sympathy to you.

[45MPHK9]

hugs and prayers for you and timber.

[Guest koolaidnconner]

Hugs and prayers for everyone

[Guest MorganKonaAlex]

I'm so sorry to hear about Timber. My DH and I don't agree on end of life decisions. I think he waits too long. It can cause a lot of tension. The Vet should help guide when the time is right. I wish I had some magic words to help, but I don't.

[TheFullHouse]

I'm so sorry. I know how hard this is and I also know how hard it is when you and your husband aren't on the same page. I've been there. My heart goes out to you both.

[patricia]

Sending my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry. I know the feeling of pain and just plain helplessness so well. Praying this is just a setback. Please kiss Timber for me.

[Guest Energy11]

As Mike said, " A day early is better, than a day late". When we had Dasher, he started with GI symptoms on A Sat., but Sunday, he was pooing pure red/tary blood, white gums, cold feet. (Shock). He could hardly stand up, so we sent him to The Bridge on Sunday. We had rescued him from a lady who wanted to "put him down, because he wouldn't stay off her her furniture ...", and had eight great months wiht him.

 

I feel for you and your Timber. Knowing when the "right" time is, is never, ever easy. Lots of love, hugs and prayers for you from us.

[Guest agroshong]

Keeping Timber and your family close in my thoughts, today.

[dante2zoe]

Gentle thoughts coming your way from Maryland.

[tra708]

we went through pretty much the same thing in May, with Abby. i concur with the "better a day early..." opinion. as sad as i was, i felt thankful afterwards for no guilt about waiting too long. your vet will be able to help. thoughts are with you today.

[grey14me]

 

I know how hard it is to have to make this decision.

 

Please, just try to think about your sweet Timber. I can't see how she will get past this episode without some help from the vet. If she's crying, then she's in pain.

[CaliforniaGreys]

Many prayers coming for both of you.

[sweetdogs]

First

 

Second, talk to your vet so you know what you're dealing with. Maybe it's the meds, maybe it's a bug, maybe it's her time but you need that information to go forward.

 

Third, having to make that decision, that phone call, that ride is always so hard. But we never want our dear friends to suffer & that's where we get our strength from. We're all thinking of you & Timber.

[Guest TheUnrulyHound]

 

I know how hard it is to make the decision.... sometimes their bodies have just had enough I will be thinking of you and Timber today Please keep us updated

[Guest MAXNAV]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I went through it with my collie. Just look into her eyes and you'll know. We're thinking of you all.

[maryz]

My thoughts are with you and Timber today. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. It is never an easy decision

to make.

[greyhndz]

Most importantly, enormous 's coming your way.

 

One month ago, I was exactly in your position (except for the husband part) with iggy Lexi. Like Timber, going to the vet or being hospitalized made her miserable. She just wouldn't tolerate even being handled, and had to endure repeated IVs and confinement. So, for Lexi's sake, I stopped all of it. As with Timber, all that mattered was Lexi's comfort, happiness and dignity, even though I knew it meant that her time was near.

 

First, please don't ever doubt yourself as far as your decisions. You did the right thing for your girl, because you know her, love her, and did what you know she would have chosen if she could speak.

 

Second, would your vet consider making a house call to spare all of you the stress of having to bring her in?

 

And finally, very often your vet (especially if she or he knows Timber well) will have insight that comes from an objective observer. My vet shared with me that she knew Lexi was failing when she was in hospital, because she "stopped fighting". She just had a look that told Fiona she was tired and didn't want to do it anymore. It was painful to hear, but I was too close to Lexi to see. So, like you, I brought her home and crammed as much spoiling and loving as I could into a very short period of time.

 

Please trust your heart. She may not yet have the signs that you're looking for, but wouldn't it be wonderful if you and your husband could give her peace before those signs occur?

 

My heart breaks for you because I'm still in that place and understand so well what you're feeling. I hope your husband can come to terms with his own grief, and join you in doing what you know Timber would want you to do.

 

[Guest lynne893]

Thank you, everyone.

 

"She may not yet have the signs that you're looking for, but wouldn't it be wonderful if you and your husband could give her peace before those signs occur?"

 

Jordan, I whole-heartedly agree with you and Mike and everyone with the "one day too early rather than a day too late" philosophy. DH has never been through ugly, painful illness, but my dad died from non-hodgkins lymphoma 10 years ago, and I remember his awful suffering. I don't want to see Timber get to that point where she's totally fallen apart.

 

She had diarrhea with blood at 11:30pm, 4:30am, 6:00am, and now at 7:30am it's pretty much just itty bitty squirts, but she threw about 2 cups worth of vomit on our walk (just around the block), bright yellow color, with rice (from the chicken and rice we've been feeding her)- like the consistency of chili.

 

For most of the walk she had decent energy, her tail and ears came up when she saw another dog, etc., but she started to try to eat grass then slowed dramatically after she threw up. I feel like she's fighting hard, but her little body is failing her. I need to call the vet now, and need to talk to DH when he gets up....

 

thank you again for your compassion. I know you've been there....

 

p.s. I was able to jump real quick and add this P.S., but haven't been successful at figuring out how to "update" my posts with an edit function longer after the fact. If anyone has advice on that-- that's appreciated, too.

Edited September 14, 2009 by lynne893

[carronstar]

You and Timber are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Batmom]

{{{{{{{{{{lynne893}}}}}}}}}}

 

If it helps any, one way or the next, the day I let Batman go, he was happy to have a breakfast of fudge stripe cookies and ice cream, and he walked into the vet under his own steam, wagging his tail and mugging for pets.