Forevermybabies

Oh **! I'm so sorry. I don't know anything about it, but I'm sending lots of good thoughts and love. Tami

I'm so sorry Yvonne. I didn't know that Echo was sick. She was such an interesting girl...the stuffy monster! Please extend my sympathies to Bill. Tami

You're welcome Linda. I know what Otis means to you (and to us.) Last night I let Festus sleep in my bed...Put the cat food up so he wouldn't get it. I forgot about the cat box. I woke up to Festus' teeth in my face, COATED with that scoopable litter. Like concrete pylons barricading his tongue. Streaks of grey litter all over his feet, and a solidified pee block in the middle of my bedroom (apparently he got full in the middle of his midnight snack and couldn't quite finish that last blob.) He was sleeping very soundly when I left though. Apparently a pound of clay in one's gut is very satisfying. But Festus is my Otis, ya know. So when I gush about Otis, it's because I understand. I re-read some of Otis' posts last night. You are a very smart and funny lady Linda, and it's going to get you through this. When I saw what Festus had done, I thought I could just about hear your Otis impression, "I was fwamed." He is with us every day.

It's almost one a.m., and I'm just sitting here thinking about you and Otis, so I decided to come here... I haven't been on GT for a long while, but it's too late to do much else. It really is so unfair. You're right, Linda. It's just not freaking fair. When I first saw your email, I felt just the way you said, Like there had to be some mistake. What else could explain our wonderful friend being taken from us? I don't know. I still don't know. What I DO know is that every decision that you have ever made for those dogs was made out of love. You have never waited too long or not tried hard enough. You are going to question everything you did this weekend because it's what we do when we don't understand what happened. And the questions change depending on what happened... "Was it too soon?" "Was it too late?" Did I wait too long or not long enough? You question because you can't wrap your mind around something that just makes no damned sense. Cancer, stroke, aneurism, whatever...it's just not right. Otis isn't here, and there's no way to make that seem like the right thing. No answer will EVER satisfy the question of Why Otis? Because there's no good answer. Otis shouldn't be gone. No other answer will ever be right. I'd like to say that there's a short cut to make this pain stop, or at least buy you some surcease. But you know from your experience with Dewey that there's not. It just hurts like a **. (And yes, I know that will only show up as asterisks, but I still had to write it because there's just no other word.) I also agree that you have to find a way to get that last image of Otis out of your head. You have to remember him the way he was every other moment of your lives together - as a beautiful, wonderful dog. Otis had the softest ears...And this look on his face that could just melt your heart. Having Otis there with you was a kind of peace. Like whatever else was going on, when you would kiss his cheek, your heart felt calm. He was kind of a Zen dog. I feel really lucky to have known him, to have gotten to share my universe with a being that was here with us for the sole purpose to sharing love. My God, really, what else is there? If you can find a piece of that calmness, of that peace, that Otis brought. If you can hold in your heart the memory of what he wanted you to have, then THAT is the peace you seek - the one that he brought you. Because Linda, he gave you that love to keep. He didn't take it with him. He gave and gave and gave. What he took with him was the love that you gave him. If there's respite to be had from the grief of losing Otis, let it be the salve of the love that he left you with. I don't understand why Otis. Why now? Why? I don't know. It's not fair. It's not right. But we got to have him here with US. For the ephemeral time that he had here, you got to hold him and love him and snuggle and sleep with him. I got to pet him and kiss him and laugh at his sweet cuteness. Aren't we LUCKY? We really are. And unfortunately, the measure of our grief is the depth of our love. And it's bottomless. I remember reading something (probably here) that was a story of a religious leader who said, to a grieving parishioner, Would you have loved him less, so that your grief would not be so deep? And you know the answer. You couldn't have loved him any differently than you did. Anyway, that's a long freaking way of saying that it's okay to question, and grieve and feel like the ground should swallow you whole. And it will get better eventually. And Otis will remain forever in the hearts of everyone who knew him. He wasn't just any dog, he was OTIS! He was amazing. There are dogs, and then there are dogs. And then there's Otis. And when I picture his face, his ears at half mast as when he was expecting something good...I smile through tears.

I'm so sorry.

I've been MIA lately, so I missed this. Peatie had lymphoma? Sounds like he went quickly. I lost my first grey to lymphoma and it sounds so similar. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it's so hard...

Oh Jen...I've been off for a few days and just saw this...My heart is breaking for you... I'm so sorry...

Oh, no...I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry for your loss. I wonder, too, if 7 is old.

Please extend my condolences to Teri. She's a very special woman, and I'm sure that Eric was a wonderful boy.

As someone who hasn't seen her in quite a while, I have to say that she looks very good. She may look skinny to you, but she doesn't look emaciated. I'm glad she's feeling better. She certainly looks like she's got a spark in her eye!

It doesn't seem possible that it's been so long. I'm so sorry Tania.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry...Do you think it's harder on Emily because they were littermates?

Oh Donna...I just am speechless. I'm so sorry... I'm sending lots of love to you all...

Oh Lord...So much beauty has been taken from you...I'm so sorry...

Oh no...I'm so sorry Devon. She was so wonderful. You have my complete sympathy. Hugs and more hugs.

I remember when she died, and always remember the lesson that her tragic death taught me and so many others. I'm so sorry for your loss. She did NOT die in vain.

Good warning. Many years ago, I took the dogs for a jog in the evening when it had cooled down...but I didn't realize that the street was still hot enough to burn their feet. Poor Angel had to wear little socks for a week because all four of her pads blistered off. So even when it SEEMS nice and cool, if it was hot in the day, be careful!

I'll add mine as well. My heart aches every time I come to this thread, and I find myself reading some and just feeling too sad to read them all or post. But my sympathies are with everyone who has to post here. It's such a painful truth of life that no matter how long they are with us, it's never long enough. Mindful of you the sodden earth in spring, And all the flowers that in the springtime grow, And dusty roads, and thistles, and the slow Rising of the round moon, all throats that sing The summer through, and each departing wing, And all the nests that the bared branches show, And all winds that in any weather blow, And all the storms that the four seasons bring. You go no more on your exultant feet Up paths that only mist and morning knew, Or watch the wind, or listen to the beat Of a bird's wings too high in air to view,-- But you were something more than young and sweet And fair,--and the long year remembers you. Edna St. Vincent Millay. Time does not bring relief; you all have lied Who told me time would ease me of my pain! I miss him in the weeping of the rain; I want him at the shrinking of the tide; The old snows melt from every mountain-side, And last year's leaves are smoke in every lane; But last year's bitter loving must remain Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide! There are a hundred places where I fear To go,--so with his memory they brim! And entering with relief some quiet place Where never fell his foot or shone his face I say, "There is no memory of him here!" And so stand stricken, so remembering him! Edna St. Vincent Millay

I'm so very very sorry.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I love this sonnet and think the last line is beautiful: Mindful of you the sodden earth in spring, And all the flowers that in the springtime grow, And dusty roads, and thistles, and the slow Rising of the round moon, all throats that sing The summer through, and each departing wing, And all the nests that the bared branches show, And all winds that in any weather blow, And all the storms that the four seasons bring. You go no more on your exultant feet Up paths that only mist and morning knew, Or watch the wind, or listen to the beat Of a bird's wings too high in air to view,-- But you were something more than young and sweet And fair,--and the long year remembers you. Edna St. Vincent Millay

Done. I didn't get asked for a subject when I did it through the link in the post, but my email address is my name!

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry. That's really sad. He started something truly wonderful...not many dogs leave a legacy.