Guest Awesome Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 I recently got a grey about 6 months ago, and he's doing great! He's not the most affectionate grey though. He is comfortable just hanging out in the room next to where we are, but not right near us. Is this normal? How do I get my grey to be more affectionate? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest happygrey Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 He's probably still coming out of his shell. It really does take them a while. You may want to take a basic obedience class with him - - that can really help with the bond. Beyond that, give him lots of love and treats and patience. Our 3 are all very different from the way they were during the first few months here with us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inugrey Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 Best not to force the issue, and wait. Some dogs aren't affectionate in the way humans expect. My dogs are very affectionate in their own way but none of them want to snuggle and I respect their space. Quote Colleen with Covey (Admirals Cove) and Rally (greyhound puppy)Missing my beloved boy INU (CJ Whistlindixie) my sweetest princess SALEM (CJ Little Dixie) and my baby girl ZOE (LR's Tara) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KennelMom Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 Sounds pretty normal. You can't "make" a dog more affectionate...they are who they are. Most are quite content to be near you. There are quite a few though who would crawl inside you if they could You may find your boy comes out of his shell more over time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greysmom Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 Even though you've had him for six months, he is still probably settling in and getting used to things. It can take many months for some greys to really blossom. If he's food motivated you can reward him for spending time with you, but there's no magic wand to wave to make him be more affectionate. Most greyhounds will never be as affectionate as labs and goldens - they were developed to either race or hunt on their own, so they have no genetic disposition to work cooperatively with people. That being said, the owners definitely can influence the personality of their greyhound. If you'd like him to be more affectionate, then be more affectionate with him. Go into the room where he likes to hang out and just sit quietly with him. If he's not space aggressive you might sit close to his bed and calmly pet him for a few minutes at a time. Don't force the issue, but insert yourself more into his down time. Get a Zoom Groom brush or mitt and have a time every day where you brush him - this feels good for him and helps you bond. Take him walking - which is also another good bonding activity (be careful in the heat though). Make sure he sleeps in your bedroom at night. This will help him to feel more part of the "pack" that he's now in. But in general, I would say a LOT pf time and patience. Quote Chris - Mom to: Felicity (DeLand), and Andi (Braska Pandora) siggy by Chris Harper, on Flickr Angels: Libby (Everlast), Dorie (Dog Gone Holly), Dude (TNJ VooDoo), Copper (Kid's Copper), Cash (GSI Payncash), Toni (LPH Cry Baby), Whiskey (KT's Phys Ed), Atom, Lilly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Swifthounds Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 Sounds pretty normal. You can't "make" a dog more affectionate...they are who they are. Most are quite content to be near you. There are quite a few though who would crawl inside you if they could You may find your boy comes out of his shell more over time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Awesome Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 Cool! Thanks for all your advice. I will post updates as time goes on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest june Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 As someone said training is a greyt way to bond with your pup. Also, try to include him in everyday activities. Reading? read out loud and make eye contact with him from time to time. I have found my dogs love the sound of my voice (they are probably the only ones). If I run to the neighbor's house to visit I take one of mine with me and that makes for good one-on-one time. Use your imagination. Mine love going for car rides and I try to stop somewhere I think they might enjoy; a park, a different neighborhood with new smells. june Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mbfilby Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 If he doesn't already, consider having him sleep with you. Be careful of a sleep startle response however. Have him at the foot of the bed and try to keep the sharp end away. Two of our greys had a few episodes of sleep startle but quickly grew out of it. Once our pups got used to sleeping with us, they snuggled right in. Of course, you may trade comfort and sleep for bonding and affection.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greytpups Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Questions like this seem to pop up quite a bit on here lately. Maybe adoption folks should make a note of this and prepare adopters and/or potential adopters. I'm not saying all adoption folks don't do this, just pointing out it may be an area where more discussion is needed, especially since not everyone is a member of GT whereby they can get greyt advice.. Quote Jan with precious pups Emmy (Stormin J Flag) and Simon (Nitro Si) and Abbey Field. Missing my angels: Bailey Buffetbobleclair 11/11/98-17/12/09; Ben Task Rapid Wave 5/5/02-2/11/15; Brooke Glo's Destroyer 7/09/06-21/06/16 and Katie Crazykatiebug 12/11/06 -21/08/21. My blog about grief The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not get over the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to. ― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rallyp Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Questions like this seem to pop up quite a bit on here lately. Maybe adoption folks should make a note of this and prepare adopters and/or potential adopters. I'm not saying all adoption folks don't do this, just pointing out it may be an area where more discussion is needed, especially since not everyone is a member of GT whereby they can get greyt advice.. We always did this. But I think it's one of those things where you can 'hear' it, but you don't really know what it's like until you experience it. And the first time going through it, it's sort of hard to see light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. Quote Lima Bean (formerly Cold B Hi Fi) and her enabler, Rally. ☜We're moving West! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inugrey Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 If he doesn't already, consider having him sleep with you. Be careful of a sleep startle response however. Have him at the foot of the bed and try to keep the sharp end away. Two of our greys had a few episodes of sleep startle but quickly grew out of it. Once our pups got used to sleeping with us, they snuggled right in. Of course, you may trade comfort and sleep for bonding and affection.. I have to admit I'm shocked to see this sort of recommendation. It seems like a recipe for disaster. Dogs have teeth and an "episode" of sleep startle could also mean a lost ear lobe. Please make sure your dogs are comfortable with affection before putting them in your bed, please. We're nearing six full years with my first greyhound. I can't imagine him ever being on my bed nor can I imagine ever hugging him on his. We have a genuine affection for one another that transcends the need to snuggle while laying down, sometimes you have to accept that. This dog is my soul, I don't need to hug him to know that we love and need one another. Quote Colleen with Covey (Admirals Cove) and Rally (greyhound puppy)Missing my beloved boy INU (CJ Whistlindixie) my sweetest princess SALEM (CJ Little Dixie) and my baby girl ZOE (LR's Tara) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mbfilby Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 If he doesn't already, consider having him sleep with you. Be careful of a sleep startle response however. Have him at the foot of the bed and try to keep the sharp end away. Two of our greys had a few episodes of sleep startle but quickly grew out of it. Once our pups got used to sleeping with us, they snuggled right in. Of course, you may trade comfort and sleep for bonding and affection.. I have to admit I'm shocked to see this sort of recommendation. It seems like a recipe for disaster. Dogs have teeth and an "episode" of sleep startle could also mean a lost ear lobe. Please make sure your dogs are comfortable with affection before putting them in your bed, please. We're nearing six full years with my first greyhound. I can't imagine him ever being on my bed nor can I imagine ever hugging him on his. We have a genuine affection for one another that transcends the need to snuggle while laying down, sometimes you have to accept that. This dog is my soul, I don't need to hug him to know that we love and need one another. All of our hounds have/do sleep with us. While I agree it's not a great idea to bring a brand new hound into the bed, after a few months you should have a good understanding of your hounds tolerance. Our pups absolutely love sleeping with us. I would not want to deprive them of that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Swifthounds Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 If he doesn't already, consider having him sleep with you. Be careful of a sleep startle response however. Have him at the foot of the bed and try to keep the sharp end away. Two of our greys had a few episodes of sleep startle but quickly grew out of it. Once our pups got used to sleeping with us, they snuggled right in. Of course, you may trade comfort and sleep for bonding and affection.. I have to admit I'm shocked to see this sort of recommendation. It seems like a recipe for disaster. Dogs have teeth and an "episode" of sleep startle could also mean a lost ear lobe. Please make sure your dogs are comfortable with affection before putting them in your bed, please. I don't know why people insist on promoting the falsehood that creating a false and superficial physical intimacy will lead to the emotional closeness or physical affection people seek with their hounds. It certainly does have tremendous potential for disaster for all involved, as well as a good probability at this stage. Form the relationship first: then try these activities. Training, play training, feeding, talking and interacting, etc. Those things form the relationship and trust you need in place before pressing physical proximity. Want physical closeness with your new hound? Try brushing and massaging them daily. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BrianRke Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 I give all 3 of my dogs the choice of where they want to sleep. Frank and Daytona choose to sleep in the bed with me and Diamond chooses to sleep on the couch in my room. Frank, who has slight sleep/space agression when he's on the couch downstairs, sleeps fine in my bed. For some reason, nothing I do when I'm asleep bothers him (and I know I roll over on him all the time). Even laid back Daytona gets tired of me kicking him in my sleep and will jump off the bed and up on the couch with Diamond. I think it all depends on the individual dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KennelMom Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 The hugging, smooching and spooning are definitely for the humans. That is how WE demonstrate affection and most dogs will learn to tolerate it...some/many even enjoy it and seek it out. But, it's still a very human desire to "feel loved" with overt displays of affection. I hug and smooch all over all of my dogs...some more than others b/c some enjoy it more than others. I know it's for me and that's just part of the deal in exchange for all the things I do for them (the feeding, the walking, the brushing, the treats and games and toys and so on...). It's working out well for us all so far BUT, wiht a new dog...the smooching and hugging and spooning come AFTER the training and relationship building. Every dog is a bit different in what they like and what works to bring them out of their shell. I'm not sure there's much to gain "relationship-wise" by sleeping in the same bed. Once your both asleep, that's pretty much it. However, sleeping in close proximity (ie, the same room) is something most dogs naturally want to do with their "pack" so I do like having dogs in the bedroom with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cleptogrey Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 (edited) He's probably still coming out of his shell. It really does take them a while. You may want to take a basic obedience class with him - - that can really help with the bond. Beyond that, give him lots of love and treats and patience. Our 3 are all very different from the way they were during the first few months here with us. i agree totally. they really bond and look to you for direction, feel more confident and then figure out how to love you to death(well, at least for food) Edited August 26, 2011 by cleptogrey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TBSFlame Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 You need to give it time and it will happen or not. All five of mine would live in my lap if they could but that has not always been the case. Some love to cuddle and some don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bonniesbullet Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 I agree with everything said. Bullet, who is our first grey was very aloof when we first got him. Being that this was our first experience with greyhounds, we were a little taken aback by the "lack of affection"--as I had always been used to labs, Golden's etc..jumping and licking you all over! It does take time and patience to build a relationship with your dog...there are so many good suggestions in this post in which to do that! You will so enjoy the process of seeing your dog come out of his shell! After being with us for 9 years, Bullet can still come across as more aloof with strangers or people he is not close to. But with me and my husband, and my parents he is just a love bug and wants to be where we are! Enjoy the journey of building that relationship! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SteveO Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 From a new GH owner - almost a week now! - I tend to smother our 4 year old girl a bit with praise and general rubbing, stroking, patting softly on the flanks and any other kind of handling that she signals is okay. Along with lots of happy praises. Does she beg for more? No, not really. Does she like it? Definitely and is bonding unusually fast to us. She doesn't jump in our laps, sleep in bed with us or nudge for petting yet. She will come right up to anyone in the family to accept whatever handling they give and seems to enjoy it. We're going as fast as she accepts while totally respecting her privacy needs for potty time and especially during meals right now. She is excited with the food bowl getting filled and tail wags for it. But set it down and she goes into spook mode and becomes nervous, jumpy and wary of any intrusion closer than 6 feet. The family is aware and respects this space and time. Hand to mouth treats are taken super gently after the first few times of her sniffing and taking it off the floor. These are some of our accelerated blossoming girl experiences. We're not forcing anything, but not holding back our affections. And we understand she isn't Lassie or some other Holly-wonder-dog with human emotions and abilities. Every hound will be different and we just seemed to get a very fortunate first GH start. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dragon Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 When we first got our girl, she was easily spooked (and still can be sometimes, though not by us). I found that hand feeding her meals for a while (like a month) really seemed to bond us. Of course, in addition to training, grooming, etc. They are NOT allowed to sleep with us just because there's no room and I'm kind of scared of getting bitten in my sleep. We do have one cuddle (guest) bed that we allow them on for certain family play/cuddle time, which they really seem to enjoy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeorgeofNE Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 ...so I do like having dogs in the bedroom with me. You must have a REALLY big bedroom! :lol Quote Susan, Hamish, Mister Bigglesworth and Nikita Stanislav. Missing Ming, George, and Buck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LindsaySF Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 It might take some time for your dog to come out of his shell, OR he might just have a more lazy and independent personality. My boy Teagan ignores me completely when I'm in the room, but he sure gets upset when I leave, and excited when I get home. He just wants me THERE so he can sleep. Questions like this seem to pop up quite a bit on here lately. Maybe adoption folks should make a note of this and prepare adopters and/or potential adopters. I'm not saying all adoption folks don't do this, just pointing out it may be an area where more discussion is needed, especially since not everyone is a member of GT whereby they can get greyt advice.. We always did this. But I think it's one of those things where you can 'hear' it, but you don't really know what it's like until you experience it. And the first time going through it, it's sort of hard to see light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. Agreed. We always go through this with adopters, but I still get a lot of calls/emails of "She just lays there. Is she sick?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest beemico Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 Hi! I've had my greyhound for a little over a year now. At the beginning he never cuddled with us. He doesn't even seem to really care about getting pet. We barely got kisses. He only would come by for affection if we had food. Even now he's not a huge cuddler, but I have trained him to be more affectionate. At the beginning he was space aggressive towards us. We would only pet him while he wasn't on laying his bed. If he felt we were over him or about to lay near him, he would growl or get up. So after teaching him a lot of the normal commands and bonding with him, I started teaching him to rest his head on my lap. If he put his head on my lap, i would give him a treat. Even though it's not "real" love, it's conditioned him to "like" being pet. It's taken about a year, a lot of consistency, and training to build his trust and respect, but now we're able to lay next to him and have his head in our lap (without treats!). He even gives a lot more kisses now! I don't know if he'll ever be a true cuddler, but I know that he totally trusts us. Also, I don't know how much difference this made, but whenever he'll go to scratch himself, I swoop in and scratch for him, and he totally loves it. Maybe it's just spoiling him, but I feel like it helps him enjoy affection and petting. Hope that helps! Goodluck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeorgeofNE Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Hi! At the beginning he was space aggressive towards us. We would only pet him while he wasn't on laying his bed. If he felt we were over him or about to lay near him, he would growl or get up. So after teaching him a lot of the normal commands and bonding with him, I started teaching him to rest his head on my lap. If he put his head on my lap, i would give him a treat. Even though it's not "real" love, it's conditioned him to "like" being pet. Well, you trained him to perform a trick, essentially. That's not training him to be affectionate. His increased affection is no doubt due to the passage of time, and yes, trust. Greyhounds can take a really long time to adjust to home life. My dog took over a year to settle in to who he is now. Quote Susan, Hamish, Mister Bigglesworth and Nikita Stanislav. Missing Ming, George, and Buck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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