Forevermybabies

I can't imagine bringing your dog in for teeth cleaning and losing him...I'm so sorry.

She was a beautiful girl...wow. I'm sorry for your loss.

I just got an email today from Festus' littermate's mom. Switzler LookOut has crossed the bridge. He just got a clean bill of health Saturday, but had a seizure - and it sounds like a stroke - today. God speed Lookie. Festus, Angel and Joe will be waiting to greet you.

It's an amazing feeling to miss them so, but to be grateful to have had the time you had. So bittersweet. Hugs.

I'm so sorry...

No words...just hugs. I'm sorry.

Getting the ashes back...So hard. I guess it gets easier with every day, but every animal takes a little piece with them when they go.

What a beautiful girl. I'm sorry.

I found Greytalk when my first Greyhound, Joe, died in 2001. You are right that if anyone understands, it's the people of GT. I'm sorry that you had to find us this way, but I'm glad that you're here. It does help to know that others care. Please accept my condolences.

That's so heartbreaking. I can't imagine how shocked you must feel. I'm sorry for your loss.

My sister said, God help them in Heaven! 'Put up your garbage, here she comes!' I said, yeah, I don't think they knew what they were asking for when they wanted this Angel up in Heaven. Sunscreen Man is very very sad. We were at my friend's house today and her neighbor came over and said, "What a sad-looking dog. Does he always have such a sad face?" No...no he doesn't. He lost his whole pack this winter. We both did. He's hurting. And I don't know what to do. The cats don't seem to be doing it. The neighbor kids came over and took him out for a bit,but was already pretty worn out from spending the day at Deb's house. They're going to come back tomorrow. If nothing else, they will give him something else to think about. (They are almost 7 and 9. Girls. A little talkative!)

Thanks Becki. Angel will take the blame for all of that with the same aplumb as everything else she was responsible for. We were always so happy to have you guys come to the meet and greets. I'm going to have to make a special effort to get Sunscreen Man out and about now as he doesn't have anyone here to play with anymore. PS, I still think your friend at the vet clinic has gotten you into more trouble than we ever did.

Well...it seems to be happening a lot around here lately. And I often feel that my grief doesn't compare to much that I see around me. I have a friend who lost her brother last year. Another who lost her daughter last summer. Others here who have lost so many and so much. And yet, I have always felt that no one's loss diminishes any one else's - so I'm unclear why I feel like I should be handling this better than I am in the face of what others go through. But I do feel that. That grief should be somehow easily scored and appropriately assigned. So I am left to wonder how any of us survives in the face of our hearts breaking over and over. Yet, we do, don't we? I don't know how. Yesterday I lost Angel. She slipped away so quickly and quietly and yet, I could feel, even if I could not hear, the tearing apart of my heart. My pack has fallen away, and I feel bereft. Last night Sunscreen Man came and slept in my bed with me. We were a comfort to each other. Two old dogs who have lost their singing, rooing, laughing, poking partners. Angel was my funny girl. She would walk around the house shoving things with her nose, just to see what would fall over. Rejoicing if that thing happened to contain food or garbage. Boxes, rocking chairs, lamps, books...if it moved at all, she would nudge it - hard - just to see what might happen. At the dog park, she was a loner. Looking for trouble, mostly. The frogs she flayed, who then had to be put out of their misery with a rock (by a stranger who I begged...I could never do it.) When she was young, she would leap up and give me a fat lip when I got the leash because she was so excited to be going...oh ANYWHERE. When I called her from her play, when Sunscreen Man would studiously ignore me, and Festus didn't need to be called because he never left my side...she would come running at top speed from whatever mischief she was in to hurl herself at my feet. I would be walking in the park, and not even be able to see her in the woods, and I would just call or whistle, and she would magically appear. She was also the "Bad" girl. Digging through garbage and scattering it through the house. Eating...horrid things. Doing whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted. But with great love. I think the words most often was said to her by my 16 year old were, "Seriously Angel? Seriously?" when he would catch her either doing or just having done something ridiculously naughty. It was a sad day yesterday when I realized that my belongings were safe again where I left them. My bags would not be gone through. My coat not pulled off the chair and dragged to bed. My shoes unmolested. Another pang went through my heart when I knew that my naughty girl was gone for real. She was a terror to all form of vermin, varmints and rodents. In her life, she caught a mouse (with the help of one of my cats), rabbits, squirrels, frogs, bugs, and just about anything else that would hold still. Even last Sunday, she threw up two Boxelder bugs. She wouldn't eat, but she couldn't resist the bugs. (My vet said it wouldn't matter. They're not toxic.) The girl who would roll over onto her back for anyone to rub her tummy, and then rub her face if they stopped...her signal to "keep on!" She loved meet and greets, where people would oooh and aaah over her beautiful face. We were at a Gay Pride Parade in Minneapolis one time and ran into her trainer from WI...she recognized her - four years after she'd been adopted. Her name then was April Louise. I keep looking over at the couch to look at her there...she would always sit across from me and just watch me. I just can't believe she's gone. Can't believe she's with Festus now. And Joe. And Meer and Jezebel, and Holly and Kitty...And I can't believe what a big task she's got ahead of her to find all of her pack so they can all wait for us together. My sister sent me these pictures today. They made me laugh through my tears. My sister does the Renaissance Festival, and used to have a fox tail to wear around her waist. Used to. Angel had a pretty good nose, and was not particlarly considerate of other people's property. Sorry this is so long...Sunscreen Man and I are taking the day off to go to the dog park. We're both quite depressed. He was SO HAPPY when Angel came home Wednesday, and now...well...we need to get out of the house. Angel and the former fox tail. (Incidentally, I do not endorse the wearing of fur, fox tails, or any other abuse of animals. I'm sorry for the fox.) Unrepentant. Satisfied. My girl.

What would that do? BTW, she just threw everything up.

Well, I forced another few bites down her throat. She seems like she'll tolerate me doing that for about three bites, then she just refuses to swallow. She gags a little bit. Definitely doesn't like it. But I don't feel like I have a choice. She is only drinking a little water now. She'll get up to get a drink and then back to bed. I did get her pills in her this morning. Anti-nausea, pepcid and antibiotic.

I force fed her about three bites of cat food, but she just wouldn't swallow any more than that. Cottage cheese doesn't work, either. She just has no interest in anything. She'll get up to go outside once in a while, but it seems to wear her out. I have her in a little area where the floor is covered with rugs and potty pads so she won't slip or pee on the hard floor. I've been trying to get her to drink broth at least, but she only wants water. She looks skeletal.

Oh, and she's peeing a lot of blood. They don't know if it's from her bladder or her kidneys. But she only gets up to drink, pee on the floor, or puke. Then back to sleeping. She's emaciated because she won't eat anything. She hasn't eaten since she had a tiny bit of food Sunday. The vet said not to force her, but to keep trying things - whatever she'll eat. Which is nothing. NOTHING. I've tried everything, and she just spits it out if I try to put something in her mouth anyway.

Angel is home. The vet seemed think that a) there wasn't much else to be done in the hospital, and 2) she was getting very stressed out. He said he could tell she was getting very depressed, and thought perhaps she might at least eat if she were home. She came home and drank a lot...then puked. So I took the water away and tried to get her to eat something. She won't. She just lies here sleeping. I'm hoping to get the vet from the adoption group and my vet to discuss the case and see if anything more can be done. My vet is going to fax over the test results. He said to call him tomorrow. Angel seems comfortable, but just sleeps and won't eat.

No change as of now. She's been in the hospital for three days now. I have a meeting with the vet at 4pm. I have no idea what to expect.

She's about the same as yesterday. The vet said that she should continue in the ICU at least for another day. So she's getting fluids, antibiotics and anti-vomiting meds. She just mostly sleeps. She walked into the room, but was having difficulty standing. The vet brought in a blanket and we laid on the floor together, but she didn't seem to particularly know or care that I was there. She's just too tired. She sleeps - that's about it. So far, our two day total is = to my mortgage payment. Holy crap it adds up. On the bright side, Sunscreen Man is doing well. He misses her I think, but is healthy. I appreciate your kind thoughts and words. I really do. I'm so depressed, I can hardly get out of bed. In fact, I didn't until my appointment to see Angel at 1:15. I made dinner though and the kids and Sunscreen Man are in the other room eating seconds, thirds and fourths. So that's good. I think we're going to watch Alice Adams. Thanks again. I'll let you know tomorrow what's happening.

I have said it before, but this time I mean it. Not just because of the heart break, but because my life doesn't give me the time or energy to even enjoy them. If I had known 10 years ago that I would be a single mom with all these animals and my kids, and as much as I work now. Well, I wouldn't have made the choices I made. But I was married, and working normal hours. Now, I can't do it anymore. I'm broken. It's the end of that era of my life.

Thank you. Actually, it's her kidneys that aren't working well, if at all. They're not sure why not. They're going to work on getting her hydrated and giving her antibiotics for 24 hours. He says 48 would be better. I hope she's SO MUCH better because that's over $100. (With the $600 that they're already estimating.) She did look better when I went to see her. She lifted her head, and looked hydrated anyway. The vet is very nice, and is going to call me in the morning, and I'll head back over there to see her. I swear, when the animals I have are gone, I'm done. I can't do this anymore. Last year Meer and Festus, now this. Sunscreen (Angel's littermate) is eleven, too. They don't get any younger. The cats at least are middle aged, though I think the new one has worms, so they're going to deal with that tomorrow. Between the animals and other things that are really hard in my life right now, I'm just holding on myself. Luckily I have all you guys and my friends here. You all keep me sane. (Sort of!)

She's been done with the antibiotics for almost a week, so I don't think that's the problem. She's very weak and wobbly. I've been trying to find a lower cost vet. I can't get in and out of my vet for less than $200 it seems, so I'm hoping that the vet in Northfield will be better. I'm going to take her tomorrow. Poor baby. She's just so sick. We went out for a little today, and returned to find a large vomit in the bathroom, pee on the floor by the door. I have NO idea where she got the veggies (and boxelder bugs) that were in the vomit, which was just chunks of veggies and clear fluid. (VERY slimy though...set off my gag reflex big time. Grey had to take over.) Oh, wait...there was a plate of veggies and rice that the kids didn't eat ON THE COUNTER. Hmmm...I'll have to go downstairs and see if she got that. Well, at least she'd be showing interest in food. She is eating actually. I gave her hamburger and rice today, and she liked it. I gave her a can of food yesterday and she liked that, too. But since Friday almost every rib is showing and all her vertebrae, so while she's eating, she's still wasting.

OMG! Wow. That is quite a story! I have chills. It's amazing how quickly things happen. That was such a bad break, too! Poor Cora! I hope that pain management goes well and she's feeling better soon.

I stopped when the dogs hit 10. The vet said that the balance of risk tips to the negative as they get older. In other words, the diseases that you vaccinate against are less likely to harm the dog than the vaccine itself.