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Is It Normal


Guest loreha
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Okay, here we go.. Missy spent 11 days at Cornell Animal Hospital then we brought her home for 5 days then had to take her back, only to have her put to sleep.. The next day both of my children were schedualed to have their tonsils out(all is going well there) I am getting sick... Okay now you have a brief history of my past week. Now for the question, is it normal not to have any grieving going on yet? I do find myself being over caring for my kids yet being a little snippy towards my hubby. but as far as grieiving the loss of my wonderful friend I feel I have not... Could it be cause we didn't bring her home, we are having her cremated..I do keep thinking about the fedex guy bringing my baby home in about another week(we would go get her remains but the drive is around 3 hours) We had agreed this would be better on all of us as a whole... I washed all the blankets we had her on when she was here for those 5 days except for her blanky that she came to us with... I just couldn't put it in the washer... It is still sitting on the chair in my bathroom.. I look at it everytime I go in there. I just haven't cried... Am I doing so much just so I don't have to accept the fact she is never coming home to play.. What is wrong with me??? Sometimes I feel like such a bad mommy cause of this... Please help me.... :(

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:grouphug Hugs to you, I am so sorry for your loss.

 

There is nothing wrong with you, we each go through the grieving process in our own way. You are definately NOT a bad mum, I have nothing but admiration for you.

I think maybe you are trying to be strong so as not to upset the rest of your family, you could also be in a little shock, so much has happened in a short period of time, it maybe that when Missy's ashes do come home you will let yourself go & have a cry but if not please dont feel bad, just because you dont cry doesnt mean you loved her any less.

My heart goes out to you, try to take a little time for yourself.

 

Run free little angel Missy.

 

Take care

Debbie. :f_pink

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People grieve in their own ways, and shock and avoidance (intentional or unintentional) is a normal reaction. In time I'm sure you'll be able to process your feelings, but in the meantime you're not a bad mommy. You loved her deeply, and when you're ready, you'll deal in your own way. I'm sorry for your loss they.

Beth, Petey (8 September 2018- ), and Faith (22 March 2019). Godspeed Patrick (28 April 1999 - 5 August 2012), Murphy (23 June 2004 - 27 July 2013), Leo (1 May 2009 - 27 January 2020), and Henry (10 August 2010 - 7 August 2020), you were loved more than you can know.

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Guest ProudGreyMom

I'm so sorry for your loss. Everyone grieves differently, and you will in your own way and time. You can't judge your own actions on everyone else. It seems you had to focus on your sick children and they needed all of your attention.

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I'm so sorry for your loss. Perhaps receiving her ashes has made it all real for you... and crying will help your heart to heal. Know that love never dies... may your memories of Missy bring you comfort. :bighug

Jeanne with Remington & Scooter the cat
....and Beloved Bridge Angels Sandee, Shari, Wells, Derby, Phoenix, Jerry Lee and Finnian.....
If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven
and bring you home again.

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Just some hugs to hold you over till it hurts a little less.

Star aka Starz Ovation (Ronco x Oneco Maggie*, litter #48538), Coco aka Low Key (Kiowa Mon Manny x Party Hardy, litter # 59881), and mom in Illinois
We miss Reko Batman (Trouper Zeke x Marque Louisiana), 11/15/95-6/29/06, Rocco the thistledown whippet, 04/29/93-10/14/08, Reko Zema (Mo Kick x Reko Princess), 8/16/98-4/18/10, the most beautiful girl in the whole USA, my good egg Joseph aka Won by a Nose (Oneco Cufflink x Buy Back), 09/22/2003-03/01/2013, and our gentle sweet Gidget (Digitizer, Dodgem by Design x Sobe Mulberry), 1/29/2006-11/22/2014, gone much too soon. Never forgetting CJC's Buckshot, 1/2/07-10/25/10.

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My thoughts and prayers are with you. We all grieve in our own way. Getting her ashes (her worldly remains) just made it a reality you could touch. I myselif pretty much did the same when I lost my heart dog Max. When I got the ashes (mom picked them up cause i couldnt bear to) when I got home and saw them I could not stop crying for almost a day. I have Max's ashes on my dresser with his fave toy and collar.BUT i know he is not that box.....he is up running around at the bridge. Just remember their life isnt over just the body here is no longer

Cassie: Pikes Clara Bell Swoop: My Man Swoop

BRIDGE ANGELS Psi:WD'S Aleford 3/17/00-4/25/10 Snowman: Gable Snowman 1/9/96-2/14/08

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I am feeling better today.. I got a card from the ICU staff at Cornell Animal Hospital.. Personally signed by all the ICU people with nice little notes about how much they grew attatched to Missy during her 11 day stay with them, and how sorry they are for our loss.. Including the surgeon.. One thing he wrote that has helped us get through this is that he truely believed we made the right choice.. When I read that I took a deep breath and cried.. But knowing he felt that way was a great relief off us... I have often thought what if??? Now I know it was for the best.. That was very comforting...

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Guest Ferrevergrey

Everyone grieves in a different way, and I've found with myself, I react different to different situations. When I had to euthanize my heeler, the same day my mom brought home a charming older dog from the shelter, and I was in to much shock to grieve, and eventually Sandy(The dog she brought home) helped ease my loss a lot when I did start to grieve. When Sandy crossed the rainbow bridge, I was overwhelmed, and grieved immediatly, and the pain still resurfaces from time to time.

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I am so sorry for your loss of Missy. We all handle grief in our own way, and I am thinking that you probably had to put your's to the back, to be able to take care of your children first. Take your time and allow yourself to grieve in your own time.

Greyhound angels at the bridge- Casey, Charlie, Maggie, Molly, Renie, Lucy & Teddy. Beagle angels Peanut and Charlie. And to all the 4 legged Bridge souls who have touched my heart, thank you. When a greyhound looks into you eyes it seems they touch your very soul.

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more then he loves himself". Josh Billings

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  • 2 weeks later...

So sorry for your loss.

Right before we put Millie to sleep, the vet said that she obviously had been loved, and that helped a great deal. They, too, sent us a book about grieving for a pet, and everyone had signed it. We thanked them and sent them a letter talking about Mil's escapades and a picture of her and then they kindly made a contribution to the zoo in her name.

It's been over a year, and my hubby still doesn't understand why I cry at times. We all grieve in our own ways and at our own speed.

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Guest manyhats42

Taht poem made my cry. It is beautiful.

 

So sorry for your loss. Your a good mom. Cry as long as you need to. And talk about it when you have the need. :f_red

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I'm very sorry to hear of your loss.

Deerhounds Darcy, Duffy, Grace & Wellington, Mutts Sprout & Buddy, Lurchers Ned & Jake plus Ella the Westie + cats. Remembering Del, Jessie, Maddison, Flo, Sally, Stanley, Wallace, Radar, Mokka, Oki cat, Tetley, Poppy & Striker.

 

Please visit our web store at http://www.dogsndubs.com for our own range of Greyhound related clothing for humans!

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Please find comfort in knowing that Missy smiles down upon you until you meet again. She knows how much she was loved. :f_pink

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Patti-Mommy of Lady Sophia 7-28-92 - 8-3-04... LaceyLaine 8-2-94-12-5-07...

Flash Gordon 7-14-99 - 8-29-09... BrookLynne...Pavé Maria... and 18 Bridge Kids.

WATCHING OVER US~SOPHIA~QUEENIE~LACEY LAINE~

CODY ANGELO~FLASH GORDON.

 

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Guest cindysmom

I'm so sorry you lost your baby. I really can't add much to what everyone else has said. I do know that sometimes I don't cry right away. I seem to go into control mode, especially when others are depending upon me, as it sounds like you had to be for the children. The grieving will come to you in its own time, likely when you least expect it. If so, let it happen. We're all here for you whenever you need to talk, cry, or whatever. Gentle hugs to you.

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