How Do You Decide When Enough Is Enough?

[Guest LindsaySF]

I'm so sorry you have to make this decision and there is only one piece of advice I can give you. A little too early is MUCH better than a little too late.

I agree. I'm so sorry you have to make this decision.

[Guest greyhoundis]

The greytest gift of love is to let them go - and as someone said better a day to early than a day to late.

 

recently someone sent this to me when I lost Tootie Panties and I read it everyday

 

"It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are."~Unknown

 

 

Thoughts are with you during this very difficult time.

[Devotion]

prayers for you and your 2 girls.

[Guest poochnme]

Hi,

Ellie is about to turn 11 years old and we were told at christmas that her kideys were starting to fail, i was devistated but we decided to do what we could with her diet to try and help her live as long as she could for as long as she was happy...

 

Well fast forward to now and she is pretty much unable to go out for a walk as her arthritus is bad and so she hobbles everywhere (she even screams out when she lays in her bed and walks sometimes) and she has started pee'ing an awful lot in the house, when we are out and even when we are home, like she just doesent know when she is going to go...

 

She is eating well and drinks an absolute tonne of water per day...

 

I spoke with the vet this morning as the wetting has gotten worse lately and she basically said that there is nothing more they can do and that Ellie wont ever get better and maybe we should consider euthanasia...

 

How do you ever make the decision? Im sat here in tears just writting this, i cant bear it, what about Emily? she is gonna wonder whats happened and where her sister has gone? Will she get lonley (they are litter mates)

 

Im just gutted, i hate all of this, i dont want to let her go but im starting to think that im being selfish and maybe it would be best for her? Im struggling with coming to terms that one day soon we are going to have to let her go...im not sure i can make that decision...what if its the wrong one??

 

Sorry for rambling, i just dont know where else to turn...

 

 

I have just gone through this on Saturday with my Hershey -- there is no easy way. I did not want my other dogs to wonder so I brought them with me -- I don't know if they 'know' but I did not want them thinking I brought Hershey someplace and did not come back with her.

My heart go out to you -- Hershey was on the table -- and I held the front of her in my arms while she got her shot in the rear leg. My vet was so wonderful. My Romeo came over to me after it was over and I sat down and he put his head in my lap and I just held him and cried. Even the cats acted weired when we all came home with no Herhsey -- they know I guess. So I just hugged each one of them and this may be silly but I explained it. I even think they knew how sick Herhsey was.

It is not easy -- it is not selfish to want to hold onto her because you love her -- letting go is so hard -- and it is our final gift of our love to them especially when their quality of life dwindles.

My heart goes out to you ---

[SAVED2]

Yes her littermate will get sick , all ours did it lasted up to a month , give them more attention , after it was done we let the others look and smell.-

[Guest jettcricket]

Sending comforting thoughts to you, your family and Ellie. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.....

[Guest loveagrey]

Ugh... I'm so sorry that this decision is one you're facing. My heart breaks for you, because I know that the same decision isn't too far off for myself. I completely agree that when the enjoyment of every day life is gone, it's time, even though it's such a heartwrenching decision. I remember when my dad passed away, and everyone kept saying, "Poor Bob". It bothered my mom a lot. I told her that "poor Bob" was up in heaven smiling down on us all, and that we were the ones who were then suffering not him, because his suffering was over. It's the same for these beautiful creatures who grace us with their presence. I happy tomorrow lays in wait for them - it's only us that suffers after them.

 

I'm sure that your remaining grey will be sad and confused, but I know that you've got it in you to help ease it for her. Together, you'll have the strength to life each other up and carry on another day.

[Guest fastdogs]

I'm so sorry. It is never easy letting them go, but it really is the most loving thing you can do. When we had to send James to bridge, we knew he was ready. He had fought a hard battle with an FCE and his body gave out. His spirit was strong until the very end. He wasn't even 6. When it was time, he lets us know by the look in his eyes and a low whine. Bonanza spend a couple of weeks looking for him, but soon realised that James wasn't coming home. Bo has adapted nicely to being an only dog. Sure, he misses the company, but he's doing fine on his own. Emily will adapt and you can help her by loving on her a little more.

 

Wishing peace and comfort for Ellie and her family.

[Guest Tory]

Thank you all, DH spoke with the vet this afternoon and we have an appt for 2.40pm on friday, im going from feeling to feeling right now...one minute im relieved for her that its all going to be over, the other part of me is just so dam sad, im frightenned for her...will it be painful? I dont know if i can be there in the room with her...will she hate me for not being there? Im just not sure im strong enough...

 

This morning she laid her her bed and wet again, its just like she doesnt know when its gonna happen, then she looked all sad that she had done it, it just brakes me heart :

 

I feel like this is really hanging over me and i feel like im betraying her by knowing whats going to happen on friday and she is so blissfully unaware, although im sure she knows something is wrong becuase im sad She keeps coming and laying by me...

 

Im just a wreck, i keep taunting myself by thinking about not coming home to her happy tail, her not trying to lick all the plates after dinner before we get chance to get them to the kitchen, her little face not following me around the kitchen all the time and i just feel so sad :

Edited May 29, 2007 by Tory

[Guest fastdogs]

You should go on Friday, not only for her, but so you see for yourself that she passed safely and peacefully. Let her lay down and rest her head on one of your laps, speak to her softly and lovingly. Tell her it's OK to go and that you will take care of Emily for her. The vet will inject her and she will gently, quietly and peacefully pass knowing that she is truly loved. It will be hard on you, but you are doing the right thing.

 

Wishing you peace and comfort.

Edited May 29, 2007 by fastdogs

[Fudge]

[patricia]

I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. I have alerted Angel Sophia...she will be waiting for Ellie.

[jenners]

will it be painful? I dont know if i can be there in the room with her...will she hate me for not being there? Im just not sure im strong enough...i just feel so sad :

 

Sweetie, you are doing such a loving thing for your sweet girlie, but it is normal and right to feel sad; she's been such an important part of your life. It will NOT hurt. If you can possibly be there with her (and I have been through this far too many times, and also with wild animals since I volunteer at several rehab centers, and so I KNOW it is very very very hard and you will hurt and you will cry, but ...), if you can possibly try, I think you should try to be there with her. It will help you to see how painlessly and peacefully she will be able to say goodbye, and it will help you to touch her warm and wonderful fur in a goodbye. If you truly can't, you can't, and there is no fault in that. But please be open to thinking that you can, my dear. You are doing what she so needs, and doing it in love.

 

Jennifer & Talica & the Hedgegirlz

 

 

 

[PAWsPups]

Thinking of you.

[Guest chigal950]

As hard as it is, you will know that you did the right thing by letting her go when the time was right. It is the last best gift you can give to her, when the good days/hours are outnumbered by the bad. Love every minute you have left with her. I am so sorry.

 

 

[Neighsayer]

It is hard to be there for the final moment but it is also hard to regret not being there. Think about it more before making up your mind. There is no do-over.

It's ok to cry and ok to be upset. Your husband will be there for you. Talk it over with him. This is a major part of being a parent to a pet. It is also one that we try not to think about til the time comes. This last act is the one we do to show how much they mean to us. It is for them, not us.

Love and spoil your baby this week and take care of yourself.

Hug your pets, your husband, and yourself!

[Guest Machbragal]

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. It's the very toughest part of having a pet in your life. I'm grateful this dear dog has been loved up to the very last second. No doubts, no fears -- this dog is loved. It's the most wonderful gift anyone can give to a dog or any animal. As for being there . . . that's really up to you. I had to be there, just to let my baby know that I'd never let her go through anything without me. But then I was a real mess afterwards. So, it's just very tough. Be really gentle with yourself. It's going to be hard. But your pup will give you a sign one day, to let you know there's no more pain, no more tiredness, no more confusion.

[Batmom]

The peeing -- a person could probably find a way to deal neatly with that.

 

The pain -- if she is always in pain and there is nothing that can be done to alleviate it while still letting her enjoy life, then it is her person's responsibility to let her go. My opinion only. It hurts more to watch them hurt than it does to let them go.

 

Being there -- not any harder than what you're going through now. Your vet has seen people cry and may well cry too -- perhaps while you are there, perhaps not. The protocol my vet uses -- I imagine others are similar -- the pet lies comfortably on her bed or in your lap. Vet gives a drug that puts the dog to sleep sleep and then when you are ready gives the drug that will slow and finally stop the heart. The dog first sleeps, peacefully; then breathing gradually slows and finally stops.

 

Even when right, it's a horrible hard thing to have to decide and to do. I'll be thinking of you all this week and beyond.

[NevadasMom]

I encourage you to be there, for your pup and for you. It will be less stressful for the dog & you can see how gentle the process is and not be afraid when you have other pets that need help to the bridge. When I had my kitty PTS, that was the one thing that impressed me-how gentle the whole process was. You will not regret it if you be there. Hugs to you.

[Guest MZH]

I'm wondering if Ellie is really in kidney failure. Having been through this with three of our pets, I know they quit eating and they vomit a lot when they are in failure. Since she is still eating and drinking I kinda doubt she is is in end-stage kidney failure.

 

Please find out if she has Cushings disease or diabetes insipidus or even spay incontinence before you put her down. Even tick borne diseases can cause some of these symptoms. A Snap 4 in-office test can show some of that in a few minutes.

 

We once had a 10 year old girl with the exact same symptoms and it turned out she had Lyme disease. We were very close to putting her down. We treated her successfully, thank heavens. She bounced back and lived to be almost 13.

 

Best wishes!

 

Marcia in CT but soon to be in SC

[Guest jettcricket]

Thank you all, DH spoke with the vet this afternoon and we have an appt for 2.40pm on friday, im going from feeling to feeling right now...one minute im relieved for her that its all going to be over, the other part of me is just so dam sad, im frightenned for her...will it be painful? I dont know if i can be there in the room with her...will she hate me for not being there? Im just not sure im strong enough...

I remember years ago when I had to have my kitty Rusty PTS. I was besides myself....when I came out of the vet office crying the receptionist said to me, "Honey....people should go as peacefully as your Rusty". I held onto that thought and it did give me some comfort. They do give them a pre-shot (tranquilzer)....they basically zone out and once the final shot is given that's it.

 

Still and all I know how hard it is.....sending you and your family love, support and comfort.

Edited May 30, 2007 by jettcricket

[Guest gapeach1]

So very sorry that you are having to make the tough decisions. Your Ellie trusts you to know when the quality of life is taken from her, and the decision you make is a loving one for her, despite how terribly much it hurts. I know that Emily will be lost, you may consider getting another grey as company for her, as I did this for one of my other dogs when we lost my beloved Tony, swiftly, suddenly and tragically to seizures and a stroke. My heart goes out to you....I am in the same boat again, but now with my oldest dog who is a small miniature housedog (miniature poodle) and the heart medication has thrown him precariously close to kidney failure. So, I am just waiting and will decide when the time is right. Having pets to love is a wonderful thing, but it is also a sacrifice and takes so much of us, because we give so much of ourselves, as we love them so very much. You are in my thoughts and I hope that you find some peace for Ellie.

GAPeach1

[Guest Bee]

Firstly to you all

 

We had to have our GSD PTS 6 years ago and it was the hardest thing ever.

I knew the time was right as he had had enough, I could tell by his eyes,

it still didn't make it any easier. My DH couldn't come in with me and now regrets it

so much. I am not saying it was easy by any means but I am so glad I was

there at the end, please don't worry about crying Ellie is part of your family

and always will be. Whatever your decision Ellie loves you a lot

and I'm sure she wont hold it against you at all, It has to be your decision

but please don't regret the one you make.

 

Again to you all

[jodyksam]

Oh Tory... my heart is breaking for you as you face this tough decision. You and I adopted our girls at the same time, and you were such a wonderful support to me and Daisy. Others have said this earlier - the most loving thing we can do for our girls is to help ease them to the bridge, especially when they are telling us it's time. I hope you do go with her; yes, it will be tough, but she will know you are beside her through even this last door. Take care, sweetie, I'm just so sorry :( .

 

:grouphug

[Neighsayer]

Thinking of you.