You gave it your all and that's all that can ever be expected. Loca, without a doubt, knew you adored her. Don't look back, look forward and remember the wonderful, crazy, times you had together. That's what she wants. Loca's there in your heart, she's never far. I still think about Scooter and how he could have gone on but I didn't want him to suffer from the enivetable pain of osteo. I think our heart dogs go on for us. Personally, I think that's what is hard. Truly, there is nothing to forgive or beat yourself up over....you did for Loca out of love. How could that ever be wrong?