Another Question About Sleeping In Bed W You

[Guest lynne893]

hi, one of our new girls, swiftie, has taken to jumping up into bed with us in the middle of the night. it's kind of strange because prior to this week, she's always acted like she didn't even know what the bed was or she wasn't interested.

 

i have mixed feelings about dogs sleeping in bed with us. we've never done it before! i know we either need to nip it in the bud, or go with it and just establish rules / permissions.

 

anyone else struggle with this decision? any advice?

 

we only have a queen size bed, and i sometimes don't sleep well-- very sensitive to space, temperature, coverings, etc. if we had a king, maybe it would be a no-brainer!

 

thank you! happy holidays!

[Sambuca]

My boy sleeps in bed with me, but I had him for many months before I allowed it. 1. Because he needed to know I was boss (that sounds horrible, but he needed to know it was MINE). 2. He came to me with an oozy infection at his neuter site and there was NO WAY!! he was getting on my furniture with that.

 

If Swiftie is respectful of you while on the bed and has no space or sleep startle issues, I don't see it as a problem. If she has those issues, I wouldn't let her sleep on the bed because it can lead to a bite. What it really comes down to, is do you want her on your bed? That seems to be your issue and no one but you can answer that for you.

[greysmom]

You don't say how long she's been with you, and that would factor in any response. If less than three months or so, depending on the dog, you may not know yet if she will be OK to sleep with you safely. Some questions to think about:

>Does she have ANY space issues?

>Does she tend to guard things she considers hers (toys, treats, food, her bed, other special resources)?

>Does she challenge you, or pretend not to hear you when you ask her to do something?

>Has she ever snapped at you for any reason?

 

Answering "yes" may mean your dog needs a bit more time and training before bed priviledges should be given.

 

>How do you feel about dog hair, dirt, licky wet spots, treat fragments, and other dog effluvia in your bed?

>Do *YOU* have space issues? (I say this because I do, and sometimes I get very little sleep if our bed sleeper is feeling frisky in the middle of the night and has a dream zoomie session)?

>Can you, and any companion, both sleep on the bed in comfort when the dog is on there too?

 

If you're not comfortable with having her on the bed for sleeping, then don't allow it. It will take some time an persistence on your part because they can be very stubborn when they want a thing. Stop her before she gets on your bed and redirect her to her bed. If she does get up there, don't grab her collar to move her off - teach her a command (off, or down or whatever you want to use), or attach a leash and lead her off to her bed. You may have to do this many many times, especially if she's already been allowed up there. If you want her with you for snuggles, but then want her to sleep on her bed, give her a command and treat her when she obeys. Be positive and upbeat and firm. And don't give in to the sad eyes when you establish a rule and she wants something different.

 

Good luck!

[Brindles]

Personally, I LOVE sleeping with my dogs. But I dislike sleeping in dog hair more, so they aren't allowed on the bed anymore.

[Guest Swifthounds]

You don't say how long she's been with you, and that would factor in any response. If less than three months or so, depending on the dog, you may not know yet if she will be OK to sleep with you safely. Some questions to think about:

>Does she have ANY space issues?

>Does she tend to guard things she considers hers (toys, treats, food, her bed, other special resources)?

>Does she challenge you, or pretend not to hear you when you ask her to do something?

>Has she ever snapped at you for any reason?

 

Answering "yes" may mean your dog needs a bit more time and training before bed priviledges should be given.

 

>How do you feel about dog hair, dirt, licky wet spots, treat fragments, and other dog effluvia in your bed?

>Do *YOU* have space issues? (I say this because I do, and sometimes I get very little sleep if our bed sleeper is feeling frisky in the middle of the night and has a dream zoomie session)?

>Can you, and any companion, both sleep on the bed in comfort when the dog is on there too?

 

If you're not comfortable with having her on the bed for sleeping, then don't allow it. It will take some time an persistence on your part because they can be very stubborn when they want a thing. Stop her before she gets on your bed and redirect her to her bed. If she does get up there, don't grab her collar to move her off - teach her a command (off, or down or whatever you want to use), or attach a leash and lead her off to her bed. You may have to do this many many times, especially if she's already been allowed up there. If you want her with you for snuggles, but then want her to sleep on her bed, give her a command and treat her when she obeys. Be positive and upbeat and firm. And don't give in to the sad eyes when you establish a rule and she wants something different.

 

Good luck!

 

 

Whether you'll eventually allow it or not, sleeping in bed the first 3-6 months is not a great idea. IT's a settling period for the hound and a dog that seems to have no space issues now, may just not demonstrate them right away. Same thing with furniture.

 

No hound in my house has ever been aloud on either until they demonstrated that they could reliably get on or off the furniture at my verbal command. If you allow it absent that training, you end up in a situation where you have to just live with where the dog is and work around it (incorrectly teaching the dog that he/she makes the decisions) or needing to physically remove the dog and thereby making a violent reaction more likely. Teaching the dog that he/she makes the decisions or can bully you to get what she/he wants is not just counter-intuitive (you're the obvious choice as the authority, unless your dog has a job and can feed itself) it's damaging to the relationship as a whole.

 

Whatever you decide, make sure it's the best decision for you. A dog that's allowed to sleep in your bed doesn't love you more than the dog that sleeps on a bed on the floor. The best thing that a dog can get from you -love-wise, is a sense of the rules and expectations. That, more than affection, toys, or a soft spot to lay, gives them comfort and confidence in their environment and relationships.

[OwnedBySummer]

If you are experienced with dogs and can read them well, then you can have them on your bed right away (assuming that what you're reading is all good signs, of course). Summer was on my bed by the 2nd night and she'll never be sleeping anywhere else again. I have always slept with my dogs.

[FountainLady]

After you size up to a KING sized bed - then you need to order a "snarf-proof" and lick proof bedspread/coverlet - then having the hound(s) sleep with you gets much better.

 

This coverlet was the best dog-related purchase we have made. Rainy used to shred up the quilts/bedspreads we put on our bed by her nesting in the blankets, and she would make "wet spots" on the bed, due to her licking and trying to clean the spread all of the time.

 

Orvis Water Resistant Coverlet

 

She has stopped licking (must not like the texture), can't snag this with her claws - and it is the perfect weight for summer & in cold weather - it goes over the top, and protects our heavier quilt in the winter.

 

I no longer am replacing bedspreads several times a year.

[Guest Swifthounds]

You can be experienced with dogs (dunno whether I'm experienced ), but what is important is being experienced with that particular hound, having established expectations, so that everyone knows the rules and can predict one another's behavior. Why do we rush things? Because we get emotional benefit from the dog in the bed and we're primarily motivated by what makes us feel good. The dog gets nothing greater from sleeping in a bed with you the first night home than it does sleeping on its own bed on the floor.

 

Have I had dogs who would have been fine from word one, even on a bed with multiple other dogs? Sure. Over the years, have I had a very stable, welcoming pack that has helped new dogs get through a variety of issues? Sure. Do I prefer not to take chances? You bet. A dog bite that requires medical treatment documents a biting history for that dog, something that follows it, even if rehomed. Biting begets biting, because it's almost always a communication problem that continues. What do most bites involve? Beds (dog or human), furniture, etc. and people in them with the hound.

Edited December 28, 2010 by Swifthounds

[Guest TBSFlame]

My boy sleeps in bed with me, but I had him for many months before I allowed it. 1. Because he needed to know I was boss (that sounds horrible, but he needed to know it was MINE). 2. He came to me with an oozy infection at his neuter site and there was NO WAY!! he was getting on my furniture with that.

 

If Swiftie is respectful of you while on the bed and has no space or sleep startle issues, I don't see it as a problem. If she has those issues, I wouldn't let her sleep on the bed because it can lead to a bite. What it really comes down to, is do you want her on your bed? That seems to be your issue and no one but you can answer that for you.

 

The first thing I teach a new hound is MOVE or GET DOWN. I would not allow one on the bed until they understand those two commands. A greyhound can get bossy and begin to think the bed is their bed. My black girls sleep with me but they know the MOVE command. I must confess I do not sleep well.

[Guest barkdogs]

My dogs sleep on the bed--they also know "off" and "over." I think it'd personal choice--just be sure your hounds know that the bed is yours, not theirs. I find that training commands like "up," "off," and "over" (as in move over!") before allowing bed time to be helpful.

 

Probably doesn't do much for my love life though.

[Guest FastDogsOwnMe]

All mine sleep in the bed from day one if they're interested, though anyone who growls at me or the others (unless the others deserve it for being obnoxious or stepping right on the new dog) gets the boot until that behavior passes. Usually it takes a few weeks for them to learn to get on the bed in my experience, but I have had a few who just hopped right up!

[Guest cassie19]

We struggled with that decision too. Kiwa is the first dog I've had since being on my own and wanted her to sleep with us. The first few weeks she was allowed up. I hated it. I like my space. I like being able to move around and not kick her in the head. She also had space issues. If you got too close or in the wrong spot while she was sleeping, she'd snap and growl. We made her her own bed right next to ours so she is still close. Now she'll only come up when she's cold and tries to cuddle us to get warmer. I just tuck her back in her bed and she's fine.

[GeorgeofNE]

It took 18 months, and me lifting him up on the bed and holding him there to get George on the bed. Now I can't get rid of him!

 

I like having him up there--but I live alone and there is space for him. He does have sleep aggression issues, so it is probably not wise of me to permit this...and yet I do.

 

If you are not a sound sleeper, and it sounds like you're really not, it would probably be best to not allow it. You need your sleep, right? I find I actually sleep better with him up there--makes me feel secure somehow, but everyone is different.

[Guest june]

Check out "New Girlie wants to own the bed" posted in this area. IF nothing else you'll have a good laugh! I have worked through most of the problem with her "owning" the bed. It really boiled down to her recognizing that I am the boss.

 

As someone else said, you really need to decide if you want them sleeping with you or not.

june

[MaryJane]

Since you are undecided maybe it's best if you don't allow him on the bed yet. It's always easy to let him get up on the bed later if you decide but, it's not so easy to keep him off the bed once he's been up there.

[Guest ctgreylover]

Tony knows MOVE ... when its bed time he hops up and gets comfy while I do whatever ... I say MOVE and he gets off until I am all set then I say UP.

It really is a personal choice but once you start, you cant change your mind. Make sure you are willing to share the space for the dog's life.

 

It took 18 months, and me lifting him up on the bed and holding him there to get George on the bed. Now I can't get rid of him!

 

I like having him up there--but I live alone and there is space for him. He does have sleep aggression issues, so it is probably not wise of me to permit this...and yet I do.

 

If you are not a sound sleeper, and it sounds like you're really not, it would probably be best to not allow it. You need your sleep, right? I find I actually sleep better with him up there--makes me feel secure somehow, but everyone is different.

Me too and Tony too - its scary to have him try to bite my nose when I am trying to wake him

[a_daerr]

Our Henry sleeps in the bed, but to be honest, I wish we never encouraged it in the first place. Unless you have a very large bed, greyhounds tend to be hogs. Those long legs will sprawl out and before I know it, I'm curled up in the furthest corner clutching the tiniest piece of blanket. Also, Henry sometimes has space issues and forgets that the bed belongs to ME, not him. He's growled at us if we change positions or try to move him. I do agree with the others, that if you allow your grey on the bed, you should absolutely teach them commands like "down" and "move." Henry knows that when I raise my voice and point to the floor, that it's time for him to get off. Good luck!

[Guest NJgrey]

I love snuggling with the hound in bed when we sleep in on weekends, but at night she has her bed and we have ours. I like to move around a lot to get comfortable, and I know I move in my sleep. I really don't feel like fighting a dog for bed space and blanket coverage. Plus as someone already said, those legs are long! They may start off curled up but they unfold and then it's like sleeping with a moose.

 

Keep a squirt bottle on the night stand if you want to discourage the behavior. When she jumps up, a couple squirts will do the trick. She'll learn very easily.

[Guest lynne893]

Thank you all for your very wise responses!!

 

I've decided that for as pleasurable as it is to have a hound snuggle in bed with us, it's not right for our situation. Swiftie DOES have space issues (on her bed when the other dog Greta walks by) and with high value treats. Also, I'd forgotten this, but the first two nights it happened, she barked at DH when he accidentally rolled towards her.

 

She did NOT get up in bed last night in the middle of the night, so that's a good sign that we're moving in the right direction, but if she tries again tonight or from now on, she'll get the strict "OFF" unless she's invited up.

 

Thanks again! Happy New YEar!

Lynne

[Guest iconsmum]

If you are experienced with dogs and can read them well, then you can have them on your bed right away (assuming that what you're reading is all good signs, of course). Summer was on my bed by the 2nd night and she'll never be sleeping anywhere else again. I have always slept with my dogs.

 

 

 

 

 

Have to say, that's what lots of people say who have so far just been lucky...it is sooo not a good idea to recommend sleeping with any new dog from day one just because you imagine you can read them...and you can't - not that early, and while I'm not a proponent of the debunked alpha theories out there, I tell all my clients that their new dogs are in a separate bed for at least the first 6 months, for the safety of everyone in the household during the day as well as the night.

[Guest FastDogsOwnMe]

I think I've only had two or three who got on the bed straight away anyway. Most were scared/unsure of this new, strange thing. But all my hounds have been straight off the track or out of a shelter, with the exception of a couple CL pulls. I think caution is certainly warranted with any new dog. I sleep alone (except for dogs) so no one but me is put at any risk if I invite a new dog to share the bed. I do like to teach ALL the dogs to at least be ABLE to sleep crated or gated in the hall area (leading to the master bathroom) in my room, so they have that ability. I have a dog who cannot be crated or even shut out of the room at all, and I'd like to avoid THAT degree of spoiling in the future (He's a Whippet, and they tend towards SA and crate problems, and when I was a teenager and got him, I didn't know that...)

[Guest kydie]

No dogs in my bed, EVER!, I don't sleep in their's, so they don't sleep in mine, maybe your pup is cold and may need some jammies?

[Guest cwholsin]

We originally decided that the dog wouldn't be on the bed, but for housetraining reasons we had to pack up the crate (isn't THAT a long and involved tale!) and now Hermes sleeps on the bed with us where we can keep an eye on him. He loves the bed, and won't get off the bed until we ask him to--so it works out for us.

 

I would like to address what I hear people say about training to be on the bed or off the bed. I hear people say that there is no going back once you've made a decision to let the dog on. In my experience that is absolutely not true. Dogs live in the moment and while, yes, it might take a little LONGER to re-train not to be on the bed/couch/etc. it's still very much possible. When we first adopted Hermes, we let him use our loveseat with a sheet thrown over it for lounging. He was allowed on there for the better part of a month until we decided that he was going to break the couch (he would bounce off of it when he was playing) and stopped letting him up on it. The first day we just put something bulky and awkward on the couch to keep him from jumping up and used the 'negative noise' when he looked like he was thinking about being on the couch. Second day, no barrier, and we just used the negative noise to keep him off and it worked like a charm. He doesn't try and sneak up on it while we're not supervising, either. So it's totally possible to change your mind--you just have to be consistent about whatever you decide.

 

Our surefire way to make sure Hermes knows we're the boss of the bed? He's not allowed on it without permission. If he jumps up himself, he's immediately told to get down. Like all other good things (besides his dog bed and water), bed access comes through us and us only.

[winnie]

We had our first two greys for over a year before either one tried to get on furniture. It didn't even occur to them until our third greyhound Bonny came along. Bonny was a bounce and used to getting on furniture; however, she didn't get into the bed. Now, three years after Bonny, all four of our greys will get into bed. None of them have space issues with people so we're lucky there. While I don't mind snuggling with a dog, sometimes they can be bed hogs. If they decide they want more room - they can go to their own bed on the floor. They know what "DOWN" means.