People ask me how I do it. Sometimes I don't know....it never gets easier--and it shouldn't!
What I encourage everyone, is to mourn, but do not dwell. It serves no purpose. I remember good times more than bad. I still cry for some if I think too long...how can you not miss a friend? And I don't mind talking about them.
When Eliza died, I could have died with her. It was such a useless death. Added to the grief was the guilt that her dying was my fault and the anger--anger at myself. I'd be driving down the street, sobbing, almost unable to see the road many a night coming home from work. I never knew someone could cry as many tears as I did. I finally prayed. I asked that the burden be lifted, and it was. I still hurt, I still grieved, but the overwhelming weight was gone. It took 3 or 4 years before I could even talk about it.
Since then, with everyone who has moved on, as long as I am comfortable that I supported them as long as they wanted to be here or could be here, I will be ok-- I will cry, I will hate sending them on, and I will adopt again. Not because the new one is a replacement, but because someone is waiting their turn. When one leaves, another is waiting and it's their time, their turn to be loved. The one gone on is pain free and having a grand time waiting for us!
I found it interesting that Austin visited quite a few times after Grace came I guess he was seeing if he made the right decision