For Those Who Have Experienced Loss

[Magdalyn58]

Kinsey had dropped dead in the backyard. As I sat and read the words in the email from my client, I couldn’t believe it. I saw the message entitled Kinsey, and thought perhaps she had experienced another seizure. I should have noticed the time - just after midnight - a clue that something was wrong.

 

As I stared at the screen, my usually calm demeanor felt a shock wave go through it. Kinsey had a pacemaker. She wasn’t supposed to collapse and die. It seemed like an eternity before I could get up and call her guardian. After a morning of sadness, talking with her cardiology group, and shifting from a veterinary to a spiritual perspective, I knew that as in every beloved pet’s death, it was time.

 

Many people don’t understand the emotion surrounding a pet’s death. Our friends mean well when they tell us to go out and get another dog or cat. But we know it’s not that simple. We have to grieve the part of us that’s gone. Many clients have told me that they grieved more over the loss of their pet then over a human relative’s death. They talk about the guilt they feel from these emotions. From a spiritual perspective, those humans were loved, but they weren’t part of them. They weren’t on this earth to walk life’s journey with them. Their animals were.

 

All our pets teach us something as they travel through life with us. Sometimes the journey is difficult; sometimes it’s nothing but joy. In either case, their passing can create a grief that takes us to our knees.

 

Many veterinary schools have grief counselors and pet loss support groups. These caring professionals and volunteers have an understanding of the human-animal bond, and can guide us through the grief process. If your loss is overwhelming, or you would like to talk about your beloved pet, reach out to someone who has experience with human-animal relationships.

 

And don’t hesitate to reach out to your pet. Sound strange? Science tells us that matter is neither created nor destroyed; it only changes form. All of life is energy, and your pet hasn’t gone anywhere. His physical presence has shifted to a different vibration. Your spiritual paths together are still intact, but you can’t experience this new part of the journey together unless you know it exists.

 

You may want to try this simple exercise. Think of your beloved pet, and open your heart. Feel the joy of her life, or the grief caused by her loss. While experiencing this feeling, ask for greater understanding. It may take time, but if you continue this process, the wisdom of the situation will come through.

 

A word of warning is in order. Pure grief is a positive energy state created by the loss of something precious to us. It is not: why did this happen to me or what did everyone, including myself, do wrong? It is not blame. Those thoughts are coming from a negative place. Having said that, you may want to ask for clarity surrounding them. They can illuminate other areas of your life that are being influenced by these beliefs.

 

Negative thoughts don’t connect us to the help that’s available. On the contrary, they block it from finding us, and create more drama in our lives. So, bringing awareness to these negative emotions is one more way your pet can help you create a more joyful life — even in his absence.

 

Today is dedicated to Kinsey, whose joyful tail wags and slobbery kisses taught us all about staying positive in the midst of life’s challenges. I thank you for being you, and for all you have taught us.

 

 

 

Dr. Susan Wagner is a board certified veterinary neurologist whose pioneering work acknowledges the bioenergetic interaction between people and animals. She is an advocate for change in the area of interpersonal violence and animal cruelty, and works toward a greater understanding surrounding the health implications of the human-animal bond.

 

Residing in Worthington OH, she is an active public speaker in the areas of energy theory and healing, spirituality, and the human-animal bond. She especially enjoys teaching about the spiritual nature of animals. Dr. Wagner is published in several peer-reviewed journals. She is also co-author of Through A Dog’s Ear: Using Sound to Improve the Health and Behavior of Your Canine Companion, and was research director for the Through A Dog’s Ear CD series. Dr. Wagner is an Adjunct Assistant Professor at The Ohio State University Veterinary College, and a Level IV Healing Touch for Animals practitioner.

 

 

[Guest K9_Lady]

Thank you for sharing....

[MP_the4pack]

Many people don’t understand the emotion surrounding a pet’s death. Our friends mean well when they tell us to go out and get another dog or cat. But we know it’s not that simple. We have to grieve the part of us that’s gone. Many clients have told me that they grieved more over the loss of their pet then over a human relative’s death. They talk about the guilt they feel from these emotions. From a spiritual perspective, those humans were loved, but they weren’t part of them. They weren’t on this earth to walk life’s journey with them. Their animals were.

 

 

My babies have been gone for 8 and 10 yrs now. I still miss them more than my own brother whom I lost 5 yrs ago at the young age of 42.

 

I have always felt guilty about that.

 

 

 

[Guest ss556]

This post came at a perfect time for me. It's been 3 1/2 months since I lost my precious boy and it's not an easy journey. Although there are plenty of times I can smile about Alan and remember the good and funny times, there are still times of sad moments and moments that I miss him so much it hurts. I have mentioned many times that Alan's passing was as devastating to me as when my mom passed years ago. Some people "get it" and some don't. I was so blessed, though, to have him in my life. We were both so lucky.

[robinw]

this came at a good time for me, also. i think the full impact of Loca's death is just starting to kick in. thank you.

[Guest brandi007]

A part of myself still takes the blame for Foxy not being here and it breaks my heart everyday.

 

Thanks for posting that, it made my heart hurt in a good way.

[laurie]

That article makes so much sense. Thank you for posting.

 

To Alan's mom and Loca's mom, and all of you who hurt so much at losing our furkids, you have my sympathy and my complete understanding. We can help eachother through our losses--when no one else understands, we understand eachother.

[marion]

I read this article with great interest and I think it helps me right now that I have lost my adored 'Ivy-Blue' just

2 days ago...

 

Thanks for sharing!

[Guest Patti604]

Thank you for this. I lost my heart dog 3 years ago and still have a very heavy heart. I will try to be more positive and not have so much guilt.

[FountainLady]

Thank you for posting this. I have emailed it to a couple people who have faced the loss of their heart-dogs.

 

 

[Guest Heehoo]

This is very helpful to me having just lost Halo less than a week ago & Gogh in February. Thank you so much for posting this.

[crazygang]

Thank you.....

[Guest CampWhippet]

 

39 days ago Sasha left me. Today I can see her. Thank you.

[RobinM]

It's been 143 days (but who's counting) We have mostly good days but there are times when I am totally shattered.

 

it's a very difficult thing to go through. Her presence is missed emourmously.

[NevadasMom]

WOW.....I love it!

[Guest PhillyPups]

I had to wait till I got home to read this as it is a Memorial Day for me. It started by thinking of my sweet angel TigerPower, which led me to The Queen's dynamics, and why isn't my beloved Stepper here to nurse me through it. This led me to my Runner who started me on this journey, and brought me The Divine Ms.SugarBear -

 

As I wite this I am surrounded by my wonderful 5 companions and realize my 5 special angels carried me through another day and brought me home to peace and joy. Yes they are always with us -

 

I have often felt guilty that I mourn my angels more than my parents, but I think it is because they are MY guardian angels carrying me through everything in life _

 

Thank you for posting this here, where we all understand and help carry each other.

[Guest 4greytful]

Thank you

[PatricksMom]

Thank you for sharing. I think I'll share this with my vet next time I come in--it might be something good to hand out, maybe along with a book suggestion or two on coping with the loss of a pet to parents who've lost a furkid.

[Valencia]

It's been just 3 months and 3 days since Sydney Sue went to the bridge, and not a day goes by that I don't think of her. I miss her so much. Only other animal people understand the bond we have with our furry babies. I am so very grateful for the support of those who do get it. I'm glad that we have each other to get through these experiences.

[Guest LANDOLISA]

It has been very difficult for me these past few months, losing Lisa May 6th and Lando July 23rd, I am completely lost without them. This article helped, but my healing process is going to be long and hard. I talk to both of them daily and express how much I love and miss them. I miss our hugs at the door, playing outside, nightly walks, the weekend multiple walks, muting the TV and listening to them breath as they drift into a deep sleep. I could go on and on, I guess what I am saying is cherish every moment you can with your greys (or pets in general), these will be times you long for when they pass on. Edited July 31, 2009 by LANDOLISA

[Guest shayla]

Thanks for the article. I still can't let the loss of Shayla creep into my mind too much. It's still much to painful. But I do have a neighbor who shares the same type of relationship with her dogs and she helps us a lot! She really gets it.

[Guest jeannejj]

Thank you.

[fourofem]

Thank you so much....I have had such a hard time with losing Lewis.

[JedsMom]

Thank you for sharing this.

[Guest deanna]

thank you. i've been having such a hard time with losing Ollie. And poor Jared. Those boys were connected at the soul. I copied this and emailed it to him. we've talked a lot the last few days about ollie, stories about him, how to grieve and move on, WHEN to move on?, WHY is it so hard?

this was a great perspective. gives us validation for the grief we feel, i think.