Oh I'm so sorry. I know exactly how you are feeling right now. I got that news in May about my Jack. I also chose not to amputate. I didn't know what to expect and still don't really. I rushed out and bought everything I knew he loved and spent the next days giving him every possible treat. I thought I was going to lose him within the next week. It is July now and I sometimes can't believe he is really sick. he is on Tramadol and Meloxicam. He doesn't limp and he is not in pain. Twice now the muscles in the leg have cramped and he has tripodded for a couple days. But then he is back to his old self. There is no swelling. He is very happy and he is eating wonderfully well.
All this is to say you can only take each day as it is given to you. Control the pain and try to live as they do, in the moment. It is so hard but I don't know what tomorrow or next week will bring so I take joy in his beautiful face today.