Guest snaphappy Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Suenos passed away from a thrown clot on March 3 (you can read her tribute here: http://forum.greytalk.com/index.php?showtopic=225160 ). When we sent her for cremation we were told it would take 2wks. Then we asked a couple of times where she was and were told that she wasn't back yet. Well, today someone from our group finally got the straight story. They lost her. There's no record; they have no idea what happened. But she won't be coming home. I've been waiting and needing her home, and now she won't be coming. I am consumed with thoughts of what could've happened to her, and they aren't good. I feel like I have failed her. I failed in keeping her healthy in life, and now I've failed her again. My poor, sweet, precious, mommy girl. Suenos, please forgive me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ullaluv Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 You haven't failed her! Shame on the crematorium, but remember that her ashes are only her bodily remains. Her soul, which is what she loved you with, is waiting gor you at the rainbow bridge. Again, you did not fail your girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShantisMom Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 You have NOT failed her! I am so sorry they lost her remains. But she will be waiting for you when it is time to reunite. We did not privately cremate Kona. DH did not want that and he was his dog first. It is a decision I regret, but understand. He thought she would think we are nuts to do it. And she probably would have. Having the ashes or not does not change the love you had for your baby. They know that! Quote The Girls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest myjazzy Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 When I lost my Darla, she was at the e-vet. I had left her for the night and they called me and told me she had passed away. I went back to say good-bye and spend some time with her. Somehow, there was a miscommunication. I thought I had made the arrangements to have her cremated. Then I had to go away. When I came back, I realized that the message had not gotten where it should have and she was gone. I understand how you feel because it is a horrible feeling. I'm crying as I type this. The only way I was able to deal with this was to have a portrait of Darla made. I don't have her ashes, but I have a beautiful portrait of my baby. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. I don't know if what I did to try to make up for what happened will help you. Maybe you can find a way to have something tangible that will remind you of her. Others may have some suggestions. :grouphug Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinM Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 You did not fail her. She IS with you. She is living in your heart. You couldn't be more closer. Talk to her, she is living inside your heart. Quote ROBIN ~ Mom to: Beau Think It Aint, Chloe JC Allthewayhome, Teddy ICU Drunk Sailor, Elsie N Fracine , Ollie RG's Travertine, Ponch A's Jupiter~ Yoshi, Zoobie & Belle, the kitties. Waiting at the bridge Angel Polli Bohemian Ocean , Rocky, Blue,Sasha & Zoobie & Bobbi Greyhound Angels Adoption (GAA) The Lexus Project Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grey14me Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 That's terrible, I'm so sorry Quote Michelle...forever missing her girls, Holly 5/22/99-9/13/10 and Bailey 8/1/93-7/11/05 Religion is the smile on a dog...Edie Brickell Wag more, bark less :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gotgr8hnds Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry that your sweet girl's ashes were lost. . . I would be upset, too! Please don't think that you failed her in any way - because you didn't. This was something that you had absolutely no control over. Just try to remember that Suenos is in a special place in your heart and you'll never lose her there. Your special love for her and your special memories of her are safe there and will always be with you. She will live on in you. Maybe, at a later time when you feel up to it, you can make a special place for her in your home - with things like photos, poems, her collar, a favorite toy......or in your garden - with some beautiful flowers and perhaps some wind chimes ~ the beautiful melody could remind you of her. I send you gentle hugs. . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest CDNgreys Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 What an awful thing to add to your grief. I'm so sorry. Maybe you can take your reimbursement from the cremation and have a lovely memorial made....something that means something to you. My DH would like to add that YOU did not fail your girl. The creamatorium did and they failed you. The body is merely a vessel for the spirit and her spirit now lives in you and anything that reminds you of her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fatesrelease Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 That is the most horrible thing I've ever heard. I am so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carronstar Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 You did not fail her. She IS with you. She is living in your heart. You couldn't be more closer. Talk to her, she is living inside your heart. Every word is true. You did not fail your girl. I am so very sorry this has happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KF_in_Georgia Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 I'm so sorry this has happened. When you lose your baby, it's so hard. When you lose something more, it's like the last straw. When Oreo died (3 years ago today--from a blood clot in surgery, too), the crematorium handled things properly. But I wanted Oreo's tag collar--with her adoption group tags and her rabies tag (I'd kept all her earlier tags)--and between the e-vet and the surgical practice, her collar had disappeared. They never found it, and I still wish I could have it back. (When my current klutz landed in the same ER last summer, I made them look through their lost and found for Oreo's collar again.) You did what you could for Suenos from the very beginning. You loved her, worried and fretted for her. The things that went wrong were not your fault, and you never failed your girl. And she died knowing she was very much loved, which may be the most important thing you did for her. You'll find the right memorial for her, but I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. Quote Kathy and Q (CRT Qadeer from Fuzzy's Cannon and CRT Bonnie) and Jane (WW's Aunt Jane from Trent Lee and Aunt M); photos to come. Missing Silver (5.19.2005-10.27.2016), Tigger (4.5.2007-3.18.2016), darling Sam (5.10.2000-8.8.2013), Jacey-Kasey (5.19.2003-8.22.2011), and Oreo (1997-3.30.2006) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethGPAPS Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 How awful for you. I don't know if this will be any solace or if it will just come off as insensitive, but: I have Isabella's ashes here, in an urn that I had made just for them...I really thought that possessing her cremains would be such an important thing. It has turned out that they hold very little meaning for me. I hardly even go into the den where her ashes sit on a shelf, but I visit my collection of photographs of her often, and while I'm looking into her beautiful eyes I think of her and talk to her. That bag of powder isn't my girl. She's right here where's she's always been and that's where your Suenos will always be for you, too. Quote Rugrat's Rebel (Simon) 09/03/1995-03/22/2010, Silly Savannah 05/14/1995-02/13/2009, Isabella de Moreau the Sloughi 05/15/1993-10/14/2008, Hammy the IG 06/11/04 and ChiChi the Chihuahua 2003 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Becki Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 :grouphug Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest FullMetalFrank Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 I am sorry; you must be devastated. When we lost Iberia, he was at the e-vet and in my distress, I did not realize that I was supposed to make arrangements, and they did not offer any info to me. I was with him while he passed, I said my goodbyes, they gave me his collar, and collected my payment and that was that. He never got to come home and the guilt has always been with me. That was me failing him. What happened to you was circumstances beyond your control and you should not feel badly. I have since come to terms and realize that he has never left me, he's tucked right into my heart safe and snug and ashes or no ashes, he will always be right here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forevermybabies Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 (edited) The rituals of death are important to us as humans (and I've heard to some animals as well), and one of those rituals is having a place to visit, be it a grave, or cremains. I can imagine that not having that is making dealing with your grief even harder. I truly do understand. There isn't anything you can do about that, but sometimes just identifying a place to visit, to make sacred, will help. My grandfather died when I was a kid, and while I visit his grave sometimes, the place that I truly feel his presence the most, and feel closest to him, is not at the cemetary. It's where I had the happiest memories with him. Maybe finding a place like this would help you. Identify the place where you and Suenos were happiest, and go there to remember her and feel close to her. Somehow I feel that my grandfather would rather have me visit his spirit in a place of joy than in a place of sorrow. To remember him as he was when alive, and not what remained when he died. I have my animals ashes, but it is when I go to the dog park or where we walked, that I feel most connected to their memories. That is where they are most alive for me. But above all know that what is loved remains in the heart. When I die, I want to be cremated, but they can scatter my ashes or whatever. I plan to be somewhere far more interesting than in an urn. HUGS! Tami Edited March 31, 2009 by Forevermybabies Quote Tami, Nikki & Gypsy (non-greyhounds, but still pretty good dogs.) Deeply missing Sunscreen Man, Angel (Back on the Job), Switzler Festus and Joe (Indio Starr) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LoveMyJoseyBean Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 :grouphug :grouphug I am so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiona3 Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 I am so sorry this has happened to add to your grief. Please remember - you did not fail her and as others have said, she is always in your heart. We have the ashes of our greys but I feel the closest to them in their photos and the memorial garden I planted for them. Each spring when the special plant I chose for each one reblooms it brings a feeling of connection with them. In a way I am still taking care of them. May you find that special place where you can feel comfort and peace. Quote Hobbes - April 2, 1994 to April 9, 2008-----Tasha - May 23, 2000 to March 31, 2013 Fiona - Aug 29, 2001 to May 5, 2014-----Bailey - March 22, 2001 to Jan 20, 2015 Zeke - June 1, 2004 - Jan 26, 2016----Callie - July 14, 2006 to July 27, 2019 Forever in my heart: Chooch, Molly, Dylan & Lucy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Flysmom Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 I am so sorry! You DID NOT fail her!!!!! Please, don't think that!!! The people you trusted totake care of her body failed you! I am still waiting on Fly's ashes and I start to get worried. I will need to call the vet in a few days.... When my little Kira passed away in January, we took her home and she is in our backyard now. We planted a Magnolia bush for her, a little Angle is sitting on her grave and I light a candle for her, I am still looking for a beautiful plant for Fly to plant by Kira. Sitting on the Patio and seing Kiras Magnolia and her Candle at night brings me peace. Do something like this or in your home and remember the good times and not the mess up caused by other people! Hugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MerlinsMum Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Oh my gosh! :cry1 What an AWFUL thing. Unbelievable! The crematorium should issue a VERY HUMBLE apology for being so delinquent and incompetent and adding to your existing grief. I am so terribly sorry... but please don't beat yourself up. You did not fail her, you loved her and love her still. Try to think of the beautiful, happy times you spent together. No one can ever take those wonderful times and and memories away from you. :grouphug Quote Kerry with Lupin in beautiful coastal Maine. Missing Pippin, my best friend and sweet little heart-healer 2013-2023 Also missing the best wizard in the world, Merlin, and my sweet 80lb limpet, Sagan, every single day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rascalsmom Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 I'm so sorry to hear this. OF COURSE, it was NOT your fault. You had no control over what happened. I did get Buddy's cremains back. I have them in a beautiful box, along with cards we received after his death, his collar, his tag collar and tags, his harness (which still has some of his soft white hair on it), and the "tribute" I posted for him on our adoption group's website. Honestly, the cremains probably have the least emotional attachment for me. It's his harness, with his hair on it....things he actually wore....that mean the most to me. Buddy has been gone for three weeks and one day now, and every now and then I get the box down and look at his things. It does make me miss him more, but sometimes I just need to "reconnect" with him. His ashes are just his physical "remains"....he lives on inside me, in my memories of him. Quote Phoebe (Belle's Sweetpea) adopted 9/2/13. Jack (BTR Captain Jack) 9/28/05--11/2/12Always missing Buddy, Ruby, and Rascal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mmehs Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 i'm so sorry, this makes me incredibly sad. you did not fail her in any way. she is always & forever with you in the wonderful memories you have that make you smile, laugh, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetdogs Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 This is just awful. You had so little time with Suenos & now you must feel like she's gone forever. But she's not & she would never want you to be sad because of her. You gave her a chance to enjoy life as a pet & although she couldn't stay here on earth, she is forever in your heart. Quote Deirdre with Conor (Daring Pocobueno), Keeva (Kiowa Mimi Mona), & kittehs Gemma & robthomas. Our beloved angels Faolin & Liath, & kittehs Mona & Caesar. Remembering Bobby, Doc McCoy, & Chip McGrath. "He feeds you, pets you, adores you, collects your poop in a bag. There's only one explanation: you are a hairy little god." Nick Galifinakis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Che_mar_Cody Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 How terrible, and like the others said, it's not your fault. She's in your heart and your memories....she'll be forever with you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaliforniaGreys Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 This really makes me ill, I am so sorry Quote Missing my little Misty who took a huge piece of my heart with her on 5/2/09, and Ekko, on 6/28/12 For the sick, the lost, and the homeless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TBSFlame Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 You did not fail someone else did. Think of some special tribute for your special dog. A memorial garden, a special piece of art something that you can see. I do have Beecher's ashes inside but I did a memorial garden with a large greyhound statue out by the fish pond. It is a wonderful place to sit and reflect. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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