smt Posted June 22 Share Posted June 22 Hello, it's been many years since I was last active in any of the forums. The years have been good, as our family was complete with 2 brindle girls that were adopted when the track in Birmingham closed in 2020. Bette and Ursula quickly bonded, and spent all day , every day together since they arrived at our house a few months apart in 2020. We lost Bette suddenly and tragically this past TH. She was running in the yard and went down suddenly in excruciating pain. We rushed her to the e-vet, and they said she was paralyzed in her hind quarters, and listed off several potential reasons why this might have happened. The options for recovery were not guaranteed or good, and she was suffering, so we let her go. I struggled with that decision, but got validation from the e-vet, and then from her regular vet when I spoke to her yesterday that we made the right decision. I am shattered. I can't stop crying. And I am in shock. I am writing, though, with questions about the grieving process for grey's when they lose a bonded grey companion. Ursula is definitely subdued and "flat". She came into the kitchen a few moments ago and started whining. She NEVER does that. I assume that's her way of expressing her confusion and sadness because she misses her sissy. Her vet said to give her a few weeks to adjust. She is eating ok and sleeping through the night. She seems excited to go for her morning walks. Thats about the only energy we are seeing with her. My question to the community is around what they have noticed if/when one of your grey's lost their bonded companion. Do you notice a permanent personality change? We hope she will return to her old goofball self. She and Bette seemed to feed off of each others energy, in a good way, and Bette was the "leader" in lots of ways. I feel so bad for Ursula. I know how heartbroken I feel. I can't begin to imagine what is going on in her little heart and mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greysmom Posted June 22 Share Posted June 22 The process for dogs is much like human grieving. Each dog handles it differently. Our job as humans is to support them and give them love and attention when they want, and space when they need. Personally, I usually focus on keeping them active and engaged - additional walks or play sessions, new training classes or activities, play dates with other greyhound friends, more car rides for ice cream and hamburgers, maybe a short weekend away at the beach, etc. Be aware that she *may* develop separation anxiety, especially if she was the more anxious of the two. It may be that she will not be ok with being a solo dog, so you should consider your options in this regard going forward (fostering is always an option as well). It just takes as long as it takes, and it's doubly hard since we are grieving too. {{{hugs}}} Quote Chris - Mom to: Felicity (DeLand), and Andi (Braska Pandora) siggy by Chris Harper, on Flickr Angels: Libby (Everlast), Dorie (Dog Gone Holly), Dude (TNJ VooDoo), Copper (Kid's Copper), Cash (GSI Payncash), Toni (LPH Cry Baby), Whiskey (KT's Phys Ed), Atom, Lilly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShebasMom Posted June 22 Share Posted June 22 Oh my, I am so very sorry for your sudden loss and what you and Ursula are going through! My heart goes out to you both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShebasMom Posted June 22 Share Posted June 22 6 minutes ago, ShebasMom said: Oh my, I am so very sorry for your sudden loss and what you and Ursula are going through! My heart goes out to you both. I had the complete opposite experience many years ago when I had a Great Dane and a hound mix, both females. The Dane was a real piece of work--unusual for a Dane, she didn't particularly like to be petted, was anxious riding in my car and chewed the seatbelt and overhead upholstery, and never really settled down in the 12 years I had her. I worked all day and always wondered how the two dogs got along because when I got home evey day the hound's head fur was always all slobbery and standing on end. Not damaged, just a mess. When the Dane lost the use of her hind end, she had to be euthanized. When I got home from the vet without the Dane, the hound was so happy--rolling around on the floor with a smile on her face, barking and just a really happy girl. There definitely was no grieving for the hound that day, and to be honest, not a lot from me because the Dane was not the nicest dog and so different from my other Danes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MP_the4pack Posted June 22 Share Posted June 22 I waited anywhere from 3 weeks to a year to adopt another. Sometimes there was bonding. Sometimes not. Sometimes there was a personality change, sometimes not. It's really up to the dog. If you're not sure, wh6 not try play dates or fostering. She how she reacts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramonaghan Posted June 22 Share Posted June 22 Sonya, I'm so sorry you lost your Bette so suddenly. Your post couldn't be more timely. I suspect Doolin will be mourning the loss of his littermate. Once this terrible heat lets up a bit, let me know if you want to arrange a playdate. We know some other greyhound people in town and it would be good to get together. PM me if you need my number again. Sending many hugs your way. Quote Rachel with Doolin Doodle Dooooo, boss cat Tootie, and feline squatters Crumpet and Fezziwig. Missing gentlemen kitties Mud, Henry, and Richard and our gorgeous, gutsy girlhounds Sweep and Willa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smt Posted June 22 Author Share Posted June 22 9 minutes ago, MP_the4pack said: I waited anywhere from 3 weeks to a year to adopt another. Sometimes there was bonding. Sometimes not. Sometimes there was a personality change, sometimes not. It's really up to the dog. If you're not sure, wh6 not try play dates or fostering. She how she reacts. She's reactive with other dogs, at least on walks. She and Bette never had a moments trouble (except once when Bette put her in her place bc she got too close to Bette's treat). But I'm a little nervous to have her around other dogs. Especially non-grey's. My sister has 2 GH litter mate brothers, and she's ok with them (we muzzle them all when they are out in the yard together). But she has growled at my sisters new lab teenager, and I never let them roam around together in the same room unsupervised. We are nowhere near ready to adopt, and honesty. I think the chapter of our lives that was shared with greyhounds is coming to an end when Ursula is no longer with us. We enjoyed fostering GH's, and that allowed us to see which dogs were good fits prior to committing to adopt. Those days seem long gone. And I have spent the last 12 year (the duration of time I have had GH's as pets) with constant background anxiety about osteo. Couple that with our plans to do a lot of camping when we retire in the next few years, and I just don't see grey's in our future. This saddens me terribly. They have been such wonderful pets, and I have loved them immensely. Bette was only 6.5 when we lost her. We honestly thought we would get more good years with our girls, together as a happy family. That is not what fate had in store. But back to Ursula's needs, I will take her on more car rides and walks, and check into training for reactive dogs, and she will start going up to spend more time with her GH cousins for play dates and a change of scenery. And I will cross my fingers that she will come around after some time, and be a happy girl again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smt Posted June 22 Author Share Posted June 22 1 minute ago, ramonaghan said: Sonya, I'm so sorry you lost your Bette so suddenly. Your post couldn't be more timely. I suspect Doolin will be mourning the loss of his littermate. Once this terrible heat lets up a bit, let me know if you want to arrange a playdate. We know some other greyhound people in town and it would be good to get together. PM me if you need my number again. Sending many hugs your way. Oh my gosh, Rachel. It's been SUCH a long time. I take it lots has changed in your life, as has mine. I would love to re-connect. Maybe we can take the pups for a walk, and see how that goes (see my post about Ursula's reactivity). She does love to walk, though. I'm so so sorry to hear about the anticipatory grief you and yours are experiencing. I have been so out of the loop. I've got your number my phone as 'Rachel Sweeps Mom", which made me smile when I just looked it up. Unless it has changed, I still have it. Will shoot you a text soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramonaghan Posted June 22 Share Posted June 22 12 minutes ago, smt said: Oh my gosh, Rachel. It's been SUCH a long time. I take it lots has changed in your life, as has mine. I would love to re-connect. Maybe we can take the pups for a walk, and see how that goes (see my post about Ursula's reactivity). She does love to walk, though. I'm so so sorry to hear about the anticipatory grief you and yours are experiencing. I have been so out of the loop. I've got your number my phone as 'Rachel Sweeps Mom", which made me smile when I just looked it up. Unless it has changed, I still have it. Will shoot you a text soon. Always Sweep's Mom. (I have you as Sonya Greyhound!) Quote Rachel with Doolin Doodle Dooooo, boss cat Tootie, and feline squatters Crumpet and Fezziwig. Missing gentlemen kitties Mud, Henry, and Richard and our gorgeous, gutsy girlhounds Sweep and Willa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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